Later...

"Alright." Carolyn said pacing back and forth in her dining room. "Now lets see… Who could I ask to be in a TV show with me and Katie?"

Suddenly the door opened and Cronos walked in. Cronos was an extremely good-looking 16-year-old boy. He was a little taller than Carolyn, and had decent sized muscles for someone his age. He didn't look super beefy, but he wasn't downright scrawny either. His skin was a lightly tanned color. His hair was short and black with red streaks coming down from the roots. (His hair had natural red streaks, go figure). His eyes were a scary red color, but he wasn't scary at all. (Unless you made him mad). He normally wore a black long-sleeve shirt with a single red stripe running down each arm with black pants, and white sneakers with a red lightning bolt on each side.

But now his hair was dripping wet, and he was dressed in a black and red bathrobe with black slippers (he bought 'em at Hot Topic, his favorite store). He looked extremely mad.

"Carolyn?" He snapped. "I found some of your hair in the shower!"

 "Are you sure its mine?" She asked as she pulled a stomach muscle trying not to laugh.

"Well let's see…" Cronos said sarcastically, "Its short, it's blond, it tried to attack me. Yes, I'm sure its yours!"

Cronos lived in the same house as Carolyn. He wasn't related to her in any way, they weren't boyfriend and girlfriend either. They were two friends who occupied the same home. They were like the odd couple, they argued a lot. But otherwise things were okay. Although Carolyn always ordered Cronos around by giving him the puppy eyes. So she was really in charge of the house. (Don't ask where their parents are. Cronos is an orphan, and Carolyn's parents aren't in this story).

"Cronos? I need help with something." She said.

"If it's about that con you're planning to use on the CIA forget it! I'm in enough hot-water with them already!" Cronos snapped folding his arms. "Blow up a national monument, and you're paying for it the rest of your life!"

"No, this is about something else."

 "Fine, let me get dressed first." He sighed. He turned and left the room. A few minutes later, he came out wearing his normal gothic-looking clothes. But even though he dressed like one, Cronos wasn't a Goth. Although I'd be lying if I said he didn't have his moments…

"Alright what's the problem?" Cronos asked. Carolyn sat down.

 "Well, it all started when…"

"You mind if I drink while you talk?" Cronos asked walking up to the fridge.

"Hmm? Oh, sure. Go right ahead."

Cronos opened the refrigerator. It was stuffed full of a lot of stuff, mostly candy and soda. However, Cronos reached past the cans of Coke and flipped a hidden switch in the back of the fridge. The normal shelve of the fridge sank back into the wall. Then another shelf popped out of the floor in its place. It was Cronos's secret liquor cabinet.

Cronos's liquor supply was nothing any sane person would touch. If Cronos didn't get you, the jet-fuel-like spirits would. Then a group of teenagers who broke into the house one day (while Carolyn and Cronos were still home. The teens weren't very smart), had discovered the stash and then the mass brawling had begun. Cronos's psychic attacks sent a few people to the hospital, and others went blind from drinking raw alcohol. But other than that, no real harm done. Cronos had the amazing ability to hold his liquor. He could chug his entire stash of booze and not feel slightly tipsy, although he'd probably die from alcohol poisoning if he tried to do so.

(Don't ask why minors drink alcohol in this tale. IT'S JUST A STORY!)

Cronos grabbed a normal can of beer and cracked it open. He flipped the switch again, and the fridge returned to normal. He slammed it shut and sat down across from Carolyn.

"So what's on your mind?" Cronos asked taking a swig of beer.

Carolyn explained about Channel 13, her plans to buy it, and her need of morons to help produce the show.

"Well, I'm in." Cronos said smiling. "Someone will need to keep the morons under control."

 "Aw Cronos," Carolyn said smiling, "That's no way to be talking about your fellow idiots."

"Oh cram it." Cronos snapped. "Why don't you call Caitlin and ask her and Alex to help out? I'm gonna go take a nap." With that, he got up and left.

