"Idyll?"
Oh please, oh please, oh please.
"Idyll?"
Nothing.
"Singe my..."
With lack of grace that was inexcusable for her title, Cter crawled down from the burnt window sill between the kitchen and the dining hall after having poked her head and shoulders into the kitchen to try and catch a glimpse of Idyll perhaps doing the dishes with the window opened for the view over Jarasevo. Said window with a view was closed though, and there was no bright-haired monster scrubbing away at the numerous pots and pans stacked on high and insecurely.
Cter would have to use the door instead. A door which was forbidden even to Sir Gerson. While Chef Barbeqa didn't have a higher rank than him, she did know his likes and dislikes when it came to food.
And making an enemy of the Royal Chef was akin to starving oneself.
Cter needed to talk to Idyll though! She needed to have her best friend tell her that things were fine. To stare befuddled at Cter dressed so formally but acting so strangely. Even if Cter had very good reason to do so.
What with the Monster Royals involving Cter in their magical duel to get a vastly different seasoning to it.
And Cter almost disappearing into their memories because of that.
To then manage to fight against it. Another step to her understanding her own soul and magic.
Only to wake up to Sund setting himself on fire.
He wanted to explain.
But Cter couldn't listen.
She just couldn't.
She had to plead with Idyll to make sure she wasn't crazy!
It was worth risking starvation!
So Cter took a hold on the vertical handle, and opened it.
Immediately she was beset upon by an orange fireball that singed past her fringe and shattered into loud embers on the blackened frame next to her. The embers bounced off the skin on her cheek as if trying to coax her out of the kitchen she'd entered without permission. To warn her of what came afterwards.
The smell of cold steel swept by the tip Cter's nose as her head jutted backwards from the embers tapping against her fair-skinned face. They left behind dots of flush skin akin to freckles that blended together into pure red when Cter turned to see the thrown knife oscillate from its deep bury into the fresh mark of soot that the fireball had created on its impact. In its sharp, reflective surface she saw the warping image of a raging fire further deeper into the kitchen.
"Cter, the Fourth Monster Mage," came a threatening growl blended with harsh crackling of burning firewood. An invisible wave of seething heat washed over Cter like a breath against her skin in a hot sauna. She was forced to close her eyes, and in reaction swept her sleeved hand in the direction of the overbearing heat. The lines that grew from her spiral stem were like sleet in their texture, with a bright blue that grew like cracks in a layer of ice. An opaque cloud of snow and ice shielded her from the angry heat, drenching her red-flushed skin with a shower of lukewarm drops of water. "If you don't leave my kitchen right now I'll make sure to requests eggs with double thickness to their shells for your meals. Loosely cooked too!"
The threats cut Cter to her very soul and core, yet she had to stay strong. She had to steel herself against the risk that could easily have spelled her death. "Please understand," Cter pleaded through her shielding cloud as the pelting drops became sharp as needles. "I need to speak with Idyll. It is important."
"Not as important as you leaving my kitchen!" The lukewarm needles began to sizzle into steam as another wave of heat began to evaporate the edges of Cter's cloud. "Besides, Idyll is attending an audience with King Asgore and Queen Toriel about new duties to her employment."
Despite the threatening tone instilling the voice of the Royal Chef with intimidation few could ever muster enough to rise against, there was a hint of pride underneath it all. "She has learned everything I could teach her." A hint that manifested itself in the heat of Barbeqa's magic. A spark onto kindling. "And everything that I did teach her." The heat became comforting. Instead of a raging fire it was like a cozy hearth on a winter night. Yet, the temperature hadn't changed at all. Cter's face was still just as flush with blood to help cool. The drops formed from her icy clouds still stung like needles on her bare face. "Now she too is gonna cook for the Royal Couple." Yet, they didn't hurt Cter at all.
