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Chapter twenty

Angela and Draco

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The sealed envelope with her name on it was really attached to the back side of a painting called ´The Salem Scene´. There were three flaming bonfires on it, throwing mad yellow-red flashes onto the darkened landscape, with some people in old-fashioned clothing gathered around. Angela shook with revulsion as she looked at it properly for the first time in the entire time the painting had been hanging on that wall. She did not understand just why anyone would choose it for decorative purpose.

She quickly grabbed the envelope and limped out of her mother's room, anxiously not letting her eyes fall on the unmade bed or pile of scattered things in the open dresser. As her ankle was screaming louder and louder at her in protest, she went downstairs again, where she took two painkiller pills and washed them down with water. Then she headed into the living room. With her wand, she pulled back the heavy curtains and lit a fire in the fireplace, which always had a soothing effect on her.

With a sigh, Angela sat down in one of the closest armchairs, where the glow of the flames fell and almost absent-mindedly stared at the envelope in her hands.

She had no idea why she was in such a hurry, because now that she had seen it with her own eyes, she did not want to open and read her mother's letter. She still had a vivid image of her face as she was dying right in front of her...

Tears began to well up in her eyes. Forcefully, she suppressed them; she did not want to cry again. When she saw her name written on the front of the envelope in her mother's slender, elegant handwriting, her stomach clenched with a black conscience that made her think she was going to throw up, but in the end, she kept the pills which she had just swallowed inside.

She was beginning to be terribly afraid of what she might learn from the letter, but her reason took control of her body. Tearing the envelope open, she pulled out two folded, densely written sheets of parchment with trembling hands, leaned closer to the fire, spread them out, and took a deep breath before she started to read…

Dear Angela,

if you're reading this, I'm probably dead already. I am not sure when exactly it is going to happen, but I know that the day when you will cause my end will come. Do not blame yourself. It is mainly my fault that things have turned out so badly.

Although we never talked about it, I know that you inherited certain abilities from one of our ancestors. My sister told me about your prophetic dreams a long time ago, when she was not sick yet. During the years I spent in Europe, I kept in touch with her, mainly because of you. When I did not have you with me and did not see how you are growing up, I wanted to know all I could about you at least. But that doesn't excuse me, I know.

I had assumed that I could not do this kind of Seer stuff, but Merlin, I was wrong. Recently, I started having dreams about the death of various people, which then came true. The last one was about my own death and this one is repeating itself... The closer your initiation gets, the worse I feel about that dream. It was only just before I started writing this letter that I was able to accept that it would come true just like the others did.

Before I die, I decided to write down everything you should know, but I never told you. You probably cannot believe that I suddenly changed my mind like this, but... I have my reasons. Before you read on, know that every word is true. After you finish reading, this letter will burn itself – it is not for anyone´s else eyes.

I know that I was not an exemplary mother to you, but once you are my daughter and I love you the way you are. I suspected that you would not be thrilled when I reappeared after so many years and you had every right to be upset. I just did not know that my sister brought you up somewhat differently than I thought. She concealed it from me. Both Marion and I were brought up to believe that Lord Voldemort was the only right path in life, so I expected you to share the same opinion. When I suggested it to you back then, I figured that entering the service of the Dark Lord was against your will, but at that moment and even now, I consider it a sullen resistance to the will of a mother who only wants the best for you.

"Typical," Angela breathed out, half annoyed, half unhappy, as new tears welled up in her eyes. "A hypocrite beyond the grave, right?"

But I learned about eight months ago that you yourself made your life incredibly complicated. It was not long after the Lord publicly announced me to all Death Eaters, when Severus Snape came to our house, which I was temporarily occupying at the time. What he came to tell me instantly overcame my surprise at his sudden visit with shock and disbelief. He said that you are only feigning allegiance to the Dark Lord and in real; you are on the side of that old fool Dumbledore and want to join the Order of the Phoenix.

"Snape… That bastard," Angela gasped.

She quickly put down the first described parchment and continued with the next one.

I could not believe it, I wanted to laugh in his face, but he was not lying. I myself have observed for a long time how nervous and absent-minded you are. I knew that something is happening to you. But not even in my dreams I would imagine that you are doing something so dangerous... It still amazes me. How can you risk your life so recklessly?

