Dec. 26th, 1994
"The pig!" Margaux was full of sympathy when I told her last night's events this morning, and Iphigenie added, "The sneaking, crafty scum! Just wait, we'll get him!"
Her energetic outburst surprised me.
"Oh forget it," I said wearily. "It's probably not even his fault..."
"Not his fault?" Margaux almost screamed. "He as good as admitted he'd been planning all this! What did he take that charm off himself for, if he hadn't?"
"It's a lot worse than just falling under the Veela charm the normal way," Iphigenie, back to her usual rational self, went on. "I mean, you are not fully responsible when under it, are you, but causing yourself to fall under it deliberately, knowing full well what you want and are going to do… "
"And he knew how you felt about the whole thing, didn't he?" Margaux inquired.
"Of course. I've talked about it to him loads of times. He knew perfectly well. I'd never have gone to the stupid ball with him otherwise... How can I go up to the castle again and face Cedric or anyone else? Roger is sure to have told his own version of the story..."
"Certainly!" said Iphigenie grimly. "And that's exactly why you'll have to go up there like every day. You don't want them to believe his stories, do you?"
"But it's so embarrassing!"
"Rubbish! You know perfectly well who's the one to be embarrassed! The last thing you need is to give the impression of a guilty conscience. No, you'll go up there to dinner, and if you take my advice, be especially careful with your appearance."
Nevertheless, it was with a very awkward feeling that I took my seat at the Ravenclaw table this evening; I don't know if I just imagined it, but it seemed to me that everybody was staring at me. Cho arrived a moment after me - my expression when I looked up at her must have been anxious, I believe, because she gave me an extra friendly smile, and put an arm round my shoulder when she sat down.
"I know what happened," she told me quietly.
"How did you…?"
"The stupid idiot has told Cedric, who, of course, has told me."
"What did he say?"
"Told him all about that clever plan of his. How he kept submitting to that Equanimity charm for weeks, so you would get to like him, thinking he was a decent guy - this is of course, not the way he put it," she grinned, "and how yesterday evening he thought his opportunity had finally come... Then, he went on describing at great detail how he kissed you, and how you encouraged him… "
"I did not!" I as good as screamed.
"I'm sure you didn't," Cho said soothingly. "I think I know you well enough by now to believe you and not him. Anyway, he claimed you encouraged him until he was all sexed up and hardly knew what he was doing any more, and he put a lot of imagination into the description of your hands all over each other, but I don't expect you want to hear the details,"
I could only shake my head numbly.
"And just when he was about to lose control of himself, Roger says, you pushed him away, laughed at him – derisively I think - and disappeared."
I was so shocked it took some seconds for me to find some words.
"I - I did nothing of the sort! You do believe me, Cho, don't you?"
"Of course I do. And Cedric is quite sceptical of Roger's story, too. Do you mind telling me what really happened?"
"No, I don't think I do. There's nothing much to tell, really. We went out into the garden, and… he told me he had taken off the charm and… and… he tried to kiss me - and I ran away! I want you, and I'll have you that's what he said..."
"Now, no need to cry... He said that, did he? What an awful thing to say to someone! As if you were a thing! Tell me, did you at least hex him or something?"
"Vomitus," I whispered, smiling through my tears.
"Ha! So that's why he looked so green this morning. You did a good job on this one, really. Don't worry though, there will be some gossip, and you can bet Roger's story will get taller during the telling, but in a couple of days, when term starts, at the latest, everyone will have forgotten the whole thing."
I really feel a lot better now, and, who knows, perhaps the idea of getting back at Roger is not such a bad one after all.
Dec. 28th, 1994
Thankfully, the weather has cleared up again, although it's still cold. So I can go on a ride on my broom now and then, which eases my mind and makes me forget the disastrous turn the ball took. Yesterday, Cho came with me, and it was a great relief to see she really means what the told me.
There's some homework we have to do, but otherwise nothing much is happening. Up at the castle, people (the boys, mostly) are talking to each other in whispers when they see me, and keep shooting me those glances I know only too well. I do hope Cho's prediction will prove correct.
Of course, I haven't said anything about the whole thing to my mother, she'd never understand, and I don't want to quarrel with her again.
