A/N- This is my first story, so sorry if it's crap. I will try harder on the next chapters. This story starts after the events of 'Confidence Man'. The lyrics used are from the song 'Behind Blue Eyes'.

Rating- PG-13 just in case.

Summary- Kate, Jack and Sawyer think about the past, present and future.

Pairing- Kate/Jack, with a little Sawyer/Kate.

Disclamer- I own only my car, my TV, and the thoughts rolling around in my head. Now onto the story.

Rain was cascading down onto the beach as Kate sat under the tarps that Jack had put together to make a tent. Sawyer still lay on the makeshift cot pretending to be asleep so that he wouldn't have to face Kate and the look she had in her eyes now that she knew the truth. He didn't want her to look at him like that, he couldn't let her look at him like that. No one was allowed to feel sorry for a man like him, especially her, and that was why he did what he did. He had heard them fighting, yelling and screaming at each other before the storm had come. When she had come into the tent after the fight, he could tell she was crying, and that was the other reason he couldn't face her. He did not want to see her hurting but he had no choice, everyone had to hate him and only hate him. They weren't aloud to feel any emotion but hate and loathing and fear towards him.

Kate he thought as he lay there, she was everything he ever wanted. She was beautiful, intelligent, strong, and brave. She had a certain essence about her that he thought was both undeniably mysterious and intriguing. He couldn't help but be drawn towards her. Then of course, there was their kiss. It was the best kiss he'd ever had and he could have sworn that she kissed him back. He wanted so badly to be with her, but he couldn't allow it. If someone as beautiful and smart and caring as her, no matter what she did to have been in the marshal's custody, could fall for someone like him, then the same could be true for the man he had written that letter to, so many years ago. And that was something he could not handle. So he had to make her hate him, no matter how much it would break his heart, no matter how much he hated being alone. He had to make her hate him, so he did the only thing he could think of at the time, he told Jack about the kiss.

No one knows what it's like

To be the bad man

To be the sad man

Behind blue eyes

So that's the end of the first chapter. Please review and tell me what you thought. Good or bad, although I know more will be bad than good. It's all good, either way.