Disclaimer: Seeing as how I killed off Sate, Curtis, and Jacob, the only original characters I have left are Kay and Paige. It's nice to cut that list down a little bit. :)
Black Ice
By Be Boring
Chapter 17: Family Bonding
Logan sat on the edge of his bed, rocking Paige gently as he tried to convince her to fall back asleep. It had been rather unnerving to come home and find Paige completely alone, with the exception of White in the basement. He couldn't believe everyone had left her alone, especially Ben, who had practically adopted the little girl. At least she hadn't been aware of her lack of company, she had been sound asleep when he came home. It wasn't much longer after that when everyone came home in one giant herd. Ben had strode past with a completely blood-soaked rag pressed firmly against his temple, Jondy had followed right behind him, rubbing her back gingerly as she walked. Then Max and Brin carried in Kay, who looked considerably more tattered than she had been the last time he had seen her, followed by Zack and Alec, who were in a terrible mood because they had been forced to ride together on Alec's motorcycle. While Ben flopped out in the cluttered office and Kay was settled in the guest room with the door locked so the pheromones couldn't inadvertently attract any of the guys inside, Jondy filled him in on everything that had happened while he was gone. By the time it was over, however, he had come to a very happy conclusion. He was almost sure that White had been dealing with the head of the cult when he was trying to get back into their good graces, and he strongly suspected that their leader had been in the college when it was blown up. Now not only were Kay's eggs gone, but so was the High Priest. What no one really knew, however, was that the High Priest hadn't died in the explosion. He had taken a bullet in the forehead from Zack in the garage before he ever had the idea to bring in explosives.
Now everyone was just relaxing in their own way, which meant that Jondy and Alec had fallen asleep on the couch, Brin and Zack were on the front porch dozing, Ben was still in the office napping, and Max was sleeping on the bed behind him. He hadn't really seen her sleep for a long time, so he was relieved that she was finally catching up on it. This meant, however, that he was the only one left over to watch Paige. She wasn't very difficult, he had only had to change her diaper and feed her one time each. Now, though, she seemed to be in an odd state where she didn't want to gaze around at her surroundings like she usually enjoyed doing so much, but she also didn't want to go to sleep. She seemed perfectly content to just lie silently in his arms, staring into distant space as though she were pondering the mysteries of the world. She looked so serious that Logan could hardly believe he was looking at a young baby.
He stood up carefully, not wanting to wake Max, and walked quietly down the hall. He didn't really have a destination in mind, he merely felt the need to stretch his legs. Funny how that need had grown so much after Joshua's blood gave him back the use of his legs. He never used to enjoy walking mindlessly around, but now it was one of his favorite ways to think. As he passed by the door to the guest room, he glanced back down at Paige. Was it possible that she could sense her mother nearby? Was that why she was so quiet right now? Without warning, she let out a piercing cry that immediately woke everyone inside the house. Even Brin and Zack came in from outside to see what was upsetting her.
Max was the first to reach him, and she seemed to be thinking along the same lines as he was. She held out her arms to take Paige from him and unlocked the door. The only X5 male to move to the front of the group was Ben, although he was wincing from the sharp noises emitting from Paige. Jondy peered around him, then it occurred to her that she had never shared one crucial piece of information with everyone. "Max, you'll have to be careful handing Paige over to her, she can't see right now."
Max paused and turned to face her. "What do you mean she can't see?"
"I guess Sate slammed her head against something and it did something to her eyes, because at the moment she's blind. I don't think it will be permanent, especially with her DNA, but I doubt she's recovered in the past couple hours." With a slightly disconcerted look on her face, Max sat down on the edge of the bed. Amazingly, Kay still hadn't woken up yet, but it was only a matter of time. How could she possibly stay asleep with that racket?
Kay could hear the crying, but she couldn't seem to respond. She felt so completely drained that it seemed an incredible undertaking to open her eyes. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get her eyelids to budge. Dammit Kay, get up! Paige is right there, you can hear her, so why won't you move? For once that annoying little voice was pestering her to do something positive. Have you waited this long just to lie here and let her cry? That thought almost made her eyelids twitch, but it wasn't quite enough. Fine, I guess you really didn't want to see her that badly after all. You can always let Ben take care of her, after all, he's probably replaced you in her heart anyway. Now her eyelids definitely fluttered. She couldn't see anything other than the darkness that she had become accustomed to in such a short time, but it was still progress. You call that progress? That certainly wouldn't have protected her from Sate if he were here instead of the other X5s. Or maybe you wanted him to put her out of her misery before you had the chance to ruin her life? Finally, her eyes popped open. Well, 'pop' really wasn't the correct term, it didn't happen quite that fast, but it was the best she could manage. Had she been at normal strength, 'pop' would have been an understatement.
