I feel a lot of you can relate to Lily (I know I can) and I'm glad for that. Most girls out there are sarcastic and probably over analytical of ourselves.
Ok, I've had my say. On w/ the next chappie!
I know that most brilliant geniuses have some sort of tragic childhood. Hence the word most. Really, I'm not like that at all. It's not boasting to say that I'm brilliant. I got perfect scores on the A-levels when I was thirteen; you don't get much more smarter than that.
But back to the point. I don't get it sometimes. Famous people are always "rape victims", or "homeless children". Not me. Then again, I'm not famous or anything. Sometimes I want to be, but being anonymous is really much better.
But I had a pretty normal childhood. My older sister, Petunia, is older than me by five years, so we didn't really talk. Sure, her friends cooed, "Aw, she's such a sweetie!" and when they were nine, I had to play the baby of their "family". Petty was the mum, and her best friend Maryanne was the younger sister. Sometimes they dragged the guy next door ,who by the way is really hot) Garrett, over to play daddy. Those were the good times. When make-believe seemed completely real.
Petty or "Tuna" is pretty in her own way. Tall and gangly, she has an elegant build. She was the athlete, I was the brainiac. But she is fairly pretty. Dirty blonde hair dyed brown later. Dark blue eyes. Stereotype ditz, really. But she wasn't. It's hard to describe. She was a complicated personality. Aren't we all? Even Potter and Black are, amazingly.
I was just the kid sister that tagged along with all the preppy athletes. Preps tend to be really good at physical ed, weirdly enough. I had few friends as a child, mainly because I was busy playing "cute little mascot" to the cheerleaders at Petunia's secondary school, Millings. They loved me, I loved attention in those days. A happy relationship.
But then the letter came. That one about me being a witch. At the time, I thought it was a joke, sent by Petunia's new boyfriend, George something. He was a real joker. Worse than Sirius, if that's possible. So I'm afraid and embarrassed to say that I tossed it out.
But then more of them came.
The house was flooded with letters. My mother, Violet Stevens Evans (Flowery names run in my family, unfortunately. Hence all my aunts' names) became convinced that it was not a gag. So off we went to the Leaky Cauldron, and my adventures at Hogwarts unfolded.
My sixteen-year-old sis became…jealous? Afraid for me? Afraid of me? To this day, I don't even know. I think it was because she was used to having everything, and then along came something that she doesn't understand.
What I do know?
She used to be obsessed with fantasy. It was her secret fetish. Even though she moved on to dating, make-up, and guys, her room was covered in unicorn paintings. Fairy paintings. Titania, Oberon, Puck. It was beautiful. Dreamy. Gauzy blue and purple and pink curtains and stuff adorned the large, spacious room. Wait. Large and spacious mean the same thing.
After the letter, she went and did something with her room. I don't know. But when I came back for the hols, her room was stark white. And she'd become cold. Cold, bitter, emotionless. She was just a shell. Gone was the vivacious girl who used to run to me, sweep me up in a hug, and cry, "LILY KINS!" Now she called me a freak.
I was only eleven then. I didn't understand what was happening, so I spent my entire hols in my room, crying. But now I understand.
For once in my life, I had something she didn't. I was better at something than she was. And that rankled in her mouth. Preps don't like having younger siblings that are better than they at something. Not to mention that I was just slightly prettier than her.
But whatever. Screw her. I don't care if she's hurt. I don't need anything in my life anymore.
I used to have a motto that I left on all my m-mails. "All you have in life are family, friends, and crushes. Don't lose any of them, or your life will be incomplete." It's true. I lost my family, or part of it, and there's always a gaping hole that Petty used to fill. It's a queer feeling.
In a way, I suppose I've had a bad childhood. But I wasn't really abused. I still had mum and dad around. And my suffragette aunts. They're a bit…odd though. I can't blame them. Escaping from England must've been the topmost thing in their minds.
My grandmum is, or, was, a tyrant. (She died last fall. I was so upset.) Tall and menacing, Peach Stevens did not fit her name. She had severe gray hair. Actually, she rather reminded me of Professor McGonagall, except McGonagall is twenty times nicer than her. Scary, ain't it? Sorry. Isn't. Is not. There we go. Me n' my bad grammar. Hehe. But back to my grandmum. She used to correct all of us. "Stand straighter, Rose. Lily, don't raise your voice! A proper woman never shouts. Violet, your children must be seen and not heard! Why, Chrysanthemum, how many times must I tell you to use your proper name? Your name is not Chrys! (Pronounced Chris) It's Chrysanthemum! And-"
What did I say? She was a menace to society. Spending the hols with her was Cruel and Unusual Punishment. I wouldn't wish that on Luscious Malfoy, and that's saying a lot.
Gah. I'm turning into my fellow preppy classmates. It's Lucius. Not Luscious, as many Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs think. I'm ashamed to say it, but a few of my house think that too! We're Gryffindors! Gryff. Vs. Slytherin. It's in the books. Seriously.
Ok, not all of them are bad. But most slimy Slytherins are! They "slyther" everywhere, and…ugh. Malfoy is annoying.
