A/N: Warning- Written very late at night and midly edited so bear with me and accept the mistakes. I just wanted to poet this before I went to sleep. I'll edit it later. Note the change in pen name! Sorry to the people who wanted a plot. Last chapter was sort of "the day after reminiscing" and I had to add a little (actually a LOT) JL fluff. I have always imagined that was the way they shared their first kiss and I wanted to write that scene SO badly. This chapter starts slow but has some action in it. POV James Lily James Lily James This was inspired by "Break Myself" by Something Corporate (my current obsession).

Disclaimer: (Of course) I don't own Harry Potter.

Break Myself- Vanilla Voices

'Monday morning,' thought James as he stared out his window from level 2 of the Ministry of Magic. London was clouded it her usual gray cape of fog. The results of a heavy rain early this morning were still clinging to the windows and more was blowing into the glass. James was glad that he was working indoors filling out forms. He pitied the soaked muggles on the sidewalks, pathetically trying to keep dry using one of their silly contraption (called an umbrella).

"James?" asked voice approaching him.

"Hmmm…" James replied. He whirled around in time to see his best friend Sirius walking towards him, girl-swooning grin and all.

"Mate… you know that we're underground right? The windows are enchanted." Sirius said. James glanced back at the window and looked at Sirius again.

"Oh, right," said a very embarrassed James.

"Well, you have been only been working here for a year…" said Sirius sarcastically.

"Shut it Sirius," said James adding a bite to every word.

"Alright, good morning to you too," said Sirius trying to take some of the edge from James' voice. James leaned back on his desk chair, sighed, and mumbled a soft, "Morning". Sirius knew it was a difficult weekend for James, with his birthday (not to mention LILY) and all. He was willing to let James brood for a while.

I'm on fire
And the day is feeling hopeless
You'd see me burning but the burning's turning smokeless
Soon I won't feel at all
No

Most of the field Aurors, like James, spent their time catching up on their paperwork this morning. Busy quills scratching on parchment echoed inside his head. Sirius had left to talk to Alastor and to get a bite to eat for breakfast, but knowing him, James knew Sirius was going to waste the morning away eating and flirting with the secretaries coming to get coffee for their boss. James tried to pick up his pen, but the sickening silence irked him on so many different levels. He needed something to distract himself and paperwork was just not doing it for him. He rubbed his temple and tightly shut his eyes. Suddenly the telephone at his desk rang.

'Damn. That is so much louder thanks to the courtesy of this headache. Well, at least it's better than the silence. Doesn't the Ministry know that owls work just as well as this stupid muggle invention? Those clowns at the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts are always willing to try new things and they'll bring the entire Ministry down in flames.' Thought James as he reached to grab the receiver. It took a few seconds before the voice on the other end registered in his mind.

"James, James…"

'LILY?!' thought James.

It's electric the neon hurt inside your phone call
The layered sadness and the madness it revolves
Bringing down the walls where you found her
No

About a half an hour before…

"Do it or I'll have to take matters into my own hands," Michelle's voice ranged inside Lily's head. Her threat haunted Lily still. Lily rubbed her palms together, trying to erase the ink. Maybe she could tell Michelle that she washed her hands so many times that the ink faded away and she couldn't read it.

'Shit, she used permanent ink, that crafty witch. No wonder she's an Auror,' thought Lily. She hurried back to her charge before the other nurses realized that she was gone. She cut through the lobby of St. Mungo's and took the elevator up. When she was at the pediatrics level, she got off the elevator and walked down the hall. Lily turned left and opened the door that was two from end. She carefully shut the door behind her and tiptoed to the sleeping form snuggled between white sheets. The pale face almost blended into the white. Lily hated to rouse the boy from his peaceful and well-earned sleep, but she needed to know if he was ok.

"Hey Sean… feeling any better?" Lily said in her sweetest voice. The little boy looked to small and weak for his expansive bed. He didn't speak, but he swayed his head side to side. Lily's smile turned in to a worried frown.

"Alright then, did you take your blood infusion potion?" she asked as she moved to the bedside table and examined the bluish vile sitting on top of the table. Not a drop was missing. Lily could hardly blame the child. After losing both his parents to a mass killing committed by no other than the Death Eaters, he was silent as stagnant water. He wouldn't eat or drink anything either.

"Gently mourning," thought Lily. She looked at Sean sorrowfully and reached for her wand that was in her skirt pocket. She whispered,

"I'm sorry," and raised her wand.