"Paige?" she mumbled quietly, wishing desperately that she could see so that she could see how much her daughter had grown in their time apart. She tried to brace her hands against the bed to push herself into a sitting position, but she simply didn't have to power to do it. Brin slid into the room and helped her up. As her sleek black hair brushed against Kay's face, the smell of her shampoo filled her nostrils. "Brin? Is that you?" She couldn't believe how dry and cracked her voice sounded, but now that she noticed it, she realized just how thirsty she was. That wasn't the foremost thing on her mind, however. With one hand still clutching Brin's arm, she reached out with her other hand in the direction that Paige's cries were coming from. Her fingers finally touched the baby blanket, and from there trailed up to run lightly over Paige's hair. It felt like there was much more of it than there had been the last time she'd been with her.
"Do you think you can hold her?" Max asked cautiously. "Don't say yes just because you want to, I want to make sure you're strong enough for this."
"Are you kidding?" Kay asked in disbelief. "Of course I'm strong enough for this." She removed her hand from Brin and held out both arms as Max gently placed Paige into them. As she finally pulled her daughter against her, immediately erasing her frantic cries, she whispered softly, "Do you mind if I have a little time alone with her?" A tear of sheer ecstasy slipped down her cheek as her daughter's familiar scent reached her and the warmth of her tiny body spread in her arms.
"Of course," Max replied, overwhelmed by the sight of the reunion. Despite the cuts and her current blindness, Kay had probably never had a more joyous and contented look on her face. Max had never seen her sister with that particular expression on her face during the entire time they knew each other. Everyone backed out of the doorway to give her room as she approached, but Ben stepped farther into the room. Max gave him a questioning look, but the pained gaze he was sending in Kay and Paige's direction was enough for her. She stepped past him and closed the door behind herself.
Ben had never been so confused in his life. He had wanted so badly to be angry with Kay, to make her feel horrible about what she had done, but at the same time he had never seen her look so happy and he simply didn't want to interrupt that. He sat down carefully in a chair across the room, never taking his eyes off Kay's face. Constantly telling himself that Kay wasn't the mothering type and that Paige would be better off without her had been his biggest source of comfort after he had discovered Paige's true identity, but even he had to admit that he would have to eat his words. She looked as loving right now as a mother dog bathing her pups. There were no doubts left over about what kind of mother she had been during her short time with Paige. What better caregiver could a child ask for? He wanted desperately to say something, perhaps to disrupt her happiness, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He just wasn't that cruel.
"God, I missed you so much," Kay whispered, letting a few more tears escape their confines. She held Paige as tightly against herself as she could without hurting her. How could she have ever considered throwing this away and leaving her with someone else? How could she have ever let it cross her mind? She found Paige's forehead carefully and placed a gentle kiss on it, reveling at the soft skin that had always amazed her. Everything about her little girl was perfect. Now if only she could see her. "I thought about you all the time," she said blissfully. "I don't think I ever went more than five minutes without thinking about you. I'm just so glad you didn't get taken there with me. At least I knew you were safe here."
As time wore on, Kay slowly became aware that someone else was in the room. She had the very distinct feeling of being watched, and every now and then she could have sworn that she heard someone breathing on the other side of the room. Finally, she lifted her head from Paige and her eyes blankly pointed in the direction of the breathing. "Who's there?" she asked tentatively. She hadn't forgotten her reunion with everyone, so maybe someone sitting in the room with her wasn't such a good thing.
Ben hesitated, but he knew he couldn't talk to her right now. He stood up and walked to the door, not bothering to be quiet. Just as he opened the door, she said curiously, "Ben?" He paused in the doorway, but he couldn't bring himself to say anything, although he knew the sigh of frustration with himself that came out a little too loudly confirmed what she was thinking.
