Why Kenshin's haori is pink
(Why Inuyasha's kimono is pink)
By: Rubi A.K.A. "Phi-Dono"
(WIKIP By: PinkTigerLilly)
this might look familiar if you've read PinkTigerLilly's, Why Inuyasha's kimono is pink! it's a parody of it. if you know the IY series, check hers out! anyway, this is my first one-shot, so please be merciful and keep that in mind. they might be OOC, gomen ne! anywho, enjoy minna-san! and thx for reading it! Translations will be at the bottom. and so will that review button ;) please leave a nice lil review for sessha on the way out! arigatou, ja ne!
Disclaimer: (- the "i'm too sexy" song plays in the back and Phi sings along -) i, don't own the Rurouni. franchise cause i'm so cheap. no yen, please don't sue. (- breaks into a new song -) domo arigatou, mr (and miss) reviewers! (- dances like a mecha (robot) -) DOMO domo DOMO! (- sweatdrop -)
"talking"
'thinking'
(- occasional authoress note -)
actions in the fic
/emphasized/
X: One-shot )
It all started one very peculiar morning for the RK-gumi. A very hung-over morning for Sano, a very pissed off morning for Kaoru, a very /clean/ morning for Yahiko, and a very tired morning for non-other than our very own Rurouni-chan.
Kaoru wiped the sweat off her face with the hand towel that rested on her shoulder, taking another glance at Kenshin's door. She sighed, finding that it was still closed. She finished off the 100 strikes she was working on, then set her bokken on the dojo's porch. Kaoru splashed some water on her face from a bucket she had put on the floor, but her gaze snapped up -hope gleaming in her eyes- when she heard a low groan. Her smile faltered when she realized it was only the ex-gangster that seemed to be in a horrible mood by the way he looked. His usually tan skin was pale and he had red eyes with bags under them.
"You shouldn't have drunk so much sake yesterday," Kaoru said, placing a hand on her hip, the other clenching the towel.
"Uhhhhhg..." was Sanosuke's only response. He lifted a hand to his temple, gently massaging it.
"Just because Tae-san and Tsubame-chan offered us free admission to the party they were throwing for their twenty-eighth anniversary at the Akabeko, doesn't mean you had to drink all the sake you could," she scolded. "You don't pay your bills anyway."
"I had to...fill up on something," Sano informed, pausing due to the throbbing headache he had.
"But there was plenty of food..." Kaoru mumbled, tilting her head in confusion.
"Yeah but...Yahiko told me you were helping out in the kitchen. I can't eat your cooking or else I'd wind up with something worse than a hangover," he said, slightly chuckling at his own joke.
Kaoru's eye twitched.
"I thought you had a hangover..." she muttered through gritted teeth.
"I do, but I went to see Kitsune this morning, after I got my head outta the toilet. She made me drink this pain killing herbal medicine or some shit like that. It tasted horrible! Ech!" He pulled a face at the memory of the bitter tea. "Anyway, the good news is that I'll be all right within a few hours."
"That /is/ good news. It means you can still work. Now get to it! You have a lot of chores to get done!"
Sano gapped.
"Y-you can't be serious Jou-chan!"
"Of course I am! Since Kenshin's too worn out to do anything, you'll be doing his work. First up is the laundry."
Kaoru jabbed her thumb behind, the wash basket and laundry materials lie behind her a few feet away. The small pile of unwashed clothes that were placed near the bucket seemed too ominous for poor Sanosuke.
He started to back away, stuttering something about how he couldn't handle the pressure, turning his back and running. He sure didn't get far by the time Kaoru and that right arm of hers threw the wooden sword, which just so happened to connect with the back of the Rooster boy's head. Soon enough, Sano was kneeling over the basin, suds up to his elbows while the constant tapping of Kaoru's foot kept him wondering when she was gonna leave.
"Ya know, Kenshin wouldn't even be so tired if you hadn't caused that big mess in the kitchen..." Sano said, holding his breath when Yahiko's underwear came up next to wash.