"Consopio!" she pronounced very clearly and Sean gradually fell asleep. The sleeping charm becomes very useful when patients didn't want to take their potions, especially young children.

'I wonder if it's cruel to let him live and have him suffer the death of his family. He looks so peaceful sleeping," thought Lily. She popped the stopper from the vile and brought it gingerly to his rosy lips. With one hand supporting Sean's head and one hand holding the vile, Lily force-fed Sean the potion. She conjured a glass of water to drown the bitter taste of the potion and fed him that too. She placed the empty vile and half full glass on the bedside table and brushed the bangs from his forehead to place a soft kiss on his brow. She glanced back one last time before she left the room and turned off the light.

Once she was out in the blank hallway, she felt a warning sore on her palm.

'Will Michelle ever leave this alone?' Lily thought. She cradled his right hand in her left and stared at ink and numbers written on her hand seemed to glare back.

'I guess she is right. I owe him an apology and he shouldn't have to hear it from Michelle. I hope I don't die from embarrassment or guilt. Nothing to gain and everything to fear," thought Lily. She made her way to the nurses' office and closed the door on a vacant room with a telephone. After going up muggle, Lily had a lot of experience using a telephone. She dialed and hoped for the best all the while expecting the worst.

Well, I'm willing to break myself
To shake this hell from everything I touch
I'm willing to bleed for days my... reds and grays
So you don't hurt so much

"James, James…I just want to say I'm sorry," she said quickly before slamming the phone down. She didn't want to hear his voice, it drove her crazy. It was over. She had done it.

Completely unexpected.

His throat felt dry as he heard the click from the other line. He didn't notice Michelle was glancing hopefully at him but was disappointed in his reaction. James froze.

And now I'm static
As your sky is turning purple and gray
I'm learning that the further that I crawl
The farther that I fall, is that ok?
No

Lily, his number one anti-fan, had just called and apologized. He wanted nothing more than to run over to St. Mungo's and swept her off her feet. But, she probably still hates him and thinks he is a mindless playboy, and just apologized because Michelle forced her. How did he ever get tangled up in Lily's complex web of thoughts? It would be simpler if he could just talk to her. He had no chance. Alastor came storming over with a manila folder. All he could breathe was, "Attack, Death Eaters, bridge, Get, Sirius,"

CRACK James had already Apparated.

He found Sirius grinning gleefully at a blonde in a mini skirt and heels. James quickly grabbed his friend's collar and dragged him away from his surely inappropriate conversation.

"Come on mate, attack on the bridge," James said. They quickly Apparated away.

The wind was blowing fiercely in their faces as they watched in horror as four Death Eaters were invading a double-decker bus. James was the first one to reach a Death Eater. They hadn't even noticed that Aurors were arriving at the scene.

"STUPEFY!" shouted James as he pointed his wand at the Death Eaters back. The others noticed the Aurors were here. Flashes of red and green raced between James and Sirius and the Death Eaters.

"EXPELLIARMUS!" cried Sirius as the Death Eater (nearest to James) 's wand flew out of his hand. James felt his concentration wane when a finger tapped him on the shoulder. He quickly glanced behind himself and saw a frightened face of Michelle. Something was definitely wrong. Michelle was never scared, not even in the face of twenty Death Eaters. Suddenly the Death Eaters Apparated away and Sirius, James, and Michelle were left alone.

'James, Sirius, the Death Eaters used that attack as a diversion. They have a bigger plan. A group of thirty Death Eaters were sent to St. Mungo's to finish what was left undone. They want to finish off the survivors of their other attacks!" screamed Michelle with urgency. She was on the brink of tears. She wanted to fight right away, but Moody had sent her to find James and Sirius. All James could comprehend was Death Eaters and St. Mungo's.

"Lily,"

She could hear the screaming from 3 floors beneath her. Horrible, ear piercing screams.

And you're in pieces
As your world becomes a rainstorm
You've got no shelter I'm a thousand miles away
If you survive the day

You say your leaving
You say your leaving

Lily felt her soul tear apart as she heard innocents dying a violent death. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her and plunged in the thick of the fighting.

