Chapter 18: Ready to take the plunge

Feb. 1st, 1995

This afternoon, I used the virtualis charm to go to Beauxbatons to start my research in earnest. As I had to use someone else's physical support to use the library, I decided to project myself into my old dormitory first. I knew Charmaine well enough to know I'd find her there.

True enough, she was there, flopped down on her bed, perusing, - I don't think one can call it reading, - the latest copy of La Jeune Sorciere.

I admit I felt something like homesickness looking around the room and my own bed that I had not slept in for what seemed like ages, and it struck me how comparatively easy everything had been then.

However, I told myself not be silly, and silently moved up to Charmaine, who was deeply engrossed in an article about some wizarding rock group calling themselves by the original name of The Glowing Wands. (They are a French group, but of course they must have an English name to be cool enough.)

I'd have loved to snatch the magazine from her, but as I couldn't do that, I just shouted "Boo" in her ear.

She almost fell off the bed in surprise.

"Fleur!" she gasped. "What-?"

"Yes, it's me," I told her, unnecessarily. "It's a new charm I learned. Listen Charmaine, I need you to help me..."

I must have forgotten the kind of person Charmaine is, because there was no way I could get her to just go to the library with me. I had to tell her "everything" as she called it. Of course I only gave her a very careful selection of events, but nevertheless it took quite some time. (I did not mention Harry Potter, though, or I'd still be there discussing him with her.)

Finally, she was somewhat satisfied, although she kept telling me I simply HAD to come back again and tell her MORE, and agreed to go to the library to help me with the books.

Realitas virtualis is a wonderful charm; while Charmaine had to walk all the way across the chateau to get to the library, I just visualised the place and found myself there without any delay. Luckily, the library was deserted at this time of day, so nobody saw me and I didn't have to waste time answering heaps of stupid questions. I hovered next to the shelves, looking at the titles of the books to make up my mind which ones Charmaine should get for me.

"Here you are!" She entered the library, somewhat out of breath, about ten minutes later. "How did you- oh, never mind. Now what do you want me to do?"

"I need to find a charm that will help me survive under water for an hour," I told her. And I proceeded to describe Iphigenie's idea of the air bubble to her. It took some time for the concept to get into her head, but at last she understood and started taking books from the shelves according to my directions.

It was tedious work; I'd never have believed how many spells concerning the head there are. Spells for growing hair back, spells for curing headaches, spells against acne, …

After what seemed hours, and after Charmaine had dozed of repeatedly, I suddenly shouted, "Wait!"

Charmaine, who had been turning the pages quite automatically during the last couple of minutes, jerked upright and looked at me with big eyes.

"What is it?"

"Here," I said, pointing at a picture on the page in front of her. "This just about might be what I'm looking for."

The picture showed an athletic looking wizard in red robes (there are never witches in these illustrations, you only find them with charms of the healing or repairing kind) who was apparently walking on the bottom of the sea, his robes floating picturesquely behind him, and a group of small colourful fish around his head. It was his head, though, that was the really important part; there was a kind of bubble around it that clearly was not water.

"Sortilege de tetenbulle," I read the inscription on the top of the page. "Yes, this seems to be the right thing."

However, it was not as easy as that. I could not, of course, copy the directions of the spell down, and it seemed somewhat too complicated to just learn by heart in a reliable way. And even if I had Charmaine copy it, I still couldn't take it along back to Hogwarts.

"Be a dear," I said to hear coaxingly, "and copy it for me as carefully as you can, and then send it to my by express owl as fast as possible. It's a pretty difficult spell, and I have only three weeks to learn it."

"Of course I will," she said. "We all wish Beauxbatons to win, don't we?"

She promised to get to work on the copying right away and to send the owl this very evening.

"But you'll have to come back after the Task and tell me about it," she insisted.

"Of course I will, but now I really must be going."

She tried to hug me and I had quite a good laugh at her puzzled face when her arms went right through my image.

"See you," I said, and then suddenly found myself back on my bed in the carriage.

This has been quite a successful day, and I think I can be satisfied with myself. When Charmaine's owl arrives, I'll ask my friends to practise the charm with me.

Feb. 2nd, 1995

I've told Iphigenie and Margaux what I have found and they congratulated me on my good luck.

"I WAS sheer luck, you know," Iphigenie told me in that annoyingly rational way she sometimes has. "You might just as well have been stuck in the library for days. So there's no need to look so smug about it."

Of course she's perfectly right, but I didn't tell her so.

However, Charmaine's owl has not shown up yet.

Feb. 3rd, 1995

The owl from Beauxbatons has finally arrived, and we started our practise this afternoon.

