Chapter 5
Days 21-30
A/N: Sorry it took so long for me to update. this chapter was difficult for me to write and i've been very busy.

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Day 21

I am still numb with the thought that I m now a slave. I knew that this existed, that Men did this to one another and sometimes to other beings. But never elves.

On a more positive note, I am healing and so is Elrond. Elrond seems, in fact, to be completely well. Except, of course, for the mutilations that the Men forced upon him. The bruises on my face are gone now. Both of us can walk. I told Elrond of our situation. At first his reaction was the same as mine, outrage. But he is of a calmer temperament than I in dire situations. Soon he told me that this was better than being sold to the Dark One. I suppose that that is true, but I have no idea what we will have to do now.

Elrond joked earlier that he had better be expensive, as the Lord of Imladris. I smiled and managed a laugh, but both of us know that it is not funny. All I hope is that the two of us are not split up. I don't think that I could deal with that. Elrond needs someone to protect him, as much as he denies it. Frankly, I need someone to protect me, as well. We must stay together, or we will both die.

Even my hands are looking and feeling better. They are clearly infected still, but the pain is much less. Perhaps they are healing. Elrond took a stab at healing them earlier. I think it helped a little.

I want to know when we will reach our final destination. However, I am hesitant to ask one of the Men. They do not appear to want us to talk. I told Elrond this and he asked me if I was really in such a rush to get to work. I shook my head. All I want is time to prepare myself for whatever happens.

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Day 22

Today we have arrived. I do not know the name of this Man town. It looks medium-sized, but decrepit. We were taken from our caravan and led (in chains) to a massive barred cell, presumably where they hold all the slaves. There were Men and Dwarves there, but, as I had expected, we were the only Elves.

I hope we do not have to stay long here. The others here mock us and I can see the anger slowly rising on Elrond's face. None recognize him in his shabby clothes and with his violently altered appearance. I don't think that I would recognize him if I hadn't spent the past three weeks in hell with him.

Today might have been the longest day of my life. Elrond and I tried not to get separated in the massive seething swarm of captives. I suppose it was inevitable, though, that we got separated. For a while, I lost this small journal, too. Eventually, though, I found it. I was not so lucky in my hunt for Elrond.

I can't sleep tonight. I fear tomorrow. I fear more for Elrond. Though an accomplished warrior, scholar, and healer, he has never before been a slave. Not that I don't think that he can adapt, but I fear that he will not survive. Having an elf for a slave would (I should think) be a mighty thing.

I hope, too, that I will survive.

More than anything, though, I hope that Glorfindel will find us.

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Day 23

My hands shake as I write this. I can barely manage to put these words to paper…they make me so angry. Before this whole mess, I viewed slavery with a disinterested detachment. I knew that it existed and I did not approve of it, but I really had no first-hand experience. Now I know. I've been there. I will try to lay down a truthful account here.

We were woken at dawn. This alone didn't bother me; I have been waking up early since I was an Elfling. The Men took us out in groups of ten. That was when I saw Elrond again. I tried to get in the same group of ten as him, but didn't manage it. After the groups of ten left, I didn't see where they were taken. That was when I began pacing the cell, hoping beyond all hope that I would eventually be able to find Elrond.

When the cell was about halfway empty, and just as I had started being able to see the grimy floor, I was taken out. Part of me was grateful; perhaps I was going to where Elrond was. Another part of me was sickened; the treatment I had thus far undergone was worse than any being should have to endure. And a final part of me was terrified; I had no idea, really, what was going to happen to me.

The Men guarding us ordered us to strip. My clothes were barely more than rags at this point, and it seemed no great loss to me. They turned a hose on us, presumably to clear away some of the grime. The force of it knocked me over. I was hauled painfully back to my feet. Then the Men came round and dusted us with various powders. I can only assume that that was in order to make us appear more desirable.

