Summary: Buffy and Dawn are getting ready to leave for London.
Disclaimer: Joss owns all.
Beta'd by the wonderful spikespetslayer
Chapter 3 Saying Goodbye
(The next evening)
"Buffy," Angel called, as he entered the hotel and spotted her coming down the stairs. "I thought maybe you and Dawn would like a ride to the airport."
"Thanks Angel, that would be great." Buffy replied quietly. She had been very soft spoken these last few days. This was completely unlike the girl he remembered. He had also noted that she was wearing a lot of black. It was a painful reminder of who she was mourning and why. "Willow and Kennedy just left about an hour ago, and Xander left this morning. Giles and Andrew left yesterday."
"Thank the powers" Angel sighed "I don't know how you guys can be around that kid and not want to strangle him over... and over ... and ..." She put a hand up to stop his tirade with a gentle laugh that was gone too quickly.
"I know what you mean, but he kind of grows on you after a while." Giles had taken the slayers that wanted to train and help with the council, so it had been pretty quiet around the hotel that day. The rest of the slayers that wanted to go home took off the first couple of days that they were there, promising to check in once a month just to let them know that they were safe.
"What about Faith and Robin?" he asked, with just a hint of dislike in his voice to match the look on his face.
"What's this? You and Robin not hit it off?" Buffy's smile only made his dark look deepen.
"Not exactly. What did I do to the guy anyway? He can't come within 10 feet of me without looking like he wants to tear me apart. It's kind of weird being on the receiving end of those looks." Buffy could hear the begrudging respect in the dark vampire's voice.
"His mom was a slayer; he still has some vamp issues. They're leaving as soon as Robin is healed enough to make it to Cleveland." She replied, once again in the subdued voice Angel was coming to despise.
"I bet he and Spike just got along swell then" his sarcastic reply was regretted the moment it left his mouth as her face fell and tears filled her eyes. "Sorry I didn't mean to -"
"It's alright, you can talk about him. I want to talk about him. He deserves to be remembered." Her voice resounded with strength that he hadn't seen since the group had arrived days before.
"Listen, what you said the other day, about loving him -"
"I told you I meant it." The anger coming so quickly that he backed up a few steps.
"I know, I'm not questioning that. Still having trouble believing, but not denying that it's true. I just wanted to know what that means to us, and about what your plans are for the future." Slowly she walked to the large sofa in the lobby and sat down with a thoughtful look. What did she want? Before, everything was so easy. Every time he brought it up she had been all avoidy. She knew what she had wanted in the past, Angel, but then he left and she was alone. There were others, the so-called "normal" boys, trying to move on. Then there was Spike. Who had forced himself into her heart with a single-minded determination, but now he was gone, and she didn't know if she had the strength it would take to move on.
She felt like she had lead two different lives. Separating themselves with her last death and resurrection. The first life with Angel and the time spent trying to get over his leaving. The second with Spike and his unwavering belief that they were meant to be together even in the face of her rejection. The first life felt so far away, even though it had only been a couple of years.
"Angel, I don't know what the future holds for either of us. I know that I will always love you, but I'm not sure that I'm in love with you. You said once before that we don't live in each others worlds anymore. At the time I wanted to deny it. But the way I feel now I know it's true. My world just died 4 days ago. Our past is just that, it's in the past. Maybe someday we could start over, a new beginning, but for now I just need find out who I am. Not Buffy, the slayer, but Buffy, a slayer, a woman, a sister, a friend. I need to know for me, before I can even think about a relationship with anybody."
"I told you before; I'm not getting any older. We'll just have to see what happens. I just want you to be happy. If anybody deserves it, it's you."
"We better load up, get Dawn, and head to the airport, don't want to be late for our flight." Buffy silently moved closer to Angel before coming together in an awkward hug. The clumsy, apologetic way they back away from each other only reminded them that things we're definitely not how they used to be.
The slayer grinned, turning to looking at Angel. "You know Andrew worshipped Spike right? He used to talk about him and call him a Greek god or something like that."
"I knew it, I knew there was something wrong with that kid!" Angel said loudly, following Buffy's lead and trying to lighten the mood.
She moved toward the door, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders, knowing that Angel wouldn't push. "He used to follow him around, trying to copy his moves, catch him half dressed..." Giggling as she lifted some of her luggage at the bottom of the stairs.
"Spike groupies? I never thought I'd live to see that day." Angel chuckled as he carried the last of the bags outside to the waiting car.
Neither noticed the person on the stairs with tears in her eyes. She had overheard most of the conversation. She couldn't help but share the pain that her sister felt from the loss of the blond vamp. Knowing the time ahead she would be needed to help her as much as she could. She just hoped that she was strong enough for them both. Wishing once again that she had made her peace with Spike before the final battle, knowing she had lost her chance, and hoping that where he was he knew how much she and her sister missed him.
TBC
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ä #"#ì#D#œ#ô#L#¤#ü!ÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÿÜ#Ü#ÐÐÓÓÓÕÐÐÑX#P#ô#\ PŽ6QX#PÑÓÓSummary: Buffy and Dawn are getting ready to leave for London.
