This is mostly a season 7 parody. But with a little twist! just read it

Part 1. Bleach blonde sex.

Buffy was sitting at her desk at the school, she was determine to take this job seriously, considering she quit her job at the Doulemeat Palace before finding out it paid more than a part time counselor with no college education.

"I can sooo be a grownup. I'll show them" Buffy said as she drew little hearts and stars in the students files on her desk.

Then, Anya walked in the office, with her brunette hair, and headed to Buffy's desk "Buffy, I have something important to tell you"

"Ooh I like your hair like that" Buffy complimented.

"Really? Because if you prefer me blonde I can change it back" Before Buffy could say anything Anya left. 30 minutes later Anya was back, now blonde "Better?"

"Sure why not?" The slayer said as she did her trademark eye-rolling "What did you want to tell me?"

"Oh right. I thought you might want to know this because you're the vampire slayer and all" Anya said loudly in a room full of people. But is not like the people of Sunnydale pay attention to what's going on around them "A large group of vampires are having sex around the school"

"But it's morning. Vampires go puff" The slayer said innocently.

"I know. But these vampires are out there screwing each other silly. But there's more, these are all bleach blonde male vampires" Said the vengeance demon thinking she should try that hair color.

"Bleach blonde male vampires are having sex in broad daylight around the school? This sounds like a job for the Scooby gang" Buffy stated and she and Anya headed to Buffy's house.

At the Summer's household, Dawn was coming down the stairs, even though it was a school day as we just saw on the previous scene, but is not like the editors of this show pay attention to these insignificant facts.

Dawn walks into the kitchen, where Willow and Tara are making out. Dawn's suddenly confuse "Wait a minute, you were dead"

The couple separates and looks at Dawn confuse as well "Who was dead?" said Willow as she wrote a note on the fridge that said she was gay, you know in case anyone forgot.

"Tara! She was killed off three months ago!"

"I was dead?" Said a very confuse Tara.

"It was a plot device of last season. The reason Willow went back to using magic"

"When was I not using magic?" The redhead said as she floated some dishes around in a gay way.

"When you got addicted!"

The young couple laughs at Dawn's statement "Magic's addicted? That's just stupid, sweetie" Tara told Dawn in her most nurturing way.

"And why would someone killed off Tara. That would be the stupidest mistake ever made. One would be unbelievably dumb to use Tara's death to get me back to using magic. Magic that's addicted. The same magic we've been using all these years" Willow stated.

Dawn was gonna argue but she have to admit that Tara being kill off and magic being addicted would just be the worst plots ever. Ever.

Suddenly, Anya and Buffy walk in "We have a problem. Bleach blonde male vampires are having sex around the school" Buffy said as she put her hands on her hips to look in charge.

"In the middle of the day?" Tara asks sweetly. Buffy nodded as she rolled her eyes for no reason what so ever "But how?" The witch asks again.

"That's what we need to find out. Willow do you have any idea of why this is happening?" Buffy asks the freeloader living at her house-I mean, her friend.

"Hello? Gay now!" The girls didn't understand what that had to do with anything "Don't know nothing about naked men" The witch added.

"What about Oz?" Dawn asks so people would look at her. Nobody did.

"What about Oz?" Buffy asks. Dawn decided to cut herself so people would look at her. Nobody did.

"Who's Oz?" Willow asks confuse.

Tara put her hand on her lover's shoulder and sweetly answered her question "Your ex-boyfriend, honey"

"What are you talking about? I'm gay! I've always been gay. Ask Joss"

Then, Joss Whedon stood from his director's chair and stepped into the scene "Willow's always been gay. She's been gay since season one" After his statement he returned to his chair.

"See? Told you" Willow said proudly as she inappropriately touch Tara.

"Whatever. But we need to figure this out, 'cause this needs figuring" The slayer demanded.

Then, Xander walked in, because his also part of the show, although some people forget "Hey Everybody! I got news. Bleach blonde male vampires are having sex in broad daylight around the school"

"We know" Anya told her ex-fiancée "That's why we're here"

"But, there's more. Their wild and physically impossible sex destroyed one of the buildings of the school" Xander told his friends.

"Bleach blonde male vampires are having sex that can take down buildings?" Buffy thought, suddenly realizing who to go to "Spike! He probably has something to do with this.

"How do you know that's Spike has something to do with it?" Xander ask. The girls gave him an annoyed look because he didn't get it, as usual.

Buffy decides to go to the school basement to look for Spike. They all walk back to the high school even though Xander and Buffy's cars were park right in front of the house.

The gang got to the basement, but Spike didn't seem to be there. After many minutes of looking under boxes, they deduce he wasn't there. But just before they left Buffy found a note from Spike.

"Dear Pet, I've gone. Ever since I got this bloody soul back, I started the get the need to brood. So I'm going to see peaches at LA, so he can teach me how to be a brood master like him"

The gang looked at each other. They knew what was coming next. They're crossing over to the WB.