Faking It
Later that day, after realizing that he was the one who killed her, not the alcohol, he went to her house and tried to get some comfort. He pushed the large steel gates open and entered her property. He walked on the road and looked at the water fountain that was right in front of her home. He walked past it and noticed that the door was half open. He opened the door and entered the house and saw how her home looked just moments before she passed out. Five bottles of alcohol on the table, all empty. Wine glasses, shot glasses and drinking glasses all over the table. John sighed and walked upstairs to her room. He saw her bed was already made and he walked over to it. He kneeled down and broke down into tear.
"Oh, God, Steph I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I never meant to hurt you! I never wanted kill you!" John said as he cried.
"I never meant to ruin your life and kill you. I wish I could have prevented this but I couldn't… and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry Stephanie!" John cried hysterically.
He picked up her pillow to hug it and noticed something on the bed. It was a book. Curious, he picked it up and opened it. There were entries and immediately knew what it was: her diary. John opened to the last entry she wrote and read it out loud.
"It's been almost a month since John had raped me. For an entire month, I lived a life of fear. I get so scared on my way to work and when I walk through the hallways to find my office. I get so scared when the door knocks because I'm afraid it's John on the other side of the door. I get so scared of coming across him because he might intimidate me even without hurting me. He's changed my life in the worst way possible that I know I am no longer the same person. He's gotten me addicted to alcohol and now I can't stop because I turn to alcohol for comfort. I hate him. I hate John for doing this to me. I hate John for raping me. I hate John for everything. I hate him and I know that no matter how much I hate him, nothing will ever be the same. I will never look at him the same way again. I will never talk to him the same way again. I will never remember him the same way again. A friend that I trusted so much has hurt me so bad that even I don't know who to trust anymore. But even though I hate him with all my heart I do forgive him. In front of Randy I was faking it. Faking the tears and the cries for help because if he knew that I truly did forgive him he would never understand. Yes, John has hurt me and yes I do cry for him hurting me… but I eventually had to fake all my emotions to make John realize that there is something wrong with him. John has a problem that he can't control and I forgive him for what he's done to me. He will always be the guy who I could turn to when I needed someone… but for now… he's the man that I hate with all my heart and the man who I forgave."
John couldn't believe it. Stephanie had forgiven him for raping her and ruining her life. The woman he killed… and she forgave him. He couldn't believe how he was fooled by her. All along she was doing something to open John's eyes: faking it.