CHAPTER FIVE

Lindsey had enjoyed the arboretum. The scent of the rose arbor drove out the badness from his mind, letting him just drift away. For a while he thought of nothing but the bittersweet taste of enjoying a place alone when he had desperately wanted to bring Saeth to. For the most part, Lilah and the odd trio didn't enter his mind, though the Matillaja Poppies with their large white flowers and raised centers the size, shape and color of an egg yolk put him in mind of Sophie for some reason.

He wandered past the blue-purple salvia flowers that nestled at the past of the Snow-in-Summer Melaleuca trees whose crowns were covered with white blossoms. He sat for a while by the waterfall and contemplated treason. He wanted his life back and his luck. He didn't know what he was dealing with when it came to the trio but it was power, that much he knew. He had no doubt that his life would just get more ludicrous and miserable if he didn't give back the shield. Of course if he did that, he was a dead man. He might as well coat himself in blood and throw himself to Angel. At least the vampire was more inclined to mercy than the Senior Partners. If he couldn't come up with a better plan, if his life turned even crappier, he'd try to entice them to steal the damn shield and leave him alone.

Lindsey treated himself to real Italian food at a hole in the wall mom and pop place that he kept close to his heart. He felt like waddling home after stuffing himself on an antipasti of cozze all'aglio e prezzemolo. Those mussels in garlic wine sauce had slithered down his throat, barely sating him. Sex with Lilah seemed to have left him starving. The filetto di manzo al Barolo, tarfuto e lenticchie had gone a long way to stuffing him, his serving having been huge hunks of beef in red wine and truffles over a heaping pile of lentils. The nido di pasta sfoglia ai lamponi, delicate pastry nests stuffed with raspberries and zabaione put him in a sweet, sugary heaven as he made his way home.

All his wonderful Mediterranean meal turned to lead shot when he got to the door and Louis eyed him sourly. "Mr. McDonald, the condo administration is very upset that your guests are having a loud party with the people next door and that your dog was seen swimming in the pool and stealing tennis balls."

"What are you talking about? I have no dog. I have no guests and I wouldn't associate with the brain-dead scumbags next door if they promised me a featuring role in their next video."

"Your guests had keys to the front door and your condo." Louis gave him an arrogant sniff.

"I'll straighten this out. If I have to call the police, Louis, I will let you and the condo board know," Lindsey said, pushing past the door man who now looked worried.

"But they had keys."

"Copies, illegal. I don't blame you, Louis. You couldn't have known except for the fact I didn't mention I had guests staying over as I'm required by the condo rules to do," Lindsey replied coolly.

Louis looked crushed. "But you did give notification, sir."

"Of one guest but I canceled her out," Lindsey replied.

"It's right here, three guests." Louis showed him the ledger.

Lindsey smiled flatly. "They're good. I'll give them that."

Even though he had warning, the sight of his condo door standing open took him aback. The coffin was back in his place and Skin-Head was doing a line of coke off Dominique's belly as she lay inside. James and Sophie were standing against the railing of his balcony, watching with apparent disinterest.

"You all have about five minutes to get out of here before the cops get here. And no, I didn't call them but about half this condo did." Lindsey grabbed the sword he had had on the wall above his fireplace out of one of his neighbor's bimbo girlfriend's hands before she accidentally impaled herself.

"The cops won't bugger us." Skin-Head said, wiping a streamer of blood and white powder from his nose.

"Oh, you see, I think they will. Not to mention I'm a lawyer with one of the largest law firms in the country and I'm very capable of suing each and every one of you for breaking and entering, burglary, possession of a controlled substance and damages. I could take you all for everything you own and have your pay checks coming to me for the next twenty years so I'd reconsider that," Lindsey ranted.

He was surprised and mildly amused that the threat of a lawsuit had more power to clear a room than the threat of the police. They were practically trampling each other to get out the door. Dominique peered over the edge of the casket, seeming very amused. He wondered if she was adding to the panic. He went over and tapped her high cheekbone with the end of his sword. "Any reason I shouldn't just seal you up in here for good?"

She pushed the sword away unfazed. "Think you can take me, blue eyes?"

Dominique lunged at him, capturing him in strong arms. She pulled him on top of her in the coffin, her mouth finding his hungrily. He couldn't free himself. Her hands seemed to be everywhere, touching him all over. Finally she let go, shoving him out of the coffin. Both he and his sword thumped to the floor. Dominique swung out of the coffin, now in possession of six arms. That explained all the touching. Lindsey shuddered.

"Who are you?" Lindsey wiped at his mouth. "I'd say Kali but that's the wrong kind of Indian."

"Not even close," James said with a snicker as he came in off the balcony.

"Whatever. You three, get this coffin the hell out of here and we can talk." Lindsey got up, holding his sword

"Are you sure?" Dominique batted her eyes at him. "You and I can have some fun."

"No! I'll be having nightmares about the 'fun' you made me have last night." He eyed her sourly. "I don't need to add to it."

"I just released a little hidden passion," Dominique assured him as she and Sophie lifted the coffin and dragged it next door.