Dec. 30th, 1994
I ran into Harry this evening after dinner. He seemed preoccupied and rather in a hurry, and only said hello in an off-hand way, without really looking at me. I'm not sure what to make of it. Is it possible he believes all the rumours about me?
Jan. 1st, 1995
Happy New Year, diary! Had a little party in our carriage, and talked to our families via Maxime's realitas virtualis spell. (I must find it somewhere and try to learn to do it myself!) It was lovely to talk to Gabrielle directly after this long time, and it really hurt that I could not hug her. But at least, as Mama preferred talking to Maxime rather than to me, I could tell Gabie about the Ball, and Roger. Of course, I exaggerated the part where I hexed him and generally presented the whole affair in a humorous light, and Gabie enjoyed it a lot.
"And he was still green in the face the next morning?" she enquired, giggling.
"That's what Cho told me."
"That must have been a great hex! Can you teach it to me?"
So I had to promise to teach her as soon as we'd really meet again. I know Mama would have a fit if she knew, but I think that's exactly why I enjoy the prospect so much.
We also had another firework at midnight, and Mlle. Clairvoyante offered to glance into her crystal globe for each of us. I'm not really a fan of clairvoyance, but I did feel tempted to try to find out about the thing I will have to retrieve from the lake, so I asked her what she saw in store for me.
It was not a good idea.
"I see water," she muttered in that annoying dreamy voice of hers. "Cold water. A golden treasure deep in the water… blood… a green flash … and another..."
"Merci," I said hurriedly.
If she wanted to irritate me, she has been absolutely successful. I know nothing at all, but it's been quite enough to make me feel uneasy: "blood" and "green flash" don't sound very reassuring indeed. Luckily, I've never really believed in this kind of thing.
Jan. 4th, 1995
The first day of the new term has started with a lovely surprise. When we were all assembled to begin our first lesson - Potions - Maxime burst into the room.
"Excuse me," she said to Prof. Venefice (or to his image, rather) in that authoritarian manner of hers (she doesn't treat teachers much different from students in this respect). "I'm sorry for interrupting like this (she didn't sound sorry at all), but I must borrow your students for some extra lessons."
And before poor old Venefice had time to say anything, she had already swept us out of the room. We were just allowed to gather up our cloaks and then she ushered us out of the carriage.
Naturally, everyone was curious what all this was about, but she wouldn't tell.
"Just wait," she kept saying, her eyes shining in an unusual light.
Past our horses that were just having their daily ration of Single Malt Whisky from steaming barrels, she led us towards the edge of the forest, where an elderly witch with short grey hair (they do have the most awful haircuts here!) was waiting for us.
"Have they brought it?" Maxime enquired after a brisk nod as a greeting.
"Yes."
"Fine. Now, all of you," she turned towards us, "consider yourselves lucky. What you are going to see is one of the rarest of magical creatures, well worth while the cancelling of a Potions lesson. An opportunity you will hardly ever have in a lifetime, and therefore not to be missed. Professor Grubbly-Plank," she indicated her companion "has consented to show you this. Now, if you follow her..."
We turned round a bend, and there it was - the most beautiful creature I've ever seen, and most likely ever will. A unicorn! Tethered to a tree with a golden bridle, it looked at us with large unblinking blue eyes. Its golden horn was sparkling in the sunlight, and its tail and mane were glittering in all possible shades of silver. The blinding white of its coat made the snow look grey in comparison.
"Oh!" A collective sigh came from most of us, as we stopped in our tracks looking at the magnificent creature wide-eyed and breathless. I felt Margaux squeeze my hand. Of course, we had heard about unicorns in our lessons before, but it is a very different thing to actually see one.
"Now, you all know the basic facts about unicorns, I expect," came the brisk voice of the grey-haired witch. "But now you have a chance to get the feeling of one, too. Of course, the boys will have to be content to have a look from a distance, but even then you should be able to sense the soothing effect. As for the girls,-" she looked at us almost grimly, "it will be up to your own discretion to find out how near you can go, or if it will even allow you to touch it. Mind you," she added, when some of the girls shuffled their feet uneasily, "it's not a question of a purely physical condition, it's about the purity of the mind, more than anything else. Which makes it even more complicated, of course."