"That wasn't my fault! How was I supposed to know miso soup grew explosive if you left it over the fire too long!" Kaoru objected in her defense, blushing with embarrassment.
"Well, a /good cook/ is supposed to know that. Anyway, I feel sorry for Kenshin. He had to clean up the mess /you/ made. I stayed up all night 'cause of my damned stomach, and even then I still didn't see him come home. The job musta took him 'til dawn to finish up."
Kaoru's shoulders sank as she grew even more worried about Kenshin, the anger she once had now subsided.
Sano noticed that the tapping of Kaoru's foot had stopped. He took a glance behind him and realized she was still there.
'Kuso!' he thought. 'When is she gonna take a hike? I swear, if I could just get a few hours of sleep-'
But Sano's train of thought was broken by a certain eleven year-old's loud mouth.
"Oi! Busu! I finished cleaning all the floors! What now?" Yahiko shouted, placing his hands on his hips, glaring at Kaoru for he knew to expect more work from a slave driver like her.
"What...did...you...say?" Kaoru growled, no longing blushing from embarrassment, but flushed from anger; her hand automatically reaching out for her bokken.
Within moments, Sano's dark brown eyes were following Yahiko and Kaoru's routine chase. As they flew by him, he could hear Yahiko making crud comments to Kaoru and he could also hear the things Kaoru was saying she would do once she caught him. Only when he looked down into the bucket to continue his work, did he notice the floating box of now empty bleach in the water.
Now Sano, who knew as much as a rooster when it came to washing clothes, decided that /maybe/ that was a bad thing... While thinking about what to do in this situation, Kaoru's shadow came into view. Not only was it the young Kamiya Kasshin-Ryuu instructor, but she held her squirming student by the collar.
"What are you doing, Sanosuke?" she asked, glaring down at the slightly older man.
"Calm down Jou-chan. The bleach just fell and I was trying to think of a way-"
"Excuses excuses! Get back to work Sanosuke or I'll have you sleep outside tonight," she warned, just thinking the bleach fell on the ground and that it was nothing to make a big deal out of. Dirty clothes can survive without bleach until she bought more.
As Sano began to scrub -muttering curses all the while doing so, Kaoru turned her attention to the gaki in her grasp.
"As for you, Yahik-"
However, Kaoru was cut off from her sentence when Yahiko decided to stomp on her foot and make a run for it. A moment or two after Kaoru gathered herself, she already began the chase for Yahiko again.
"Wait 'til I catch you, you little pain in the ass! You'll be lunch meat for the neighbor's dog!"
X: Later... )
Sanosuke stopped in mid-hang when Megumi called him to let him know lunch was ready.
"Alright! I'm starving!" he said, placing one of Kaoru's white gi's back into the basin that now held all the clean clothes. He gave the basket a quick glance before running into the dojo's kitchen. He still had about half a basket left to hang up, but he'd take care of that after lunch.
X: Elsewhere... )
Sleepy violet eyes fluttered open as the cannon for the noon bang shot off, awakening the ex-Battousai.
Kenshin sat up in his futon, blinking his tired eyes. He was so drained of ki, he felt like he was not only something the neko dragged in, but tried to bury too. All he wanted to do was rest, but it was noon already, which meant he slept way past the original time he was used to getting up.
'Sessha hopes Kaoru-dono isn't too mad at this one,' he thought, forcing himself up and stretching. He moseyed on over to his closet and dressed in a white gi and hakama. Slipping on a pair of navy blue tabi's, he stepped into his soft bamboo sandals and wiggled his toes until they fit just right. He went to reach for his usual crimson haori, but noticed it was missing. Then he suddenly remembered that he laid his filthy clothes near the wash basin, and that they were dirty because he had helped Tae-san and Tsubame-chan clean up after Kaoru-dono's mess. Ah yes, he remembered now. The sleepiness was just a factor that kept his mind too tired to remember anything right now. But he would be fine within a matter of minutes, that he would.
