WTF Just Happened?
By
Sugarcult Babe
Disclaimer: If I owned Harry Potter, which I don't, why the fcuk (yay for using brand names in substitue of cussing!) Would I be writing on ? Use your brains, people, I know that you have them. But then again...I've been wrong before...
Summary: SBGW-Takes place during OotP. Spoilers for all the books. If you haven't read them, you shouldn't be on this site. Lupin told her not to flirt with him. She ignored his warnings. Now look where that got her. In the bed of one Sirius Black.
Chapter Four:
The Headquarters
FROM SIRIUS' POINT OF VIEW
I paced the dusty floor of my mother's room, anger surging through my veins.
Angry. I was angry. Angry at Dumbledore, for making me stay in this house that I hated. Angry at Remus, for agreeing with their former headmaster. Angry at Molly Weasley, for badgering me to clean the house before everyone arrives. Angry at Fudge, for being such a dumb shit. Angry at all of the Death Eaters, for being alive, especially Wormtail. Oh, yes, I don't think I will ever be able to stop being angry at the son of a bitch I used to call my friend. And I was angry at Voldemort, for ever existing, and his mother, for not drowning him when he was born. And, though I wouldn't admit it to Moony because that would be admitting he was correct, angry at myself for having ever suggested using my old house. And for switching secret-keepers. And for going after Wormtail the next day. And for having ever been born. I can blame my mum for that one, though.
Buckbeak was pulling at his tether grumpily, obviously no happier than I am about being under house arrest.
Footsteps sounded outside the dirty, dusty room, in the hall, and they stopped outside of the door. There was a knock, and I rolled my eyes. Moony...always so polite...
"Who is it?" I called mockingly. The door opened a bit and Remus poked his head inside.
"Who else would it be?" he asked incredulously. I shrugged. "We're the only ones here."
"Don't remind me," I groaned. Remus raised an eyebrow...how does he do that, raise one eyesbrow...I think I must have been attempting to do it too, because he gave me a very odd look.
"It's nice to know I am appreciated as your friend, Padfoot," Remus muttered sarcastically. I knew he was joking, therefore I could be equally as sarcastic.
"Always, Moony." Sarcasm really helps me vent my frustration, I've discovered. I can't leave the house? Might as well be a bitter prick toward Moony then.
"Alastor Moody is arriving today," he stated, ignoring my remark. My eyebrows shot up. Did Moody know I was innocent? He would curse me on the spot.
"Mad-Eye Moody?" I questioned, stopping my pacing an leaning against the wall, my arms crossed.
"I'm not entirely sure he enjoys it when people call him that-"
"Too bad. Won't he kill me on sight?" I continued. Remus looked thoughtful. I had been expecting a negative, but clearly no one had considered the fact that a paranoid ex-Auror might curse a supposed-murderer.
"I don't...think so," Remus said uncertainly. Yeah, that's reassuring.
"Hm. I suppose you'll feel no guilt whatsoever, then, when you have to tell Harry that I am dead because you forgot to tell an insane neurotic ex-Auror that I was innocent."
"I am so sick of your sarcasm," Remus said angrily. He did not yell; Remus hardly ever yelled. He was a very calm person. James and I used to place bets on who could get him to yell at us first. I usually won. Unless James did something stupid like took all of Remus' chocolate. Then it could get ugly.
"I'm sick of being in this house," I retorted.
"You've only been here for two weeks!" Remus shot back. I rolled my eyes.
"That's two weeks too long."
"Oh, get over it, Sirius!" Remus said loudly; not quite yelling, but very loud all the same.
"I don't want to," I mumbled, pouting slightly. No wait, I wasn't pouting! Sirius Black does not pout!
Remus rolled his eyes and turned, leaving the room with a slam of the large oak door.
A few minutes later he returned, without knocking this time.
"Oh," he said, as though just remembering something. "And the Weasleys are arriving in about three days. But they don't know it yet. I need you to write a letter to Molly and inform her of this."
I was about to ask why I had to do it, but Remus left before I could make a sound. Cursing my werewolf friend to hell, I went over to the large wooden desk in the far corner of my mother's room. I found a piece of very old parchment, a moth-eaten quill, and an inkwell quite easily, and set about to write the note.
I finished, and, satisfied with my curt note, I left the room in search of Remus. I finally found him in the kitchen, writing very neatly on an elegant paper with a calligraphy quill.
"Whatcha doing?" I asked, plopping down in the chair across from him.
"Re-creating my resume," he answered without glancing up.
"For what?" I inquired curiously, leaning over to read it.
"A job," he replied shortly, pulling it away from my gaze.
"Oh..." I said, leaning back in my chair until the front two legs were off of the ground. I propped myself up by resting my feet against the table. "But Moony, your job is to stay here and entertain me!"
"Do I get paid?"
"...."
"Hm."