Now that I look back, I suppose it was quite amusing to see how self-conscious everyone suddenly looked. At the time, however, I was feeling so torn between my desire to bury my face in that magnificent mane and the fear that the unicorn might not consider me worthy enough that I could not spare any thoughts for the others' feelings.
But soon enough I felt myself so strongly drawn to the beast that I moved forward as if in a trance, and presently found myself touching the smooth, silky skin. The unicorn gave a tiny, barely audible whinny, and caressed my cheek with its soft warm muzzle.
I can't even begin to describe the happiness, the bliss that flowed through me at that touch. Losing all sense of time or place, I threw my arms round the shining neck, and with tears in my eyes pressed my face into the glorious mane.
Aeons or seconds, I have no idea how long I stood there, and it doesn't matter. Finally, I reluctantly detached myself, and stepped back a few paces. In the meantime, most of the other girls had stepped forward and were stroking the unicorn. I didn't notice, nor did I care, who was keeping back, though I believe I saw Maxime remaining in the background. I was so enchanted by the experience that I hardly noticed where I was going, nor paid any attention to the pieces of information about unicorns that Maxime was giving, interesting though they doubtlessly were.
"That unicorn was favouring you," Margaux told me at lunch. Even though she was speaking jokingly, I am sure I detected a hint of jealousy in her voice. "I mean, it allowed most of us to stroke it, but there was a distinct feeling of distance. And you – it was as if you'd known each other all your lives, and had just got together after a long sorrowful parting. How did you do it?"
"I didn't do anything! I was just as surprised as you were!"
"Come," Iphigenie said soothingly, "you don't really believe that yourself, do you? Are you suggesting the veela charm works on unicorns?"
"Of course," Margaux grinned at me. "I'm being a bit stupid, I know. Nobody can charm a unicorn, it does what ever it does out of its own volition, or so Maxime told us. I just couldn't help envying you when I saw you. But I'm happy for your sake, too - you deserved a good turn after that ball…"
"Thank you! It's just been the thing I needed, I feel so happy I can just laugh at stupid Roger's stupid behaviour. And I'm perfectly motivated to start working on that second task thing now, too…"
"That's the attitude!" Iphigenie said approvingly. "So we'll go and start turning the library upside down tomorrow!"
The Ravenclaw students have not seen the unicorn yet, but rumours travel faster than light, and Cho had already heard about it.
"I can't wait," she said excitedly when I told her about my experience. "And it really let you hug its neck?"
"Yes," I replied, embarrassed at the note of envy that was in her voice.
"Well, I hope I'll get to touch it, at least. To think that after the ball Cedric and I almost…" she broke off, her tanned face turning several shades darker.
"Who knows?" I said, ignoring it. "Perhaps it will take a liking to you, too. And even just touching it is a wonderful feeling. You'll love it!"
"Do you know," she told me, when her colour had turned normal again "Gryffindor and Slytherin fourth years were having their Care of Magical Creatures class today, and naturally they were also shown the unicorn. And it almost impaled the two Slytherin girls on its horn when they were trying to get near it! Serve them right, they are veritable pests."
"I've got an idea," she said suddenly, after the last dishes had disappeared. "How'd you feel about proving to everybody that the stories Roger tells about you can't be true?"
I looked at her, surprised. "What do you mean? I'm not sure I care much any more, and I certainly don't want to play any dirty tricks…"
"I thought as much, especially after today, but it wouldn't be a trick or anything. Listen: It's common knowledge that unicorns tolerate only certain people to touch them. If Roger's stories were true, you'd have to run for your life if you ever came across one. So what you do is this: Make sure another Hogwarts class is with the unicorn, and then go and give it a big kiss on the muzzle. And if you take my advice, make it a spectacular appearance. All the school will know almost before the end of class, and then I'd like to see Roger repeating his stories…" She looked at me, her eyes sparkling mischievously.
"What a wicked idea," I said admiringly. "Say, when do YOU have your next Magical Creatures class? I'd love to see Roger's face!"
"Wednesday morning. Will you be able to get away?"
"I'm sure I will!"
Iphigenie and Margaux think Cho's idea is great, and of course they'll come with me the day after tomorrow.
I've not felt so good for a long time, it's been the most wonderful day!
