Konnichiwa minna-san! I'm back! Well, I was sitting here watching The Smashing Pumpkins and one of their videos made me think of our favorite dynamic duo. And since I've taken the day off from school, I figured there was no better time to get the chapters I've been working so hard on in my dilapidated little notebook typed up at long last. Many thanks to those who emailed, reviewed and bullied me. I have a horrible memory so that kind of stuff helps, really!
No review responses this time but to SSJ Shadow who figured out why Bulma's new friend is named Bishon En, a reward. I've dropped a cookie with your name on it in the mailbox. Hopefully it'll reach you soon! ) LOL.
Warning: Strong language and adult situations ahead! That would be why this fic is rated R (duh). So don't email me about the language used here. Consider yourself warned.
This chapter is dedicated to everyone who loves The Smashing Pumpkins: "The world is a vampire"…
Bullet with Butterfly WingsLearning to Love: Chapter Fourteen
Bulma. Buruma-chan, me ga sameru. Bulma. Bulma!
She opened her eyes slowly, her head still fuzzy with sleep. "Nani…what's going on here?" the perplexed Queen muttered to no one in particular as she sat up and looked about her sleeping quarters for the source of that voice. There's no one here, she concluded finally as she strained her ears for any sound of an intruder. How weird. I feel as if I know this voice.
Bulma. We are here to help and guide you. We know how you feel about King Vegeta, the voice said softly, almost sympathetically.
The earth woman sat up in bed, her unbound locks tumbling messily about her shoulders. "Where…how is this possible?" she said in bewilderment as she realized the voice was not aloud…it was inside her head.
Do not question how. You must trust us, the gender-less voice said in a matter of fact manner that reminded her of how her parents would sometimes answer a question, "because I'm your mother" or "because I'm your father, that's why."
"I guess I'll trust you for now, whoever or whatever you are," Bulma said, yawning as she ran a hand through her disheveled hair
The voice seemed amused by her statement. We thank you, Your Highness. After a brief moment the voice resumed speaking, however, it was in a much more serious tone than before. You are in grave danger, Bulma. There are those who want you dead.
The blue-eyed beauty sighed, falling back into the pillows. "Tell me something I don't know. I think that if someone really wanted me dead, they'd have done something by now. I think Vegeta's in more danger than I am."
Do not be so nonchalant, Buruma, the voice said sharply as it switched back to her native language. You have done an incredibly stupid thing.
Bulma scowled, disliking the disapproving—and disturbingly familiar—tone the voice had adopted. "Just one fucking minute here. Whatever or whoever you are, you have some nerve showing up in my life like this and judging me when you don't even know me--"
But you're wrong Buruma-chan. We have known you longer than anyone else. Your ups and downs, your joy, your tears. We have been with you through it all, the voice replied in such a loving manner that Bulma was temporarily rendered speechless.
The Saiyans' Queen eased off of her bed with its satin sheets and sat on the carpeted floor, massaging her aching temples with her fingertips. "I don't understand any of this," she said, feeling extremely vulnerable all of a sudden. Buruma-chan? The last person who called me that was my—
We understand why you have been unable to be honest with Vegeta, even if you don't.
The human female stood up slowly and stretched with a loud yawn. "By all means, enlighten me," she said dryly, not even thinking for a second how utterly bizarre it was to be conversing with a voice inside of her head. After all, the rest of her life was spiraling into oblivion, so she may as well be crazy on top of everything else.
Yamcha, the voice said simply.
My Kami, I'd forgotten all about him, Bulma thought guiltily. "What about him?"
You told Yamcha that you loved him and then you lost him. You don't want that to happen again. Because you know too well the pain of losing loved ones, don't you Buruma-chan? The voice sounded so sad now that in spite of herself, Bulma found that she felt an urge to cry.
"No that's not it…at least that's not the whole picture. I want to tell him how I feel. Really, I do! But…I have so many doubts; about me, about him, about us. Does this Vegeta feel the same way about me as Amnesia Vegeta? Was Amnesia Vegeta the polar opposite of the real one or could he be Vegeta how he truly is on the inside without the super ego? Does this new Vegeta resent m-my human frailty? And how can I ever be expected to live up to the same kind of legendary greatness as any of the other Saiyan Queens?" she blurted as she glared at her reflection in her mirror, a part of her hating how very "damsel-in-distress-ish" she felt just then.
You must learn to love, Your Highness. Loving is believing. If you can't believe or trust in either yourself or Vegeta, the man you claim to love, then you don't really love him after all. And as to your fear that you are incapable of ever amounting to as much as the Queens before you, we think you'll find that by standing up to Anyla and by inventing the rejuvenation tank, you've already surpassed them all.
