"What the hell are you doing?"

And immediately, he knows that he's said the wrong thing. But everything about this is wrong. Ryan standing here after all this time holding out a woman's hair bow like he doesn't even know Seth.

Ryan turns his back on him and reaches behind him to close the door. He doesn't even focus on Seth, he just ignores him entirely.

"Ryan…" He has to make this right. Everything's just spiraled out of control and he can't let it go on any further. He'd been blissfully ignorant of all the Newport drama until his father had shown up in Portland to drag him back. He steps into the room before Ryan can close the door.

He should never have left. None of this would have happened if he had stayed. If he'd helped Ryan. Or at least been a real friend to Ryan.

Or at least that's what his parents keep saying.

You're spoiled, Seth. From now on, you're on your own. See if you can survive without your trust fund for a few years. Let's see if you can support yourself, let alone a girlfriend and a baby.

So the parents had taken away his credit card, giving him a strict 20 dollar allowance.

But the money wasn't what was killing him.

Losing Ryan for real…this was killing him.

He'd seen Teresa. Heard her screams, her words blaming Ryan for the accident. The next day she was crying, begging for him to come back to her. Stupid girl didn't know what she was thinking; she was put away now in a mental hospital much like the one Marissa had been shipped off to.

She'd tripped. She'd tripped over a pair of shoes that she'd left out. It wasn't Ryan's fault. Everyone knew that except Ryan.

We can't find him, Seth. So, now, all of a sudden you're concerned about him? For once, you care about someone other than yourself?

"Ryan. Ryan, man…look at me…"

His blue eyes are muted and dull. He's not even acknowledging me. Hasn't he missed me? Hasn't he wondered what the hell I've been doing?

"What?"

Seth doesn't recognize his voice, its hoarse and gravelly, like it hasn't been used in days. Knowing Ryan, it probably hasn't. But he'll talk to me. He has to. It's the only way to get things right again.

"Ryan…I've been looking for you everywhere, god, you're not an easy one to find, it's like you're fucking invisible, you're the only person that I know that uses cash to get around, I didn't even think places took cash as payment anymore…"

Did you think he'd come home without you here? Did you really think that Ryan Atwood would come back to stay here without you…are you really that self-absorbed?

He lapses into a babble, hoping that he'll recognize the man standing in front of him but it doesn't work. The Ryan he knows is dead, he sees that now. This Ryan, he's dead, too. It's in his eyes. He's lost everything.

"Ryan, you have to come home…"

"Home." Ryan tests the word out on his tongue.

"Yes, home, Newport, Mom and Dad, they're worried sick about you and let me tell you, it's not helping my 'please forgive me for sailing away' case with you not having my back, you know?"

Ryan turns around. He reaches over to the warped dresser and picks up a bottle of liquor. Ryan never drank like this…looked like this. Ryan's not like this…

"Come on, man, say something…"

"Get out," he mutters, waving at Seth, dismissing him.

His phone starts to ring in his pocket. He'd told his parents that he was out with Summer, they don't know that Summer hasn't spoken to him since he left. They don't know that his grandfather's been supporting his search for Ryan. They don't know that he finally found him.

"What are you doing here?" He asks. He needs an answer.

"There's nothing for you here, Seth. Go home."

He never accepted his place here. He never thought he belonged here. The only reason he stayed was because of you. You needed him. He hasn't ever been a part of something where he wasn't needed…we were supposed to be his family, people that don't expect anything of him, people that don't need anything from him…how do you think it made him feel to know that you'd left?

"I'm not leaving without you. My place is here. With you."

And for a second, Seth thinks that Ryan's going to hit him. The way he spins around with the bottle clenched in his swollen fingers, the way his eyes flash with anger and hurt and pain, the way his muscles seem to ripple under his wifebeater.

"What the hell are you even talking about? What are you even doing here, Seth?"

"I'm here because you need to come home. With me, with your family…I know that what happened with Teresa…" He has to make Ryan understand…

"You don't know anything…"

And he's right. Seth doesn't know anything. He doesn't know why he's here, he doesn't know why Teresa lashed out at him, he doesn't know why Ryan didn't go to his parents for help, he doesn't know anything about what Ryan's been going through.

"I know that you're hurting and you don't know what to do. I know that you're running because you don't think you have anywhere else to go. I know that you want to come back with me…" Seth's reaching but he has to. He has to bring Ryan back. It's the only way to fix the mess that he's made. It's the only way his parents will forgive him.

Ryan doesn't look at him. He takes another swallow from the bottle and then slings it into the trash can. He lights a cigarette.

Seth's phone rings again. He answers it out of frustration, he's not getting anywhere with Ryan and he can't handle the damned thing buzzing in his pocket. "What?"

"Seth? Where the hell are you?"

"Dad, I told you when I left…"

"You lied to me. I just saw Summer at the Newport social, so again, I'm asking you, where the hell are you?"

Seth turns his attention back to Ryan.

His blue eyes are even duller now that when he got here, but he's watching. Listening. He wants to come home, he wants to be with Seth, be with his family, he just needs…he needs something.

Seth holds out his phone, his father's yells echoing through the small room.

"Here. You tell him where we are. Tell him that I'm not coming back without you. Tell him that I'm bringing you home…tell him."

"Fuck you," Ryan whispers.

"Seth? Goddammit, Seth, say something!" His father's voice is getting angrier by the second. He takes a step closer to Ryan. Ryan won't hit him, he won't hurt him. He holds out the phone.

"Fuck you," Ryan repeats.

Seth steps closer, pushing the phone into his hand. "Tell him. If you won't listen to me, talk to him."

Seth lets himself breathe when Ryan finally lifts the phone to his ear.