Disclaimer: If I were Jo, Ol' Moldie would be dead by now (I have no patience!) and Sirius would live on (Runs to lavishly decorated and quickly constructed shrine to Sirius).
"Lily! Will you go out with me?" James called.
I shrugged. He asks this (as I said, out of habit) every few hours. It's routine for me to roll my eyes and come up with some witty reply. "Only if you swear off beef jerky for the rest of your life." Ok comeback. I'll think of better ones later. Did I mention that I talk to myself while over self-analyzing? I probably did, somewhere. I also have an odd organizational system in my head. Don't ask.
Not to my surprise, he started moaning and writhing on the floor. "No! Anything but that, Flower! I'll do anything for you!" Remus, one of my "acquaintances" (did I mention I have no friends? Well, lots of friends, but no best friends forever type. Ok, I have Tina. That's it.), nudged him with the toe of his shoe. "But my beef jerky! I will die without my beef jerky!"
"Well, then, I suppose you'll just have to live without me," I muttered in the driest voice imaginable. I have a dry wit; what can I say?
"Lily Flower! I cannot live without you! I will die without you! I need both!!" James continued to squirm on the floor. We're seventh years, and he's Head Boy. Does he know he's creating quite the spectacle? Then again, this is nothing new, and there's only the four of us here. Me, James, Sirius, and Remus. We're in the Heads dorm. We get our own dorm. Hehe. I feel so special. Right. Me. Special.
"Choose, James. Me or the jerky?" I tossed sarcastically over my shoulder as I bent over my Charms homework. I am the Queen of Sarcasm, as dubbed by the "King of Pranks" himself. King of Getting Into Detention the Most Times is more like it. No, wait. That'd be Sirius. So I'd have to make him King of Annoying Me the Most. Wait, that's still Sirius. Hmm… Ok then. King of His Little Group Dubbed the Marauders and Full of Himself. That didn't make sense, but whatever. Why do they call it homework? Why not dormwork, or commonroomwork or, or…I'm rambling again. I have a tendency to do that.
James straightened, brushed off his robes, and grinned. Idiot. "Beef jerky of course. Sorry, Lilsy, but-"
"Suit yourself." Even now, joking with acquaintances, I feel cold. I'm sitting in front of the freaking fire, and I'm freezing. Well, I feel like I'm freezing. It's as if I'm in this other world, and the public me is just-
STOP. ANALYZING. YOURSELF. NOW.
Ok, ok. I proceeded to try to quit examining my thoughts. Or, I tried to. Didn't work so hot. I thought the two sides of your brain were supposed to work together. Not…argue with each other.
"Lily? You ok?" Remus tentatively asked.
"Huh? Oh. Yeah. I'm fine." I laughed quietly, but I don't think they got the joke. Then again, why would they? I'm talking to myself here. Which is actually ok, because everybody talks to themselves once in awhile, and it's a perfectly normal thing to do; talking to one's self. So I'm not crazy. Yet.
And I'm still analyzing myself. Argh.
Great. Now I sound like a pirate! Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me. Just perfect. I now have a Disney song in my head. I really should not go over to America during the summer; it's not healthy for my brain.
Have I always been this odd, or did I just notice? And off I go. Blabbering to myself, and not listening to anything that anybody else is saying… Or doing. Speaking of which, James was still writhing, moaning, and playing Drama King with himself. He's arrogant, annoying, and quite odd.
Now I'm shivering. Seems like I always am. I should move to Egypt or something. I hear there are cute curse-breakers… just kidding.
Really, I don't care about boys. I'm seventeen; still quite young. Those little kids disgust me. The ones who are thirteen and moaning, "I'm single again!" Boohoo. Most don't marry till they're twenty. At least. As if I care.
Alright, so I do have the occasional crush. I mean, right now, I've got mini crushes on James, Sirius, Remus, and Kingsley Shacklebolt. I think I spelled that right. But yeah, see what I mean? No, of course not. But a mini crush equals the thought of "They're hot, and all, but no. Also known as their personalities need work". Maybe not Remus, but he's more of a friend than anything.
But no real crushes. You can't have a crush on somebody like James, who signed up for yearbook because he thought it was an easy course. Does he even realize how much work we put in? This is my last year; I want it to be perfect!
But of course, James HAS to be in MY yearbook class, and he HAD to have the highest grades (after me of course) so now we're co-editors. Just perfect. First I'm Head Girl with his Head Boy-ship, and now we're co-head-editors?!? Sometimes I think Professor N. is insane. Just… insane!
But brilliant.
Still insane though.
Enough reflecting! Lord knows I do enough before bed! Time to FOCUS!! Transfig, Evans, Transfig!
"Lilykins?"
A distraction just as I got focused! This is bloody perfect. JUST what I need.
I went for the casual, nonchalant voice. "Yeah?" Oops. I think some of my anger seeped through. Too bad. Maybe he'll remember that I hate his guts and stop asking me out, even as a joke.
Guess not. 'Cause he's still going, "Lilykins! C'mon! ONE DATE!!" James was down on his knees, using his infamous 'puppy dog eyes'. He does have hazel eyes after all. A curious shade of hazel. It's like his eye color shifts constantly. I've never seen anybody else's eyes with the same color. Light brown, dark brown, medium brown, just plain muddy brown, but not that hazel.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen IF I said yes. I mean, he's not all that bad is he?