Her Royal Highness's face softened a bit. Loving is believing, huh? She ran a brush slowly through her hair. Can it be that Vegeta is pushing Bishon at me as a means of proving his trust in me? Bulma wondered, her heart seeming to skip a beat.
Before we go, we want to congratulate you and wish you the best, the voice whispered. Farewell, for now at least, Buruma-chan.
A small smile crept across Bulma's face as she realized at last whom she was talking to. Sayonara…Okasan, Otousan.
(Elsewhere in the castle)
"Vegeta! Damn it all boy, will you listen to me for once?"
The King halted in his tracks, crossing his arms over his chest. "What the fuck is it old man?" he rasped impatiently, not turning to look at his father.
Lord Vegeta glared at his son's back, fighting the urge to spin the young man around and shake him as he had when Vegeta was younger. "This, I admit is really none of my business, but I—"
His son swore angrily. "Then do not fucking interfere with--"
"—But I will say my piece regardless," the older man continued as if his son hadn't interrupted. "I've seen the way you look at her Vegeta, though I'm sure you imagine you've hidden it pretty well."
Vegeta growled angrily as he turned to speak to his father. "I will not listen to any more of your--"
"You will, damn you! I'm doing this for one reason, and one reason only, and you know perfectly well what it is, Vegeta."
It was more his father's uncharacteristic seriousness than anything else that made the younger man be silent and meet his father's steely gaze. He shrugged his shoulders, a scowl on his face. "Fine, have your say then, old timer."
Lord Vegeta inwardly sighed with relief. If his son said he'd at least listen to what he had to say, things would go much easier. "Like I was saying, your feelings toward that girl are as easy for me to see as the tail at your waist. But now that you've appointed this playboy half-breed, we've all started to think you're purposefully sabotaging your relationship."
Vegeta's expression seemed to slip for a moment but it returned so quickly to its usual impassiveness that his father believed that this lapse was merely his imagination. When his only child spoke however, Lord Vegeta could sense the effort it took for his son to admit this to him. "I don't pretend to understand every little thing behind why I am doing this, but I will assure you that my intention is not malevolent in any way," he said grimly.
The former King nodded in approval. "And I believe you, son." He stroked the hair on his chin thoughtfully as he sensed his son getting defensive. "But at the same time, I can sense there is something more at work here. It seems as though you're holding yourself back, Vegeta."
The King's crossed arms slowly fell to his sides and his scowl disappeared. "I'm doing this to protect her," he declared lackadaisically, his expression difficult to read.
Lord Vegeta's brows furrowed in concern and he took a step toward his son, his right hand clenched as if he was prepared to personally beat the shit out of whatever was threatening the new Queen. "From what?"
"From who," the younger man corrected, a wry grin on his handsome face.
His father felt a strange feeling then, as if what he heard next would be something he didn't want to hear. "Who is it you feel you need to protect that very capable woman from?" he asked in a light tone, trying not to convey his disquiet.
Vegeta laughed in an entirely humorless fashion, an expression of disgust on his face. "Myself."
(Two hours later)
Kami knows he'd been with his son through all of his scrapes and foibles as a youth (he'd even played a minor role in some of them). But never in all of his years of fatherhood could Lord Vegeta remember being so incredibly furious, exasperated, and proud of his only child at the same time.
He'd stood there in silence after Vegeta had explained things to him for maybe around 60 seconds. During that time, his son neither spoke nor had he attempted to explain himself further. What the older and (in some ways) wiser Saiyan had noticed with some interest was the determination in both his son's eyes and voice. That, more than almost anything had made him feel immense pride for the stubborn King. That, and the fact that the baka is doing this out of his own warped perception of love, not that he'd ever admit to that of course. I only hope that Bulma is smart enough to realize that and that Vegeta is smart enough to recognize his emotions for what they truly are.
Unknown Location
(Some time later)
"Sire, I have done as you asked. Stage two of the plan is going into effect very soon."
There was silence on the other end of the Visual Audio Projector (VAP) as if the higher up person was waiting for something else.
Wincing, she corrected herself. "Forgive me, Lord Freeza, I meant to use your title but in my excitement…"
The reptilian-like creature chuckled in a manner that sent shivers down her spine. "Now, now my dear. I am forgiving, am I not? Your gracious master can overlook this blunder."
"My deepest gratitude, Lord Freeza," she said, immediately attempting to disguise the look of disbelief on her face by bowing more deeply.
"Anyla," Freeza said in a casual tone. "Fail me and know that you sign your own death certificate."