'What did Professor Telman teach us anyways?' Lily said as she tried to remember Defense the Dark Arts class in Hogwarts. Lately, healing potions and restoring charms have bombarded her mind and she could barely remember simple counter curses. All she could remember was stupefy and that seemed to work because Death Eaters were dropping at her feet one by one. It took them a while to figure out that they were losing comrades because no one was standing up to the Death Eaters. Lily was a solitary fighter. Not for too long though. Cracks echoed through the hallways.

"Thank Merlin," said Lily. She felt well protected as Aurors lined alongside her and fought against the Death Eaters.

"Attonitus!" yelled a middle aged Auror beside her. A bolt of lighting escaped the end of her wand and struck the quickly approaching Death Eater. The Death Eater froze in place. Inspired by the Auror, Lily remembered that her medical charms might harm as well as heal.

"Sopio!" shouted Lily as she pointed her wand at a Death Eater, instantly the Death Eater dropped to the floor asleep. Before she had time to admire her accomplishment, she was hit by a stray disarming spell. Her wand went flying across the room. Defenseless, she was hit to the ground by a stunning spell. The shock was so much that she couldn't say "Accio wand" to retrieve her wand. Suddenly something exploded right by her leg and she was blown into a wall by the force. Blackness threatened the edges of her vision. Before it claimed her, she saw a dark figure leaning over her.

Well, I'm willing to break myself
To shake this hell from everything I touch
I'm willing to bleed for days my... reds and grays
So you don't hurt so much

So you don't hurt so much

'Please Lily, don't let me catch you here in this fighting,' thought James as he hit a Death Eater will a well-aimed stunning spell. Soon the fight gradually died off. He made way over to Sirius, trying not to step on the dead bodies.

"Mate, I think we got most of them. We need to look for doctors and nurses (if they haven't been killed) and care after the wounded," said James. Sirius nodded. They walked around to the other Aurors and told them their plan. They also nodded in agreement, but suggested they keep an eye out because there could be more Death Eaters. As James walked around, he could see a glint of red hair from the corner of his eye.

'Lily,' he immediately concluded. He ran over and sure enough Lily Evans was bloodied, bruised, and lying very still. James quickly grabbed her hand and felt the icy coldness.

Never again will we fire this gun
No never again your the only one
No never again but you're already gone.

'No'

Before a tear could be shed, a shadow covered them both.

"Potter…and his precious Evans. Filth and Mudblood. Dear Merlin, help us all. At least she is where she belongs, in the dirt," said Malfoy. James slowly stood to his full stature. He towered slightly over Malfoy. Trembling with anger, he pointed his wand at Malfoy's neck.

"Too bad your own venom can't kill you," James whispered.

"FOOL!" said Malfoy and he whipped his own wand around and said,

"Crucio!"

James collapsed, his entire frame violently shaking in complete and absolute pain. Each nerve flared and his skin burned. His mouth was opened in a silent scream.

I'm willing to break myself

I'm not afraid
I'm willing to break myself
I'm not afraid
I'm willing to break myself
I'm not afraid

Malfoy grinned and turned towards Lily. He kneeled beside her,cupped her chin with one hand and examined her features.

"Too bad. You are very pretty for a Mudblood. You would have made a good toy to play around with. But I can't spare your life for my pleasure," said Malfoy. Even though James' mind was flooded with pain, he could only think about Lily.

'WHAT?! If I ever get my hands on you Malfoy… I swear I'll murder you and enjoy it when your cold blood drips from my hand. WHAT?! LILY'S ALIVE!' James' mind screamed. He watched Malfoy point his wand at Lily's vulnerable form. James raised his hand and he felt the pain flame up again, but he couldn't stop. He quickly knocked Malfoy's wand from his hand. Malfoy was caught in shock. The wand didn't go very far so Malfoy quickly retrieved it.

"Potter, your pathetic attempts are in vain. CRUCIO!" said Malfoy. If once wasn't enough, the spell seemed to increase tenfold in power the second time. Tears were streaming down James' face. Still, James couldn't give up. He would die first before Malfoy killed Lily.

Well, I'm willing to break myself
To shake this hell from everything I touch
I'm willing to bleed for days my... reds and grays
So you don't hurt so much

So much
So much
So much
So much

Break Myself – Something Corporate

A/N: HAHAHA Cliffie!!!!! I know many of you want to kill me… Review and I'll post the next chappie faster. I'm waiting for at least 10 reviews. Then I'll post the next chappie!!! Hope you enjoyed that. I enjoyed writing it.

Thanks!

V.V.