Him
Whenever he graces someone with a smile, I pretend that he is smiling at me, and it lights up my day, my life. For one moment, just one, everything in my world is perfect.
And then he turns to me with that patented smirk, and it's all gone, and I want to cry. But I can't. Because if I cry, I know that he will just hate me more.
If he hated me any more, I know that I would die.
In my dreams he comes to me, telling me how he never meant to hurt me, that we could just run away and be together. And it would be like heaven, our private heaven.
But if he came to me and really told me something like that, I would never believe him. Because he hates me. Draco Malfoy hates me. And he always will.
And it never mattered to me before.
But now… now, every time he sneers at me I shrivel inside. Every insult that he hurls hurts in a way that I never thought it could.
Sometimes it hurts too much…
I know I should give up. I mean, it's not like I couldn't replace him, couldn't find someone that would love me for who I am, and stop all of this pain.
I know that that someone would be nothing like him, and that they would probably make me happier than he ever could.
Maybe somewhere out there is someone that could make him happy too.
Maybe, maybe, maybe. All this uncertainty.
I should talk to him, really. Tell him all of this, tell him how I feel. And maybe he would agree, say 'yes',andmaybe we might find our own little private heaven far from here.
In my life, I cannot allow for 'maybe'. I need firmness, some safe ground to stand on in the sea of uncertainty that I flounder in.
The certainty is that Draco Malfoy is out of reach.
The certainty is that I am Harry Potter, and I will always be alone.
Eh, well... I felt like writing something, but you might possibly guess that I'm not in the mood for another chapter of All's Fair.
I don't really write stuff like this. Please tell me what you think!