It took only a sigh from Barbeqa for the wave of heat to completely disband, leaving Cter with a cold cloud that began to bite at her face immediately. She dissipated the magic that kept it cold and waved her hand inside it to make it disperse quicker. Once it became transparent enough she saw the fiery head of Barbeqa leaning her orange forehead onto the rim of a skillet she held in her hand. Her flaming hair bounced as she tapped her forehead on the cast-iron rim. "I promised myself not to cry..."
Small, sparkling embers emerged from behind the skillet, falling down onto the stone floor with surprisingly wet sounds. Each proud and happy sob had the eight magically created abs underneath the rolled-up apron flex with blazing invocation.
"I can't even kick out an intruder in my own kitchen..."
Cter was at the same time incredibly happy that Idyll had come so far as to make her cooking mentor reduced to proud tears, while also feeling quite bad about still being in Barbeqa's kitchen with her being unable to kick Cter out. The fire monster's flames were as hot as her temper.
She was there on a mission though. Cter had to prioritize herself. "Where exactly is Idyll with the Monster Royals?" She had to know. It was important.
The importance grew as it dawned for Cter that Sund was trying to set himself on fire to look like Barbeqa. He managed to shout her and Kurant's name through the balcony window as Cter took her steps as long as she could to get away from the Royal Garden as fast as possible. Any details regarding Barbeqa and Kurant's name Cter didn't hear through the window, but as she stood with Barbeqa in the kitchen it was as clear as day what Sund had done to himself.
And it only made things worse.
"I am not letting you interrupt Idyll's chance at progressing higher than she could ever dream." The cast-iron skillet was pointed towards Cter with intent that would progress into malicious should Cter play her cards wrong. "You are her best friend and because of that I am granting you one last chance to get out of my kitchen which you've intruded upon." Its surface became coated with flames of a redder tint than Barbeqa's. "These flames melted down the ice of the Royal Mage of Hjearta, who has spent his entire career focusing on ice magic. Stand down, Fourth Monster Mage. Your choice now is to be served eggs with double the shells, or being served eggs with double the shells charred to soot. They'll be blacker than the darkest nightmare, and you'll have to eat them. The entire castle will know of your intrusion as your smile becomes coated in soot and pieces of black eggshell haunt the space between your teeth. You will no longer be know as Cter, but as Sooter! Ngahahahahaha!"
The laugh had Barbeqa's flames extend upwards with each of her energetic guffaws. Her otherwise-chiseled arms and shoulders melted together as her flames grew in intensity, almost swallowing her up until only her face and laughing mouth remained to give any resemblance of contours. The kitchen became bathed in a deep orange that reflected brightly off the walls and floor, yet darkly from the iron pans, pots, stoves, and sinks. A storm of fire surrounded Cter!
The Monster Mage stood still though. An amused, almost smug smile pushed up her left cheek that had become fair once again. There was no blood rushing to her face to help cool her down.
Because there was nothing to cool down from. The flames had no heat to them. They were just for show.
A show Cter had fallen for. Hook, line, and sinker.
Sooter.
"Ahahahaaaaa!" Barbeqa pushed out as a last laugh as her flames calmed down and her body became its chiseled self again. The dark spots of burnt flour sprinkled over her hands and abs had evaporated from her hearty laugh. With a gleaming smile she spun the skillet in her hand. "Oh ever since Idyll mentioned that name before I've always wanted to say it myself." She caught it and threw it over her shoulder into the largest of the kitchen sinks filled with clean and un-shattered plates and mugs. "Sooter," the fire chef scoffed over the sound of shattering plates and mugs with her hands pushed against her hips and her head shaking with self-made amusement. "I love it! Ngahahaha!"
Obviously Cter had a few more questions she wanted answering.
First one was simple. "So we're..." she implied while pointing back and forth between her and Barbeqa. "So we're not on any bad terms?"
"You talking about the double-shelled eggs?" Barbeqa returned with her arms folding over her rolled-up apron. "Those are still on your menu for the foreseeable future. You've intruded into my kitchen, and punishment is needed because of that. I do not discriminate."
Damn it.