Kay wasn't sure what to think when the door slammed shut and she heard his footsteps in the hallway. Why hadn't he said anything? And why had he chosen to sit there for so long without letting her know he was there? She wanted to ask him about everything that had gone on with Paige while he had her, and maybe find out why he had taken her in the first place. Had he known who Paige was? If he didn't, what was the point of taking a baby that meant nothing to him, and why was he even in Montana at all? None of it made any sense, and now that she had the time to relax and enjoy the fact that her captivity was over, she wanted answers to her questions. The main thing she wanted to know was that Paige had been well taken care of. She didn't think that Ben would deliberately do damage to a baby, but he wasn't used to handling them. He may have unintentionally done something wrong. Paige seemed happy enough, though, so she wasn't too concerned. The biggest relief was that she was still perfectly content in her mother's arms. She didn't think she could take it if she had come back and Paige didn't want her to hold her. At least now she could pick up where she left off.
Max perched herself on the kitchen table with her elbows braced on her knees and her chin resting in her hands. At least everything was finally over, now they could all get to the healing process. She knew that Ben and Zack in particular needed the greatest amount of healing; Ben because of how badly his relationship with Kay had ended and everything that had happened afterwards, and Zack because he needed to be able to forgive himself for the actions he had taken against her. He was no longer waiting for an explanation from her, he simply wanted to ease his conscience over what he had done. It was easily the cruelest thing he could have possibly come up with and he had never let himself forget it.
"What are you thinking about?" Logan asked as he walked into the kitchen. She hadn't looked this serious in a long time.
She gave him a tight smile. "Everything. There's a lot to think over. Mostly I'm just worrying about Ben. He's just so unstable that I'm worried about what will happen if he gets into a fight with Kay. Obviously I wouldn't be too concerned about a physical fight, at the moment we both know who would win, but Kay can be really harsh with her words when she wants to be. Sometimes Ben strikes me as a completely lost, confused little boy, and we already know what happened when he lost Kay the last time; he went straight back to killing. The thing is I don't think it satisfies him as much as it used to, and if she pushes him any farther off the deep end, then I'm really worried about what he could do. He has such strange needs; if he becomes much more frustrated, I may end up facing the same decision as last time, only this time I'll have my family with me. I love him, but we just can't allow him to become any worse than he already is."
Ben leaned against the wall of the hallway outside the kitchen, grinding his teeth the entire time. What right did Max have to judge him? She didn't show it in the same ways that he did, but she was just as much of a chaotic jumble of emotions as he was. All of them were, mainly because of the way they grew up. They were raised to not have any emotions, but once they were in the outside world and they realized that all of those feelings were actually swirling around inside of them, waiting to be unleashed, things got completely out of control. They hadn't been taught to deal with emotions, only to repress them completely. Now that they were aware of their existence, they couldn't just forget about them, so they tried to repress them as they'd been taught, but it backfired completely. He knew that one way or another they had all had a breakdown at some point because the feelings didn't just disappear, they simply built up inside until the dam burst and they came flooding back out in a mad, uncontrollable torrent that crashed around in their confused brains until they nearly went crazy. In Ben's case, it was enough to really push him over the edge.
The fact was, though, that Ben wasn't completely insane, as everyone liked to believe. It was just easier to label him "crazy" because then they could excuse anything he did by merely saying, "Oh, it's only because he's nuts. It's not really his fault." But he knew better. He had more control over the urges inside of him than he liked to admit to himself. Through his teenage years he had consoled himself by constantly saying that he had no control over killing, it just happened, but he became very much aware of his actual level of control when he fell in love with Kay. He knew he had hurt her by killing her friend Vic, so somehow he managed to force away that need. It just didn't seem as prevalent anymore, anyway. Why did he need to kill? He had Kay, and he didn't really need anything else. After the whole mess so many months ago, when he had reverted to the way he used to be, he realized that killing wasn't quite enough. That was why he had taken Paige. He had thought luring in all those familiars and killing all of them would somehow fill that gap in his life, but even now he realized how ridiculous that was.
As Zack and Brin walked past, Brin paused next to him. "Are you okay? You look really serious."
He forced a smile and did his best to give a nonchalant shrug. "I'm fine, it's just been a really long day. My mind must have wandered off. How are you? Your arm doesn't look so great."
