Carolyn's Comments:

Mood: Happy

Rant: This is probably one of the most important chapters in the story. The cast of my favorite book series 'Cirque Du Freak' arrives. Me, Katie, and Caitlin all love the series, but unfortunately not many people we know read it. So if you could try to read the series and tell me what you think in a review, I'd appreciate it. The 'Cirque' cast is some of the many people from various books and movies I plan to put into this fic. But unlike other fics like this, when most people come, they'll STAY.

(Also, Katie help me write this chapter, so if there are any major grammatical errors IT'S ALL KATIE'S FAULT!)

Disclaimer: I do not own 'Cirque Du Freak' All the characters from that series are the property of the great Darren Shan.

Outside…

As everyone set up the shopping carts and water slides, Carolyn read the plan of action for the episode shoot.

"Okay everyone! Listen up! We've linked all the water slides in the park up to form one big racecourse! There will be three teams on separate tracks! Each will have their own shopping cart!

The three teams will consist of:

Team One:

Caitlin and Alex

Team Two:

Carolyn and Cronos

And Team Three:

Katie and Sam.

After my line we'll all shoot off the edge of the track and meet our horrible dooms. Any questions?"

Everyone stared at her openmouthed in shock.

"Glad everyone understands me. Okay Cronos, lets get in the cart."

"NOOOOO! I DON'T WANNA!" He dropped down on his knees and hugged her leg in a pitiful attempt to beg for mercy. "PLEEEEEASE DON'T MAKE ME GO! I'M BEGGING YOU! Have I told you how cute you look today?? Have you been dieting?? Your butt looks smaller!"

"Flattery will get you nowhere." Carolyn said sternly.

"Crap." Cronos sighed as he was tossed into the cart. She climbed in after him. She turned to Katie, Sam, Caitlin, and Alex who were already in their respective carts. "You guys ready?!"

"Ready!" Katie said grinning as she gave Carolyn a thumbs-up sign.

"You seem pretty confident." Sam remarked.

"Of course I am!" Katie said smiling, "Carolyn said nothing bad will happen and it'll be fun! Since Carolyn said it, it must be true!"

"Why do you think that way?" Sam asked in bewilderment,

"I trust Carolyn because she told me to!"

"THAT'S A HORRIBLE REASON TO TRUST HER!"

"No it isn't! Carolyn's always helping people! They just never understand her specific KIND of help so they usually end up running…or screaming…or bleeding…or burning."

"This will not end well." Sam sighed slapping himself on the forehead.

"You're right, it won't!" Carolyn said gleefully. "On your mark…get set…"

"TELL MY MOM I LOVE HER!" Alex wailed in terror.

"GO!"

"MAY THE FORCE BE WITH US PLEASE!" Katie cheered as the shopping cart began to roll downhill. She hurried towards the front of the car and spread out her arms. "LOOK SAM! I'M FLYING!"

titanic theme music begins to play in the background

THUMP!

music stops

Sam looked back at the portion of the track they had just passed over. "WE HIT SOMEONE!"

"Oh crap!" Carolyn wailed, "Not ANOTHER lawsuit!" She pulled out a remote control and hit a red button. A huge stone wall sprang up from the track and in front of Katie and Sam's cart. They slammed into it at full force. Meanwhile a pile of fluffy white pillows sprang up in front of Carolyn and Cronos and they landed softly and safely.

"How come you got the pillows?" Katie grumbled pulling herself up from the wreckage of her cart.

"Because I'm the director. I get pillows and you get a wall."

"Um…what about dumb and dumber?" Cronos asked pointing at Caitlin and Alex who were still zipping down the track, screaming like little girls.

"I bet I'll get blamed for that." Carolyn grumbled. "Someone go stop them. Now, let's see who Katie ran over THIS time!"

"ONE TIME!" Katie yelled, "I GOT DRUNK AND RAN MYSELF OVER ONE STINKING TIME! OKAY?!"

"How the hell did she manage to run herself over?" Tommy asked in amazement as everyone hurried over to Katie's latest hit-and-run victim.

"It's a funny story actually," Carolyn said smiling, "I'll tell you sometime."

A boy with yellowish green hair and dark squeamish skin lied face down. His skin looked like it was a strange skin condition or rash of some sort. Track marks trailed down his back. Carolyn reached his body first closely followed by Katie.

"Is he ok?"

"Lets see." Carolyn picked him up by his hair and showed Katie. The boy's face was in a look of shock. And he had a bloody nose.

"WAAH!"

Carolyn slapped him a few times till the dazed look in his red eyes became normal.

"Where am I…?"

"You're in a water park. Sign this!" Carolyn said sticking a contract in his face. "When you sign this it means you won't be able to sue us for the grave injury that you are suffering from."

The boy was still in a daze so he signed the contract without a fight. Carolyn smiled and looked at the signature in satisfaction. Her eyes widened as she spotted the name.

"Evra Von?" She said frowning, "Evra Von what?"

"That's it." Evra said shrugging. "Just Von."

"Are you stoned?"

"NO!"

Katie's eyes had widened at the mention of Evra's name. Her eyes were so big they seemed to take up half her face. A huge grin spread across her face. She squealed with happiness and flung her arms around him in a tight hug, strangling him at the same time. Katie put her hands on Evra's scaled cheeks and squeezed and rubbed them together.