ENOUGH ABOUT MALFOY! HE ISN'T WORTH MY TIME!!
But yeah.
Ok. New topic, Lily. Like… I have no clue. Focusing on what's happening around me? Meh. Why bother? I'm laying in bed with too much energy, reflecting on what happened today. So interesting, no? Totally.
So. Reflecting. Right.
Well, today wasn't so bad. I mean, it was an absolutely ordinary day. Here's a list of what happened today. Did I mention that I love lists? I don't get myself sometimes. I love making lists and being organized, but I live in a pigsty. Then I get these sudden urges to clean, and I rush off and do that. Doesn't make much sense. Then again, what about me does? I'm over analyzing myself again. Back to the list.
STOP GETTING SIDETRACKED, EVANS!!
Right. The LIST.
a) Terryn sold some more beef jerky to James and Sirius. How is it possible that all guys are fat or skinny, but not in between? I don't understand it. They eat twice as much as me, but they're skinnier. Ok, not really. But they look it. I have this theory (I have a lot of theories) that they look so skinny or so fat because they wear such baggy pants, and their stick legs are swallowed up in them.
b) Terryn flirted with James and Sirius. More with Sirius though. I think the only reason cheerleaders flirt with Quidditch players is because they don't know what's really underneath the skins of James and Sirius. Terryn, Emmeline, Kyra. They're all the same. Ditzes. Blonde would be the proper name, except I hate to stereotype, and half of the cheer squad is brunette. But James and Sirius… those two are a mystery. Around me they act like calm, serious, sensible people. James does, anyway. Sirius… he's never been serious, and he never will be. But around the cheerleaders, they're all flirting and boasting and bragging. The type of behavior that makes you wonder, what's the real them?
c) Jamie refused to switch yearbook pages with me, but hey. I'll write my own story, and stick it in there secretly! I'm so smart. Haha, not really. But I know anything I write will be ten times better than Jamie's! How could it not be? Most of the first years are smarter than this Hufflepuff. Makes you wonder if you have to be smart at all to get into Hogwarts.
d) Diane, one of Terryn's cronies (a sixth year), is going out with Warren McBride. Don't get me wrong. All the cheerleaders like me, geek though I am. But I've seen them be mean to others. They're very odd people in who they pick to be friendly to. The day I figure out their system is the day I date James Potter again. And that's never happening, because I already "dated" him in third year. So it was for an hour, and a bit of a joke. But still! These are words I know I will never regret. It's like saying I'm gonna marry Remus Lupin. Not happening.
e) Sirius is dating some Ravenclaw named Roxanne. I'm betting it'll last for two days.
f) Alice Prewett will be accepting a proposal from Frank Longbottom any day now. Frank asked me for advice, since I know Alice rather well. I'm happy for them. They deserve their happiness.
That's all I care to remember. Tomorrow will hopefully bring better things, but I don't know.
Author's Response:
Marina89: Thank you!
Jewels614: No, you've met tEna, but this story is completely fictional. Tina Burnhardt does NOT EXIST. Not in my world, anyway. Just Me: You don't know the plot, so how can you not like it?
FreckledIrishMaiden: I was bored of writing skinny, perfect characters. It's time they had some problems! Lol.
Cherry Chalk: Thanks! And I think your stories are great too! J Yeah, the I-hate-you-but-inner-voice-says-no-you-don't do get rather irritating after awhile.
Smay: No, there will be no makeovers of anybody! But Lily is going to come into her own and discover just how confidant and powerful she is, and how much of an impact she has on lives. Yeah, the summary might change, but I don't particularly care for let's makeover Lily and see how beautiful she is! Type of stories.
Girl Number 1: Wow, you hit the nail on the head! James is not going to be the hero; he's just kinda there while she figures things out about herself. Thanks, the suffragettes part just kinda…fit in. I think it may be a bit late though. I can't seem to remember my history lessons! "I think this is a must read for every girl." While I wish that were true (more reviews. Hehe), it's not. Many girls have already "found themselves", but Lily's still "finding herself" Thanks for the long review!
DobbyGrl: ThAnKs FoR ReViEwInG!! (I'm practicing. Hehe)
SiRiUsRoXmYpOKaDoTsOxS: Cute sn! I like it!
Cilverblood: Don't even think about it, Erika! Hehe.
Aiki-Tenshi: She doesn't really feel bad about herself. Lily's comfortable the way she is. She just sometime wishes she could be better than this. It's the perfectionist in her that's coming through.
Flame Of Desire: Hehe, thanks.
Blink182Rox: Thanx a bunch!
Marauders4ever: Lol. You've already told me what u think of the story! J Thanks for reviewing though. IM me sometime, coz otherwise I'll forget! (You know me n' my bad memory)
Galasriniel: Yeah, I'm overly analytical and sarcastic too. I can't help it; it's in my blood. Hehe.
Lilproblem: Hugs first reviewer Thanks a lot!
I just want to say that I'm amazed about the support you guys have for me. It makes me feel so good. Lol.