"However," Barbeqa added with a dramatic nod of her entire upper body almost like a bow, but with none of the respect inherit to one. "However, however," she sprung up again, her flaming hair whipping an orange arc followed by the shimmer of heat-distorted air. "I'm willing to concede the threat of charring them until they become spent coal if, and only if, you make up your transgression by helping me out with a little something." With a flick Barbeqa returned her extended index finger pointed at Cter back to its folded state over her chest. "You see, your reputation, or to be more exact, your magic's reputation, precedes you, Monster Mage. It's in the dining hall where everything that's worth to be heard is heard. The sudden burst of energy from finally having a meal brings such ecstasy to the mind that it's easy to forget what is supposed to be secret."
By a snap of Barbeqa's finger that sounded eerily similar to a large match being struck against rock, the fire chef summoned a flash of light that blinded Cter, forcing her to shield her eyes covered entirely in blinding purple. There was the sound of metallic rummaging that Cter couldn't place exactly due to the echo the kitchen produced before calm steps followed up slowly. Once Cter's eyes could see again she found Barbeqa standing where had before with a leather-bound book congested with oily dots in her sizzling hand.
From her thumb and index finger snaked two lengths of fire that burned the impossible knot tying the book together. The book fell open in Barbeqa's hand, and she dragged her finger above the pages, letting the warm air turn the pages for her. "A new mage arrived in town today, according to Kry, who met her at Krygino's tavern," Barbeqa read. "However, that mage he judged to be basically worthless. He almost described it as a waste of his time."
Yeah, Cter remembered that. Why Barbeqa was pouring salt into an old wound of Cter's she'd no idea about? While it was fair enough that a chef would be one if any to use seasoning, it wasn't really metaphorically they did so.
Another fiery sweep had the large book turning several pages in the opposite direction from before. "The immense shock we all felt last night was apparently due to that mage Kry described as useless way, way back. Apparently it is some type of new magic, I managed to glean from the tired whispers the Monster Mages spoke between themselves. Even more shockingly is that they're considering to make that useless mage the Fourth Monster Mage. Not only that, but I am also getting a new pair of hands in the kitchen in the form of that mage's friend."
"Yes," Cter interrupted, "I remember it all. I was there. Why are you reading this to me?"
Barbeqa raised a flaming index finger which she then arced down to flip the pages one last time. "Apparently the new Monster Mage's magic is changing magic in monsters. That's what the Xoff journey was all about. To let her get her permanent magic from Bonny Sallus. I wonder if–"
"No," Cter interrupted again. "I am not gonna change your magic. That's off the table. Be it dinner, breakfast, or lunch." She held her gaze cold against the heat of Barbeqa that had begun to sneak itself back up. "Please tell me where Idyll is and I'll leave you to your cooking." A pot on a simmer in the kitchen corner bounced its lid with impeccable timing.
The fire chef didn't comply though. Instead she only let her eyes fall back down to continue reading. "I wonder if..." Barbeqa dragged out long with a glance up towards Cter. "I wonder if her magic being connected to Bonny Sallus means she'll inherit some of his medical knowledge." She closed the book with a dramatic slam, "I wonder if she can help me with my muscles?" and flexed her arms and core to make sure the point got across clearly.
After letting the moment hang for a bit Barbeqa again lifted her hand to prepare for a snap of her fingers. Cter, not wanting to be blinded again, turned around to make her blind to Barbeqa's hiding spot without it hurting her eyes.
"It's a good thing the Delta Rune is featured so prominently on the Monster Mage mantle," quipped the fire chef amid her metallic rummaging. "Gives the turning and shunning a bit more of an impact, don't you agree?"
Cter wasn't gonna take that bait.
Not again.
"You're no fun," a heated sigh scorned like the initial burst of a wood-lit fire. "Here I thought you'd be more like Sund and less like Kry."
"I'm no Kurant either," Cter sent over her shoulder.
There was a slight gasp followed by the sound of something heavy being dropped into an empty cooking vessel. "No..." Barbeqa tried to make it sound untouched, but the quavering in her voice was unmistakable. "No, you're not." The metallic rummaging returned, albeit more slower and methodical. The steps too were slow and methodical as Barbeqa returned to her spot more heavily than before despite not carrying her book any longer. "You can turn around now."