"Caitlin? Of course! I'm such an idiot!" Carolyn cried. She ran to the phone and dialed Caitlin's number. Caitlin was another of Carolyn's close friends. Alex was Caitlin's boyfriend, and another friend of Carolyn's. He and Cronos never got along well however. When they first met him, Alex was a real ladies man and hit on Carolyn all the time. For some reason, Cronos always got pissed at him because of it. Since he started dating Caitlin, Alex had calmed down considerably but he still didn't hesitate to cop a feel when Cronos wasn't looking. Of course, he always wound up with a black eye from Carolyn's left hook afterwards.

Caitlin was a pretty 15-year-old girl with long bushy brown hair and gray eyes. Alex was a 15-year-old boy. He was very handsome. He had blond hair tied back in a small ponytail, and bright green eyes. Even if he WEREN'T such a player, it would've been hard to keep the girls away from him.

"Hello?" Caitlin said answering the phone.

Carolyn heard Alex's voice in the background. "If it's a girl named Tiffany, I'm not here!"

Carolyn quickly leapt into an explanation about the TV channel business. When she was finished, Caitlin sounded more excited than she ever had in her entire life.


 "ARE YOU KIDDING?? OF COURSE WE'LL HELP OUT!"

 "What's Alex doing over there anyway?" Carolyn asked.

"We're watching 'The Return of the King'."

 "I thought that was still in theaters."

 "No, it…Wait a minute…So it is…huh…"

"Whatever."

"So…" Caitlin added hopefully. "Will this show have need of my musical talents?"

Carolyn sighed. Caitlin was a great singer, but unfortunately Carolyn hated musicals. Whenever Caitlin tried to sing around her, Carolyn always shut her up. "Um…no."

"DAMNIT!" Caitlin swore loudly. "Well…I guess we could still help out…"

 "THANKIES!"

"Is that Carolyn?" Alex's voice asked. "Gimme the phone!"

Carolyn heard the sound of the phone exchanging hands. Then she heard Alex's smooth 'Mr. Cool Dude' voice that Cronos hated. "Hey Carolyn, what's up baby?"

 "Not much…" She gulped miserably. She hated it when Alex acted like this. It made her feel so guilty.

 "Is Cronos in the same room?"

 "No…" Carolyn slapped her hand over her mouth realizing she'd just spoken the forbidden words. Alex was an okay guy. He tried not to be such a player, but old habits die hard.

"Sweet. I just wanted to say, that somebody better call heaven…"

But before he could finish the pickup-line, Carolyn heard the sound of Caitlin striking the back of Alex's head with a heavy object.

"YOU CREEP!" Caitlin roared, "I TOLD YOU TO STOP HITTING ON MY FRIENDS!"

 "DAMNIT WOMAN!" Alex shrieked, "DON'T BOTHER ME WHILE I'M ON THE PHONE!" Carolyn could practically hear Caitlin turning into her 'crazy demon form'.

"WHY YOU MOTHERFU-"

But before this story could contain serious profanity, Carolyn slammed the phone down on the receiver. Caitlin and Alex always fought like that whenever Alex hit on another girl (which was everyday). But Caitlin always won, and they always made up immediately afterwards.

No sooner had Carolyn hung up, when the phone suddenly rang.

"If Alex wants to try again…" Carolyn grumbled. She picked up the phone. "Hello?"

 "Carolyn?" Katie's voice squealed from the other line, "Didja find anyone?"

"So far, I've got Cronos, Caitlin, and if he gets out of the hospital in time, Alex."

"Cool! We still need more people though!" Katie added.

"Did you get off your butt and find anyone?"

 "I convinced Sam to join us!" Sam was Katie's boyfriend. He was a calm, good-natured boy, (unlike Cronos who's a real hard-ass). And he wasn't perverted either (like Alex, need we say more?). Sam was a good-looking 14-year-old boy with short spiky brown hair and brown eyes. Sam was also Cronos's best friend. Although Cronos pushed him around a bit, they were still good buddies.

"All my friends have boyfriends except for me…" Carolyn thought sadly.

Suddenly she heard Sam's voice through the phone saying: "OKAY KATIE! I'LL WORK ON THE STUPID SHOW! NOW LET ME OUT OF THIS HEADLOCK!"