"You know," Margaux told me, and her eyes were sparkling in a mischievous way. "I'm afraid this time you'll not just take a nice hot bath like you did with the egg. The tub isn't big enough, and you want to be sure that charm works. So…"

She didn't finish, but I knew what she was driving at and shivered as I thought of the cold black lake. She's right, there won't be any chance to avoid it. I'll have to dive into that awful water it I want to make sure everything is as it should be.

"But at least we can start here," I said desperately. "I mean – the basics, and then test the whole thing in the lake if I must."

"And must you will," she told me with a grim smile.

Feb. 5th, 1995

We are making slow progress only; the spell is even more difficult than it seemed at first, and I've almost drowned in the bathtub several times. Creating the bubble is not the hard thing, it's keeping it up for a longer time; at the moment I can manage a miserable three or four minutes.

There's a good side to it, though: I've not wasted a single thought on Harry these days.

Feb. 7th, 1995

We've spent most of the weekend practising the bubblehead charm, and I'm up at half an hour now. However, my back starts killing me, -it is one of the most uncomfortable positions, lying flat on your back in the tub, you legs sticking out, and keeping your head under water for such a long time.

"It's warm, at least," Iphigenie keeps saying. "So enjoy it as long as you can, soon it's going to be the lake, anyway."

I must say the thought of the lake does noting to ease my mind.

Feb. 10th, 1994

All the practising (I'm up at fifty minutes now) had successfully banished Harry Potter from my mind. Today, however, I've been reminded of him in the most extraordinary way.

In the morning, when I was brushing my hair in the dormitory, there was a thump on the window. Looking up, I saw a tiny bird fluttering up and down in front of the window, now and then slightly bumping against it.

When I went over; I saw it was an owl, the tiniest owl I've ever seen, and it was carrying a letter on its leg that seemed quite out of proportion compared to it. Curious, I opened the window, and the owl swooped into the room, twittering madly. It was only after it had flown round the place three or four times that I could finally get it to sit still for me to detach the letter from its leg. No sooner had I done this than it started up again, and, after another circle round the room, vanished through the window again.

Miss Fleur Delacour,

The Beauxbatons Carriage,

Hogwarts Grounds,

The address on the letter said, in a handwriting I had never seen before.

I've never been so surprised in my life, as when I read the note:

Dear Fleur,

I'm sorry for my outburst at our last meeting, and I'd like to talk to you and apologize. Please meet me at the Quidditch pitch on the Fourteenth at three o'clock. Bring your broom.

Hope you'll turn up,

Harry

PS: Not to worry, I'm still not susceptible to the veela charm.

I must have looked absolutely stupid, standing there, my hairbrush in one hand, and the letter in the other, and I guess I completed the impression when Margaux, who had entered without me noticing, said,

"Fleur? What is it?"

I jumped, and dropped the letter. Before I could prevent her, she stooped and picked it up. She may not even have intended to read it, but apparently the signature caught her attention, and then she couldn't help herself. A huge grin slowly spread over her face, as she handed the piece of parchment back to me.

"And?"

"What 'and'?" I must have sounded somewhat irritable.

"Will you meet him?"

"I'm not sure," I stammered, embarrassed. "Shall I? Oh, I don't – what shall I do? Tell me!" I finished desperately.

"Of course you'll go and meet him," she said in a soothing voice and put an arm round my shoulders. "Why shouldn't you? This note is harmless enough, and you don't exactly hate the idea, too, do you?"

I just shook my head, and I think I didn't look too intelligent, to put it mildly.

"So where's the problem?"

"We're opponents in the Tournament," I said in an attempt at being rational, but she didn't buy it.

"Well; so is Cedric, and I've never noticed you had any reservations about being friendly to him. No, you'd better admit it, not to me, mind you, but to yourself, you like that boy, it sticks out a mile!"

All I could do was nod silently.

I can't believe it, I'm having a date, - no, I must not be silly, it's not a date, it's just – well what is it?

Feb. 12th, 1995

To keep my mind off the weekend, I've been practising extra hard, and can keep up the charm for an hour and five minutes without too much difficulty.

"Well done!" Margaux told me when I emerged from the bath gasping for air. "Now I suggest you take a break, and on Monday start trying it in earnest!"

"You mean – in the lake?" I said, shivering in spite of the warm water I was sitting in.

"Yes, the lake," she grinned wickedly. "Will cool you down, too, if you get my meaning," she added with a wink.

I didn't bother to comment on that one.