The knife on the door frame Cter entered through was slumped.
And more so was Barbeqa. "No secrets ever in the dining hall..." She shook her head. "Nor in the kitchen." With a defeated hand she rubbed her stomach, and the abs she was so proud of having. "You're keen, Cter. I'm sure that's not really exclusive to you. The entire castle I'm sure knows about it." Her abs tensed as she scoffed. "Well...all except one." A flick of dissolving fire detached from her hair as she turned away. "The one that matters knowing."
Seemed like Cter took a different bait than Barbeqa was putting out for her to nibble on. Maybe too Cter bit off a bit more than the fire chef meant for. "Sorry," she offered. "I shouldn't have said that."
"No, no," disagreed Barbeqa. "I provoked you. Gotta be as spicy as I want my food to be, like my mom always told me. I should be the one apologizing."
It was a coin flip whether or not Cter should have pushed for Barbeqa to also drop the double-shelled eggs threat. "Human mom, I've heard," she chose to latch onto instead. "I have a monster grandmother that pretty much raised me since mom was always out of town with her sewing."
"Human everything," Barbeqa corrected friendly. She swept both her arms across her kitchen, leaving them wide and outstretched. "They're the reason I have all of this to express myself with!" Her declaration echoed out of the large kitchen into the even larger dining hall. "They kissed me goodnight and asked me to bathe and scrub the dirt off me just like any other human child in the village. Unlike the other children though they also taught me everything they could about cooking. Not purely out of the goodwill of their hearts, and not purely because of the badwill of their hearts." The outstretched arms came together in a loud, crackling clasp with each respective index finger raised and then pointed towards Cter. "How much do you know about the Xoff army?"
Nothing really, besides that they stop ice transports on occasion and like to posture about in the rain.
"Not much."
"Alright," Barbeqa nodded before looking to both her sides to find a chair which she kicked across the kitchen floor. Cter caught it with some stasis magic, and moved it behind her to sit down on. There was a certain energy to the kick that had Cter quite eager to hear more. The lingering heat on its wooden frame was as if the chair had been out in the sun for the entire day. "Don't know why Sir Gerson hasn't told you anything about the human countries and their armies yet, but whatever. Not like he grew up with one of the human armies constantly around him like yours truly."
Barbeqa breathed in while making sure that Cter was sitting comfortably before she continued.
"So, the Xoff army has a bit of a quirk to it, to say the least. While not getting into the formations and tactics that Sir Gerson does know a bit more about than I do since he invented them, the army leans quite a lot into being human, so to speak. Instead of here in Monster Country where it's like a pyramid with a platform on top where King Asgore and Queen Toriel stand on either side to keep balance with Sir Gerson just below as the pyramid's tip and then going further down the ranks." Barbeqa extended her palm to prevent Cter from interrupting despite Cter having no idea as to why she would interrupt. "Before you say something, yes I know that Priestess Frioke and you Monster Mages are equal in rank to Sir Gerson, but come on now, he's the one that's the tip of the pyramid."
Cter was relieved of the hurt feelings that she never had.
How nice of Barbeqa?
"Anyways, Xoff leadership is a bit different. It's spread out. More platforms acting independently. Like...planks making up a floor for the Xoff royalty to stand upon. One day they need to be in one corner of the room and on another day they need to be in another corner of the room. Just because they're not actively standing on the planks don't mean they can go all rotten in case they need to help hold up the country again." Barbeqa's flames flared up with her deep breath. "So, the top brass controls their own flavor of the army, their own planks. Since everything is kept very, very level there's no real power struggle to gain more of the army, since if one general were to take another general's slice of the cake he'd be swamped by all of the other generals muscling in on where his attention is not. Now with that epidemic sniffing about again and sprinkling its miasma seemingly on random they don't really have the time or energy to squabble for more power."