She put a hand over her heart to show her allegiance; relieved he hadn't used one of his more graphic threats. "My life for you, Lord Freeza." The Saiyan woman's lip curled as an unpleasant image came to her mind. That disgusting human bitch all snuggled up with that asshole, Vegeta. And death to the King and Queen of Saiyans, she added in her head, switching off the VAP.
(Somewhere on Planet Freeze)
"Zarbon! You stupid shit, come here at once!"
The pretty boy literally bit his tongue to keep from shouting back an angry retort. "Yes, Lord Freeza?"
The lounging lizard turned in his hover chair to look at the "shit" in question. "You big, stupid bitch," he said lightly, crooking his finger at the handsome alien to come closer. "It looks like your cock-sucking whore will be returning soon. Will that make you happy Zarbon, because I've really grown tired of your juvenile sighing and wailing."
Red-hot color stained his cheeks. To have thought he could have gotten that past Freeza! And it had only been one night where he'd just been really frustrated. "Yes master Freeza, very happy," he said as normally as he could manage.
Freeza laughed, turning his back to the man in dismissal. "Splendid. I'm just glad that diseased wench will have been of good use to the both of us. Does that knowledge not please you, Zarbon?" he asked, his voice indicating that he really didn't give a rat's ass if it did or not.
Au contraire. The green-skinned alien quivered with anger and disgust at the idea of his woman serving Freeza. "Immensely, Lord Freeza," he lied between clenched teeth.
Back on Planet Vegeta
(Moments later)
"Oh that's absolute horse shit," Chichi exclaimed, throwing her hands up in exasperation.
The corners of Kakkarot's mouth twitched upward at his mate's dramatics. "I couldn't have put it better myself."
"Someone ought to sit those two down and give them a good talking to," she grumbled moving to rise from her seat with some difficulty thanks to her widened girth.
"I've learned by now that if there's something you want to do Chichi, you'll do it, but," he hesitated a moment as he saw his mate's rave brows raise expectantly. "Just give them some more time. I really believe that those two will overcome the odds…eventually."
The human woman wrinkled her nose at him. "I want to believe that too Kakkarot, but you can never be sure with stubborn wretches like them. I know because I was the same way. All they need is a little nudge in the right direction."
The pregnant woman winked as she stood at the doorway, poised to leave. "I'll be back soon," she promised.
The Royal Guard sighed and went back to reading the security reports for the day. Women. Doesn't matter what race they are, I'll never understand them.
The Royal Chambers
(About 8 minutes later)
"Bulma, listen, I don't know what's been making you act like this but I want you to stop it."
"Oh Kami, not you too," the earth female sighed, trying to keep the irritation out of her voice as she opened the door to find her friend standing there, a stern expression on her face.
The pregnant woman walked past her, determined to have her say. "Bulma, this is the same kind of stubbornness you used to tease me about in high school. Why can't you just come out and admit your feelings? Th-this kind of hesitancy isn't at all like you Bulma."
Don't I know it, the exasperated Queen thought to herself. "Yes I am aware of how very uncharacteristic of me it is," she admitted, crossing her legs as she unconsciously sat in the corner of the couch Vegeta usually sat in. "And believe it or not, there is a good explanation for all this."
Trying hard not to show her impatience, the raven-haired woman sat across from her friend, her eyes gleaming with anticipation. "Well, let's hear it."
Bulma felt her initial confidence steadily waning as she prepared to bare her secret. Tell her Bulma! For Kami's sakes, it'll shut her up and at the very least it'll take some of the burden off of your shoulders! She cleared her throat, unable to meet her friend's kind gaze. "First, I want you to swear to me that you will tell no one. Not a soul, no matter how tempting it is."
Chichi's brows furrowed. "Of course I won't," she exclaimed, a bit hurt that her friend would ever believe she'd do such a thing. Especially if it's something as serious as this. My goodness, what could it be that Bulma can't even look me in the face as she says it.
The Queen grinned ruefully as she sensed the hurt in her friend's voice. "I'm sorry. It's just…well, this isn't easy for me to bear or even accept, and I know it won't be any easier for you."
"For Kami's sake, just spit it out already," Chichi said breathless, putting her hand comforting on her friend's back.
The spunky genius looked up at her friend, tears of joy, relief, and sadness pouring down her ashen face. "I'm pregnant."
The Throne Room
(A few moments earlier)
"Vegeta-sama, when would you like me to begin?" Bishon asked, raising his brows as h noticed the pensive expression on the King's face. "Is there something troubling you?" he asked, not so much concerned, as he was curious.
Anger flitted across the King's face before it returned to its customary blankness. "En, you will begin your surveillance at this week's end. Lettuco can give you a list of all the technology and resources available to you here. The Lieutenant can provide you with any briefing you may need beforehand."