Then heavy chains were placed around our ankles. In my not-yet fully-recovered state, it is hard for me to walk. I knew that I could not show this, though. We were led through a crowd of people, mostly Men, but I caught a glimpse of at least one Dwarf. The people were loud and jeering, especially when they saw me. I shall not write down all that they said, it makes me burn in anger just to think about it.

Eventually, we made our way to a clearing. Ten wooden posts were arranged in a semi-circle. To each post, one slave was chained. I was the first one from the left.. We were tied to the post at the ankles, wrist, and neck. I had no freedom of movement whatsoever. Then the crowd converged on us. I now realized that we had been tied up like this in public view so that all of the prospective buyers could see what they were buying before they bought it. Rough hands examined my muscles, checked my teeth (as though I were some horse), inspected my hands (I heard many muttered comments about them. I wanted to scream out that it was Men that made my hands like that, but I have better self-control than that).

I do not know how long this lasted. Eventually, though, the crowd receded, and one man, finely dressed, stepped forward. He unchained me first and dragged me in front of the crowd. I saw the faces, filled with hate, in front of me. These were not truly Men anymore, they were animals, savage beasts. Now I truly began to fear for my life. Some part of me knew that I was not going to survive this.

Then the Man began to speak. "This is the last elf for sale today. Though fit and strong, both of his hands are badly injured. Thusly, his price will begin low."

I was outraged. Now I was just a piece of property being haggled over, like one would do for fish or bread. I was just a thing, to these people. Even I am perceptive enough to know, however, that I could not say anything. When the starting bid was announced, I felt worthless; if my memory serves me correctly, the amount of money I was eventually purchased for was about the same cost as a pound or so of good fish. The rage was building up inside of me now. If I didn't find some release, I knew that this was only going to end badly.

And then I looked out in the crowd and saw Elrond. He caught my eye and I knew that he knew what was on my mind. He shook his head; he didn't want me to be killed. So I bit back my rage once again (and I know it can't be healthy to keep doing that), and let myself be unchained. My new owner (how I hate that term already) came up to the front to claim me. A new chain was attached to my wrists and was then handed to my master.

I suppose I should take a moment and describe him. He is quite tall and thin in build. Though his hair is a luxurious shade of brown that any would envy, it has already begun to thin on top, but he is not an old man. The clothes he dresses in are of a fine, tight weave. They look almost Elvish in design. He has a loud, rough voice and hard, hurtful hands. I still do not know his name, nor do I really care to.

I was led through the crowd once again, this time behind my master. It was only then that I realized that Elrond and I had been sold to the same Man. I immediately let out a silent prayer to the Valar for this good fortune. Surreptitiously, as I walked past Elrond, he laid a caring hand on my shoulder and let out a small burst of healing energy. It made me feel better instantly.

It appeared that the master was done with purchasing today. Besides Elrond and I, the Man had also bought three Men. The five of us were chained to each other and led through the streets until we reached the man's caravan. The five of us were shoved in the back of one of the wagons. A bored-looking Man was sitting in it already, presumably to make sure we did not escape.

Now we are riding along, I know not to where. Elrond and I have made ourselves comfortable and occasionally we talk quietly. The three Men look at us suspiciously and murmur among themselves. Though we have done nothing to wrong them, I believe we have already managed to make enemies of these Men.

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Day 24

Everything is much the same. We were let out to exercise at about noon. Elrond and I wandered around for a little. I am so glad that we are still together. I have always been able to depend on him to calm me in the past, and I am hoping that I still can. Now, more than ever, I will need a person like that in my life.

Elrond did not seem very talkative. In fact, he seemed remarkably subdued, more so than even I would expect from him. So I asked him. I am his friend, and I thought he would tell me.

Instead, he turned away and said, "It is nothing you need be concerned about, Erestor."

I was inclined to disagree. "We are in this together, Elrond. There is no way that we'll be able to survive without helping each other. That's what friendship is all about. So, what's wrong?"

He shook his head. "I will not tell you."