Combing his fingers through his hair quickly, Kenshin secured his usual low ponytail with an old blue tie, sliding his shoji open and wincing as the bright sunlight hit his eyes. His sight adjusted in no time and he made his way over to the wash basin. He noticed that someone had already done the laundry. Kenshin felt grateful that it was one less thing he'd have to worry about. He started pinning up the clothes on the clothes line, and had hung up most of them. The only article of clothing left a was at the very bottom of the wash basket - a pink haori. A pink one? He was expecting his red one. Kenshin picked up the unfamiliar cloth and thought it was probably Kaoru's. But it seemed a little too big to fit her... He examined the inside of the collar and found his name sewn in. Demo... Only his /red/ haori had his name sewn in like this...
The Baka Rurouni looked around, thinking maybe his red haori had been hung up already. But iie, everything was white. Suddenly, his keen eyes spotted a soggy and empty box of bleach at the bottom of the wash bucket. Kenshin's mind, still sleep deprived, was slowly putting the pieces of the puzzle together.
An empty box of bleach...
His red haori was missing...
A new pink haori was found...
It has his name sewn in it...
Just like his red hao-
"OROOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
X: Meanwhile... )
Kaoru looked up -just like the other three people in the room did- when they heard the loud declaration of their favorite Rurouni. Yahiko took this time to snatch the rice ball out of Kaoru's hand that they had been fighting over beforehand, and shoved it down his throat.
"Kenshin's awake!" Kaoru chimed, her hands clasped together in joy and her eyes filled with dreamy stars.
"And by the sounds of it, not too happy," Sano muttered around a mouthful of ohagi.
"Kenshin!" the young instructor squealed, jumping up and bouncing outside, the others following close behind her.
When they reached the courtyard, they found Kenshin standing before the wash basket and holding a pink haori, with his eyes consumed by swirls. As they came closer, they realized he was in a shocked state, constantly murmuring "Orororororororororororororororo..." over and over again.
"Kenshin... What's wrong?" came Kaoru's worried voice.
The swirling and the Oro's stopped, and sad, confused violet eyes met her sapphire ones.
"Anu..." he murmured, at a loss for words.
Who would /do/ this to his favorite piece of clothing? Battousai started to make a few suggestions, since the Rurouni was /obviously/ too stupid to do anything on his own... (- bold will be Battousai's thoughts in Kenshin's head, ok -)
Jin-eh?
No. Stick a fork in him, he's done.
Shishio?
No. Self-combobulated himself... Like S'mores...
Saitou?
...Maybe... Alive. Alive and willing I bet... Ass-clown...
Yutaro-dono!
I swear, I think the kid has a thing for me... The fruit cake...
However, Kenshin (as a whole) ruled out all of the above when he heard the fighter-for-hire begin to talk.
"I see you found yer new pick haori Kenshin," Sano suddenly piped in, hands shoved in his pockets; a fish bone sticking out between his lips.
"Oro?" Kenshin asked.
"What are you talking about you big Chicken head?" Megumi asked, glaring at the younger man."What did you do to Ken-san's haori?"
"Sanosuke..."
The Rooster and the Fox looked at the Raccoon when they heard the venom in her voice.
"If you did anything to Kenshin's clothes, then you had better go see Megumi at her clinic as fast as you can about those stitches."
"Stitches?" he echoed. "What stitches?"
"The stitches I'm about to give you if you messed up Kenshin's clothes!"
"Actually Jou-chan!" Sanosuke said as he ducked behind Megumi for safety. "It was /you/ who turned his haori pink."
"Nani?" Kaoru asked, already grabbing her bokken.
"Remember when you and Yahiko were fighting this morning?" At her tentative nod, he went on. "Well, when you guys ran past me, you knocked over the box of bleach into the tub. I was gonna ask you what to do, but you yelled at me..."
Sano pouted, as though he were really hurt by the way she scolded him before. Kaoru stood there with a blank expression on her face, as did everyone else besides Sanosuke. Slowly, Kaoru glanced at Kenshin from the corner of her eye and a wave of guilt washed over her.
"So it turns out Busu is the one tryin' ta make Kenshin look gay," Yahiko announced after a few seconds of awkward silence.
