A/N- Okay, here goes chapter two. Thank you to those who reviewed, I'll love you forever.
Kate starred out at the pouring rain as her tears silently made their way down her cheeks. When did my life become so messed up she thought. When the plane crashed? When the marshal caught me in Australia? When I went to Australia? But the truth was, her life had always been messed up. Well, at least since she was eight years old, a lifetime ago. But that wasn't what was making her cry right now.
Her life was messed up for a while, sure, but it just seemed to get worse after the plane crashed. Everything she thought she knew about men, people in general, and even herself was lost along with everyone on the island.
She had always been able to manipulate men into getting what she needed. She could always have any man, any time, for any thing she wanted, though she never actually wanted a man for just himself. She only used men for things, things like food, a place to sleep, money, but that was all, until Jack. But try as she might, she could not get Jack to make a move or say that he wanted her. She just couldn't understand it.
Also, she never thought that she, of all people, could ever fall in love with another man. That she would ever cry over a man, but here she was, tears streaming down her face because Jack had yelled at her and said that he didn't want to be near her. That he didn't care about her. And that hurt more than anything she'd ever felt before.
She just didn't understand. She knew that Sawyer, or whatever his name is, was a bastard, but why would he tell Jack about the kiss. She knew the answer. He wanted to rub it in Jack's face that he was the first one to kiss her, that he was better than Jack because of it. But that would never be true. She only kissed him because she thought he would give her the inhalers and because she didn't want Jack turning into the kind of man that would resort to violence so quickly. That is, if he wasn't that kind of man before the island. She didn't think he was that kind of man, he was too caring and too giving and too sweet, but she realized that she probably came across that way to every one too. She just couldn't be one hundred percent sure about anyone. It seemed they all had their own secrets just waiting to be revealed. She now knew Sawyer's secret, but not anyone else's.
And why on earth did she kiss Sawyer back, and for so long. What was I trying to prove? That she didn't have feelings for Jack? Or maybe she was trying to sabotage the relationship before it even began. There were a number of reasons that she would want to do that. One, she knew that if they ever got off the island that things wouldn't last between them. She was a fugitive and he was doctor, he would never go on the run with her. Two, she was afraid that he wouldn't love her back, as she clearly found out. And three, which was most likely the real reason, he scared the hell out of her. The way he made her feel with just a look or when he was around her. The way he had still treated her after he found out she was the convict. Or the way he was able to bring the truth out of her.
For the last half of her life, she had been on the run, moving from place to place, lying to everyone she met. She lied about her name, her age, what she did and about her history. She'd been lying to everyone for so many years that nowadays, it just came naturally. She no longer had to think about the lies, they just came. But when Jack asked for her name, she had said Kate before she even realized what she was doing. And it was always that way when he asked her questions. She could lie to Claire or Charlie or Sayid, but not to Jack. He was also the first person she had ever wanted to know the whole truth. He was the first person whose opinion of her, she actually cared about.
But he doesn't care about me.
At first she thought he did. When he first came up to her, anger clouding his eyes, he wanted to know why she had kissed Sawyer. She told him it was only to get the medicine and to stop him from getting hurt. Then he asked her if she had kissed him back. She tried to lie, to tell him that she didn't, but she couldn't. She told him the truth and for a brief second thought she saw a hurt look cross his face. If it had been there it was quickly replaced by anger and those harsh words before he took of to go back to the caves, away from me. Jack was the one person she felt she could be herself around. The one person she didn't have to lie to. And now he was gone.
And no one knows what it's like
To be hated
To be fated
To telling only lies
Well there is the end of another chapter. It was a little bit longer, but not much. I promise the next chapter will be a lot longer. That is if you want another chapter.