After they were heroes: What became of the Fellowship of the Ring
Ten years on, we catch up with the nine members of the Fellowship, and what they are doing now.
Pippin: Well it was always pretty obvious that me and Merry were become more than just friends, but we didn't come out and admit it until Frodo left. We moved to Rohan, as sodomy is unfortunately illegal in the Shire.
Merry: Pippin and I now have a lovely little cottage in the Westfold, and last year we adopted an underprivileged orc from the Mines of Moria. We work as blacksmiths, and I like taking my shirt off.
Sam: Me and Rosie have 9 kids, including Arwen Gamgee, Frodo Gamgee and Samwise Gamgee Jnr. Last year I came 3rd in a village idiot contest!
Gimli: After losing my competition with Legolas over how many orcs we could each kill, I became very depressed. I was in a dark place - the bottom of a mine. But after a few months moping around crying into my beard I eventually turned my life around and set out on another adventure. I eventually found myself in the Lonely Mountain, and there I plan to spend the rest of my days.
Sam: Me and Rosie have 9 kids, including Arwen Gamgee, Frodo Gamgee and Samwise Gamgee Jnr. Last year I came 3rd in a village idiot contest!
Legolas: After the defeat of Sauron, I decided to branch out into other products. I now have my own clothing line, record company, hot sauce and in particular my exclusive range of fat fighting grills. I'm so proud of them, I engraved them with my name in Elvish sigils.
Gandalf: Well my young interviewer friend, after I had defeated the unspeakable evil lurking in Mordor I set sail from the Grey Havens with Elrond and Frodo. However, on the journey I relaised what an tit Elrond is. I still don't speak to that pointy-eared, ct faced motherfr and if you fools cross me I'll pop a curse in yo' ass.
Frodo: I never really recovered from being the ring bearer, and I'm afraid that I've never been able to talk except in the small wispy voice I annoyingly adopted once I got my hands on that damned ring. Then that badass Gandalf called me a busta fool and hit me with his staff. I woke up on this island with the ships sailing away.
Aragorn: Unfortunately we could not secure an interview with the erstwhile King of Gondor, as two years after his coronation he was found riddled with curse holes in an apparent ride-by killing. An elderly gentleman on a white horse was seen riding away quickly by amazed onlookers. One said "I'll know him if I see him because he was one crazy motherfr".
And Boromir is still dead.