Kaoru stammered for a moment while blush crept up to her face from a mixture of embarrassment, guilt, and anger. At Yahiko's rather.../bold/ statement, Kenshin's eyes bulged out while Sanosuke laughed his ass off, and it was all Megumi to keep the "Ohohohohoho's" coming.
"It's not like! I didn't /mean/ to! I just!"
Kaoru was at a loss for words, which only caused Yahiko to join in the laughter too. Kenshin opened his mouth to settle his friends down, but also found himself speechless. Looking down at the so-called "new" haori in his hands, Kenshin sighed. He didn't own that many haori's (since he /is/ just a red-haired bum) and since this one is (or /was/) his favorite, he just knew of the jokes that would come his way for wearing pink. Battousai was /already/ taunting him...
"So are you going to start telling Kaoru to hold your purse for you before you go into battle now? Or maybe when you get home, you'll have a strong man like Sagara to rub your aching feet for you, since you've been in pumps all day!"
...Then again, he /could/ just say it was magenta... (- too bad Inu didn't think of that... poor hanyou... -)
As Kenshin looked up, he found Kaoru beating the fish out of Sano for not telling her sooner, and he heard her shout for Yahiko's death warrant too, which caused the young boy to gulp in fear. Megumi, who took this time to use her kitsune abilities, moseyed on over to the Baka Rurouni and while he was distracted watching Kaoru, made her way behind him and hugged his small frame to her body, which somehow automatically drew Kaoru's attention.
"Oro!" Kenshin said, feeling the doctor behind himself.
"To be honest, Ken-san, I think you look /sexy/ in pink..." she purred in his ear, which only made the ever-infamous swirls appear again. "You know what they say... It takes a /real/ man to wear pink /and/ look good in it..."
"Megumi-san! What do you think you're doing!" Kaoru's extremely pissed off voice rang through the air.
"Isn't is obvious, Tanuki? Ken-san and I are having an /adult/ conversation. Ohohohohohohohohohohohoho!"
And just like that, the fox ears popped up.
"Kitsune..." Sano called out to the doctor in a strained voice, bleeding in places that weren't humanly possible...
"GET... OUT..." Kaoru suddenly demanded. No, a demon suddenly demanded. Kaoru had to be possessed by a demon to sound and look /that/ diabolical...
"Alright baka," Megumi said, talking to the bird brain, leaving Kenshin and picking up Sanosuke instead.
So she left with Sano, only because he needed to be treated, not because she was afraid of Kaoru... Certainly not...
By Yahiko's perspective, Kaoru was majorly pissed and had to take it out on someone and that someone was definitely NOT him!
"Off to see Tsubame, see ya!" he said, scurrying off in such a hurry, ya think he learned Mitsurugi over night.
So that left Kenshin and Kaoru all to their lonesome.
Kaoru -anger now gone- slowly turned around to face Kenshin, who watched her with large, clueless amethyst eyes.
"Gomen nasai Kenshin..." Kaoru murmured, the guilt on her conscience felt like a ton.
Kenshin gazed at her and then sighed for the hundredth time that day. Wearing a "magenta" haori couldn't be /that/ bad. Plus, it might help him look softer - for his Rurouni persona.
"It's all right, Kaoru-dono. Sessha doesn't mind it much, and there's little to be done about it."
"Hai, demo, Kenshin..."
Kenshin watched as she wrung her hands together nervously, and was now walking over to her, standing directly a few inches before her. When she began to speak again, he smiled softly at her stubbornness to please him and shifted the haori to rest in one hand. With one arm now free, he gathered Kaoru in his embrace and hugged her firmly. Kaoru, mochiron, was surprised to say the least.
"This one has forgiven you, so please, forgive yourself now Kaoru-dono..."
A moment later, Kenshin released the blushing teenager and shrugged on his new/magenta/ haori.
"Now that that's settled, I think I'll go wash the dishes now."
The Rurouni left the courtyard, leaving Kaoru to her thoughts. She stood there unmoving for a minute or two, trying to recall what had just happened.
