your growl
--cold empty grave dirt where the naked grass grow—
rips through me
shreds through me
cuts me in half
and both those halves fly off in the wind
and i wave them good-bye
'idiot', i think you say
your eyes flashing fire and ice
your fangs dripping fresh blood as you look at me
new prey
fresh meat on a butcher's table
dead blood frying on a greasy pan
something weak
something small
something only meat
it hurts.
'you ruined everything'
your voice cracks like fire inside my head
claws whipping flesh from bone
it hurts.
a lot.
i don't think that you know...
'you did not tell him,' argues my ally
raising her plumes and growing to her full height
a cobra ready to strike fact with reason
the best that she knows how
the others are looking at us now
globs of peach confetti against a crow-feather stage
their eyes shooting holes into my already battered halves
which fall like leaves to the stage and lay there
dead and forgotten
skins ragged from far too much use
'no excuse,' you say to my companion
why are you so mad?
the rot of rage comes off of you and i know—
i know—
you want to stuff it down
snuff it out
be ashamed
but that won't work.
i don't think that you know...
'Perfect excuse,' she snaps
and inside you shrink back
hissing, spitting, at the sudden sting
you stand staring and she stands staring
masters eye-to-eye claw-to-fang
trying to make the other your pet
vying for territory
clawing ripping biting bloodshed
blood pounds in ears and gushes from shoulders
throats rip from screams and lungs cram air out and in again
and blood pours from everywhere
metallic in your mouths and eyes
and the sweat is cold and fierce and soaking
and the blood is just everywhere
everywhere everywhere
--inside of your heads.
i don't know why someone's fighting for me, even if its just staring.
i don't know why i don't fight for myself, even if just in words.
i just don't think you know,
that's all;
that i feel you all the time.
that i feel everyone all of the time.
that i can smell every feeling before you burn it out,
that i can hear every noise you say inside your head,
that if how you are means you feel nothing at all,
then how i am means i feel everything
all at once
all the time
everywhere
every day.
i don't think that you know...
"fine!" you say, taking one last snap at her throat before retreating your territory,
stalking off into the night of the hallway,
bitter salted metal floods my mouth and your soul,
and i know that you know you hate to know you're wrong.
"Beast Boy?" asks my ally, in a quiet coo,
and i begin my slow change back to a human voice
--You're not really wrong—
and it's like a pillow's been pushed over all my senses,
--You just don't—
smothering them, smothering me,
--See—
and I begin to realize
in a vague wisp of morphing shadow
That I can't feel you any more.
"Beast Boy!" says Starfire, raising her voice, then seeing his back and lowering it again, her face softening as she does so.
"Are you all right, friend Beast Boy?"
He turns around and smiles.
"Of course, dude! I always am!"
Author's Ramblings: Hmm...I don't think I like this one as much as the first. Raven's little villanelle was meant to be a one-shot anyway; I think getting reviewed by two of my fanfiction mentors inspired me to move on (thanks be to SuNsHiNe 10 and Lost Inside!! Not to mention justin sane and PirateChick...man, you guys all rock).I don't know if I could make the villanelle into a fulfledged fanfic, though, like I've said, a fulfledged fanfic is coming...just not quite yet ;; So please be on the look out for it and review when it does come...I think it'll probably focus on Raven and/or Beast Boy when it does (that's right, I'm a shipper; so sue me, I'm keepin' the faith!)
The concept behind this one was "Gee, I wonder what writing from Beast Boy in animal form would be like?" and I think in that I failed (the thought process was waaaaaaaay too coordinated for an animal, even if I did kinda, y'know, forgo punctuation.) I don't know if I mentioned this in the A/N for Raven's villanelle, but I'm really not a poet at all; I'm much, much more of just a writer of regular prose, and I think that comes across in the formatting for this one. Also, does Beast Boy ever call Starfire "dude"? Hmmm....In any case, what's going on in this poem (in case you couldn't figure out from my confusing non-stop imagery; you won't have been the first, trust me) is Raven is mad at Beast Boy (again) for some reason (again) and Starfire has finally had enough and tries to defend him. They get into a stare-down and Starfire actually wins (which I think if Star was P.O.'d enough she could do it), and Raven stalks off while Starfire nervously checks on Beast Boy.
...Woot!!
Once again, reviews are almost always what manage to keep me going (see this chapter for example). Even if it's just a few words, please review. If you didn't like it, please leave constructive criticism. Probably the only thing I appreciate more than a good review is constructive criticism. NOTE! That's CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM, not flames. Saying "I hate it, I hate you, go die" isn't going to help me write better, contrary to the beliefs of some. In any case, thanks for taking the time to read, and once again these poems are a bit of a pass time until I get my actual story up.
With love and steamy Ramen (mmmm...),
Protagonist Hiro
p.s. Man, did any of you catch Spellbound last night? Much as I love a bit of BB/Raven possible-fluff (and god knows we get so little of it I'm leaping on what scraps I do receive), is it just me or did the writers just kind of forget about that whole Ravenshowing emotionthings explode plot point? (furtive glance)