Feb. 14th, 1995

After a night full of weird dreams, - I was at the bottom of the sea with my head in the stupid air bubble, watching fish with green eyes - I woke to a clear and cold morning.

"Do you know what the date is?" Iphigenie asked me at breakfast, looking at me with a shrewd expression.

"Oh, it's the fourteenth, why?" I replied, having no idea what she was driving at.

"Valentine's Day!" she shouted triumphantly.

"So what?" I still had no idea.

"Yes, it's not so commonly known in France; it's an English custom, originally a muggle thing from America," she started lecturing in her best teacher-like tone. "On this day everyone sends their sweethearts greetings, or flowers, or sweets. And now it's exactly today you are to meet your Harry…"

"He's not MY Harry!" But my protest was rather feeble. Though had not realised all the stuff about Valentine's Day, all the things I had heard about it came back to me.

"Surely it's just a coincidence," I said, trying to convince myself rather than anyone else.

"Well, you'll find out soon enough," Margaux grinned.

I must say all this has confused my even more.

+++

5 p.m.

If I was confused before, I don't know what I am now.

Wrapped in my cloak, with the hood up, I mounted my broom and flew over to the Quidditch pitch. A tiny speck that I had seen from afar soon turned into Harry Potter. This time, for the first time, actually, he didn't suddenly materialise out of nowhere, but was hovering on his broom next to the hoops in a relaxed and careless fashion.

Something, Quidditch instincts perhaps, must have told him that I was coming, for he turned round slowly, and started moving in my direction. As we approached each other, I could see his face more clearly, the friendly smile and the open look of the bright green eyes.

"Bon jour," he said, mispronouncing it horribly, so I had to suppress a smile. But he noticed.

"That awful?" He grinned at me.

"No, not much, - " I stammered, but his grin was irresistible. "Yes, in fact it was. But it's nice of you, anyway."

"I did try an enchanted dictionary, but seems it was no good. Hermione could have taught me, I suppose, but I don't think I could very well have asked her. I'm glad you've come." He continued, the grin slowly disappearing from his face. "I behaved like an idiot last time, I'm sorry about that, you meant it as a joke, and here I go crazy all over the place. How could I expect you to understand …"

"But I DO understand!" I interrupted him. "It's me who should apologise! I know exactly how you must feel with everybody gaping at you and expecting the most wonderful things from you, whether you like it or not, while you'd like nothing more than be a normal average boy that nobody looks at twice. And then I say that stupid thing, joke or no joke."

He was quiet for a moment.

"I see," he said slowly, his green eyes regarding me with a new expression. "It's something we have in common, isn't it? Though I think the 'wonderful things' people expect from you will be somewhat different." His grin was back in place.

I must have blushed heavily, because he went serious again at once. "Sorry," he said, and now it was he who turned red. "I know I shouldn't have said that…"

"It's all right," I assured him, smiling again. "At least we are even now – a joke for a joke."

"Let's shake on it." He extended his hand (which was a good thing, as I had no idea what he was talking about, I had never heard that English phrase before), and I gladly took it.

I'm still wondering, trying to recall and analyse the sensation: Although his fingers felt cold at the first touch, which was nor surprise as it really WAS cold, they caused a warm feeling that slowly spread across my whole body.

He maintained that gentle yet firm touch for another moment, but just before it might have started to become awkward he let go of my hand.

"Let's do some practising before it gets dark," he said, turning a mad somersault on his broom that made me hold my breath. "You did quite well last time we met up here, but let me show you a few tricks how to get more speed out of that broom of yours. Would be a waste if you didn't use it to its full capacities."

So he showed me how to shift my weight on my broom, how to lean over closer to the handle and other things I'd never thought of, and we had very good time during the next half hour or so. I've always enjoyed flying, but learning these new things and exploring new limits gave me satisfaction and joy that I have hardly ever experienced before. I could, for that short time, forget everything, and just enjoy the moment.

When dusk was setting, and it does set pretty soon here at this time of the year, we both came to a hovering halt next to the hoops again.

"That was lovely," I said, still out of breath from the latest manoeuvres. "Thank you so much for that wonderful afternoon, Harry! It has helped a lot to take my mind off - you know..." and I pointed towards the lake.

I believe his face clouded over for a moment, but I may have been mistaken in the fading afternoon light.

"Oh, that..." his voice sounded strange. "Yes, it's ten days to go isn't it? Well, best of luck, then, I don't suppose we'll meet again before that, will we?"

"That's probably right. So..." I didn't finish and just put out my hand to say good-bye; he squeezed it briefly, gave me another of those smiles, and disappeared towards the castle, while I slowly returned to the carriage.