Disclaimer: Joss owns all.
BetaÀÀd by the wonderful spikespetslayer
Chapter 3 Saying Goodbye
(The next evening)
"Buffy," Angel called, as he entered the hotel and spotted her coming down the stairs. "I thought maybe you and Dawn would like a ride to the airport."
"Thanks Angel, that would be great." Buffy replied quietly. She had been very soft spoken these last few days. This was completely unlike the girl he remembered. He had also noted that she was wearing a lot of black. It was a painful reminder of who she was mourning and why. "Willow and Kennedy just left about an hour ago, and Xander left this morning. Giles and Andrew left yesterday."
"Thank the powers" Angel sighed "I don't know how you guys can be around that kid and not want to strangle him over... and over ... and ..." She put a hand up to stop his tirade with a gentle laugh that was gone too quickly.
"I know what you mean, but he kind of grows on you after a while." Giles had taken the slayers that wanted to train and help with the council, so it had been pretty quiet around the hotel that day. The rest of the slayers that wanted to go home took off the first couple of days that they were there, promising to check in once a month just to let them know that they were safe.
"What about Faith and Robin?" he asked, with just a hint of dislike in his voice to match the look on his face.
"What's this? You and Robin not hit it off?" Buffy's smile only made his dark look deepen.
"Not exactly. What did I do to the guy anyway? He can't come within 10 feet of me without looking like he wants to tear me apart. ItÀÀs kind of weird being on the receiving end of those looks." Buffy could hear the begrudging respect in the dark vampireÀÀs voice.
"His mom was a slayer; he still has some vamp issues. They're leaving as soon as Robin is healed enough to make it to Cleveland." She replied, once again in the subdued voice Angel was coming to despise.
"I bet he and Spike just got along Ã#Ãswell Ä#Äthen" his sarcastic reply was regretted the moment it left his mouth as her face fell and tears filled her eyes. "Sorry I didn't mean to ©ÀÀ
"It's alright, you can talk about him. I want to talk about him. He Ã#ÃdeservesÄ#Ä to be remembered." Her voice resounded with strength that he hadn't seen since the group had arrived days before.
"Listen, what you said the other day, about loving him ©"
"I told you I meant it." The anger coming so quickly that he backed up a few steps.
"I know, IÀÀm not questioning that. Still having trouble believing, but not denying that it's true. I just wanted to know what that means to us, and about what your plans are for the future." Slowly she walked to the large sofa in the lobby and sat down with a thoughtful look. What did she want? Before, everything was so easy. Every time he brought it up she had been all avoidy. She knew what she had wanted in the past, Angel, but then he left and she was alone. There were others, the so©called "normal" boys, trying to move on. Then there was Spike. Who had forced himself into her heart with a single©minded determination, but now he was gone, and she didn't know if she had the strength it would take to move on.
She felt like she had lead two different lives. Separating themselves with her last death and resurrection. The first life with Angel and the time spent trying to get over his leaving. The second with Spike and his unwavering belief that they were meant to be together even in the face of her rejection. The first life felt so far away, even though it had only been a couple of years.
"Angel, I don't know what the future holds for either of us. I know that I will always love you, but I'm not sure that I'm Ã#ÃinÄ#Ä love with you. You said once before that we don't live in each others worlds anymore. At the time I wanted to deny it. But the way I feel now I know it's true. My world just died 4 days ago. Our past is just that, it's in the past. Maybe someday we could start over, a new beginning, but for now I just need find out who I am. Not Buffy, Ã#Ãthe Ä#Äslayer, but Buffy, Ã#ÃaÄ#Ä slayer, a woman, a sister, a friend. I need to know for me, before I can even think about a relationship with anybody."
"I told you before; I'm not getting any older. We'll just have to see what happens. I just want you to be happy. If anybody deserves it, it's you."
"We better load up, get Dawn, and head to the airport, don't want to be late for our flight." Buffy silently moved closer to Angel before coming together in an awkward hug. The clumsy, apologetic way they back away from each other only reminded them that things we're Ã#ÃdefinitelyÄ#Ä not how they used to be.
The slayer grinned, turning to looking at Angel. "You know Andrew worshipped Spike right? He used to talk about him and call him a Greek god or something like that."
"I knew it, I knew there was something wrong with that kid!" Angel said loudly, following Buffy's lead and trying to lighten the mood.
She moved toward the door, feeling a weight lift off her shoulders, knowing that Angel wouldn't push. "He used to follow him around, trying to copy his moves, catch him half dressed..." Giggling as she lifted some of her luggage at the bottom of the stairs.
"Spike groupies? I never thought I'd live to see that day." Angel chuckled as he carried the last of the bags outside to the waiting car.
Neither noticed the person on the stairs with tears in her eyes. She had overheard most of the conversation. She couldn't help but share the pain that her sister felt from the loss of the blond vamp. Knowing the time ahead she would be needed to help her as much as she could. She just hoped that she was strong enough for them both. Wishing once again that she had made her peace with Spike before the final battle, knowing she had lost her chance, and hoping that where he was he knew how much she and her sister missed him.
TBC