Summary: Buffy and gang are in L.A. to decide what's next.
Disclaimer: Joss owns all.
Beta' by the wonderful and talented spikespetslayer.
Saying Goodbye
Chapter 1
As the bus drove into L.A., Faith gave Robin directions to the Hyperion. Their hopes of finding Angel, and hopefully shelter, for a couple of days dwindled as they pulled in front of an apparently deserted building. The original Scooby's and Faith walked up to the building to see if they could find out why it was empty. The flyer on the door stated that Angel Investigations had relocated to the Wolfram and Hart building.
"I don't get it! Did I miss something?" Faith asked stunned beyond belief. "No way has Angel joined up with them. They're evil, way evil" Faith filled in the others about some of the dealings that she had and had seen and heard of from the law firm.
"Do we have any other way of getting a hold of Angel or his people? To see what's going on before we jump to conclusions?" Buffy asked, not wanting to think about what it would mean if Angel had crossed over in the short time since she had seen him.
"Hey, I still have Fred's cell number from before my last visit," Willow offered hopefully "with the whole soul thing and all. Let's go find a phone and give her a call."
About thirty minutes later they had talked to Fred. The young scientist was adamant that Angel was still all soul having and not evil. She had also told them that she would let him know that they were in need of accommodations and would send him down to the old hotel and he could explain what they were doing at Wolfram and Hart.
"I just hope its going to be a good explanation." Buffy sighed, the stress of the last few weeks, hell, years, was starting to catch up, and her body seemed to protest every moment.
They didn't have long to wait before the whole group from AI showed up to help get them settled and to make sure that they had all they needed in the way of food and supplies. Shortly after arriving, Wesley called back to Wolfram and Hart for some of the medics and mystics to come and assist the wounded, as they did not want to go to them. Something about being in the middle of the most wicked building in L.A. was not very appealing, even more so since they were injured and could not defend themselves properly.
After everyone was settled into rooms, Angel found Buffy setting in the kitchen area staring at a bottle of water, apparently lost in thought.
"I guess the second front wasn't needed after all. Are you doing alright?" He asked quietly, not sure if she wanted to be disturbed. Her blond hair shift as she glanced up with a thoughtful look and shrugged.
"As good as can be expected, I guess. We made it out - most of us made it out. Not enough of us, but in my mind I know that it could have been worse. So many gave up there lives for a battle that none of them asked for. I just don't understand it any more." She cried out, trying to control her emotions. "Why do The Power keep making us suffer like this. All those deaths, all those girls, Anya, Spike. Why?"
The dark vamp jerked slightly at the sound of his grandchilde's name. He answered quietly as if afraid to speak aloud "I felt it when he dusted."
The tears were falling steady now, she paused, trying to decide how much to tell him of her and Spike's last moments together. "The amulet, it started to glow and it burned him up from the inside. He said he could feel his soul." She turned her hand over to show him the burn from the flame coming off Spike as they had gripped each other's hands, desperate for that last contact, knowing it was going to be their last. "He closed the Hellmouth. He sacrificed himself for the world - no, not for the world, for me. All the times I told him to leave and when I finally got to the point where I didn't want him to go, he's gone, and all I have is this empty feeling inside." Buffy stopped not wanting to talk about the pain of her loss while it was still so fresh. "I think I'm going to lie down for a while. We can talk about the law firm later."
She rose from the chair and walked across to the door before pausing. "Before he burned ... I told him ... that I loved him." She said quietly, looking up at him as she finished.
Brown eyes darkened slightly as a pained look crossed his face. "Did you mean it?" he asked, his voice deep with emotion. As she looked into his eyes Angel had to turn away from the stark pain he saw there. Almost too much to bear was the knowledge of who she was grieving for the most.
"Yes. Angel, I don't know if I can-. I don't know how I going to live without him? He was my - my strength, my salvation for so long, and now he's gone, dust." All that I have left of him is the poems that he wrote for me she thought as the pounding of her heart became erratic. I guess that it will have to be enough. She sobbed softly before leaving the room to allow Angel to absorb her words and their meaning.
The blond turned to make her way to the stairs and her room. Trying hard to not to break down until she made it to the shelter of her room. She curled up in her bed clutching the small book to her chest and let the tears come not bothering to try to stop them. As she finally drifted off to sleep, her dreams filled with blue eyes, and promised herself that she would be with him again one day.