UPDATED Michelle-Note (5.15.08): Hmm...it appears that this chapter is the reason I had this fic rated M...but it's not THAT graphic, so I'm not going to up the rating...plus there is fair warning below.

Michelle-Note: SEX!! (That was a warning that there is sex directly ahead...in case some of you want to turn back because you fear the sex).

Chapter 15: The Evil That Is Claire AND Mandy

Kate: The Hilton, Room 615: 10:29pm: 14 June

"Ethan…please…stop…" I said, out of breath. It was so fucking hot in this God damn room, and I sure as fuck couldn't turn the air conditioner up more right now because I was completely indisposed.

"What's the matter, baby?" He managed to stop thrusting me into the fucking headboard for two seconds. He wasn't a complete idiot, thank God. His parents were in the next fucking room, and I know that had to hear the banging against the wall every night.

"I really…just don't want to do this…"

"You did a few minutes ago…" He seemed confused and very disappointed, and little angry even. His dick was still hard and partially inside me.

"I…just…I don't…" I felt tears welling up, but I couldn't tell him. I could say how much I hated this, and how much I had hated it for a long time, and how much I didn't want to do it to start with, I just didn't want to hurt him. I don't know why the fuck not. I don't think it was him. I think it was me. I couldn't tell him because I would get hurt. I was all about protecting me, and always had been.

"Can't we just finish? Before…Claire comes back?" He forced himself farther inside.

I winced, it hurt. It always hurt, but I never said anything. I nodded, and he began to grind on me again, this time not as hard. I wrapped my legs around his waist as he began to suck viciously at my neck, his hands busy squeezing both of my breasts, and I just laid there.

I moaned helplessly as he began harder again. He picked me up carefully and moved me into a near sitting position against the headboard of the bed, his shaft deep inside me.

"Kate…" He said in a breathy whisper, "Why don't you…be on top like you used to?"

I choked back my tears and disgust at myself as I sat on his lap. All I managed to say was, "If you want…"

We shifted around slightly, so that he was laying and caressing my thighs. He stared up into my eyes, as I began to push myself up and down his penis. He began thrusting slight as well, obviously unhappy with my performance, and he used his hands to force me down harder, all the while he stared into eyes. He wanted to see my face when I had my orgasm, but it wasn't going to happen. It hadn't in a month, and it wasn't going to happen again. I didn't feel like faking it this time. God, no matter how good he fucked me, it wouldn't happen. I knew it was good, and I knew I should like it, but I didn't. I was so fucked up.

"I can't do this!" I screamed in frustration, finally, and squirmed away from him.

Once I had pulled him completely out of me, and sat on the end of the bed, he looked at me in utter confusion like a sad puppy. I felt like shit as he just sat and his dick lost its stiffness. I didn't feel like shit for him this time. I felt like shit for me. Why was I doing this to myself?!

"I don't love you…" I muttered.

"What?"

"I know you don't love me…"

"But-"

"No…I'm in love with Lizzie." I spat out quickly without thinking.

His chin dropped, and he appeared completely baffled, "Lizzie McGuire? Kate…you…what?"

"I'm gay." I said, swallowing hard, and trying to keep the tears from falling. I didn't want to like her. I never wanted to like that girl, and I don't know how it happened.

"Kate…I…I thought we had something…"

"You didn't think anything, you never do. You're the biggest fucking moron I've ever met." I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand quickly.
"I made you gay?"

"No…no, you didn't…I just…I don't know." I got up and grabbed my pajamas, which were laying at the foot of the bed, then I went into the bathroom, and locked the door, leaving Ethan sitting in the middle of the bed, naked.

I turned the shower in so that it was nearly scalding, got in, and stood there in the steam. I stared crying like a fucking pansy, and no one was there to see me, so I pressed my forehead against the wall and let the tears come as the water washed over me. I was living a lie. A huge fucking lie. I had been for years, and it just kept getting bigger and bigger.

Ethan knew, now what? I wondered if he would tell Claire. If he didn't tell her, I would tell her as soon as we got back, so I could get the hell away from her, and I could hide in my house, and no one would ever see me, and they could all talk about how I'm a lesbian and they hate me, but I would never know because I would just stop talking to everyone. No one mattered to me. No one except Lizzie.

I turned the water off when I heard the door open, and I got out and dried myself. My eyes were bloodshot. I would blame my allergies. My non-existent allergies. One more lie wouldn't hurt at this point. I slipped into my pajamas, and walked out with a towel wrapped around my head. No one was in the room, Ethan must have left. Where would that dipshit go? He'd get lost if he went out by himself.

Forcing all of the recent events from my mind, I sat on the bed, and turned on the television. The door clicked and opened. This time it was actually Claire, followed by another girl she obviously picked up during her excursion to wherever it was she went.

"I saw Ethan in the hall," She said, "He told me to tell you he went for a walk."

"Ok."

"Did you two have sex?"

Why the fuck would she ask me that in front of this other girl that I didn't even know? I forced a weak smile, "Of course."

"Are you still being a bitch?" Before I could come up with something to say, she continued on, "It doesn't matter. I found a new friend. This is Mandy Sanchez." The girl following her smiled and waved, "No relation to Miranda Sanchez."

Of course, she had to say that. She had to bring me back to reality. I looked at the new girl. She was pretty. Prettier than me, especially right now when I looked like a drug addict from crying, and had no makeup on. I smiled again, "Hi. I'm Kate."

Michelle-Note: Yes, I wrote straight-people sex. I dunno what possessed me to do that. It was even very hot...