The handsome playboy raised his shoulder and let them fall in a slow shrug as if to say, "if-that's-the-best-you-can-do-don't-expect-too-much". "And what of the Queen?" he asked quietly, hoping to see more anger in the monkey king's eyes. God knows he deserves any and all heckling he gets from me.
"What's the matter, En? Worried she'll be bored in your absence?" the King sneered. "Never fear, I am perfectly capable of making that woman or any other happy," he said confidently, even as a part of him screamed that was a lie...at least in the case of that particular earth woman.
Bishon scowled, momentarily displaying some of his less obvious Saiyan facial features. The King's rapid response had surprised him; after all, the surly primate had been trapped in his own little dreary thought for a while and the half-breed had been all too eager and ready to push the King's buttons as much as he wanted.
"But of course you are Vegeta-sama," he replied after a moment. "Why else would such a physically, morally and intellectually beautiful person such as Bulma-san be with you if it wasn't for your irresistible charm. If Bulma-san was anything like your first fiancée, I would say your wealth and power had something to do with it." Bishon raised his brows amused at his own wit. "But that's merely speculation on my part."
"Funny, because I'd have to say it was a lot more like mere jealousy on your part," the King said off-handedly, almost as if he didn't much care about the topic at hand.
Earth's most notorious playboy emitted a sharp bark of laughter. "And just what could you have to offer her that I don't have?" he drawled, a smirk on his face and self-doubt in his heart.
The King counted as he spoke, holding up his gloved hands. "Wealth, power, influence, intelligence, valor, self-assurance, strength, good judgement, a sense of identity, not to mention, the support of the entire Saiyan race behind me." He paused, looking up from his ten fingers and raising a brow mockingly. "Shall I continue?"
"Temee..." Bishon En growled, his teeth and fists clenched in anger.
Vegeta waved a hand, dismissing the fuming half-breed, a triumphant smirk on his handsome face. He'd been letting that cocky asshole get away with far too much lately, all in the name of…well, whatever it was he felt for that earth woman. And as dedicated as he was in his efforts to protect her by distancing himself from her, he'd be damned if he was going to let that rotten bastard off thinking he was anyway better for her than he was. He was a real Saiyan after all, and even when "giving up" (in a manner of speaking), he was hard-pressed to do so without putting up a fight. Besides, the little prick has been asking for it lately, Vegeta thought a smirk playing on his roguishly handsome face as he watched the half-human squirm in fury.
"I get the impression you're directing more than just a little bit of hatred toward me, Vegeta-sama," Bishon said softly, forcing himself to calm down (all that scowling was going to have a dangerous effect on his handsome face).
King Vegeta raised his brows in mock astonishment. "I get the impression you're right, En."
The handsome man (who was not that much younger than Vegeta) smirked suddenly. "Well, your mate likes me well enough for the two of you…wouldn't you agree? Not that I can blame her, considering how horribly you've been treating her," he said, smirking in such a self-satisfied manner that Vegeta would have thought to be truly Saiyan if he hadn't been seeing red at that moment in time.
Bulls-eye, Bishon thought, crossing his arms over his chest in an unconscious imitation of the King as he awaited a response.
"Is that what she told you?" Vegeta asked after a moment, his voice and facial expression indicating he was bored with the entire subject, even as his hands clenched so tightly on the armrests of his throne that his knuckles turned white.
En-San didn't notice and mentally put one more tally on his number of reasons why he hated the Saiyan race in general and this one especially. "Bulma-san would never say such a thing," was his response. "But it is in the pained expression on her face, the haunted look in her eyes, the way she sighs when you're mentioned or when she sees you. It is obvious to all of those who have not been living with their heads up their asses," he paused a moment, giving the King a meaningful look that said he was not one of these. "It's obvious that you are the cause of much pain and misery for her."
"You don't—" Vegeta stopped and made an exclamation of disgust. "Why am I even listening to you of all people? Go begin your surveillance as I instructed you before."
"Hai, Vegeta-sama," Bishon said, bowing mockingly before he swept out of the Throne Room.
The gesture was lost on the King whose mind was elsewhere at the moment. A memory of his mate's face formed in his mind. Her sparkling blue eyes staring intently into his own, her mouth slightly parted in anticipation, her face framed by ringlets of azure hair. Yet…behind those eyes and in that voice-which seemed to be so much weaker compared to the voice she had once used to tell him to fuck himself-was there pain and misery he had never noticed?