That worries me a little. Elrond has always kept his secrets, but I am privy to most of them. I cannot think what might have happened to him that he is this closed to me. I don't like this feeling of aloneness.

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Day 25

Today was the first day that I thought about Glorfindel in a while. When I woke up, I momentarily saw his face in front of mine and for a second I thought that this nightmare had ended and that my lover had finally come to rescue me. When I blinked, though, his image disappeared. Imagination is a fickle friend.

When I woke I noticed something else. Elrond was not here with us. I thought for a while that he had escaped, and my heart silently cheered for him. Shortly after that, though, he was brought back to our wagon. His mood seemed dejected and a part of me wanted to go over to him and offer what comfort I could, but I instinctively knew that I would be declined. So I decided to let Elrond have his misery. Sooner or later, I know he will turn to me and I will be here for him.

More of the same today. I wish that we would just get where we are going and be done with it. This endless travel drives me crazy.

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Day 26

Another utterly boring day. Once again, Elrond was missing from the wagon when I awoke and was returned quite early in the morning. I wish I knew where he was going. Still, though, I do not ask. I do not demand anything of him; after all, he is still my Lord.

A couple of good things are happening, though. My hands have finally lost some of their discoloration. I think that they are finally healing. It will be so good not to have that numbing, ever-present ache in my hands. It has been so long that I barely know what it is not to feel pain all the time.

One of the Men talked to me today. His name is Samul, and he has become a slave because he could no longer pay his taxes, for his farm had been destroyed in a recent war. He told me that he has a wife and two children that are now going to starve because he is not there for them. Then he asked me who me and my companion were. When I told him, his eyes widened. "What game is this?" he demanded. "Why would two elves such as that be slaves?"

I realized that this Man had heard of the two of us. It brought a smile to my face. "Sometimes bad things happen, Samul, and all you can do is adapt. Elrond and I adapted."

"I always thought that elves were invincible. My mother always told me that nothing could harm an elf."

I had to smile at that. "Though we are immortal, we can die. And we do die. Lord Elrond came very close to dying not all that long ago. He is still slightly ill."

"Why has your elvish kind not come to your rescue? I thought that you were a close community. Or is that just another tale told to Men?"

"No, truly we are all quite close. But elves do not go missing very often. Our friends will have trouble tracking us. I think that they will succeed. It is just a matter of how long it takes them to find us. Once they have found us, actually getting us out of here will be easy." At that point, Glorfindel once again appeared in my mind's eye. How I miss him!

"Will they free the Men, too?" Samul looked at me with pleading, hopeful eyes.

I did not dare tell him that it was more than likely that Glorfindel and the force that he brought with him would probably slaughter all the Men in the vicinity, whether they were free or slave. Glorfindel can be rash like that sometimes.

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Day 27

Another clue to the mystery of Elrond's disappearances. This morning, when he returned, he had a large bruise splashed right across his cheek. I demanded to know what had happened, and he shook his head, once again refusing to answer. Now I was tired of his noncompliance and I demanded an answer. The look on Elrond's face changed from anger to sadness. In a soft voice, he said, "Mellon, I cannot tell you what it is. I would like to, very much, but I cannot."

"I want to be able to help you, Elrond," I said.

The expression on his face was even sadder after that. "I know," he said sadly, then turned away from me. He would not speak to me for the rest of the day.

Damn him! Why must he be so stubborn? All I want to do is help and he does nothing but block me out!

I will get to the bottom of this mystery. I will figure out someway to help him. He is my best friend, but he is also my Lord. I must do everything I can for him. And I will. I swear it.

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WARNING: RAPE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Day 28

Now I know.

But how I wish that I did not.

I decided that the best way to find out where he went would be to stay up all night and see when he was taken. At the very least, I was sure that it was a good first step. So I did, and I was rewarded in the middle of the night when two Men came into the wagon and walked over to Elrond.