She almost tried to shrug, but then realized just how painful that would be. "Nah, it'll be all right. I'm just not going to be able to throw any left hooks for a while. At least now I actually have an excuse to take off work. If I let it get a little worse, I can shove a gangrenous bullet wound under Normal's nose and see what he thinks about that. I can tell him that I was shot doing a run for him. Maybe I'll even get paid vacation time while I'm recuperating."
Now Ben honestly smiled a little, even though it still wasn't the smile that he used to have at the farm. "And of course you'll tell him that X5s take as long as ordinaries to recover, right? You and I both know that's going to heal in a couple of days."
She pressed a finger to her lips secretively. "Shhh, Normal doesn't need to know that."
Alec glanced at her as he and Jondy walked past, rolling his eyes. "Geez, maybe I should have gotten shot too."
Brin smirked at him. "Kind of hard when you don't get involved in the action."
"Touché," he called back as he entered the kitchen. Jondy stepped back out into the hallway with her arms crossed. "Couldn't you at least try to be a little nicer to him?"
Brin's eyes widened innocently. "Hey, I think I've been doing a pretty good job so far. Besides, he knows I'm just kidding. If I really wanted to be mean, I'd do it, trust me. He'd know it, too. How are you feeling? Fighting with Sate didn't hurt the baby, did it?"
Jondy shrugged. "Not as far as I know. If I were going to have a miscarriage, I think I would have felt something by now. Our bodies are tough, my baby practically has armor protecting it in there."
Brin grinned. "Now there's a mental image."
Ben knew that they were just unwinding after the tension of the day and joking around like this was their way of getting rid of the tension, but he felt like their light-heartedness was putting miles between him and them. They wanted to forget about the confusion while he wanted to dwell on it until he figured everything out, and only when that happened would he feel better. He really wished he could just cut loose like his siblings when everything started to pile up on him, but he had never been good at that. Brin noticed the look on his face and she grabbed his arm quickly. "Hey, let's go get something to drink. How's your head?"
As they walked into the kitchen, he shrugged. "It's okay, the nap really helped, but it's not a hundred percent again." He had to admit that it felt really good to get a drink of water. He hadn't realized just how parched his throat was. It seemed as though everyone felt the same way as he did, because they all looked as though they were enjoying their water a little more than they usually did.
As Logan watched everyone greedily quench their thirst, Kay's face immediately jumped into his head. If anyone needed a drink of water, she did. As everyone joked around and continued to virtually inhale their bottles, Logan picked up a couple bottles when no one was looking and headed for the guest room. There was no reason to involve everyone in this as long as they were in a good mood. Besides, he was only going to give her a drink.
Kay's head shot up when she heard the door open, but Logan immediately let her know it was him. "I thought you might be thirsty," he said quietly, not wanting his voice to carry to the other room. She smiled faintly and nodded, listening curiously as he shut the door. As he moved almost silently across the room towards her, she quickly realized that he hadn't come here with the others' knowledge. "So, how are you doing?" he asked as he placed the bottle in her hand.
She took a large gulp before she spoke, sighing as she instantly felt the moisture settle into the dry skin in her throat. "Thanks for the drink. I'm not feeling too bad, I actually expected it to be a lot worse. I'm just glad to be back with Paige. I guess now you know what I was looking for."
He smiled as he looked at the contentedly sleeping baby in her arms. "Yeah, and I can see why you had such a hard time when the electricity went out and I couldn't make any progress. Just to let you know, she's been living here with Ben for the past week, ever since we found out just who she was. She had a terrible headache for the first couple days, but she's back to normal now, or at least Ben says this is how she was when he first got her. She's been in good hands. Brin and Max have gone nuts over her, but she really doesn't respond to anyone other than Ben. This is the first time I've really seen her happy in someone else's arms. Oh, and another useful bit of information you might want to know; Ames White is currently chained up in my basement. I'll bet you already know what everyone else wants to do to him, but we thought it would be best if we found out where Ray was first. Do you have any idea where he would have left him?"
She shook her head, taking another swig from her bottle. "No, I really didn't know much about the people that Ames trusted. He wouldn't have left Ray with one of his friends, because the cult could track that down too easily, but I don't know who Ames would have felt secure in leaving him with. I'm surprised everyone left him alive this long."
"Me too, because other than informing us about what happened to you after you two left the big fight, we didn't have any other uses for him. Max is usually the one who takes food down to him because she's the only one who can tolerate his constant sarcasm. Even she's getting ready to shove a plastic bag over his head."