"Obvious, is it?" he said dully to himself relaxing back in his throne now that the "Great Breaker of Hearts" was gone. Then I will see and judge for myself, he thought, aware that a part of him rejoiced at being able to look upon his mate once again. But I will not be spouting any emotional bullshit like that fool En would. I am merely going to explain—shit, I can't believe I actually feel the need to even do so, the King thought with the slightest trace of amusement. I don't think I've ever felt the need to explain my actions to anyone before. But this, this is a special scenario. I owe this woman something. She saved my life and I nearly raped and killed her. It is for that reason and no other that I am doing this, the Saiyan ruler told himself as he sat in his immense throne room, alone with his thoughts.
(About an hour later)
"I don't feel so well," Chichi murmured as she slowly sat down next to her mate, her legs quivering.
Kakkarot looked up from the reports he was studying. "What's wrong Chichi?" he asked, a frown on his face as he turned to face her.
The pregnant woman closed her eyes and remained silent, breathing deeply in through her nose and out through her mouth in an attempt to calm herself.
"Goku" (as his mate nicknamed him) put the back of his hand to her forehead. "You feel cold. Even for a human." He put his right hand over her heart for about 30 seconds and then raised his brows in surprise. "And your heartbeat! What is it Chichi?"
Only silence answered him and the guard felt himself growing nervous. If Chichi—a strong woman to say the least—was so bothered by something that she was acting this way, whatever it was had to be really bad. Oh shit, Kakkarot thought as he remembered the last place his mate had told him she was going. "Has something happened to the Queen Chichi? If so you've got to tell me!" he said sharply, grasping her shoulders.
The dark haired woman laughed bitterly and muttered something that could have been. "Something happened to her all right. Something terrible." But it could have just as easily have been something else.
King Vegeta's confidante frowned, this time more in exasperation than anything else. "If something's happened to Bulma, Chichi, you have to tell me so that I can--"
"No. Nothing's happened," she interrupted in an extraordinarily calm tone of voice as she gazed into his eyes.
"Then what's got you so upset?"
She grimaced. "I can't tell you. I promised Bulma I wouldn't tell anyone."
Kakkarot sighed as he went back to the reports. "Well, I trust your judgement on this Chichi. I know you wouldn't keep something from me that could endanger the Queen's safety."
The former teacher nodded slowly. I hadn't even considered that-that maybe Bulma won't be capable of safely giving birth. Kami knows, she's no weakling, but physically, I'm in much better condition to give birth to a Saiyan child than her. Maybe…I shouldn't have made that promise. But I'm sure by that time, others will know. But until then, it's going to be tough not asking her about it every time I see her. Why can't things between those two be as simple as they are between Kakkarot and I?
The Royal Dining Room
(Hours Later)
At dinner that very same night, the King seemed more…extroverted than usual. He spoke to all of his dinner guests in turn (save for Bulma, which was something she was used to by now) and to her surprise, Chichi found herself laughing with him, in spite of herself.
She must have told him how she feels, the dark haired woman thought, a smile still lingering on her face. That has got to be the only thing that could have turned Vegeta around this way.
Lord Vegeta knew better. While his son fooled many with his more light-hearted mannerisms, he noticed the way his son's eyes drifted to the Queen's pale face at times while he was in the middle of speaking. And though his expression never changed and his voice never faltered, there was no doubt in Lord Vegeta's mind that his son was concerned.
For her part, Bulma was completely baffled by the King's new temperament. Initially, she'd been worried because her mind kept telling her he was celebrating being rid of her at long last, but after a while, she got over her paranoia and found the change to be somewhat of a blessing. Kami, when have I ever seen Vegeta smile, she wondered, feeling a pang of emotion as she saw him, Bardock, and Lettuco laughing about something. He seemed so carefree, almost as if a tremendous weight had been removed from his shoulders.
All right Bulma, this is it. I will tell him the truth no matter what, the simply dressed woman vowed, spearing the iceberg lettuce she'd had imported from earth in an effort to disguise the shaking in her hands.
As the evening meal went on, the King seemed to be losing steam. He no longer even pretended to find his own anecdotes to be funny. An so, when everyone-even the lead actor in this particular tale-laughed at the King's recount of one of Kakkarot's training blunders that went horribly wrong, and Vegeta merely sat there quietly, a look of determination on his face, everyone else quickly quieted down as well.
"I need to speak with Bulma," he said after a few seconds of silence, not feeling as though he needed to explain further.
He didn't. Everyone seemingly rose as one and walked out of the doors without looking back.
Bulma dabbed her mouth with her crisp, white napkin and then folded her hands in the lap of her beautifully fitted purple dress, waiting expectantly to hear what her mate had to say. I suspect it's going to be something along the lines of, "You have two hours before your replacement comes to pack up your shit," she thought a tad bit angrily. She quickly quashed that emotion. Best to go through this with an open mind.