Cter breathed in to disagree from what she heard from the County General she and Kurant had met.
But Barbeqa breathed in heavier.
"However!"
She kept her titled head towards Cter for a long couple of seconds before she finally got to her point. "Such equity means that if one general finds something to give his part of the army an edge then the rest are almost guaranteed to follow through with the same finding. That's what happened to my family's restaurant." With a proud finger, Barbeqa pointed over to one of smaller stove jutted into one of the kitchen corners. "When I was adopted we had something like that." A sweeping streak of proud flames moved over towards the largest stove standing proud like a trophy. "Two years later we had two of these in our family restaurant."
The color of Barbeqa's flames took on a more reddish appearance as she nodded to herself. "Eyup," her flaming tongue smacked. "I was cooking for entire platoons a month or so after I was walking. Just rotating in and out of the restaurant doors constantly so that they never shut for years on end." Another nod filled the kitchen with prideful heat. "Eyup. It wasn't long until the king and queen asked my family to move over to the capital so that the troop movements wouldn't clog up the smaller roads, and so that they could have a taste of the cooking them too. They were quickly shepherded me into the Xoff castle where I worked until I was traded, in a way, to Jarasevo castle."
"You get to do more magical cooking here compared to before?" Cter caught herself asking the question well after Barbeqa had begun thinking about how to answer it. She'd been in a state of half-listening looking for an opportunity to ask Barbeqa for the last time where Idyll was.
"No and yes," Barbeqa said unconvinced. "I did sneak in a lot of magical techniques because the Royal Mage there wanted me to. He became a sorta mentor to me to build my magic rather than just my hands. Well, I got to use my hands, but in a slightly different way." She flashed her palms. "How much do you know about Xoff massaging?"
Alright.
Cter jumped forwards on her chair so that she only sat on the lip of it. Her palms came together underneath her chin. "How exactly does this all tie in with your feelings towards Kurant?" she asked directly with her eyes narrowed. "If you want to talk about your home country, fair enough. I haven't actually been in Xoff besides my visit to Clinic Hill, and that's not really Xoff culture, so I'm interested in learning more about Xoff." The put-together palms slid out from underneath Cter's chin pointing across the kitchen and at Barbeqa. "But, you were talking about Kurant, weren't you?"
"You mentioned my human mom though."
The spiraling lines on Cter's sleeve almost popped from Cter screaming internally. "Idyll," she said through her teeth.
"No, that wasn't her name."
The twitch in Cter's eye was easily mistaken for a blink. "Where is Idyll," she stated again. Not as a question. Just as a statement. "Right now. Where is she?"
"Just out the back with the Royal Couple, but they're not done yet and–"
Like a loud sneeze Cter's aura expanded violently to then contract just as quickly. She blinded Barbeqa in her own Monster Mage way, giving her time to cross the kitchen and then open the door leading to the smaller garden usually reserved for high-ranking guests wanting more sun and a beautiful view while eating. Inside a glassed gazebo, not unlike the one behind Bonny Sallus' home on Clinic Hill, Cter heard murmurs of a conversation. Quite a casual one as well. Mentions of Krygino's tavern and the likes.
It died down quickly as Cter neared it with almost mechanical steps. "C...Cter?" Idyll greeted a bit confused and surprised. "Why are you here? Did you go through the kitchen? Isn't Barbeqa gonna be upset with that?"
Without really recognizing the Royal Couple's presence despite them almost filling all the space in the gazebo and pushing out the glass panes too, Cter simply walked up to the only sane person she knew. "Am I crazy?" she asked like she was demanding papers at the border. "Am I crazy, Idyll?"
Idyll looked less surprised and more confused. "N-No?" she answered with a shake to her head more to wake herself up to reality. "No, I don't think so." Her voice was very, very close to have it become a question instead.
Cter took it in her stride. "Great." With a jolly spin to her heel she marched back the way she came, leaving her friend to deal with the aftermath of her baffling entrance.
Nothing Cter had to worry about though.
After all, she wasn't crazy.