"Willow." It was all connected. It all came back together. Willow was the key. It was a circle. Buffy knew this now. She'd known that she would have to rescue her friends from Hell, and she'd also known that she'd have to save her baby. The Powers' sense of irony wouldn't be complete without the two things being an answer to each other.
She would have to tell Angel. And Millicent. An odd reluctance overtook her. She had the answer now, or at least she thought she did. She knew Angel would be eager to accept her idea, to bring back those they loved. Though his own 'family' was lost to the fire, there would still be rejoicing at a reunion between him and the Scooby gang. She thought even Xander would be pleased to see Angel.
Perhaps her reluctance had something to do with her ingrained aversion to resurrection. Sense memory reminded her of the feel of splinters in her knuckles and dirt falling down around her. The feeling of being unable to breathe. The utter confusion and betrayal that she couldn't understand or escape.
She didn't want to be responsible for bringing that on someone else. What if the Powers were lying? What if they had lied to her to manipulate her into something else? She grasped at straws to avoid finding the truth. Because the responsibility of bringing all her friends back into this world--of giving birth to them, in a way, was just too much for her.
It hit her then, all that she was taking on. She was the Slayer. She was going to be a mother. She was a girlfriend. The weight of those that depended on her weighed her down. The burden of Irene's soul was like anathema to her. She wanted to run away. She'd thought that she was getting a fresh start when she was resurrected for the third time. Third time's the charm, right?
But all that had happened was that she was back in her old life, more alone than ever, and expected to have grown up and grown past all the petty fears of that other life.
Well, it hadn't happened yet.
She was scared. But she'd been scared before. She knew how to deal with it. After all, the biggest part of being a Slayer was killing the fear that came so naturally to a human being.
She walked down to Angel. She ran into other people on her way down the stairs, and it occurred to her to wonder what they thought of her. She hadn't exactly kept them in the know, and they had to know that something was wrong with Angel. The suspicious looks they gave her and the berth they left between her and themselves let her know that they were beginning to have a problem.
Perhaps it was Irene that they were scared of. Buffy knew her child was powerful, but she didn't know her boundaries. Maybe they could feel something wrong with her. Maybe Irene was projecting an aura of danger. She put her hand to her belly uncomfortably. She didn't like feeling like this.
She skirted the people she met in the halls. She took the stairs, mournfully passing the elevator, which had stopped working ever since the power went out, a few months ago. Nothing was wrong with the equipment, but the machines couldn't work without the people to run them. It was like living in the Dark Ages, looking back at the things that had come before and realizing how the mighty had fallen.
Buffy found Angel easily. He was on the first floor, speaking quietly with Millicent. She took him aside, walking as though in a dream.
"Angel," she said. "I've figured it out. Willow is the key. She's the only witch powerful enough to find Irene's soul and return it to her. She's the only answer. Thanks to that spell she performed to save them from the fire, we don't even have to actually do a resurrection. We just need to find a way to undo what she did. That won't be as hard."
The light of realization dawned on Angel's face. "Of course!" he said. "It makes sense. The powers...they led us around in a circle. They left us the clues, the arranged it. Of course it comes back to the Scoobies." He turned to face her. "I believe you, Buffy."
Irene gave a particularly vicious kick. "But it better be soon," Buffy said, "Because I don't know how much longer Irene is going to wait."
Of course, it wasn't like all their problems were solved. They still didn't know what spell Willow had used, or how they might reverse it. Millicent was able to offer no help, and they had no idea where they would be able to find texts dealing with the subject. If there even were any.
Despair was filling her up again. But as was her talent, she was able to turn that despair to rage. She turned to the wall in her room and punched yet another hole in it. Her fist hit the stud and she felt her knuckles crack. She grinned masochistically as she thought that she might have broken the bone.
Gingerly, she pulled her hand out of the hole. Bits of plaster and wood fell as she pulled her arm free. There was blood on her knuckles, and her whole hand was coated with a mixture of blood and crushed plaster.
Grimacing, she wiped her hand on her shirt. She surveyed the hole critically. It was then that she noticed the piece of paper sticking out prominently in the darkness. Just the corner of it, a lonely cream-colored fragment.
She reached in and withdrew it carefully. She felt the texture and reflected that it was old. The paper was crinkly and yellowed in her hands. Carefully, she laid it out on the desk and smoothed it down.
There were some symbols drawn on it. What looked like blueprints for the building's foundation, only very simple. At each corner, there were small symbols for fire, earth, water, and air. A pentagram resided in the center, with an arrow drawn to it, and a caption written in some other language.
She folded it carefully back up and went to go find Milli and Angel. Maybe they would be able to read it, since she couldn't make heads nor tails of it.
"It looks like a protection spell, as far as I can figure." Millicent turned the map upside down, then sideways. Then upside down again. "See these symbols? Fire, water, earth, and air. The four elements. Their positioning around the perimeter suggests that a spell was cast to protect the hotel when it was built, using the elements and their guardian spirits to keep out the bad ones and form a circle of protection."
She went on. "And do you see these runes here? These are what make it an especially powerful protection spell. Instead of just repelling the evil spirits away from itself, it actually repels itself away from the evil spirits. The hotel exists on a slightly different dimension than its surroundings. The elements keep it anchored to our dimension, but whenever it or its occupants are threatened, it sinks slightly into this alternate dimension, protecting itself from any harm."
Millicent set the map on the desk, and placed her hands on her hips. She seemed very pleased with herself. Buffy was slightly surprised. She hadn't known that magick was so closely connected with science. Of course, she'd failed high school chemistry, so it didn't make a difference, really, but at least now she knew why she didn't understand magick.
Angel hadn't said anything at all during this explanation, but rather looked at a spot on the floor and seemed as though his mind was far, far away.
Finally, he spoke. "Is it possible that this is the same type of spell that Willow used when she tried to protect them all from the fire and demons?"
Millicent looked startled. "I--I suppose. I mean, the idea of repelling yourself from the evil forces is the same, but I don't see how that helps us..."
"If we get the building to sink into its protective state, is it possible we would be in the same dimension as Willow and all the others?"
Millicent shook her head. "That's very unlikely. I mean, there are thousands of different dimensions, each one only slightly different than the others. While this spell is similar, it's very unlikely that we would end up in exactly the same dimension..."
"Well, what if we modified it a little?" Buffy asked. "If it were threatened by fire, wouldn't it react exactly the same as Willow's spell?"
Again, Millicent shook her head. "No, the fire Willow was trying to escape was quite different. Unnatural fire from the sky..."
They looked at each other. "We could recreate that."
Millicent began to get excited. "You know, you're right. Even if we only got close, the nature of dimensional travel is such that it would create a slight rip in this spot through every dimension nearby. The protection spell will prevent any side effects, and once we're there, all it would take was a quick locator spell, or even a magickal flare, and we would be able to get Willow to us."
She looked up with excitement brimming in her eyes. Her expression said that she didn't know who to thank for this wonderful idea. "I'll get right on modifying the spell. We want to get as close to correct as possible, and I think I know a way to help a little."
She turned, walked a few steps, turned around, and said, "I'll let you know if it works. This is so freakin' cool!"
Then she trotted down the corridor toward her room, map clutched firmly yet gently in hand, and barely restraining herself from running.
Buffy smiled. "This is weird. For the first time in months, I feel like I actually have a shot of being truly, completely happy. Like everything's gonna work out."
Angel wrapped her in his arms. "I know what you mean. Only replace months with centuries, and you will understand."
Buffy pouted. "Drama queen."
"Valley girl."
They embraced, not knowing the trouble that lay before them still.