That was when one of them saw me, and saw that I was awake. He said something to the other man, and they immediately left Elrond. I was grateful for that, at least. If nothing else, I had spared Elrond a night of whatever it was that he had to endure. They then came to me and unchained me, then grabbed me roughly by the arm, dragging me out of the wagon. By the position of the moon, I judged it to be sometime just after midnight.

I was dragged across the cool ground. My feet were bare, though I had been given some clothes to wear. The ground was loosely packed dirt that instantly found its way between my toes. How strange it is that I remember an inane detail like that.

Anyway, I was taken into another wagon. Immediately, I saw my master there. I was unsure of how to act, being new at this slave business and all. One of the Men that had brought me here pushed me to my knees; I made no protest. The Man leaned forward and looked me. He was wearing only pants, thus I could see his muscular chest. It was covered with hair, something that briefly fascinated me.

"This is not the usual one," the Man said.

"No, but he was awake; the other was sleeping."

The Man nodded, then said, "Leave us." The other Men promptly did as he commanded. "What is your name, elf? And do not lie to me. Your friend Lord Elrond learned that the hard way."

"How dare you treat the Firstborn this way?" I demanded. I realized that such a thing was not appropriate for me to say, not with things the way they were.

"You should learn to hold your tongue, elf. Except when I command it. Now what is your name?"

"Erestor. I am Chief Advisor to Lord Elrond. And with all due respect, once the two of us are rescued by our kin, you will regret your actions."

"Elrond has made the same promise, Erestor." The man stood up and walked over to where I was kneeling. He crouched down in front of me and ran a thick finger down my cheek. I turned away from the touch; it repulsed me. "Elves are so fair," he murmured. His hand dropped to ease my clothes off. "Do you know what I want from you, Erestor?"

Now I was determined to act. "Do not do this," I warned him.

He hit me hard in the face. The last thing I really remember is my head hitting the wood. Oh, yes, I do remember other things, but only vaguely. With sickening clarity, I can remember every detail of the rape, the way he treated me as though I was no more than an object; how he pulled my clothes off, turned me over, and took me, hard. I did struggle a lit, but I settled down when I realized two things: that he wanted me to fight him and that it hurt a lot more when I fought. I do not know how long it lasted, but it must have been considerable. Especially as after he was finished, then his (I would guess) second in command came in and took his turn. Just thinking about them thrusting deep, hard, into me is enough to almost make me sick. I tried to keep a picture of Glorfindel in my mind as this was happening, but Glorfindel had never been as rough as these Men.

When this second Man had finished, and I was trembling on the ground, waiting for some other Man to rape me as well, the master called in the two original Men. He did indeed offer me to them, but they said they would wait until tomorrow. My clothes were then handed back to me and I quickly dressed myself. I could feel the dampness between my thighs and knew that I was bleeding.

I was returned to the other wagon before any of the others awoke. Elrond was sleeping soundly, curled up in a corner. I decided that I wouldn't tell him what I was suffering in his stead. For now I know that both of us share the same fate: we are destined to fade. I know not how long it will take, but I do know that I would like very much to see Glorfindel again.

Glorfindel, this is for you in case you ever read this. I love you, I always have, and I always will.

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Day 29

It happened again this morning. Or rather, last night. Whatever. The same two Men came and got me, instead of Elrond. For this, at least, I am grateful. Though Elrond has already endured this, I do not wish for him to suffer. I would much rather suffer in his place.

When I reached the master, he smiled lecherously at me, and I wanted nothing more than to kill him. The two Men left again and the master walked over to me. "You know, Erestor, that if you just cooperate, things will be much easier for you once we reach our destination."

"I hate Men," was my only reply.

The master walked over to me and pulled my clothes off roughly. "You are a beauty. Do you know that? Do you have a lover, back in Imladris?"

At this, I smiled. "Yes, I do, and he is a famed warrior among my people. He will kill you slowly for what you have done to me."

