Smiles evilly
Hope you like it... Just an anti-sue piece...
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Kira was beautiful. In fact, to say that she was beautiful was an understatement. Her hair was as a flowing river of golden radiance, her eyes shimmering pools of sapphire (or was that ruby...) .Her skin was a perfect milky white, and her lips were full and smooth, inviting the kisses that she so passionately refused, determined to not corrupt her purity until marriage. Her voice was sweet like the ringing of delicate silver bells, and how she could sing. She was offered countless auditions for big-name movies, but turned them down, wishing only for a quiet life with her best friend, Sasha.
She was all that, but she was also obsessed with Fire Emblem 7: Rekka no Ken. Oh how she would gaze blissfully at her countless images of the OMGHOTT!males from the fandom that were plastered all over her walls. Several were lovingly drawn by her classmates, while others were taken from websites that she had found. Then one day, as she gazed at a particular image of Raven and Lucius in a rather compromising position (her excuse being "if you squint and look at it sideways, Lucius looks like a girl"), she felt an odd tug and promptly fell through the floor.
She landed rather painfully in a clearing, surrounded by cute little birdies and...
Oh, who am I kidding!? She landed in the middle of a swamp, on top of an alligator. It snorted in disdain at first.
It then took a better look and screamed and ran for its life.
So, after a few hours of slogging through the swamp, after she was thoroughly mucky and disgusting, she heard with her super-sonic sense of hearing (OMGIJUSTMADETHATUP!!!!111!!!), voices. With her newly-acquired Sue-powers, she tracked it to a large fire (that somehow didn't burn down the swamp or become to damp to burn.
About it sat (OMGGUESS).
Raven, Lucius, Erk, Canas, Guy, Matthew, Hector, and Eliwood.
One thought passed through her fangirlish mind...
"OMGSCORE!!!!!!"
She planned her dramatic entrance for a few minutes before stepping forward to perform. At that moment, though, her ankle conveniently twisted, sending her sprawling onto the ground with a loud squish.
All eight men were up in a moment, weapons drawn. Kira had chosen this moment to use her OMGINSTA-PRETTYNESS!powers to restore herself to her usual beautiful self, and lay gracefully in a crumpled heap.
"Who goes there!?" Hector bellowed.
Matthew crept around the conveniently placed tree and his gaze fell upon Kira's pained,
unconscious form (yes, it's only a twisted ankle, but the... coughintensecough... pain was too much for her delicate, Sue-ish body). He gasped as he beheld her beauty...
He gestured for Guy to come over...
"Did you happen to still have in your possession that wonderful little Killing Edge?" he whispered.
Guy nodded, "Yes, why?"
"Sue problem..."
Several minutes later, the men sat back around their campfire, telling tales as Sue roasted on a spit. After all, if it's not human, it must not be cannibalism.
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Heh... Flame away, Sue-writers... Burn, baby, burn...