Jan. 6th, 1995
By a lucky coincidence, this morning's Transfiguration lesson was cancelled, so we didn't have to think up any excuses to get out of the carriage. Wrapped in our cloaks against the bitterly cold day, we made our way to the edge of the forest. When we turned round the bend, we could already see the students. As was to be expected, the boys were standing at some distance, and I was pleased to notice Roger among them, while a group of girls were crowded round the beast. The elderly Hogwarts professor was standing in the middle between the two groups of students.
"Let's watch them a bit first," Margaux whispered, motioning for us to keep back, as nobody had seen us yet.
"Now that's enough, girls," the professor said in her crisp voice. "Will you please listen to me now, and take notes. As a homework, you will write fifteen inches of parchment on the magical qualities of the unicorn, due Wednesday next week. Now, the unicorn, as I suppose you know already..."
Reluctantly, the girls detached themselves from the animal, and joined the boys again, all of them getting their notepads and quills ready.
"Now!" Iphigenie breathed into my ear, pushing me forward.
It didn't really need her shove; in the few minutes I had been standing there, my yearning to touch that exquisite mane again had become so strong I could hardly restrain myself. Now I rushed forward, forgetting everything around me. Again, I threw my arms round the blinding white neck, again I felt the tears in my eyes, and again that blissful feeling engulfed me like a tidal wave.
I don't remember how I got back to my friends and into the carriage. The first thing that's clear in my mind is Margaux' voice:
"Are you all right? Fleur?"
"What?" I must have looked absolutely stupid. "Where am I?"
It took me a couple of minutes to adjust.
"What happened?" I finally managed.
"You were amazing," Iphigenie said, her voice strange. "You were standing there, your arms round the unicorn's neck, and, suddenly, a single sunbeam pierced that leaden sky, and, like a flash, you were standing there, in that bright light."
"If it had been one of those muggle movies, it couldn't have been more dramatic," Margaux added. "You really must have got through to that animal..."
"Yes," Iphigenie's voice was full of satisfaction. "Those Hogwarts students couldn't get their mouths closed..."
So apparently, our plan worked out. It's strange though, that I don't really care...
The mood at the Ravenclaw table was weird when I came to dinner this evening. Everybody was looking at me, and at the same time trying to hide the fact. A faint murmur was rippling through the students, and it seemed with an effort that they were turning their attention back to their food.
"Morgaine's veil!" Cho's voice was almost a sigh as she sat down beside me. "I've never seen anything like that! It was unbelievable!"
"Now you're going on about it, too," I said, embarrassed. "To tell you the truth, I don't even know exactly what happened. Everybody seems to think it was something extraordinary..."
"It was, believe me. You were just like one of those Pre-Raphaelite paintings..."
"I have no idea what you're talking about, but I'll go and look it up. But tell me, how did Roger take it?"
She grinned at me. "Well, he just sort of faded into the background. Tried to make himself as invisible as he could manage. Look, he has not bothered to come down to dinner either. And I've heard a few comments already, too. You did make a rather lasting impression."
"And what was your experience with the unicorn like?"
Her black eyes seemed to cloud for a moment.
"I'm not sure what to make of it," she said hesitatingly. "And I don't know how to describe it. Yes, I had no problem going up to it, but when I touched it, I felt as if a shadow of sadness - of loss - enveloped me. I must have flung my arms round the unicorn's neck instinctively, at least that's what they told me, and only then a soothing calmness and content filled my soul. I don't know what to make of it. I may have felt guilty of something without really knowing it, I suppose, but still, it's been very strange."
"Well, they say… " I began, but checked myself. I remembered reading somewhere that there was a theory that encounters with unicorns could sometimes go together with a presentiment of the future, but I didn't want to cause my friend unnecessary uneasiness, and after all, it was just a theory and not a proven fact.
"Nothing," I said, perhaps a bit too cheerfully. Luckily, the dishes appeared on the table at this moment, and so her attention was diverted and she didn't ask.
"Don't worry," Margaux said, when I told her about Cho's experience. "I know the theory you have in mind, but it's a very obscure one, and there's no real scientific evidence that there might be something in it. No, I think you were perfectly right not to tell her."
"And anyway," Iphigenie added in that mater-of-fact tone of hers, "they always say you can't change the past, but you can't change the future either. So it's best not to pay any attention to premonitions and things, it only makes you unhappy."
Of course they are right, but still...