Of course, Snape was on to something, when he did not go directly to the Lord, but to me instead. I was angry, but also worried about you. He started blackmailing me. He could count on the fact that I would never give my own daughter away and condemn her to death. He made great use of it. Under the threat of mercilessly betraying you, I found myself completely in his hands. Very soon, I recognized what a scumbag and disgusting pig he was…

I did everything he wanted me to do, and you must have realized that it was not making coffee. That was why I used to be away for so long and often. He absolutely disgusted me and before long, I really had enough, but I could not stop. All this time, I was tormented by fear for you, that one day you would reveal yourself and I would lose my only child. So remember, I bought your safety and life with endless moments spent in his company.

Angela was furious at what that son of a bitch had done to her mother, but at the same time, she was wiping streams of tears from her cheeks.

"You just want me to feel guilty at all costs, don't you, Mum?" she pointed out extremely bitterly to the silence of the room. "To pity you, to admire you for everything you've done for me…"

She wanted to tear up that disgusting letter that was tearing her from inside out, but she could not stop reading now.

If you are still taking risks like this, stop now before it is too late! You have two options – to betray the Order or our Lord. And you certainly know what I consider a better choice. To be on the side of the Dark Lord, boundlessly and devotedly, is the best and safest thing you can do. Otherwise, you will die or hide and run for the rest of your life.

Also, stay as far away from Snape as possible. I believe he is capable of blackmailing you too, so do not give him a reason to do so!

I also promised you that I would tell you the name of your father when you have the Dark Mark on your arm. If that happens, I will change this letter, but I doubt it…

Your father was Sirius Black. You could read about him in the Daily Prophet recently. I am sorry you could not get to know him, especially now when I already know he was innocent. I loved him more than anything back then... He was a great man, honest and devoted. I deeply regret not freeing him from Azkaban when I had the chance. Instead, I cowardly ran away not only from him, but also from you, and I will blame myself for it until I die.

Before they arrested him for that alleged murder of Peter Pettigrew, he was constantly walking around the house and wanted to see you at all costs. I agreed to one meeting when Marion was not at home. When I let him take you to his arms, he was so happy. I even had the feeling that he loved you much more than I did... If I had not given myself to the Dark Lord, everything could have been different and you would have grown up as his adored daughter.

Instead, I made him promise that he would never try to visit or contact you. I threatened to leave forever with you. Therefore, he made me an Unbreakable Vow. I am sure you understand what that meant.

You should also know that your rightful surname is Rosier Black. We were secretly married, and you have the right to bear his name, even though it probably will not be possible in the near future. In my nightstand drawer, there is our marriage certificate, so take it for proof if needed.

Angela, unlike me, you radically distinguish between good and evil, but there is not only one or the other, just as it is not only black and white. The world is full of shades of grey and we have to live in it and survive as long as possible.

I repeat, do not blame yourself for what happened. Regrets will not help you anymore. I know this from my own experience.

Take care, my only daughter.

Your loving

Mother Mary

Angela stared speechlessly at her mother's signature, completely oblivious to the fact that the letter had already caught fire. She flinched only when the flames licked her fingers. Blankly, she watched as the burning letter fell to the ground, charred pieces falling off along the way. In a moment, there was nothing but ashes on the rug in front of the fireplace.

Tears streamed down her cheeks and she let them fall on her pants where they formed dark stains.

Her Dad… Sirius… He had only seen her once and she could not even remember it. So, this was why he did not contact her after he escaped from Azkaban – the Vow would have killed him if he did.

Everything could have been completely different if it were not for that lunatic Voldemort. Her parents would live and she could be living happily with them.

She had always thought that her mother was a hypocritical and selfish person, and this farewell letter partially confirmed it to her, but on the other hand… Everything Mum had done for her secretly… She could not even believe it. And she said nothing to her, nothing at all!

And the worst of all – that bastard! The slimy professor was going to pay for everything!

Angela had never loved Snape, but the moment she found out that he had ruined the rest of her mother's life, she began to hate him with all her heart.

She jumped out of the armchair. She wanted to scream aloud, but instead she was just taking short, shaky breaths, as if she could not even speak.

That son of a bitch! How could he do that? He took full advantage of what he knew about me! That's why he treated me so scornfully and threw his knowing sneers everywhere I went!

The vase of dried flowers on the table by the window unexpectedly shattered into a thousand pieces—when Angela could not scream out her pain, her emotions had to come out in a different way. Shards fell apart and flowers scattered limply on the floor. Two of the flying shards even scratched her hand, but she hardly noticed.

She was breathing heavily, looking at the mess by the window. She suddenly felt terribly tired. She did not even go for a sleeping pill; she just lay down on the couch, even though she felt she would not be able to fall asleep for a long time.

She was staring at the ceiling with tons of dark thoughts running through her head. She felt as if some nasty Dementor had just sucked her dry. There was nothing good left in her – only grief, despair, remorse and rage.

