A/N: i dont know if there´s someone still reading this, but Im finishing this fic! If someone takes the time to read it, thank you, and please review me so I know someone read it.
Part 4. The other side of Rupert Giles.
The group of Scoobies and Champions appeared in England, thanks to Willow's spell. Since is daylight Angel has to stay under a tree. Willow and Tara remember they took England to UPN, they're back on their network, so they start having graphic sex. The real Cordelia decides to blow them off and check some European store, like the real Cordelia would and she takes Xander so he can buy her stuff.
So, Buffy, Fred and Oz decide to look for Giles. They followed the big signs that say 'Rupert Giles, Buffy Summers former watcher this way'. After a few minutes, they find Giles's place. Buffy kicks the door down. Why? Because she has anger issues. I mean, knock first sometimes slayer. They enter the flat, and hear some very strange moaning noises coming from upstairs "What is that?" Ask a very creep out Fred.
"Sounds like me and Spike last season" Buffy said as she remembers those days.
"Man, do you like dead guys" Oz pointed out.
The trio goes up the stairs. They find a door that say 'do not enter', so naturally Buffy kicks it down. Some smokes comes out of the room to reveal Giles, Ethan Rayne, Phantom Joyce, Phantom Jenny Calendar and Michael Jackson are having a very weird magical sex orgy. Buffy was outrage "Giles! You're having wild sex! I'm the one who has wild sex! It's my THING!" Buffy said as she punch Michael Jackson's face.
"Dear lord" Giles said as he cleans his glasses, which was the only thing he was wearing.
"Yeah! Told you Giles was a wild man" Oz teases.
"This is very uncomfortable" Fred says as she tries not to look at the naked people.
Giles moves some crystal and the ghost women disappear. Ethan picks up his clothes and leaves. Buffy throws Michael Jackson's body out the window and turns to roll her eyes at her former watcher "What the hell is going on here Giles?!" the slayer demanded.
Giles puts a robe on and explains to the group "You weren't meant to see that"
"I understand why my mother and Ms. Calendar, I even understand Ethan, but why Michael Jackson?"
"I'm a very troubled man" Giles tries to explain "I spend the last five years hanging around teenagers"
"Is this why you were so desperate to leave the show?" Buffy asks.
"Buffy, I rather not discuss this" Giles avoided.
"Fine. We need to find Spike. Where is he?" Buffy said.
"How should I know?" Giles stated.
"Well, you are the only former cast-member that lives here" Buffy stated.
"Wait. That was the only reason we came here?" Fred asks fed up with Buffy's stupidity "Why don't we look for Spike around the city" She offers.
Buffy started to think on how would they get around. Suddenly, a crash is heard from downstairs. The group runs down the stairs, well, actually they stumble into each other and fall down the stair, well, actually their stunt-doubles fall down the stair, they just wait down.
The crash was cause by Angel's car. Dawn and Connor made to England "Dawn, how did you get here so fast?" The slayer asks her annoying sister.
"We used the same way that Spike used last season to get to Africa in a day" Dawn said as she got out of the car to reveal she was pregnant.
Buffy eyes widen "You borrowed MY sweater! And you stretch it" Buffy said angrily.
"Don't you see that Connor got her pregnant?" Fred pointed out to Buffy.
"Buffy's going to be an aunt" Oz teases.
"She's my family" Connor sneer.
"Then that means you're MY family. Because Dawn's a part of ME" Buffy stated.
Angel comes into the house. What? How he got out from under the tree? I don't know. I wasn't there. Maybe he stole an umbrella from an old lady or something.
Angel checks to see if the boxes of hair gel are fine. After he counts them 200 times, he grabs Connor and starts to spank him "Do NOT touch daddy's HAIR GEL!" He says while spanking his hell spawn.
"Yes daddy. I'm been a bad boy" Connor said as he seem to be enjoying it "More daddy, more, I've been naughty"
"Ok that's it" Fred said as she quit the show, it was just too weird for her.
Suddenly, Dawn's stomach shoots a beam of light "It's coming, it's coming!" Dawn shrieks as she falls to the ground. The beam reveals the form of a very annoying woman "get out, get out, GET OUT!" Dawn shrieks as she falls into a coma. The light goes and we can see who the annoying woman is. The Marti.
Buffy, Giles, Oz, Angel and Connor look in horror. They though The Marti was gone. But she's back. The Marti disappears.
"No! She's back!" Why?" Buffy begins to cry.
Wesley arrives in a Wolfram and Hart helicopter "She plan this from the beginning" he started to explain "She needed to enter in this world. So she used the most annoying characters to give birth to herself"
"Of course! The Bleach blonde vampires" said Willow as she and Tara came in after they had finished their lovemaking.
"Yes. It was birth pains" Wesley continues "She drove you here so you wouldn't find out what she was doing"
"What did she do?" Willow asks in her gay way.
"She kidnap Spike" Wesley answered.
"No! Spike is MINE!" Buffy stated.
"Why don't you shut the hell up!" Tara said stepping out of her sweet character "We need to get to Sunnydale you morons"
"Tara's got a backbone! She's doing an out of character thing!" Buffy points out.
"It's the Marti" Willow says "She's changing things! She could make magic addicted!"
The group decides to go back to the Hellmouth. Buffy, Angel, Wesley, Tara, Willow and Oz got on Angel's car and take the magical way to Sunnydale. Giles takes Connor upstairs. Cordy gets cast in a movie. Faith gets out of prison. And everyone forgets that Dawn's still in England in a coma.