This is my first attempt for an ItaSasu fanfiction. I started with this fiction a while ago, and was constantly thinking about 'Shall I put up the story or not?' I wasn't sure if readers would appreciate the idea of Sasuke being blind. But I really need the reviews for this fic, it helps me getting further with the story.
Note: About how he got blind, I knów it's not very original, butI couldn't think of something else.
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Chapter One: Can't Catch Light
My eyes hurt.. They hurt with seeing the darkness every day. They hurt without seeing light ever again.
It's dark, no single light comes through. I can't see it; It's all darkness..
It's light, or that is what I think it is. I can't recognize it anymore. I only see black.
It's grey. I feel mist coming up, but I can't see it. I feel the clouds on my skin, but that's all I see.
I can't see you. But I feel your arms around. You push me away, but I do have feelings. I'm not the ice everyone thinks that I am.
My eyes hurt. I can't see with them. I see with my senses.
I can feel you coming closer, but that's all. I can't see your smile dancing on your face. I can't see the sun playing with your hair.
It's dark. I want to see you.. But I can't…
I open my eyes, and the darkness greets me, just like every morning. I hide behind my so called glares, glares that hate but can't see the world around. It's true that I don't like company that much.. No one knows about it… It's too dark in my thoughts, and it also is outside of them. There isn't any light that can heal the darkness inside of me. The darkness outside will never be healed though.
I never have said these words before, but I know I have to do it someday. I'm scared of the reactions I will get; what they will say about me, when I will tell them that my eyes can't see the light anymore, and that they only catch the darkness. Everyone will be suprised, be confused, will be laughing about my antics I keep up every day, month.. Even years.. My eyes can only see darkness, only the black of my own imagination. It's true… Everything in my life is a lie, except that.. I'm blind, my eyes don't catch light. They're defect.. But can't be repaired on a sunny day that the elevator mechanic came to repair the elevator in the high building.
I'm scared. I don't want to be left alone. I can't see light.. There is no reason to leave me alone. Why do I keep up this lie?
I'm scared. I don't want him to know. He says that I'm weak.. pathetic.. But not anymore! Then I could see the light. Then I could greet the sun with a cheery ''Ohayoo''.. But not anymore.. He doesn't know that my eyes are defect, are broken with my own missery.. With the tears that were spilled every day. The massacre.. The murders.. The blood.. The red spilled liquid that lay on the floor.. And the only thing I could do was stare. Stare at the bloody bodies in the room.. And I was scared, so scared of the man that stood there, the man that said that he was my brother. He said he would come back, to see if I became stronger. To see if he little brother did what he wanted me to do.
He didn't of the hurt I was going through every day. Of the betrayal.
I didn't know when he would come. If he would betray me once more. If he would hurt me because of the darkness that I saw every day.
The blindness itself was an accident. It happened on an mission. But even then they didn't see it. They didn't see that I couldn't throw the shuriken right anymore. They couldn't see that I thought that a tree was Kakashi-sensei. I trained my abilities and now I didn't see with my eyes anymore. I saw with my senses, my ability to hear, to speak, to sense where something was.
But even if I didn't really saw, I could still see the bloodspats on the carpet. I could see dead bodies.. I could see my brother, saying that I was nothing than a weak and pathetic burden to him. I still could feel all the love fall off me.
Since then I wore the mask that everyone could see so clearly. The mask that said that they had to leave me alone, that I didn't want any company, any love. I lied to myself.. I wanted someone.. But I made the wrong choice…
I swinged my legs over my bed, until I felt the floor under my bare feet. Walking slowly I scanned the room in the search for any unknown chakra. There wasn't any. I walked to my closet, with the problem I had every day. I forgot that there still was a wall.. For the about thousanth time this month, I almost bumped into it.
After that I had dressed myself –it was a good thing that my clothes where all the same- I went dow for breakfast.
Quickly after I turned blind I learned that stairs were very terrifying when you couldn't see them. The first time I went down I almost fell.. That was.. not funny..
I was silent and stayed silent while I made some food for myself. Man, it was a miracle that I could find the things that I needed.
I think it was about half past eight when I left. Since I couldn't look on the clock anymore..
I walked out of the house, locking the door behind me.
Listening to the sounds around me I tried to orientate myself. So I was near the bridge where we always met Kakashi-sensei.. that was good.. I had never been so quick.
I could hear Naruto mumble a small ''Ohayoo'' when I stood next to him. Okay, so I knew I stood next to Naruto..
''Ohayoo..'' I mumbled back. I could feel Naruto watching me and I turned away. I didn't want him to see my eyes… If I would give him a glance the only thing he would see was that I didn't look straight at him. Maybe I stared at some kind of tree, maybe at the other side of the bridge.. I don't know; that's why I just don't look at him.
''Ohayoo, Sasuke-kun, '' I heard Sakura suddenly say. Almost jumping I looked to the way where the sound was coming from. I heard her gasp and I cursed under my breath. I forgot it! Damnit! She had seen my cloudy, lifeless eyes..
I could feel someone come closer and in a reflex I took a step back.
''Is it true?'' I could hear Naruto voice ask.
''I don't know what you're talking about,'' I replied coldly.
''I'm just concerned, damnit. You're just a fucking teme!''
''I don't need your pity.. I can take care of my own.'' I turned away, to hide the tears that appeared in the corner of my eyes.
''Yo!'' Kakashi's voice suddenly said. For the second time this day I almost jumped. It remained silent. There was no ''You're late!'' or ''What kind of excuse do you have now?''
I didn't like this silence. What the hell were they doing?!
''What's up with you guys?'' I heard Kakashi ask. There was still no answer. In the background I could hear the birds softly chirp. ''Is anyone listening to me?'' Still no answer. ''What is wrong with you guys today?!''
Sakura spoke up, her voice almost couldn't be heard. ''It's.. it's.. Sasuke-kun..'' I swallowed lightly. Kakashi would come.. He would see it too.. He would.. He would… What would he do?
Kakashi spoke again. ''What is it?''
''His.. his.. it were his.. eyes.. They weren't what they used to be.. They were.. different..''
A tear started to slip out of the corner of my eye; birds still chirping. I knew I couldn't take it anymore. I knew I had to do something.. It didn't matter what… Another tear fell on the ground.
''Turn around, Sasuke.'' I heard Kakashi say. My head snapped up and in a whirl I turned. Anger took over all my senses.
''You don't know anything about me!'' I yelled. ''You guys didn't even see it! You didn't see it, damnit!'' I was getting really angry now. Tears started to stream. ''It's true! I'm not perfect! I have things to deal with like anyone else in this whole fucking world! I can't see! Do you hear me, I can't see! My eyes stopped working, I can only see darkness.. Every day..'' It wassilent, Too silent, if you ask me.
I turned around to leave but someone grabbed my arm. ''Let go off me!'' I yelled angrily.
''You need help.'' I heard Kakashi say.
''I don't care!'' I yelled back. I pulled myself free from the hurting grip and ran away, hopefully to my house. I didn't care anymore.. I didn't care if I would die right now, I didn't-
I bumped into someone and fell on the ground. Muttering some things under my breath I stood up again. A voice let me snap out of my thoughts.
''Aniki.. Is that you?'' My eyes widened.
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That Sakura, Naruto and Kakashi hadn't seen it, I know that that's almost impossible. I may change that, but for now I just 'let it be'. Thank you for reading, if you would review I'll try to update as soon as possible.