'Lets see. Worried about Kenshin. Sano doing laundry. Gave Yahiko a beat down. Megumi came over for lunch. Kenshin woke up, found pink haori. I messed it up. They leave. He hugs me. Yeah, that sounds about right... THEN WHY DOESN'T IT MAKE ANY SENSE!'
She sighed, giving up totally on the matter. She wasn't exactly sure about what had happened, but she /was/ sure of one thing.
Despite being a tomboy, her new favorite color was pink.
Smiling brightly now, Kaoru skipped back inside the dojo with new enthusiasm, strolling in the kitchen to find the pink-wearing Rurouni kneeling down beside a large tub and cleaning the dishes. Her smiled softened as she watched his back, his ponytail gliding across it every time he went to retrieve a new dish. She'd have to get a pink hair ribbon at the market tomorrow. As for right now, she walked to the bathhouse and sat there patiently, until her Rurouni-chan was ready to fix her a bath.
X: Owari! )
Japanese translations: in order of appearance (not really...):
Haori - jacket thingy/outer shirt (- I'M NOT SURE HOW TO SAY IT, OK-)
Kimono - a traditional Japanese dress. yes, DRESS! it's what the women wear. and haori, gi, and hakama is what Inu wears.
-Dono - more respectful than san; today would be used as 'Milord so-and-so' (- though i don't use it like that. i'm not /that/ egotistical... -) As used by Kenshin, it indicates both respect and humility.
Gomen ne - i'm sorry (in a cute way or informally)
Minna-san - everyone, everybody
Sessha - this unworthy one
Arigatou - thanks, thank you
Ja ne - see ya later, bye for now
Yen - Japanese money
Domo arigatou - thank you very much, thanks a lot
Gumi - group
Rurouni - wanderer, vagabond
-Chan - can be used as diminutive (i.e.: with a small child - like "Little Yahiko" or "Little Shippou"), or with those who are grown, to indicate affection ("My dear...")
Bokken - kendo ("swords-arts") weapon made of wood; also known as "bokutou"
Dojo - training hall (- i use it referring to the entire house in general -)
Sake - Japanese alcohol (- made of rice, rice water or something like that, i think... -)
-San - Mr, Miss, Ms, Mrs
Kitsune - fox (referring to Megumi)
Jou-chan - when Sano uses it with Kaoru, it means "Little Missy." it also means babe or baby
Kuso - all purpose curse word; damn
Oi - hey
Busu - old hag, ugly girl
Kamiya Kasshin-Ryuu - sword-arts or kenjutstu school established by Kaoru's father, who rejected the ethnics of satsujin-ken for kentsujin-ken.
X: Ryuu - meaning 'style' i think, not sure though. but it is behind Hiten Mitsurugi-RYUU and Kamiya Kasshin-RYUU, so there's my assumption
X: Kenjutsu - the art of fencing; sword arts; kendo
X: Satsujin-ken - "sword that gives death"; a style of swordsmanship rejected by Kaoru's father
X: Kentsujin-ken - "sword that gives life"; the sword-arts style developed over ten years by Kaoru's father and founding principle of Kamiya Kasshin-Ryuu
Gaki - brat
Noon Bang - a cannon fired at noon to tell the time
Battousai - man slayer, murderer
Ki - energy
Neko - cat
Gi - the shirt underneath the haori
Hakama - the very loose pants
Tabi - split toed socks
Shoji - rice paper doors
Demo - but
Baka - stupid, idiot, silly
Oro - huh/wha?
Ohagi - food. something to do with rice balls and bean jam
Anu - uh, um, uhm (- though it's spelled 'ano,' i like to use it with a u -)
Combobulated - not a real word. at least, to my knowledge... in other words, i made it up
Tanuki - raccoon (referring to Kaoru)
Gomen nasai - i'm very sorry
Mochiron - of course
Owari - the end
XxX
please review! i'd like that very much! if you leave me a sentence complimenting me on my work, then that would definitely make my day! thx everyone for reading this and i hope you enjoyed it! ja ne!
XxX
Phi-Dono rox