So maybe I should say yes. I can almost hear Tina's voice saying, "You should, you know. Seventeen years old and no date. It's not like you're wanting for one. So maybe you're a little plump. And you've got an odd combination of features. A little plump elf. But you're adorable. Take me. I'm not hott. But people still go out with me. It's all about the charm. Go for it! So he's like a Bradin, who's just there and annoying. SAY YES! No wonder you haven't had a boyfriend. I bet it's coz he scared everybody else away!
To do or not to do? That is the question. Stupid Hamlet. Damn Shakespeare. DAMN MUGGLE STUDIES!! Why do I even take Muggle Studies? I'm a born Muggle! Honestly…
K, you know what? James is still sitting there, waiting for my answer. Is that a spark of hope I see in his eyes? Nah, it couldn't be. I mean-
But what if?
What if? What if I said yes, what if he really liked me…
Utterly ridiculous.
But what if (there we go again) he really did like me, and to him it wasn't just a joke? Maybe I should say yes. Nothing bad could come from it, right? I mean, even if it was a total fluke (unlikely; I heard Terryn remarking the other day how good James is to all his dates), we already are on acquaintance-level terms anyway, so it would not matter one whit. Whit. I like that word. It's so cool. Back to the subject. And even if it was just an 'ok' date, doesn't matter again, right? Then we'd become slightly above acquaintance-level. Our 'relationship' (if one can call it that) would not really change.
Of course, there is the slight possibility of it being great. Hey, I learned in grade school to always pay attention to the least likely, most improbable possibilities. Here's one of them. So, what would come as a result of that? Probably, again, nothing. I dunno.
I have a confession to make.
I've always wanted to have a close guy friend.
I dunno. I mean, the opposite sexes really aren't that different. And I've always wanted, I can't believing I'm revealing one of my 'deep, dark, secrets' to myself, well, I always dreamed of having a really close best friend. Preferably male. I mean, I could tell him anything! Like which teachers I think are real bitches, or things like video games. You know. "Male things". I can't talk about those things to Tina, after all. A) She hasn't got any of my teachers, so it wouldn't matter, and B) she dislikes "male things". Weirdly enough. Hehe.
So maybe I should say yes.
Oh, what the hell.
Take a chance on me,
Take a chance on me…
Fine. I'll take a bloody chance. Out loud, I blurted, "Ok."
Waking up from my reverie, I looked around. They had apparently left during my little silent reflecting. Though I think quite fast, I thought too long, I guess. But yeah.
They're gone.
This is blinking ridiculous. How could I have deliberated so long, and then never answered? How stupid.
Oh well.
I guess I'll answer with a positive note tomorrow.
Watch me.
Author's Response:
FreckledIrishMaiden: Thanks for the critique; my reviewers have been sorely lacking in that department. Yeah, there was no evident plot structure b/c I wasn't quite sure what kind of story this was supposed to be. But I've decided to do a first person story, which is rare for me. I normally hate first person stories, especially if they don't portray the character the way I see the character, or if they don't give good enough reasons or make enough sense. I don't expect a lot of reviews for this, mainly because if others don't see Lily as I do, that's just fine with me. We're all different. :P I hope you stick around to see the now evident plot in this chapter.
LCH8292: Lol, it's ok. We all sound ditzy once in awhile. Thanks; I spent a lot of time deliberating over what would cause Petunia to hate Lily. I may do a one-shot in the future explaining all the reasons as I see them. Or maybe I'll just write an essay to prove my point. Hehe. And I really like the whole adam/eve story. I completely agree!!
Smay: Never heard of the listmaker! Is it a movie or a book? Or is it fan fiction?
Fairybells3: Lol, thanks!!
Vickiicky: In this chappie! I hope you liked it. Now that I think about it, I should have combined the first two chapters. I just wanted to get the first chapter out, and then… lol.
Vickiicky: (again) Thanks for reviewing both chappies!! Well, I figured it needed a proper ending, and summing it up sounded just right!! :P
Jewels614: Hello. I will see you at the end of January.
Flame of Desire: I totally, totally, TOTALLY agree with you!! All the preps are good at ALL sports (though they complain about nails and stuff). Maybe it's coz we play w/ the guys on all of the rainy days… Hehe. Although some of them are seriously screwed up. There's this one prep who totaled her grandma's car driving it (she was 12 at the time) to the mall. Came back, took her mom's car, crashed that, and ended up in jail. Ugh.
Girl number 1: Woohoo! I will check out your story as soon as I get around to it. :P And thanks for everything you said about my story! Really made my day!! ;D
Galasriniel: I seriously think that most girls are over-analytical and sarcastic. What would the world be like without people like us? ::grins::
girlknight: my lists are almost as weird… except I can't think of an example at the moment. ::sigh:: Thanks for reviewing!!
DobbyGrl: Aww, thank you!! ::bows:: You're a great writer too!!
Ok, here's a little problem. I have a huge, huge, HUGE competition for violin. Ugh. And right after that (3 days) is midterms!! Fun fun. Then I've got a ridiculously short amount of time for my yearbook (I'm co head editor, woohoo!) pages to be in, and yearbook comes before fan fiction. Sorry, but it's true. At the end of February is my sister's birthday, and then the music teacher's national association is hosting a national conference, and my repertoire class got chosen to perform! The only Suzuki group there; woot woot!! After that is auditions tapes for my summer violin camps. So don't expect anything till around March. Goes for all stories. If I get anything done during February, I will post ASAP, and I may even forego the author's response to reviews just to get them in quickly. But anything in Feb or Jan should be considered a rare miracle.