This is my first song fic and my first attempt at a R/S fic, so be gentle J
Un betaded.
English is my second language J
Feedback is adored.
Anywhere but here
The view from the boat was clouded with fog. The wind was strong, making the salty water splatter onto the vessel and reach his lips; the chapped lips that missed his kiss. The man gripped the collar of his battered down coat and closed it around his neck. The wind blew stronger as the small and rocky island came into view.
As the boat came to a stop, several people came out of it, and moved into the direction of the tall fortress. But the man stood tall and looked up: no windows. The fortress looked as if it had been carved out of a rock, and not constructed. Everything about it was cold and solid, and gray. Not black. Never Black.
The man slowly made his way toward the front gates. A chill passed through him as he entered, along with the group of people. They were there to investigate the place that once held so many criminals and now was deactivated. After so many escapes, after the guards left, the prisoners were taken to a different type of hell while this one was being rebuilt in order to, once more, be the place where despair reigned. Azkaban was, without question, worse than any full moon.
He entered silently, and almost at once, his body got cold. First the inside, then the outside, and the man thought his heart had turned into a stalactite. He knew it had and he couldn't bare it any more. As the others scrutinized the walls and doorways, the lonely man went up the stairs that led to the tallest tower. There, only a few cells held the most dangerous criminals, and in the end of the hallway, he found the door closed. Careful steps took him to it, and as he looked inside, his stalactite heart made its presence known. A man stood in shadow but even in the dark he could recognize who he was.
Dear my love, haven´t you wanted to be with me
And dear my love, haven´t you longed to be free
I can´t keep pretending that I don´t even know you
And at sweet night, you are my own
Take my hand
But as his hands reached the cold and rusty iron on the door, the shadow vanished, and all he wanted was to vanish as well. He entered the cell and closed the door behind him. Silence. Cold. Longing. He sat on the floor and leaned against the icy wall. Twelve years of this. He sighed in order to breathe, for his heart had one demand, and as he looked around the cell, he knew there was no way around it.
He had gone to visit the prison for the thought there was where Sirius had gone. The veil had to lead him somewhere, and if Sirius was lost, he might have gone back to the place he knew so well, the place he once had fled from. He had tried Grimmauld Place, but there was no one there. There had never really been. So he tried Azkaban, only to find his own fears staring back at him. Loneliness. Something he knew so well in the past was about to become his future.
We´re leaving here tonight
There´s no need to tell anyone
They´d only hold us down
So by the morning light
We´ll be half way to anywhere
Where love is more than just your name
It was hard to get the pass to the Department of Mysteries, but he knew all the right people, had all the right reasons to go back. In truth, he was only coming back to where he had died. When Sirius crossed the veil, he, unknowingly took Remus with him. He meant to follow, but Harry couldn't lose a life he didn't get a chance to live, so he gave up his chance. Harry was safe at home, now, and Remus wasn't. There was no home for him. There never was. Parents dead. Sirius arrested. Friends gone. No one there but the beast inside of him. But then ironically enough, in the Shrieking Shack, the place he suffered his transformations on, the place where he thought resembled himself, battered and desert, life in the form of a huge black dog, came back to him.
From then on, Remus had been given a second chance, and he took it. Two years to make twelve go away. And they lived it to the fullest. Even at Sirius' old house, they managed to be happy. Locked away from the world, they had each other to keep company, and that was enough. But then, it happened. He crossed a veil Remus couldn't tear open. He vanished with everything Remus had ever wanted, had ever loved. He was everything to him. Since then all there was left of Sirius were memories of touches, kisses, but they weren't enough. Not anymore.
I have dreamt of a place for you and I
No one knows who we are there
All I want is to give my life only to you
I´ve dreamt so long I cannot dream anymore
Let´s run away, I´ll take you there
As Remus descended toward the dias, the torches around the room lit up. His hazel eyes were fixed on the veil, as if waiting for Sirius to come out of it, shake his long hair and smile at him. Remus would scowl at him for what he put him through, but all anger would be forgotten by Sirius' smile, by his touch, by his kiss. It was beyond his understanding how a man as strong as Sirius could have such a gentle touch …
Remus stopped right at the foot of the dias and looked up. No Sirius. Nothing. He stepped up and walked a bit closer. No sound. No bark like laugh. Nothing.
Forget this life
Come with me
Don´t look back you´re safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one´s left to stop you
He knew he could recognize Sirius in the dark, and that he wasn't going to let him wonder alone. Remus wasn't scared. He had nothing else to lose, but a small chance to find him, and that was enough. He didn't have to come back, just find him, and keep him. Forever.
Confidently, he took one more step toward the veil and vanished beyond it. It felt like falling a step, but a hand caught his, preventing him from falling. All around him was darkness, but it wasn't cold, but pleasant. There was a pathway in front of him where a light shone in the end. The hand holding his didn't let go and he knew whose it belonged.
As they walked down the pathway, hand in hand, Remus felt the stalactite melt in his chest. As the light from the path shone on his face, he looked to find his life smiling at him. The bark like laugh made its presence known and Remus knew he wasn't dead. Not anymore.