"You are rewarded with the satisfaction of helping a friend."
Remus made a sound somewhere between a snort and a laugh...a snorgh...a lort...I dunno what to call it though.
"Do you not receive any satisfaction from helping me cope with my claustrphobia in this hell-hole, Moony?"
He didn't answer. I took that as a yes.
"Y'know, Moony, if you need money, you can just-"
"I don't want your money, Sirius," he interrupted. He continued writing.
"It's not a matter of whether you want it or not, Remus," I explained, completely serious now. "If you are in need of some cash, I mean-"
"I know what you mean, Sirius," Remus interjected wearily. He bowed his head slightly and squeezed the bridge of his nose. "I just want a job."
I was silent for a few seconds. Then: "Don't forget to put that you are a werefolf."
"Dammit, Sirius!" Remus snapped. I stared. Remus usually didn't lose his temper like that. "Would you just...just...I don't know. Just...go...somewhere...please!"
Without a word (I was still in shock at his outburst) I left, and wandered back up to my mother's room. Buckbeak was gnawing at his tether again. I sat on the floor near him after bowing and earning his returned gesture. I leaned against the wall, knees bent and arms resting on them. I bent my head back and observed the cobwebs above me.
"I want out of here," I muttered to myself.
Almost three hours later, Remus knocked on the door.
"Sirius?" he called. I didn't reply. He opened the door hesitantly, and stepped inside. I hadn't moved an inch. He sighed and walked over to me, sitting beside me and copying my position.
We sat in silence for a bit before he finally spoke.
"I'm sorry for snapping at you like that," he apologized. I acknowledged him with a nod. I had almost forgotten about it. Lost in my own thoughts, I had forgiven him hours ago.
"'S alright," I replied after a few minutes. "What time's Mad-Eye gonna be here?"
Remus didn't reprimand the nickname this time. "Any minute."
"Dumbledore had better cast that bloody charm soon," I stated, referring to the Fidelius Charm that Dumbledore was to perform, and act as Secret-Keeper, within the next week.
"I think he said he was going to perform it a couple days after the Weasleys arrive," Moony said thoughtfully.
"Why not before?"
"Molly has so many kids that it would be like telling a small army the secret."
"How many kids?" I asked, a grin spreading on my face.
The Weasleys were frequent visitors at the Potter house, and, once at a party, Arthur had brought his wife Molly, who was pregnant with their second child. The happy couple, along with their first two-year-old son Bill, had sat in the family room, deciding on names for their next child. If it was a boy, he was to be named Charles and if it was a girl it would be named Ginevra. That had been the alternative name for Bilius Weasley as well; Molly always said she wanted a girl, and she was in love with that name. Molly and Arthur were that perfect, cute couple that you just loved to hate. That had been the summer after my second year.
"Seven," My friend replied, a small smile also on his face.
I let out a bark of laughter. Seven children...that, for some reason, seemed like the perfect number for Molly and Arthur Weasley.
"And I taught five of them. Haven't met the oldest two, Bill and Charlie."
"I have," I announced. I had met them on several occasions, when I had been in my early and mid teens. James and I had even tested a few pranks on them when they had been very young...about six and four.
"Really...well anyways, we had better-"
Right then the doorbell rang very loudly, and my mother's portrait's screeching insults filled the air. The other portraits began moaning and yelling as well.
"INGRATES! SCUM! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU FILTHY HALF-BREEDS! OUT! GET OUT!"
"Oh, SHUT UP, MOTHER!" I shouted back, taking long strides downstairs to her open curtains. I grabbed a hold of them tightly and pulled with as much strength as I had, but to no avail.
"YOU WORTHLESS, GRYFFINDOR TRASH! YOU HAVE NO RIGHT WHATSOEVER TO BE IN THIS HOUSE! SHAMEFUL DISGRACE TO THE FAMILY! MUDBLOOD-LOVER! DIRT! GARBAGE! I REGRET TO ADMIT YOU HAVE MY BLOOD IN YOUR VEINS, YOU DISGUSTING-"
Eventually Remus came down and took the curtains in his hands as well. With stupendous effort we finally closed the curtains. I stomped to the door and opened it with a crash, angry at whoever had caused to commotion.
"WHAT?" I yelled, but was immediately face-to-face with the tip of a wand. My eyes nearly crossed looking at it, and decisively landed on the owner. I recognized the battle-scarred face instantly, and my face broke into a wide smile.
"Mad-Eye! Good to see you-"
"Can't say the same for you, Black," he growled. Remus chose that moment to rush over and began to explain my innocence. I demonstrated my animagus form to help prove a point (though I was vaguely unsure what that point was), and he understood.
"Sorry," Moody muttered, withdrawing his wand, which, mirroring its owner, also had several chips and scratches.
"'S alright. I get that a lot," I replied cheerfully. "And I expect to be getting that reaction very often in the near future, anyways..."