Finally, she burst into uncontrollable sobs and did not stop until she fell asleep from sheer exhaustion.

/

Angela shifted uneasily on the uneven sofa, where she spent the not-so-comfortable rest of the night. There was a dull ache behind her neck as she fell fast asleep after midnight without even undressing. She only took off her shoes and she did not even know when.

Through the open window, birdsong, the rustle of tree leaves and the fresh morning air reached her from the garden. Although she still felt tired and her ankle was starting to tingle with pain, she was warm and comfortable under the soft blanket.

Wait, wait, Angela thought, still half-asleep. An open window? A blanket? As far as she could remember, she had nothing to do with either.

Almost completely awakened now and with her eyes still closed, she sensed the presence of someone else in the room. Her heart started beating a little faster. She took a deep breath and slowly opened her eyes.

At first, the rays of the sun hit her, so she could hardly see anything, but then she shifted a little on the couch and made out a figure sitting in the armchair across from her.

"Good morning," Draco Malfoy, dressed in a black shirt that emphasized the disproportionate pallor of his face, said coldly.

Angela froze and shot a glance at the table in front of her where she had placed her wand before going to sleep, even though she knew it would not be there anymore.

"Futile effort," Draco spoke again, still in the same detached tone, tapping his own wand on the jacket he had draped over the back of his seat. "It's safely here, so you don't think of anything stupid."

She stared at him wordlessly for a moment, and then slowly sat up. The blanket curled down from her shoulders and she brushed her dishevelled hair back from her face.

"How did you get inside?" she asked quietly.

"Through the door," Draco replied cynically.

"I locked myself down. Securely…"

"Yet apparently not so reliably."

Angela glanced around the room, listening for any voices from the hallway or upstairs, while Draco watched her.

"Are you looking for someone?" he asked questioningly. "Can't you believe I came alone?"

Frowning a little, she pulled her knees together and wrapped both arms around them.

"How did you know where I would be?" she wondered with her throat tight.

"I know you," Draco answered simply.

"Did Voldemort send you to find me?"

"Yes."

She took a shaky breath: "…Are you supposed to bring me to him then?"

Draco was silent this time. Angela watched him intently and realized she did not even need his answer.

"You didn't just come to wish me a good morning and make me an object of your amusement, did you?"

"No. I've come to ask you something," Draco finally replied, slowly stood up and walked over to the open window.

"About what?" Angela raised her eyebrows suspiciously.

Draco stared absently outside for a moment before turning to her.

"What's it like to kill your own mother?" he asked in a strange voice.

Angela glared at him and did not answer. The air in the living room thickened noticeably. Draco smiled cruelly.

"Was it really necessary to burn all the bridges behind you?" he continued scathingly, his words cutting into Angela like daggers. "You forgot about something in that case, didn't you? About me! I'm still your fiancé, remember? Did you want to get rid of me just as you got rid of her?"

"Please, stop it!" Angela blurted out shakily. "You know nothing about it!"

"That I don't know anything about it? Allow me to laugh," Draco snorted. "It was enough for me to see your mother hanging on the wall like a fly on a pin!"

Angela jumped off the couch to her feet, the sharp pain appearing in her ankle again. "Shut up, Draco!" she almost screamed, unable to control herself under the re-awakened flood of remorse and grief.

"What did your lover say to that?" he asked with a smirk, ignoring her shouting. "How did he react to the fact that you are a murderer?"

"Did you come to torture me? I hope you´re enjoying yourself then!" Angela raised her voice uncontrollably. "You have no idea what it's like to be blamed for mother's death! I can still see her dying face! I will never get rid of remorse from what I did! You were not there, so stop judging me! What do you really want from me?"

"Are you done yet?" Draco asked icily. Her emotional performance did not move him even a bit. Angela gritted her teeth to keep herself from screaming again.

"Okay. So… What do I want from you?" he repeated her question and stepped back to her. "Your right hand."

Angela's eyes widened at him, her anger replaced by terror. "What?" she let out a shaky exhale.

Draco smirked as if he knew exactly what was going through her mind.

"Don't worry; I'm not such a nut. Stretch out your right hand," he replied calmly, and in the meantime, he himself switched his wand to his left.

She hesitated for a moment, but then held it out in front of her over the table, her engagement ring glinting on her ring finger. Draco crossed his right arm above hers so that they were almost touching. He placed his wand against the back of his hand.

"I, Draco Malfoy…" he began with complete composure, glancing defiantly at Angela, who was still staring at him in shock. "What's up? You know what to do, don't you?"

