The Knights of the Caribbean
By: twilight-pixie and Kait-the-Pirate
Disclaimer: We don't own anything, but we reserve the right to kill any character. So nyeah.
Note: This fanfic is the result of watching too much Pirates of the Caribbean, King Arthur, and The Mummy Returns. If you haven't seen the above movies, it won't make sense. Come to think of it, even if you have, it won't make sense. It doesn't even make sense to us. That's the beauty of it.
Another Note: We had a terrible time trying to decided what category to put this story under, but we finally decided on this one. This chapter may not sound like it's from King Arthur fic, but it's really just setting the stage for the rest of the story. The next chapter is more KA related. We promise.
Demise of the Obnoxious Commodore
Our story begins as Jack, Will, and Elizabeth sit in a tavern, getting drunk and pondering the mysteries of an ancient sword that Jack had recently stolen. Despite his attempts to disguise himself, Jack was still drawing stares. He was unsure as to whether it was because people recognized the infamous pirate, or because he made a particularly attractive woman.
Suddenly, Commodore Norrington walked into the tavern, accompanied by a group of soldiers. All of them were wearing "I Hate Pirates" shirts. They glanced around suspiciously for a few minutes before spotting Jack. Then, they marched over to the table, and glared maliciously down at the trio.
Elizabeth pasted a fake smile on her face and said, "Hello Norrington. Have you met my cousin Jaclyn?"
Jack smiled sweetly and batted his eyelashes at Norrington. The commodore, although visibly disturbed by this, regained his composure and said, "Clap him in irons!"
The soldiers happily obeyed. Norrington smiled stupidly. "It seems I've finally got you Sparrow."
Annoyed, Jack asked, "How did you know it was me?"
"The beard gave it away."
Elizabeth and Will formed a brilliant plan in the space of three seconds while Jack and Norrington argued over whether the pink dress became the pirate captain.
"Look!" cried Elizabeth, pointing out the window. "A pirate!"
Infuriated, the commodore turned to look. The soldiers looked as well. While they were distracted, Will impaled Norrington upon the ancient sword. Then the three heros ran like hell out of the tavern.
---
By the time the soldiers stopped looking for the non-existent pirate, and noticed Norrington lying dead on the floor, Jack, Will, and Elizabeth were safe in the last place anyone would think to look for them. They were in Elizabeth's bedroom.
Jack fiddled hopelessly with the irons on his hands. "Elizabeth," he said, jangling the chain wildly, "You wouldn't happen to have a hairpin or something that I could pick the lock with?"
She laughed. "I can do better than that!" Elizabeth whistled shrilly, and thunderous footsteps shook the house.
"What's going on?" Jack asked her, as he fell off the bed.
The door burst open and in the doorway stood a gigantic sumo wrestler, cracking his knuckles menacingly.
Jack gulped and peeked over the side of the bed.
"Ah, there you are Mortimer," Elizabeth said happily, "We've got a little job for you."
"Uh, actually we haven't. Everything's fine. Goodbye Morty." Jack stammered, hiding his cuffed hands behind a pillow.
Will looked piteously at Jack and shrugged. "Sorry."
Mortimer picked Jack up easily and flung him into a chair.
Jack yelled and tried to run away, but Mortimer held him in place, pinched the handcuffs, and broke them easily.
Elizabeth beamed at him, "Thanks Mortimer."
"No problem," said the massive man, and strode from the room, shaking the house violently once again.
"Well," said Will, after the house had become still and silent.
"Yes," agreed Elizabeth.
"Indeed," consented Jack.
Will sat on Elizabeth's bed and admired the bloody sword. "Look at these markings," he commented.
Jack leaned over and peered at them. "Interesting," he remarked, bored.
Looking unusually thoughtful, Elizabeth asked, "May I see it Will?"
He shrugged, and handed it to her. The woman gripped the hilt of the old sword, and felt a strange ripple of power run through her.
Flashback
Suddenly, she was sitting in a tree in the woods. Several blue-painted men nearby drew back their bows and aimed toward a field. In the field, there were some men on horses. They wore a lot of red and gold armor, and had on very short skirts.
Un-flashback
Elizabeth realized that she must be more drunk than she'd thought. Suddenly, she realized that she could read the mysterious writing on the blade.
"It says, 'He who slays an obnoxious commodore will bring forth ancient warriors from across time and space'."
The two men stared in awe as she turned the sword over and read, "'Made in China'."
"So..." said Will, "There's an ancient army running around somewhere...maybe we should do something about it..."
Elizabeth shook her head in disgust at his stupidity. "It doesn't say army. It says warriors."
"What's your point?" he asked.
She frowned uncertainly. "Maybe we should try to find them."
Jack looked up from raiding Elizabeth's jewelry box. "What are we doing?"