Moody only stayed for a little while, though I must say that even though his visit was short and I got a little tired of the whole "Constant Vigilance!" thing, new company was refreshing. I was really anxious for the Weasleys to arrive so that the house would at least have some semi-permanent souls other than mine here for the summer.
On the day they were ste to arrive, I had to clean several rooms completely on my own, as Remus had left the day before. He cleaned the one that was to be Arthur and Molly's, but left the rest to me. I found myself rushing around, being the procrastinator that I am, and eventually each was at least inhabitable.
There were five: one for Bill and Charlie to stay in whenever they did stay the night, one for Ron and Harry to share, once the latter arrived, one for the twins that Remus had informed me about, one for Peirce, or Percy, or whatever the hell his name was, and one for the youngest, the girl, and Hermione to share, once Hermione showed up, of course.
When the doorbell rang, I was conveniently in the complete opposite end of the house, and had to run downstairs and to the large front door amidst my mother's screams. I opened the door, allowing Remus to lead the large family in, and rushed to the portrait to shut her up before the other portraits woke up. I ripped the curtains closed and turned to see about half a dozen wands pointed at me.
Used to this by now, I glanced over and noted Ron, who did not have his wand pointed at me, taking in the surroundings. He looked at me and I nodded hello. He returned it with a smile, and my gaze drifted over the others.
The twins, wands out...looked exactly alike. It would be murder to tell those two alike.
I saw a tall one with long hair tied back and an earring, a shorter one that resembled the twins slightly, with a few burns on his arms. That had to be Charlie, the one who worked with dragons.
I saw Molly, looking slightly nervous, and Arthur, wand out, of course, and the girl...I did a small double take.
She was quite pretty. They all had red hair, of course...how could they not? I had never known a Weasley without red hair...but hers was wavy and long, almost to the small of her back. She was short, thin, freckles across the bridge of her nose and apples of her cheeks. Delicate face structure, with a thin nose and big eyes framed with darker lashes. High cheekbones, and very nice lips. Hm...she could be-no. She was-what?-fourteen, was it? If even that?
I allowed my gaze to travel to Remus, who was smirking slightly.
"Why did you ring the doorbell?" I asked inquisitively, as if I didn't know he just did it to annoy me.
"I knew it would aggravate you." Bingo.
"Hm," I said. "Hello, Molly."
She nodded slightly, avoiding eye contact.
"Okay," I said slowly. I turned to her youngest son. "Hi, Ron!"
"Hi, Sirius!" Ron replied, equally as sarcastically cheerful. He evn added a wave. This kid was good.
"Listen, Black," Arthur said through gritted teeth in a slightly threatening way. "If you even try to harm my family, I'll-"
"Oh, yes, Arthur, I put Remus under the Imperious and made him bring you all here to kill you. Prepare to die." I said all this in a very monotonous voice. Arthur's ears went bright red, and I knew my sarcasm was making him angry.
"Listen," Remus began before Arthur could retort. "Sirius is innocent. We ahev proof, and Dumbledore knows. He will verify it, as well. By the way, welcome to the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix."
A/N: I know, it's total crap. Thanks for all the reviews!
BridgetRiley: Thank you!
Pyrogurl4: OMG I LOVE your fics I have read like all of them, and they totally rule! Thanks for the review and stuff, too!
DancerForLife3320: Lol, ok. Read more, then! And review too! Thanks for the review! I'll do the same for you!
Sweet 16 Movie Buff: Shea, I went to THE Warped Tour! Or at least, one of the ones in my state (CA). Anyways, I saw Coheed and Cambria, and the guy's hair was all huge and stuff like in the video! It totally ruled! I saw Yellowcard, because I am in LOVE with them! And A New Found Glory, but I only got to hear "All Downhill From Here" and "My Friends Over You", which are like my favorites of their singles anyway, and I saw Taking Back Sunday! OMFG they are SO awesome! I got a signed CD! Yeah! Go me!!!! Their newest CD/debut thingy is so friggin awesome! Do you have it yet? Yeah, I'll read your stories and stuff! Thanks for the compliments! Here's an update!
Abus's bitch: heehee...I always laugh when I see your pen name...even though I have opnly seen it twice...lol. Anyways, Yeah, I know it was short. This one was much longer though, Right? Yeah...and I didn't take 8 months! Lol. Thanks for the review!
Elizabeth Turner: Yeah, it was really short. But this one was much longer,a nd that seemed like a good place to end it. Yay for feelin the love!...kinda...Thanks for the review!
Littlediva16: Puh-LEASE! Sirius didn't die in the end of OotP! He's HIDING behind the veil (that is what me and my friend say, anyways). Lol. I would never kill someone as sexy as Sirius! Thanks for the review!
OK, guys, thanks for all the reviews! Let's get some more, what do you think? It makes me update more often! REVIEW PLEASE!!!