Note: This chapter actually has King Arthur. Yayness!
Of Rubber Pencils and Mad Governors
Arthur looked on disapprovingly as his knights tried on "I Love Port Royal" t-shirts. He thought they should at least try to find out what was going on, but the others didn't seem to agree. They were having too much fun souvenir shopping.
"Arthur! Look!" cried Galahad, holding up what appeared to be a long, blue stick. "It's a rubber pencil!"
The other knights seemed to find this very interesting, and Bors decided to buy some to take home to his children. Lancelot helped him count out 11 of them.
The clerk smiled broadly and said, "If you buy a dozen you get a free Commodore Norrington plush toy."
"How much is a dozen?" Bors asked her.
The poor woman was unable to answer, as she was busy fending off advances from Lancelot, Gawain, and Galahad at once.
Bors took this to mean that he didn't have to pay for the pencils, and walked out of the store with them. The other knights reluctantly followed. Arthur gave Bors a suspicious look, but said nothing.
Galahad munched on some popcorn. "So, what now?" he asked Arthur. "Shall we find a tavern?"
Arthur sighed. "I suppose we should find someplace to rest and eat."
But at that moment, Gillette and his men marched up with the governor.
"Arrest these...knights for shoplifting!" Governor Swann ordered the soldiers.
Arthur drew his sword, and the soldiers froze.
"What are you waiting for?" the governor spluttered. "These are also, no doubt, the ones who killed the commodore!"
Bors growled menacingly, "We didn't kill no one...yet." He eyed the governor and turned to Dagonet. "Maybe we should kill this poor fellow an' put him outta his misery."
"Who's more miserable?" asked Gawain. "Him or us for having to put up with his presence?"
"I beg your pardon!" Governor Swann said, offended at the men's disrespect.
"An' what's that thing he's got on he head d' ya think Dag?" Bors pointed at the governor's fluffy gray wig.
"It looks...alive," Tristan commented.
"Maybe we should stab it just in case," Gawain agreed.
Arthur gave his knights a stern look, and turned to the governor. "Please sir, my knight are weary and hungry, please let us go, they have done nothing...yet."
Bors quickly hid the pencils behind his back.
Guinevere nodded, "Let us go rest for tonight, and we'll sort things out in the morning."
Governor Swann looked her up and down and gaped. "E-elizabeth?" he stammered. "What on earth are you doing here-and in those...are they supposed to be clothes?"
"Sorry?" she asked. "I believe you've got the wrong girl."
The governor shook his head in disbelief. "You are going home this instant and changing into some proper clothes!" To the knights' dismay, he reached out to put his coat around her.
She drew her bow quickly. "I said, you've got the wrong girl," she told him, holding the tip of the arrow to his throat.
"This is madness!" the governor gasped, backing away. "Have you been drinking?"
Arthur held his sword level with the governor's chest. "You don't seem to have heard what Guinevere said. It would seem that there's been a misunderstanding."
The knights stared as the stupid governor kept insisting that Guinevere was "Elizabeth".
"I think he's the one who's had too much to drink," Gawain muttered to Galahad.
"Now...see here!" Governor Swann stammered. "I am the governor of Port Royal!"
The knights stared at him as if this had no importance whatsoever.
"Elizabeth, put a stop to this nonsense and come home this instant!"
By now, Gillette had grown tired of waiting around, and left.
"Good-bye Governor," Arthur said finally, and began leading his knights away.
Tristan, glanced back at the enraged, shouting governor. "Do you think we should leave him in this state?"
Arthur made a disdainful face. "Maybe not."
"Wouldn't it be better to kill him?" asked Bors hopefully.
"End his suffering," agreed Dagonet.
"Wait!" said a woman's voice. A young woman, who looked remarkably like Guinevere, rushed toward them. "He's my father! I know he's a bit insane, but he's only forgotten to take his medication."
"You must be Elizabeth," said Lancelot with a smile.
"Yes. And this is my fiancé Will Turner."
Will glowered at Lancelot, who grinned nervously. Jack stepped in and introduced himself. The sight of the pirate in his daughter's pink dress caused the governor to have a spasm and start screaming again.
"Pirate!" he yelled. "Pirate!"
"Shut up Daddy," urged Elizabeth.
Jack smiled innocently at passers by and made the sign for crazy, pointing at Governor Swann. Will ushered the governor away.
Elizabeth smiled apologetically at Arthur. "I'm sorry for my father's outburst."
"Outbursts," Galahad corrected her. "Plural."
"Yes...well...sorry." She turned back to Arthur. "You and your um...knights are welcome to stay at our home tonight. I assure you. My father will be heavily sedated and will cause you no further trouble."
"I heard that!" called Governor Swann from down the road a ways.
His daughter smiled and waved at him. Seeming to forget his anger, he waved back enthusiastically. The young woman rolled her eyes and turned back to the knights.
"Is he mad?" asked Galahad in awe.
---
The knights and Guinevere followed Elizabeth to Governor Swann's mansion. Jack came along too. They arrived a safe time after the governor, and when Elizabeth opened the front door, everyone could hear his snoring.
"And I thought Bors snored loud," Gawain commented.
Elizabeth groaned. "He forgot his nasal spray again!" She hurried off, and the thunderous snores soon ceased.
"That's better!" Lancelot sighed and sank into an elegant pink armchair.
Tristan admired a gold candelabrum, and when it broke off in his hand, stuck it in his pocket.
Bors flopped onto the sofa and was soon snoring gently.
Elizabeth came back into the room carrying a tray of food, and Bors woke up with a start.
"Food?" he asked blearily.
"Yeah," Galahad said, eyeing the tea and cakes. He raised his eyebrows. "Got any ale?" he asked Elizabeth, as he took a cake and examined it closely
"There's wine in the kitchen," she said.
No sooner were the words out of her mouth, than Galahad, Gawain, Bors, and Jack tore off in the direction of the wine.
Arthur looked at Will and asked, "Do you have any idea exactly what is going on here?"
"Well..." Will hesitated, "We accidentally summoned you through time by killing an idiot with an ancient sword."
"May we see it?" Guinevere asked worriedly.
Will opened Jack's treasure sack and pulled out the old blade. "Just a little something Jack...found."
Arthur examined it, reading aloud, "'He who slays an obnoxious commodore will bring forth ancient warriors from across time and space'."
Guinevere's eyes widened. "So that means...we may not be the only warriors."