Chapter 56: Little Frogtown

Today, HP woke us up all excited to take us somewhere super-special. Now, you will excuse me if I wasn't super-enthusiastic, because what an old person thinks is special and what kids think is special are often two very different things, but it was his turn to pick the destination.

We took Bessie to the Little Frogtown district of Newtopia, a sort of local enclave of frogs living within Newtopia. And for a moment, I was pleasantly shocked. Our destination was an arcade!

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. "An arcade? I thought Amphibia was at an around early-industrial-revolution level of technology at best. What kind of arcade could they possibly have there?" Honey, I'm right there with you. Which was why I was so eager to get inside! I mean, yeah, I know they won't have something like Fight Fighters or Super Dance Dance Fusion Doki Doki, but there's gotta be something interesting in there, or else there wouldn't be a huge line outside trying to get in.

Most of all, I was surprised this was where HP would take is, as you know how he gets about all things modern. Well, I shouldn't have been, because of course he wasn't taking us to the arcade; he was taking us to the tiny, sad-looking sandwich shop next door. Now… I have nothing but respect for all things sandwich. It's the second-most-perfect meal after pizza. But sandwiches vs. an arcade? No contest!

At least he didn't give us too much grief about ditching him for the arcade, other than his usual speech about how the young had no respect for tradition and blah blah blah blah grumpy grump grump.

A couple of hours later, we were starting to regret it. A sandwich or two might've fortified us for the coming ordeal of having to stand in a line that was barely moving. I had no idea what was going on in there, but the place was so packed that they were letting one group in at a time, at a rate of about a half hour per customer. And when the line finally moved, a tiny amount, this little twerp cut right in front of us! And like, no one reacted! How is this sort of thing allowed?

Sprig and Polly told me to drop it, but I just couldn't. Especially when the little turd let his friends cut in front of him. That was the last straw. No more Ms. Nice Otherdimensional Creature. It was time to do what I did best around here… scare the crap out of the locals.

It was when they started crying when I realized that what I had basically done is frighten a bunch of small children and threaten to eat them. Not my brightest move. Especially since it got me tased. And banned for life from the arcade, but I pretty much expected that. After all, getting banned from stuff is kinda turning out to be a Plantar family tradition.

Speaking of tradition, it was shortly after I got tased that HP showed up to pick us up. He seemed like he was in a good mood. I asked him if he enjoyed that sandwich, and he just said "Not exactly," and then sorta trailed off and stopped talking. After we tried to get his attention, he snapped out of it, but he still wasn't talking, but he looked like he wanted to talk, but he couldn't. For a minute, I was worries he'd had a stroke, but then he grabbed a pen and paper and wrote "HELP! I'M TRAPPED IN AN INTERNAL MONOLOGUE!" Man, I should never have let him watch that old detective movie…

P.S.: He eventually snapped out of it, but when we asked him about it, he said "Forget it, Anne, it's Frogtown. There's nothing you can do."

The only clue as to what might have happened was that he brought back a jar of this sauce that he'd been going on about. The way he talked it up, this sauce was the most delicious thing that had ever been created.

Maybe it's a frog thing? Because as far as I could tell, the stuff tastes like filthy ditch water (and no, you can't ask about how I know what ditch water tastes like). No accounting for taste, I guess.

Another short one! This is one of my favorite episodes (I love noir parodies), but unfortunately for this series, Anne isn't there for most of it.

Ashley: I get you. Ultimately, everyone has to find their own way.

MarMarFaAnne: Actually it's a reference to how their VAs were best friends on "Suite Life". With the Plantars, chaos is a given. And yep, Animal House along with pretty much every other Fraternity Shenanigans movie. The Simpsons is a constant in every reality. You can't escape it.

Jose: Do better? She's gonna be teaching there!

Next: Hopping Mall