The powerful Saiyan crossed his arms over his chest and cleared his throat. "You may have noticed that in the last few days, I have been rather…distant, from you." He stopped a moment as if he needed to think of how to best continue.
The Queen found that as he continued, her courage was steadily increasing. "I may have noticed it was a little more quiet around here than we're all used to," she drawled sarcastically, her brows raised as she waited for him to drop the news on her like a sack of bricks.
Vegeta continued as if she had never even said anything. "I've decided that it's best you know the reason behind why I have been doing this. I've been trying to protect you," he said, not looking at her.
"From what?" Bulma asked slowly, not so much afraid of what could be "after her" as she was concerned that something was really bothering her mate.
"Myself."
Her initial reaction was disbelief, then amusement, followed by a surge of an emotion so strong she knew it could only be love. "Why would I need to be protected from you?" she asked gently, a smile on her face.
She didn't seem to be taking things seriously enough and this really frustrated and angered him. After all, all of these precautions he was taking were for her sake, and for her not to appreciate that…! He whirled to face her, his eyes full of his anger. "Because I could have killed you that time!" There. He'd said what he'd wanted to say. Now it was up to her to decide what would be happening next.
"Vegeta, that was a result of something beyond your control," the human female said, smiling reassuringly at him. "I t will never happen again."
The King grunted in agreement. "Damn right it won't. Which is why I will be leaving Vegetaseii for a few months."
Bulma stood up from her chair taking a couple of steps toward him, her eyes locked on his. "Leaving? But you can't!" she said vehemently.
It was Vegeta's turn to raise his brows. "And why not?" he asked incredulously. "Have you some reason why I should stay here?" he ground out harshly, a brief image of Bishon springing into his thoughts.
"Because…I love you and I don't want you to leave," she said softly, her face so full of sincerity that he was taken aback. "Kami knows I fought it every step of the way but there's no denying how I feel anymore." Bulma smiled at the look of surprise on his face. "I know you can never truly love me as I love you, and I can accept that. But there's one more thing, I'm pre—"
"How…why?" he got out, after his stunned silence.
The Queen cleared her throat—believing the King knew what it was she'd been about to say. "Well, my OB GYN told me that it all starts with—"
Vegeta interrupted her again, impatient for an answer to the question he mean to pose. "How did this…feeling…come to be and why?"
Her heart went out to him all the more; the uncertainty in his tone made him all the more precious to her. "I'm not sure when. Probably back when I first met you, though I was too stubborn to admit it to myself or anyone else at the time. And as to why…well, love isn't a choice Vegeta. Love is—"
"Not a choice?" he echoed in a hollow tone, his face darkening as he spoke. He looked away from her as if he found something she'd said to be offensive. "I disagree," the universe's most powerful Saiyan stated self-assuredly. "One can choose if or who they love if there is no bond. And I choose not to."
His reaction didn't surprise her too much, but damned if it still didn't hurt to actually hear him say those words. "I knew you'd say something like that," she said gently, her hands clasped before her in a beseeching manner. "I want you to know that I understand your decision. I—"
"You think you understand me?!" King Vegeta broke in incredulously, a fierce scowl on his face as he turned toward the human female angrily. Bulma winced as he continued, his voice growing steadily louder. "How the fuck could someone like you ever understand someone like me? You're just some scrawny little human bitch with a bug up your ass and big dreams about exercising some kind of power over me, so don't give me that damn 'I understand you' bullshit, because it doesn't work on me!"
Bulma swallowed with some difficulty and looked away from his smoldering gaze, concentrating on a loose thread on the rug beneath her feet. "I-I'm sorry if I came off wrong…I didn't mean to—"
"And why are you acting so fucking docile all of a sudden? Am I supposed to believe this is because of your 'feelings'?" He said the "f" word as if it was a particularly nasty and vulgar word that left a taste in his mouth.
Her hands clenched into fists without her even realizing it as she forced herself to keep an even tone as she responded. "I'm tired of always acting tough around you. I'm tired of pretending I don't give a shit when I really do. If you'd pull your head out of your ass, you'd see that you probably are too."
Vegeta scoffed at that suggestion. "Don't presume you know me," he told her in a much quieter warning tone, even as he felt a surge of some unidentifiable emotion surge through him as Bulma's cerulean eyes met his with that fierce determination he associated with being Saiyan.
"What the hells do you want from me!" the human female exclaimed fiercely. "I've opened up my heart to you for better or worse. The least you could do…" she trailed off, angrily wiping tears from her eyes, refusing to look away.