"I, Angela Rosier…" Angela voiced as she finally realized what he wanted to do.

A beam of yellow-green light began to flow from Draco's wand, enveloping their hands into one shining ball.

"Voluntarily and of my own free will…" Draco continued.

"Voluntarily and of my own free will…" Angela repeated.

"…decided to call off engagement to Angela Rosier."

"…decided to break off engagement to Draco Malfoy."

"I hereby waive all rights and obligations arising from our engagement..."

"And I'm taking back the Malfoy House ring…"

"And I'm returning the Malfoy House ring…"

"Which was a symbol of our promise."

Then they both uttered the incantation at once: "In veritas et orbis nomine."

Draco raised his wand and the light disappeared. Angela looked at her hand in disbelief and tentatively tried to pull the coiled snake off her finger. It slid smoothly into her palm and Draco immediately scooped it up.

"This was a priority task from my father," he continued with a wicked smile and Angela sat back down on the sofa stiffly. "You certainly understand why," he added.

Angela thought that they must have already told Voldemort about her and Harry, but she did not have the courage to ask Draco about it.

"Why do you look so down?" he asked teasingly. "You should be happy. This is what you wanted all along."

"What's your next task?" she asked quietly instead of answering.

Draco sat back down as well. "Well, you were right. I'm supposed to bring you to the Lord," he replied coldly.

"Then why didn't you do it already?" she continued with defeated questions.

Draco paused for a moment, fiddling with the ring in his hand before answering: "Because I don't want to. And I won't."

Angela stared at him dumbfounded for a moment. "Why?" she asked in a weak voice.

"Until yesterday, I did care about you, Rosier. A lot," he looked in her eyes. "Some of that affection remained somewhere in me. I will not betray you. I'm not like you," he stated quietly, and Angela began to feel even guiltier.

"You're going to be in trouble," she mumbled, holding back the tears with all her might.

"That's my concern. Why should you care," snapped Draco.

"But I do," she countered.

He stared at Angela for a long moment without a word. Then, he stood up and picked up his jacket.

"You shouldn't stay here. For now, I'm the only one looking for you, because I know you the most and other Death Eaters have other things to worry about, but it won't stay that way for long."

Angela nodded: "I know. I messed it up myself," she breathed out unhappily so that he almost did not hear it.

Draco pulled her wand from his jacket, tossed it onto the armchair he had been sitting on, and turned to leave.

"Draco?" she said hesitantly as soon as his back was facing her. "Don't you want to reconsider it? After all, you still have a choice..."

Draco stood there motionless. "No," he hissed through the gritted teeth.

"But… This will make us stand against each other once and for all," Angela sighed, not really wanting to let their relation end up that way.

Draco turned sharply. His mild, almost friendly expression that had been on his face a moment ago was gone. All she could see in his eyes now was anger.

"You were the first one to stab the dagger into my back!" he barked harshly.

Angela shivered and pressed her lips together. She could feel both her hands and knees shaking. He was right…

"And even if I wanted to, which is utter nonsense," Draco continued laboriously, "I can't anyway."

He rolled up the left sleeve of his shirt and Angela gasped. A fresh Dark Mark glowed on Draco's forearm. Its blackness stung her eyes and sent chills down her spine. Draco watched Angela's surprise with an awful grin.

"Thanks to your treachery, the Lord decided to hasten everything. There was no point in waiting any longer and he needed to be sure about me. The initiation took place during the night," stated Draco and rolled his sleeve down again. "And just so you know – Claire and I won't go to school anymore."

Angela blinked hard to hold back her tears and rubbed her hands in embarrassment. She did not know what to say at all. If she had not seen it with her own eyes, she probably would not have believed it. Draco put on his jacket and took one last look at her.

"And remember, the next time we see each other, I won't just let you go so easily," he warned her. "Next time, we'll be mortal enemies!"

Angela flinched as if he had hit her. Then Draco turned sharply so that she could not see his battle with emotions trying to take over him. He quickly walked to the door and grabbed the handle.

"I'm sorry," Angela choked out hoarsely. "I´m so sorry, Draco…"

He chuckled bitterly, still with his back turned to her. "You have nothing to be sorry for. You just did what you have always wanted to do."

Then Draco stepped out into the hallway and the door slammed shut behind him.

Angela curled up in a ball on the sofa, letting tears of regret and helplessness flow freely down her cheeks now. She was well aware that black conscience would probably torment her until the end of her life. Not only because of her mother, but also because of Draco, in whom she had temporarily found her soul mate.