Despite the pain it brought to her face, Kay had to grin. "You have no idea how many times I wanted to do that." She paused for a moment, then decided that she ought to voice one of the things that was bothering her. "How come Zack hasn't been in here? I would have expected him to be the first one to start interrogating me about who all the familiars were wherever I was so that he could start eliminating them."
"Well, there's a couple reasons for that. First of all, he blew up the college you were at, so I'm pretty sure all of your captors are dead. Secondly, he can't even come in here. You're in heat."
Kay's eyebrows jumped up in surprise. "Really? I hadn't even noticed. No wonder Sate kept complaining about something smelling funny. I never noticed it, but then again I wouldn't, would I? But then how was Ben able to stay in here so long?"
"How did you know he was here? I didn't think he would have let you know."
"I'm blind, not stupid. He must have sat over there for at least ten minutes before I got sick of waiting for him to say something and I asked if anyone was there. Then he just got up and left. It kind of creeped me out to tell you the truth. Here I am being all mushy while I'm reuniting with my daughter, and someone can just watch me like I'm on live television. If I had wanted an audience, I wouldn't have asked to be alone with Paige."
Logan didn't really know what to say, it wasn't like he knew what was running through Ben's deranged mind, but he understood how that could make her feel extremely exposed. No one liked an audience when they were baring their emotions for the world to see. She had wanted her reunion to be private, as it should have been, but her blindness left her incredibly vulnerable. Ben probably would have still been sitting in the room if she hadn't said anything. As he thought, his eyes wandered over to Paige. That's when he noticed that some of Kay's dried blood was rubbing off on the baby blanket. "You know, I really hate to even suggest this when I know you want to spend time with Paige, but I think it would be a good idea if you took a shower. Not only do we not want that smell sticking around with Paige, but it's also probably better for you if you get your wounds cleaned out now, before they get the chance to get infected."
Kay bit her lip hesitantly, she really wanted to spend more time with Paige, but he was right, it would be best if she took a shower right now. "I'm not sure how capable I am at the moment…" she started timidly, but he cut her off before she could finish.
"Do you want me to go get the girls?"
She smiled sheepishly and nodded. "Yeah, if you would."
Five minutes later, Brin was helping Kay into the bathroom. They really didn't need more than one person to help, and Kay didn't really want to make a big deal out of this. It wasn't like she needed them to do everything, she just needed their help in pointing out where everything was. Plus it would probably be a good idea to have someone sitting outside the shower stall in case she collapsed. It hadn't been easy to hand Paige over to Max again, but she comforted herself with the fact that now she could hold her daughter anytime she wanted. Besides, she didn't want her daughter to start associating her with the scent of blood.
When they were next to the shower stall, Brin took Kay's hand and started setting it on the objects she named. "Here's the soap, up here's the shampoo, there's conditioner here if you want it, and I'll get you a fresh rag. Just let me know if you come across any big wounds that you want me to take a look at. We might have to use some alcohol on some of them."
Kay knew that Brin was being overly nice to make up for her original cold reception. Not that she minded, but she knew it didn't change the fact that she was going to have to give a very long explanation as soon as they deemed her healthy enough. Once her tattered clothes were off and the lukewarm water was streaming over her body, her fingers landed tentatively on the bar of soap. This is not going to be fun. Brin listened silently while she sat on the closed toilet seat as Kay gasped quietly with pain every time soap entered a new wound. They would have just used normal water and later cleaned the wounds with alcohol, but they were running kind of low, so as painful as it was, Kay would have to endure the stinging. It wasn't like the alcohol would feel much better. When it sounded like Kay was doing fine on her own, Brin quickly ran into Logan's bedroom and pulled out a set of Max's clothes. If she wasn't mistaken, Kay had already been wearing some of Max's clothes when she was turned into a human shredder victim. At least this time they didn't have to worry about that happening again.
Max was waiting impatiently in the guest room when the two women returned, gently rocking Paige. Kay slid into bed and immediately accepted her daughter back into her arms. Even that short separation seemed like too much right now. She settled herself happily into her soft position on the bed, but soon became strongly aware that Max and Brin were still standing right there. She didn't even have to guess at what they wanted. "Sit down, this might take a while."
Author's Note: Please read and review!