"Well," said the Man, "if I am to die anyway, I might as well enjoy myself a little first, no?" His hand reached back to cup my ass. I pulled away; I didn't want this at all. "You would do better not to fight."

I could see that he was hard already. I knew that I wasn't going to get away from this. "I won't let you do this," I said anyway, even though I knew that that meant nothing to this Man. As far as he was concerned, he believes that he owns me. As if any could own an Elf!

Both he and his second-in-command had a turn, and then the two Men that brought me here said that they would like a turn as well. The master allowed them to. If the master had at least kept me to himself, I would know that he felt some possessive attitude towards me. But he treats me like a whore…no, even worse than a whore, because a whore gets paid for their services.

When they were finished, I was taken back to the wagon. I was glad to see that Elrond was still sleeping, though Samul was awake. As I was thrown back in, wanting only to go to sleep and dwell in my misery, he came over to me. "Erestor?" he said.

I wanted to snap at him to go away, but I couldn't. "What is it?" I asked wearily.

"What are they doing to you, when they take you away at night?" he asked. I realized then that he had seen all of what had happened, probably ever since the master had decided that he wanted Elrond.

"You would do best not to ask, Samul," I said. I wanted to be nice to him, because he is the closest thing I have to a friend here, besides Elrond. "I do not wish to tell you."

"Do they…hurt you?"

"No," I said. The lie passed my lips easily. I am not a skilled diplomat for nothing, you see, and lying comes handy in all circumstances. "Do not trouble yourself with these matters, Samul."

That seemed to satisfy him, and I went to sleep. Elrond shook me awake sometime later. He seemed angry. "What is it?" I asked.

"You've been doing it in my place, haven't you?" he demanded.

For a moment, I was confused. Then I realized what he was asking, and said defensively, "I was only trying to protect you!"

"It was too late! Now both of us will fade! I was trying to help you," he said. Then he shook his head, closed his eyes tightly. "We will have to help each other. I know not how long we will last, but I will support you if you wish to continue taking my place."

"You are my Lord. I cannot allow harm to come to you, no matter the cost on my life." And it is true. I can only hope that Glorfindel understands why I had to do this.

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Day 30

Early this morning, we reached our final destination. Us slaves were quickly tasked to the job of unloading all the supplies. It was then made clear that Elrond and I were by far the strongest of the five of us. I caught the master staring at the two of us several times, but I do not know what it means. I hope that we will stay in this place for a while. That way, it will be easier for Glorfindel to find us. We have been moving around so much that I can hardly be surprised that he has not yet caught up to us.

After all the supplies were unloaded, we were branded. I do not wish to dwell on that matter. Then we were sent to the slave barracks. Elrond and I carefully took cots next to each other; it would be easy to get lost here. There were well over a hundred slaves here. Only Samul seemed to show any desire to be friendly with us. He took the cot next to mine.

I did much more work today, but it was tedious and I do not think that relating the details are important. I was hoping, come nightfall, that I would not be taken to see the master, based upon two reasons. The first was that he had not called for me this morning. The second was that he was at home, and I assumed he had a mate of some description here.

It turned out that I was wrong. The master did not even wait for the cover of darkness. The sun was barely setting when the two Men came in. Samul, the Valar bless him, tried to prevent them taking me and said that he would go in my place. The Men looked him over and said, "The master wants nothing to do with you."

I was returned in the middle of the night. I find writing down the details of each rape disturbing. And I do not want Glorfindel to ever know intimately what happened to me. So I will speak no more of these rapes, except to mention if and when they occur. I want Glorfindel, at least, to know how much he has to avenge me after I die.

Before, I wanted Glorfindel to come and rescue me, but now I know that that is really not going to make a difference. Elrond, on the other hand, does not appear to be fading at all, while I can tell that I am already feeling some of the symptoms; notably weakness. His inner light seems to be as strong as ever. Perhaps he will live on. I must hold on to that fact; I must live for him.