Her mate's reply was delivered cordially, as he tried to ignore the emotions the sight of her tears invoked. "This is a painful subject for you. Your tears, the changes in you, the confusion…how can you possibly think this love thing is so great when it's obviously so potentially destructive? Before that love shit entered the equation, things were different," Vegeta finished, ignoring the slight throbbing ache between his temples and merely dismissing it as a headache.
It was Bulma's turn to scoff. "Oh come off it," she said angrily, her eyes bright with tears still left unshed. "Since when have you ever taken the easy way out, Vegeta? I don't even think I know you any more," she finished with disgust. The enraged scientist and former teacher walked past him summoning every ounce of her dignity as she concentrated on the exit. He stopped her by grabbing her wrist.
"Wait," he said, a slight frown on his face. "You can't expect me to admit to being or feeling a certain way I don't understand. I know I do feel something for you, but that could be merely lust, a fixation of some kind, or hells, it could even be pity for all I know," he finished, his eyes imploring her to really hear what he was saying.
"I'm not sure you're capable of pity," she said lowly not looking at him as he chuckled. Bulma felt torn between her anger and frustration with the thickheaded Saiyan, and her desire to stay and make him understand her feelings no matter what. How long has it been since we've kissed? She wondered, her pulse quickening beneath his firm, but gentle grip as she imagined their last encounter.
Her reaction came as some surprise. It was as if all of the insults the two had thrown at each other had never been said. Somehow she knew that the hateful things Vegeta had said earlier were more his way of fighting how things around them seemed to be galloping forth without his ability to control or stop them.
I have to keep in mind how hard this is for him. He's had less time than me to think about things. And the very concept of bonding—which I'm sure is the Saiyan equivalent for love, or at least something like love—is not necessarily considered to be a positive thing on this planet. Because in a way, Vegeta was right. Love can be pain and confusion. Bulma took a deep breath and exhaled in an effort to brace her for what she was about to do. And so I will show him the other side of love.
"I promise I won't force it on you ever again," she said gravely, painfully aware of his nearness—his scent, that aura of strength and masculinity that never failed in driving her to distraction. She shuddered slightly.
Vegeta's voice was as tender and warm as a lover's caress as he spoke again. "Bulma--"
The Queen cut him off. She didn't want to stop now or she'd never get this out. "I wanted to tell you this because I'm pregnant." Bulma didn't even bother looking for his reaction. She closed her eyes bit her lip as if an effort to keep further confessions from spilling forth.
"How far along?" he asked in the entirely nonchalant tone of one who was used to hearing this kind of thing.
What the blue-haired Queen noticed right off was how he released her wrist from his grip as he spoke as if he was trying to dissociate himself from her and her unborn child. "Two or three months," was her quiet but at the same time, strong reply as she hugged her arms for warmth. What she wouldn't give to be able to search those onyx orbs for some kind of reaction but she simply couldn't allow herself to do so. At that moment in time, Bulma was extremely vulnerable, and if she saw something she didn't want to see in her mate's eyes, or didn't see something she needed to see there, it would hurt her like nothing in the mortal world ever could.
Yet, when the King turned her around and lifted her chin so she was forced to meet his gaze, she saw no resentment, disgust, or reproach there. What she saw looking out at her was a certain tenderness she would have associated with Amnesia Vegeta. The tears did fall then as she unabashedly met his gaze.
"Why do you cry?" he asked her, gently wiping the tears from her eyes with his thumbs, caressing her face.
Because I'm relieved! I'm ecstatic! You may not love me, but you don't hate our child or me. And I was so worried that you would. The human Queen of the Saiyan race was so emotionally overwhelmed, all she could do was shake her head and fold her lips to keep the sobs from bursting forth.
Vegeta continued, and it seemed to Bulma that he honestly didn't understand the reason for her tears, though he seemed to know it was a difficult question to answer. "Did you think perhaps that I would be angry? That I would demand you terminate it? That I would deny being the child's sire?"
She swallowed with some difficulty. "Well…" she managed, trailing off as she saw the corners of the King's mouth curve upward in a rare smile.
"I think better of you than that. If you really thought I would believe that En bastard had the nerve touch you, maybe you don't know me as well as you think," he said lightly, the soft material of his ever present gloves making lazy circles at a particular spot on the base of her neck.
The Queen closed her eyes as she wrapped her arms around her mate as best she could, resting her head upon his muscular chest. If I can't have his love, than I have the next best things: his trust and respect. I can live with that for now, she thought, smiling as she felt Vegeta's arms return the embrace.
The King held the earth woman close, a part of him wanting to believe that this peace, this sense of "rightness", this feeling (whatever the hell it was, he really didn't want to know) would never end. I always feel this way when I'm with her, a part of his mind said. And he realized it was true. It was only with this human female that he felt at ease enough to show his less cutthroat, "human" side.