"Look how cute he is!" Katie squealed. She took her hands back and inspected them closely so they were only an inch from her face. Evra's skin was scaled, like a snake. Some dead scales had come off him and were on Katie's hands. She looked at them fascinated and pressed her hands against her own cheeks and rubbed them.

"What'd you find? What'd we hit?" Sam called.

Evra slyly, without Katie noticing (she was too busy with the scales on her hands and cheeks) put his hands on her butt.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Sam shouted. He grabbed Cronos by the front of the shirt and hurled him at Evra.

Cronos had his first and final flying lesson, which lasted 2.5 seconds landing on top of Evra then bouncing off.

"WE GOT A BOUNCER!" Tom yelled.

"Hello," Cronos groaned weakly to Evra who was staring at him in confusion, "I'm Cronos and I'm in a shit load of pain. I'm gonna go to sleep now."

THUNK! Cronos passed out before he could say another word.

"WHAT THE HELL'D YOU DO THAT FOR?!" Carolyn shrieked running to check her friends's pulse.

"Sorry…"

"Sam! What'd you do that for? Why'd you throw Cronos at him?" Katie screamed holding Evra against her chest protectively. "Why Sam? Why?"

"Did you see what he was doing to you?!"

"No. What?"

(Inside Evra's head) Wow these are nice. Very, very soft. Squishy. A nice butt AND nice knockers.

"SEE? SEE?! HE'S DOING IT AGAIN!" Sam shouted at her.

Katie let go of Evra and stood in front of Sam. "You jealous?"

Sam lowered his eyes shyly. "No."

"You want some love too?" Katie taunted.

Sam blushed furiously. "It's ok. I'm ok. Just watch yourself around him ok?"

(Inside Evra's head) Where'd my soft pillows go?!

"Why did you react to Evra's name like that anyways?" Tom asked.

"He's from that book series I love. That...uh…one...with the…uh…thing…in it…yeah that's it…"

"Cirque du Freak?" Carolyn asked since she was a fan also.

"YEAH! THAT'S THE ONE!"

"What's it about?" Sam asked.

"It's about this boy named Darren who gets turned into a half-vampire to save his best friend. It's basically about him getting through each day. It's really good! Almost as good as Harry Potter!"

"I WANT TO BE A VAMPIRE!" Katie squealed running around in circles flapping her arms like bat wings.

(Inside Evra's head) Must play dead…

Evra suddenly out of the blue fell over acting unconscious.

"Oh my gawd! I think he's got OWIES! Does anyone know ER!?

At that moment the cast of ER walked out onto the set.

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" Carolyn (who really dislikes that show) screamed.

The ER cast left without saying a word.

"Oops wrong one…Uh…Does anyone know PMS?"

Everyone's eyes shot open.

"Uh…I mean…that one with the mouth?"

(Inside Evra's head) Yes that one…

"CPR…?" Carolyn said sounding annoyed at Katie's stupidity.

"Yup. That's the one. I told you!" Katie said trying to take Carolyn's smartness.

"He doesn't need it." Cronos said kneeling by Evra. "Watch." Cronos curled his left hand into a fist and slammed it into Evra's stomach. The snake-boy sat up coughing and gasping for air.

"What the hell was that for?!" Evra screamed in fury.

"That's MY version of CPR." Cronos said grinning as he cracked his knuckles, "But if you're sill hurt do you want me to pummel you back to health?"

"NO!" Evra yelled, "I'M FINE!"

Katie pushed Cronos away and held Evra protectively against her chest again. "NO! Don't hurt him!"

(Inside Evra's head) There are my soft pillows. I missed you…

Carolyn's eyebrow rose suddenly. "If Evra's here…Then that means…that…Darren and the old bat should be near."

A man many years older but not elderly jumped up. He had a small patch of orange hair and a long scar down his left cheek. He wore a red cloak that trailed the ground. "I resent that!"

A younger boy about Katie and Carolyn's age stood up suppressing laughter. He had fine brown hair and wore pirate's clothes.

"Oh shut up Darren!" The man scolded.

Katie again let go of Evra and walked over to the two new comers. "Darren Shan?" The boy nodded. "Mr. Crepsley?" The man nodded. "Vampires." The man nodded.

"Half…" Darren nods.

"Cooool. Lemme see! Hands up!"

Both raised hands as if they had a gun to their chest.

Katie inspected their hands and founds 10 small scars on the tip of their fingers. "Cool."

Both of them still had their hands up.

Katie fans air in front of her. "PUT YOUR ARMS DOWN!" Both put arms down quickly.

Katie plugs her nose up and looks through purse, which was small, but you could fit a whole cow in there (somehow) if you wanted. She took out male deodorants and tossed them to the two vampires. "It's called DE-O-DO-RANT! Use it!"

(Inside Evra's head) My pillows. There gone again.

Evra passes out again (faking).

"Not again…" Carolyn groaned.

Katie kneeled down next to Evra and leans close. "Guess all I can do is mouth-to-mouth."

"Are you sure?" Sam said concerned with a slight temper.

Katie leans forward and starts giving Evra mouth to mouth.

Evra throws his arms around Katie's neck and pressed her against himself.

Katie pushed herself away. "Simmi down now."

Sam burst into a giant ball of flame.

"Dude! DID YOU POUR PROPANE ON YOURSELF AGAIN?!" Cronos yelled.

"No. Actually it was lighter fluid."

"Evra Von. You totally used your tongue there. If you want a kiss from a girl you don't go off playing dead!"

Sam tackled Evra and a huge fight erupted, with a lot of fire.