"NEVER!" Katie cried. Then she addressed Carolyn again. "I got Lauren to help out too. I promised her popcorn and fudge." Lauren was Katie's younger sister. "Why don't you ask Tom to help out? Then you can ask that dumbass mentor of yours."

"Good idea." Carolyn answered, "I'll call 'em up right now." Suddenly Katie hung up. "Doesn't anyone say goodbye anymore?" Carolyn sighed. She hung up and turned and yelled up the stairs. "YO TOM! WANNA BE ON MY TV SHOW?!"

"SURE! NOW SHUT UP! ME AND CRONOS ARE WATCHING WRESTLING!"

Carolyn heard Cronos screaming from upstairs. "GIVE HIM THE BODY SLAM YA PANSEY!"


Tom was Carolyn's younger brother. He had a craving for wrestling and junk food. Tom was about 10-years-old, with short brown hair and brown eyes. He got on Carolyn's nerves CONSTANTLY, but it was only her love for her sibling that kept her from going psycho and destroying him.

Carolyn then picked up the phone again and dialed her mentor, Dr. Sloth's, number. A few years back, Sloth had taught Carolyn the ways of combat and countless other survival skills. Carolyn had been a very reluctant student though. Sloth was the mastermind of an evil organization, he'd been hoping to train Carolyn to become the most powerful of his evil henchmen. Naturally, she declined.

"You gotta be kidding me." She had said. "The evil uniform clashes with the rest of my wardrobe."

After that, Carolyn had done a 360 on the path she was taking and she became a warrior for justice instead. After that incident Sloth tried not to speak to her, but he still considered her his pupil and tried to help her when she needed it. But instead of taking on more pupils, Sloth said he was afraid of getting another obnoxious student like Carolyn, he was now teaching 8-year-olds self-defense for the real world.

When Sloth picked up the phone he sounded annoyed. "This better be important Carolyn. I'm in the middle of an important lesson." Carolyn rolled her eyes and smiled. Sloth wasn't really such a bad guy. He'd gotten a bad rap from the whole 'evil' thing. But once you overlooked that, he was half-normal.

After she explained the situation, Sloth retorted: "Why don't you just get that drunk boyfriend of yours, what's his name...Cronos, to help out?"

Carolyn blushed angrily. On second thought, Sloth was a minor a-hole. "He is NOT my boyfriend wise-ass!"

"Oh come on! You two live together for cripes sake! Who knows what you do behind everyone's back? ...Hang on for a minute, I gotta show the kids this technique." She then heard Sloth addressing the kids in the background saying: "Alright, now if your opponent holds out his arms like this, it means he's going to strangle you...or swipe your wallet. Now, before he gets a chance to do that, you have to drop down onto you knees, like this, and say 'PLEASE DON'T STRANGLE ME!!!'. Remember to fold you hands as you're begging, because if you forget to fold your hands, you're dead."

Sloth picked up the phone again. "Sorry 'bout that."

"What are you teaching those kids??"

"Carolyn, Carolyn, Carolyn. Your breed of fighter is dying out. If someone tried to mug you or Cronos on the street, you'd probably whip your sword out and cut his head off!"

"You got me there…" She sighed.

"No one else would do that these days. You can thank the judicial system for that! So basically, I'm teaching these kids how to beg for their lives. Its better than getting a traitorous student like YOU were."

"Cronos and me live together, because he has no family and nowhere else to go!" She snapped suddenly reverting back to the old topic.

"Yeah sure." Sloth laughed. "And I'm the pope in Rome. But if you really want, I'll be in this little TV show of yours. It'll be a nice break from my current occupation. I'll be right over." He hung up.

Carolyn hung up and sighed. Carolyn knew a lot of strange people, but Sloth was probably the least sensible adult she'd ever met. He took teenagers as students, tried to mutate the entire planet with a ray gun, and tried to corrupt a sacred relic. He was probably the only person on the planet who was rooting for a nuclear war. When Carolyn had been brave enough to ask him why on one occasion, he had said: 'The value of my comic-book collection would skyrocket!'. Carolyn didn't have the heart to tell him what million-degree temperatures do to newsprint.