AN: Here it is, yet another chapter for my devoted readers.
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue.
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It was dark outside the building by the time Sirius was allowed in to see Harry. He was told that although the boy had been in a bad way when he was bought in, his three broken ribs had been healed, as had the compound fracture in his leg, and the minor injuries he had sustained. He had been given a vitamin potion and another one for a dreamless sleep, and was healing up well, although he would be sore for a few days yet.
The only part they hadn't told him was that Harry had been given another very strong potion to calm him down and help him sleep once Dumbledore had broken the news of Sirius return, as he hadn't reacted quite as well as everyone had hoped.
That, and the disturbing little revelation he'd had.
There were injuries listed in Harrys medical chart. Small cuts on his arms and legs, some a month old, some barely healed. And there was no way Vernon or Dudley or anyone other than Harry for that matter could have inflicted them.
Sirius was sat by his Godsons bed now, watching him sleep. It hadn't really hit Sirius before...not when he first saw his Godson that night in Little Whining, not when he saw him fly, not when he fought by his side or when they spent that Christmas together last year. Not even when he found Harry earlier that day. But now, watching him sleep, it hit him.
The Boy who Lived was just that.
A boy.
A child.
Now that he was cleared and Harry was away from the Muggles, to all intents and purposes, Harry was his child. His responsibility. The responsibility of a man who couldn't even take care of himself.
Taking a deep breath, Sirius decided.
This is for the best, he thought.
"Harry, listen." He began. "Well, I know that's stupid, you can't hear me. But I'd like to think you can hear me anyway, because I think you need to know this.
"I love you. I think that you know that. At least, I hope that you know that, because if you don't, I've messed up really badly already, and I don't want to mess this up, you don't deserve that. You deserve a proper parent, someone who can help you when you need it and I know I can't do that. I have Auror training and experience most people will never have, not to mention a serious case of over-protectiveness, but I know that doesn't amount to shit. You don't need a body-guard, you need a father. Something I can never be. I know that I can't be what you need me to be because right now, you have a lot of problems, and suddenly the big bad ex-convict Auror can't do anything about any of them. And it terrifies me.
"I can't be James, Harry. I can't be a father no matter how much I love you and no matter how much I want to and try to help you. So all I can do, really, is to tell you how sorry I am, and hope that it penetrates the sleep potion so that you know. I'm sorry that I have to do this Harry, but as long as I'm here, you won't be able to turn to anyone else, I know you. So I'm sorry, and I love you, but I think that what I'm doing is the right thing and I hope that in the future someday you can forgive me."
Standing up from his chair beside Harrys bed, Sirius laid the hand he had been holding on the bed beside his Godson, hesitated, and then brushed the errant jet black locks back from his Godsons forehead.
"I love you, Harry. Forgive me."
With that as a final farewell, Sirius turned to the door and marched purposefully out of the room.
And straight into Remus Lupin.
He was looking less then pleased.
"Bugger."
#
So, how was that chapter, ppl?
Anywho, how you liked, time for responses!
HermioneChick08: thanks so much for the encouragement!
Me: I promise I'm going as fast as I can! hides behind HermioneChick and Kaitlin you kill me, you get no more story!
Disclaimer: Not mine, don't sue.
#
It was dark outside the building by the time Sirius was allowed in to see Harry. He was told that although the boy had been in a bad way when he was bought in, his three broken ribs had been healed, as had the compound fracture in his leg, and the minor injuries he had sustained. He had been given a vitamin potion and another one for a dreamless sleep, and was healing up well, although he would be sore for a few days yet.
The only part they hadn't told him was that Harry had been given another very strong potion to calm him down and help him sleep once Dumbledore had broken the news of Sirius return, as he hadn't reacted quite as well as everyone had hoped.
That, and the disturbing little revelation he'd had.
There were injuries listed in Harrys medical chart. Small cuts on his arms and legs, some a month old, some barely healed. And there was no way Vernon or Dudley or anyone other than Harry for that matter could have inflicted them.
Sirius was sat by his Godsons bed now, watching him sleep. It hadn't really hit Sirius before...not when he first saw his Godson that night in Little Whining, not when he saw him fly, not when he fought by his side or when they spent that Christmas together last year. Not even when he found Harry earlier that day. But now, watching him sleep, it hit him.
The Boy who Lived was just that.
A boy.
A child.
Now that he was cleared and Harry was away from the Muggles, to all intents and purposes, Harry was his child. His responsibility. The responsibility of a man who couldn't even take care of himself.
Taking a deep breath, Sirius decided.
This is for the best, he thought.
"Harry, listen." He began. "Well, I know that's stupid, you can't hear me. But I'd like to think you can hear me anyway, because I think you need to know this.
"I love you. I think that you know that. At least, I hope that you know that, because if you don't, I've messed up really badly already, and I don't want to mess this up, you don't deserve that. You deserve a proper parent, someone who can help you when you need it and I know I can't do that. I have Auror training and experience most people will never have, not to mention a serious case of over-protectiveness, but I know that doesn't amount to shit. You don't need a body-guard, you need a father. Something I can never be. I know that I can't be what you need me to be because right now, you have a lot of problems, and suddenly the big bad ex-convict Auror can't do anything about any of them. And it terrifies me.
"I can't be James, Harry. I can't be a father no matter how much I love you and no matter how much I want to and try to help you. So all I can do, really, is to tell you how sorry I am, and hope that it penetrates the sleep potion so that you know. I'm sorry that I have to do this Harry, but as long as I'm here, you won't be able to turn to anyone else, I know you. So I'm sorry, and I love you, but I think that what I'm doing is the right thing and I hope that in the future someday you can forgive me."
Standing up from his chair beside Harrys bed, Sirius laid the hand he had been holding on the bed beside his Godson, hesitated, and then brushed the errant jet black locks back from his Godsons forehead.
"I love you, Harry. Forgive me."
With that as a final farewell, Sirius turned to the door and marched purposefully out of the room.
And straight into Remus Lupin.
He was looking less then pleased.
"Bugger."
#
So, how was that chapter, ppl?
Anywho, how you liked, time for responses!
HermioneChick08: thanks so much for the encouragement!
Me: I promise I'm going as fast as I can! hides behind HermioneChick and Kaitlin you kill me, you get no more story!