But this is merely the calm before the storm, Your Highness a voice that was not his own said in his mind.
As searing pain shot through his skull like a seemingly infinite barrage of red-hot bullets, Vegeta jerked out of the human female's embrace, holding his head and grimacing.
Her face and voice showed her alarm at the sudden change. "What is it?" she cried, temporarily frozen between her fear and her desire to help. "What's wrong, Vegeta?"
Vegeta could barely hear her. The pain was so intense that he staggered back against a wall (knocking over a chair and an inn table in the process) a howl of rage and pain escaping his lips as he fought a strange sensation in his mind. It was as though there was someone there who knew all he knew, felt all he did, and could see all he did.
Tell her, Your Highness. Tell her that this is the beginning of the end for you both, the voice crowed in a disturbingly familiar fashion.
The pain seemed to double then and Vegeta struggled to remain standing…but this was one battle he was not destined to win. His last view before he fell to the floor unconscious was of his beautiful Queen rushing toward him in seemingly slow motion, her face pale with anxiety. "Bulma…" he managed to get out just before the world around him turned black.
Distraught, Bulma didn't even notice when Kakkarot and Lieutenant Bardock entered the room behind her along with a few other soldiers who held ray guns in their hands. She dropped down to Vegeta's side with only one thought in her mind, as she cradled his head to her chest. Her voice was caught in her throat or she would have screamed it aloud for Kami himself to hear. I swear I'll find out what did this to you Vegeta, if it's the last thing I do!
And on that cliché, so ends Chapter Fourteen
TranslationsMe ga sameru: Wake up or Get up (thank you Chris for helping me with this)
Nani: What (if you are a true anime fan, you should know this one)
Temee: you (one of those tricky pronouns. It's a rude way to say you. More like saying "you bastard" or "you bitch". Kind of like kisama).
Otousan and Okasan: Father and Mother (some more commonly used words)
à Oh, just for the record. I know there are some of you who wonder why I have Bishon calling Vegeta, "Vegeta-sama". As you all know, Sama is an honorific term of address. But in this case, Bishon merely uses it to show his contempt. He uses the King's first name (which is a no-no) and "sama" to show his lack of respect for the Saiyan King. This is sort of like when there's someone you don't like who's superior to you (in rank, or something) demands you do something and you say, "yes sir" or "yes, ma'am" (loads of sarcasm just oozing off the italicized words). You give the outward impression of being respectful when that really couldn't be further from the truth.
So, what'd you think? I have some absolutely AWESOME ideas for what's coming up next! Want a hint? Well, there's going to be a death or two (or even three). Just expect the unexpected. Geez, we need some comedy! There's been a lot of angst and some romance, but no humor (well, personally, I enjoyed Zarbon's humiliation at Freeza's hands but that's because I'm evil). I absolutely can't stand that little bugger or his little conniving whore of a gal pal, Anyla.
On this chapter, well, I got sick of the two of them pretending not to care when it's so obvious (to us outsiders anyway) that they do. But then I kind of mess things up with the creepy voice in Vegeta's head. Remind you of anything (besides the whole Majin Vegeta thing)? I wanted to get a lot of things out there in this chapter which is leading up to the big climax of the story (I've actually got my plans written out already! Shocking, I know). I will be taking bribes of one million dollars on up, LOL.
Seriously though, let me know what you thought! And if you have any questions, comments or etc, email Claire at: I'll get back to you ASAP…if you get filtered out or don't receive a reply within a week: gomen, gomen. I check reviews at every couple of weeks so let me know there through a review.
Well, I have a big huge project due first thing tomorrow (see, I don't just procrastinate here…it's my religion), so I will have to say adieu for now. Expect an update by Christmas. I'm going to have a lot of free time on my hands…unfortunately. Hey, that'd be a perfect time to start teaching myself Japanese again.
Ja ne minna-san! And yay for Turkey Day! Or at least, it was Turkey Day when I tried to post this.
Claire-chan/B16
Note/Rant: Some of you may have noticed there was a considerable amount of swearing in this chapter (that isn't saying much since there hasn't been much swearing for a while). Words like "fuck" or "fucking" (5 times), "bitch" (3 times), "shit" or "bullshit" (eleven times) were used in here, and in some instances by Bulma. Outraged? Shocked? Horrified? Then this isn't the story for you. Bulma Briefs is many things but a saint isn't one of them. The same goes for all DBZ characters. Even Goku swears for crying out loud. So, now that I've satisfied my urge to complain about those who believe I shouldn't use profanity in this fic, I'm going to bed.