Chapter 55: Sprig Gets Schooled

So this day definitely went some unexpected places.

We were just taking a leisurely stroll around the nicer part of Newtopia when HP needed a break, so we stopped at a really nice-looking park… or at least what we thought was a nice-looking park. Didn't matter. It had benches for sitting and wide-open grassy laws that were a perfect place to break out the old bug disc for a friendly game of Ultimate Non-Trademarked Throwing Toy.

It wasn't a park, though. It was the quad of the fabled Newtopia University, and it was full of college newts doing college stuff. Potato-tomato, though. A grassy lawn was a grassy lawn, though, and there was no point not making use of it, so we started tossing the bug disc back and forth.

And Sprig's last toss must have been particularly long, because when I made it back, he told me he got into college, and I was like, whaaaaaa?

So, I guess he really impressed one of the professors here, and he decided to sponsor him for some kind of trial program, because they next thing we know, he's being moved into a dorm room.

I'm kind of torn on the issue. On the one hand, this is a big opportunity for him and I should be happy… but on the other hand, I'm not sure he's ready for it at his age. And I wonder if he really has the focus to concentrate in class. Focus isn't exactly at the forefront of his skillset.

But hey… if this is something he wants, then I support him 100%. That's what best friends/sisters do!

Polly was a bit unclear about this whole college thing, so I decided to share with her what I think is the best representation of campus life, the 1988 movie Frats Off to Ya, starring Anthony Nelson as BMOC Rodney McDonald and his nerd sidekick Melvin, played by Dany Eezen, as they engages in PG-13 frat shenanigans while tangling with crusty old Dean Stockwell, played by Ted Mulligan. Founder statues are defaced, farm animals are released where farm animals shouldn't be, and stuffy parties for snooty rich donors are crashed and turned into wild out of control parties, angering the Dean, but reminding those snooty donors not to take life so seriously, reminding them why they loved college in the first place, and saving the school.

We decided that this was something we had to get in on. That night, after we were sure Hop Pop was asleep, we jumped the Newtopia U wall and snuck on campus.

As usual, things went downhill almost immediately. I accidentally stepped on some kind of bug… alarm, or something? Th next thing you know, campus security is making like Mr. Burns and releasing the hounds (or the bug equivalent). And they were not only hot on our butts, but Sprig's too! Yeah, see, while we were trying to break in, Sprig was trying to break out. Go figure, right? It's like, irony or something.

Anyway, the campus popo eventually got us, and it turns out all of this was pointless anyway; see, Sprig hated college. Too many rules, too much sitting still for long periods of time. He'd really only given it a shot to make HP proud. I mean, I probably could have guessed it wasn't going to be his thing. Not that HP's all that broken up about it. He's been pretty down ever since Sprig moved on-campus; in fact, he was trying to break Sprig out at the same time Sprig was trying to break himself out!

So ended Sprig's brief academic career. And Polly and me? We never did get to crash that wild college party. But I bet it was epic.

A.N.: Yet another short chapter. The next one'll probably be as well.

Acosta: As long as you don't think about where the milk comes from…

Gregorian: I know it's all for the sake of convenience (heck, Luz' shouldn't be able to understand anyone on the BI either, but I'm sure the answer there is "it's magic, we don't gotta explain s***"), but I can't help but overthink it.

Ashley: Basically, just don't do what Anne and Polly did.

Next: Little Frogtown