Luckily, my friends are still down in the village, so I've had time to write this in peace, without them asking me all sorts of question, and to collect my thoughts and sort out my feelings, though I'm afraid this will take some longer time. I've never felt so confused before, and I have absolutely no idea what to think about Harry Potter, or myself, or what I'm going to do about the whole thing. I fell myself drawn towards him in a way that's completely new to me, and it makes me elated and frightened at the same time. I do so want to believe that here is someone, at last, who accepts me for the person I really am, but I'm more scared than ever that it may just turn out another disappointment, which would hurt so immensely more than ever before… I just dare not allow myself to hope.

+++

Of course, when they came back from the village, Margaux and Iphigenie wanted to know everything about my "date", as they keep calling it.

"How can I tell you anything?" I told them. "I don't know what to think of it myself. Es, it was nice, we went flying, and he showed me several tricks. But apart from that - I just don't know, so please don't bother me with all these questions. If there's something to tell, I promise you'll be first to hear about it."

I must have sounded pretty exasperated. Margaux put an arm round my shoulder.

"Don't worry," she said comfortingly. "Everything will sort itself out - one way or another. And I promise I'll help you if you need me."

"You're just scared," Iphigenie remarked in her usual analytical way, but stroking my arm tenderly, nevertheless.

How right she is.

Feb. 19th, 1995

"It's the lake today, mademoiselle," Margaux told me after lunch, a mischievous glint in her eyes. "It's high time for you to test that tetenbulle thing in earnest."

I had known it would come up one of these days, but I still felt less than enthusiastic. But she would take no excuses, and so I found myself at the bank about half an hour later. I had put an impervious charm on my robes so the would be water-resistant, as well as a warming spell; but from the way I was already shivering, I could tell it wasn't going to be much good.

"Cheer up," Iphigenie told me. "You know, water can never be colder than zero degrees, wich is a lot warmer than the air is today."

"Thanks, I needed that," I replied trying to put as much sarcasm into my voice as I could manage.

"You're welcome," she said, grinning at me widely.

Taking a few deep breaths to calm down, I started to perform the necessary movements and incantations to produce the tetenbulle char. When I finally felt the bubble form around my head, I rushed forward into the water and plunged in completely as soon as it was deep enough.

In spite of the warming spell, the shock was awful, and I had to exercise all my will-power not to run hurry back to dry land at once. But presently I got used to the feeling, though my robes, soaked in spite of the charm, were quite a nuisance. Now I understood why Viktor Krum alwayswore swimming trunks when he went into the lake.

The water was clear, and once my eyes had adjusted to the strange light I could see ahead without any problem. There were various small fishes around which seemed to look at me with surprise. I swam around for a couple of minutes, anf found I could breathe without any problem. Also, the cold wasn't getting any worse, on the contrary, I began to feel almost warm after a while.

Satisfied, I returned to my friends, who had been waiting for me.

"It works perfectly," I told them. "And the cold is not a problem either."

"Great," Iphigenie said drily. "Tomorrow you're going to take your wand along."

I said nothing.

Feb. 20th, 1995

Today I practised underwater wand use, and I think it worked well enough. Water does seem to deflect spells, though, so it is a bit difficult to aim correctly, but I think I can manage. Anyway, what will I need a wand for? I'll only have to retrieve something from the lake. If I only knew what it will be!

Feb. 21st, 1995

There is an unspoken tension between me and Cedric, which is not surprising. We are both getting more nervous as the Task approaches. Cho seems to understand and is trying to humour both of us. Have not talked to Harry since the fourteenth, only seen him from afar. He does not look well, there are deep shadows under his eyes, as if he didn't get any sleep at all these days. I do hope he has found a way to do the task. I'd be really sorry for him if he dropped out. Stupid of me, I know, I should be glad to have one competitor less; but he would not deserve it.

Feb. 22nd, 1995

The loveliest thing has happened today! They have caught two unicorn foals to present in the Care of Magical Creatures lessons. Maxime told us this morning at breakfast, and of course my friends and me went to see them right after lunch.

Unicorn foals are the loveliest creatures imaginable! They are all golden, and while grown ones have an air about them that can be rather intimidating, they radiate pure joy, trust and happiness. I can't imagine anybode not feeling the urge to rush up to them and hug them. They even allow boys to touch them, an unimaginable thing with adult ones.

When I hugged the two small animals, the most surprising thing happened: I could see Gabrielle's face before my eyes, as clearly as if she was standing right in fron of me. I wonder what it means.

There could have been nothin to boost my spirits more, and to encourage me better for the Task the day after tomorrow.