Hutch watched in horror as Bellamy collapsed, dead with a bullet fired by his partner. He looked up at the frail looking figure leaning on the wall. Oh God, Starsk, what have you done? He ran towards his partner, heart hammering in his chest, with the realization that the one hope they'd had for finding an antidote for Starsky, was now dead. Shot dead by his victim. He gently removed the gun from Starsky's hands and looked at the white and trembling man next to him. His partner, his friend had just destroyed his own last chance for survival. Hutch bowed his head, closing his eyes, knowing an acknowledgement had to be made, but unsure of what to say. His own life had been saved, but his best friend's life had probably been forfeited.
"Thanks, but buddy, what did you have to do that for?"
"Seemed like a good idea at the time." Starsky could barely whisper as he looked into the horrified face of his best friend. He knew what he'd done and what the price would be, but it didn't matter. When he'd seen his partner at risk, with a gun pointing at him, the only thing that had mattered to him was saving his life. He felt sick and was in a great deal of pain, but he had no regrets. No choice had been necessary. With a final look at his devastated friend, he allowed himself to give into the pain that had been fighting to claim him since they'd arrived at Bellamy's. His last coherent thought was that Hutch was safe.
Hutch's eyes filled with tears as he saw how close to collapse Starsky was, and he caught him as he fell into unconsciousness. Hutch felt his heart break as the pain of watching his friend die caught up with him. The frantic hours leading up to this point had not given him time to deal with the reality. He'd been forced to put all his energies into finding an antidote, for the thought of failure was devastating to him. He'd been there to hold and comfort Starsky as the pain became unbearable, but he hadn't yet allowed himself to deal with the reality of losing his best friend and partner. The reality of what it would be like for him. He'd even joked about it. "But I'll be walking around tomorrow," had been his flippant remark as they discussed whether it had been a good idea or not for Starsky to leave the hospital.
At no time had Hutch allowed himself to consider what his life would be like without his stubborn, aggravating partner and best friend. He gathered the figure in close, holding on to him tightly, as if by doing so, he could prevent the inevitable. He sobbed as he knew that their time was running out all too fast, and he allowed the despair to overwhelm him. He was filled with regrets about all the things he should have, but hadn't said. Words he should have spoken.
"It's okay buddy, it's okay. I've got you." Hutch found some comfort in talking to Starsky. There was so much he needed to say, and he needed Starsky to hear him. He knew he had to get his partner to the hospital, and without even consciously thinking, he picked him up awkwardly. This hadn't been the first time he'd had to carry his partner, but it would probably be the last. The thought was devastating to Hutch. They had a long flight of stairs to go down, but he wasn't inclined to wait for the ambulance. He also needed the contact of holding on, maybe if Starsky could feel him, then he'd fight. Maybe.
"Oh Starsk, you've gotta hold on, babe. Please don't give up. I'm gonna get you to the hospital, and then you and me are gonna have a great vacation and laugh about this." Hutch swallowed a sob. Starsky was heavy, and it was hard to deny what was happening to him. Hard to talk about a vacation which would never happen. He wouldn't be going on any vaction without his partner. He wasn't even sure how he could face life without him. He looked at the sweaty, unconscious face of his best friend as he staggered towards the top of the stairs.
"Hey mister, do ya want some help?" Hutch looked up at the sound of the voice, unaware he had tears pouring down his face.
"Nah, I'm gonna get my friend to the hospital. You'd best call the cops as there's a body up there."
"He looks heavy, I'll help ya carry him down. You might drop him."
"NO! Not gonna drop him and don't need help. Just call the cops, will ya." Already, Hutch was at the top of the stairs, balancing precariously. There was no way he was going to drop his partner, but it wasn't going to be an easy walk down. It was time for me and thee, perhaps for the last time ever. There was no room for strangers now. Not that there had ever been.
"Hey buddy, when this is all over, you'd better consider eating less burritos and donuts. If you're going to persist in making me carry you, that is." Hutch was whispering, sobbing at the same time as he started his awkward climb down the stairs, trying not to jostle or knock his friend. It was difficult, as there was not a lot of room to manoeuvre. He winced as he felt Starsky's legs knock against the banister but he was determined he'd get to the bottom of the stairs without falling, or dropping his precious burden. He had to stop momentarily to catch his breath. It wasn't easy carrying his unconscious partner but no-one else was going to do it.
"You know, buddy, I don't want to let you go. You've got to fight this, babe, with everything you've got. I'll never understand what I did to deserve your friendship. I just want you to know you're the most important person in my life and I don't know how …" Hutch stumbled a little again, pausing a moment to regain his balance.
"Don't know how I'm going to do this without you. Dammit, Starsk! I don't want to do this without you! This isn't the way it should be. I never wanted to live at the expense of your life! How could you do it, shoot your only hope?" Hutch was growing more emotional as he went so carefully down the stairs.
"I never wanted you to pay such a price. You've got to get well so I can kill you for doing such a stupid thing!" Hutch was nearly blinded with tears by now, as he realized Starsky couldn't hear a thing he was saying. The bottom of the stairs was facing him, and he stumbled off the stairs and towards the Torino. He placed Starsky carefully on the ground as he found the keys and opened the door. Oh Starsk, please don't die. Don't do this to me. An overwhelming pain flooded him as he lifted his partner gently into the car. He touched Starsky's forehead gently. "Please, Starsk, don't leave me." He made his way to the driver's side and got in.
"I'm driving the tomato, Starsk. God how I wish you'd wake up and tell me off. I'm gonna drive it fast, Starsk…" Later, Hutch would never remember how he got to the hospital in one piece, but he did, and once again refused help in carrying his partner into the Emergency Room. He also refused to leave his side as the medical staff tried to ascertain his condition. Hutch could only watch on in horror and disbelief as his world started coming to an end. There was nothing else to be done except wait. He didn't know how he could bear it.