James went to the kitchen and raided the fridge while the women worked. He sucked the goo out of the last of Lindsey's Krispy Kreme's. Lindsey felt like impaling him. James seemed liked he was the only one Lindsey could take on physically and win.

"Hidden my ass. There's nothing but inner loathing for each other inside of us. Nice little joke," Lindsey said.

"You enjoyed yourself," Dominique said, coming back. Two of her hands were playing with her hair, two with her breasts and the remaining two reached for Lindsey.

He danced back, sword tip coming up. "Yeah, right. Okay, you tell me who you guys really are and you, Ms. Sophie, am I right in thinking you have enhanced senses? If so, could you please sniff around and see if those morons left any drugs. I want them out of here if they did. Do that for me and we'll talk about this medicine shield."

Sophie shrugged and started doing a search of the apartment.

"Thank you." Lindsey placed a call downstairs. "Louis, yes, please do call the police for me. The people next door broke into my apartment. Thank you."

"He won't be able to reach them, not on your behalf," Dominique said.

"Because you won't let it happen?" Lindsey asked and Dominique nodded. "Fine, so who the hell are you?"

"You've guessed half of it. Sophie's our lycanthrope," Dominique said as Sophie returned with a bag of weed clenched in a towel to keep her fingerprints off the baggy.

"Down the hall there's an incinerator shaft. Dump it," Lindsey said and Sophie handed the bag to him. Lindsey took the towel with a sigh and dumped the drugs himself.

"James is a wicasa wakan," Dominique said as he returned. "That's Lakota for holy man."

"I was the guardian of the shield," James said, looking irritated that he had failed.

"Guess you didn't do a good job," Lindsey replied, flopping on his couch. He indicated for them to sit if they wanted to.

"It wasn't my boy's fault," Dominique said giving James' back a pat. "You sent a pretty woman after the shield. James is heyoka, a contrary. They tend to get into trouble."

"So what are you?" Lindsey wanted a drink or twelve.

"He's the trickster," James said.

Lindsey's brow creased. "You're Rabbit?"

Dominique pouted, all of her hands stabbing inward in a strange akimbo. "At least you didn't say 'Coyote.' That show-off gets all the good press. Hell, you were even in his club last night."

"Coyote really owns that?" Lindsey figured nothing would surprise him now. "So you're not Rabbit?"

"Do I look like a rabbit?" Dominique's eyes crinkled in irritation. "I guess that you even know my Cherokee brother is surprising enough, more than most Wasichus would know." Dominique's hands waved over her body, a cloudy white light pouring out of them. When the magic cleared, Dominique was now a tall Lakota brave with a showy headdress and heavily beaded buckskins. The male incarnation made the kiss Lindsey had received even more disturbing.

"Wow, I'm really glad I said no to that dance," Lindsey said, and the warrior gave him a vicious look.

"Meet Iktomi. I'm sure you'll be as thrilled about him as the rest of us," Sophie said in a droll tone.

"How'd you get hooked up with him?" Lindsey asked, trying to place the name Iktomi but couldn't. "You look a little pale for this crew, no offense."

"I'm James' friend and he needed a favor. No one back in Riveroak wanted James to be alone with Iktomi so I got volunteered because if James doesn't come back none, of us want stuck with his son." Sophie shrugged. "Wambli is in his terrible two's."

"I've got enough brothers and sisters not to wish that on anyone." Lindsey bobbed his head in agreement. James looked offended by both of their assessments of toddlers. "So tell me about Iktomi here. I'm up on my Cherokee legends since, well half my friends growing up were Cherokee but I know nothing about the Lakota."

"That would explain some of the decor." Sophie gestured to a few of the Native America bits of artwork Lindsey had, gifts from friends from a far more innocent time.

"Iktomi's Grandfather Spider, anything stupid Rabbit did, Iktomi's probably done it and worse." James grinned and Iktomi got the dangerous look again at the insult. "Hey wasn't there a tale about Rabbit using you the winkte way, Iktomi?"

Lindsey wondered for a moment about James' sanity, seeing the look of fury in the Trickster God's eyes as the eight-limbed creature whirled on the holy man.

"Never bring that up!" Iktomi roared.

"Well, if I was diddled by Rabbit, I wouldn't want it to be known either." James' grin grew. Lindsey wondered why neither James nor Sophie seemed worried or afraid about Iktomi's threat. Being threatened by an Old God made Lindsey nervous. "But that's not to say Iktomi can't be down right dangerous if he's made you a special project and Lindsey, you are most definitely a special project."

"Lucky you," Sophie said, patting Lindsey's knee.

Lindsey tried to adjust his arm, which had begun to hurt more now than ever. Finally he pulled the limb off. "You mean like this?" He held up his stump, which was nearly two times its usual size and red.

"Yep."

Lindsey massaged the painful stump. "The shield, the spider web decoration, it's your shield isn't it?"

"It's the wahacaka Iktomi," James said. He nodded at Iktomi, who was still fuming about the Rabbit comments. "It's his."

Lindsey regarded James curiously. "So why are you the guardian?"

"You just got picked to be Iktomi's butt monkey until he gets his shield back." Sophie kicked her feet up on the love seat. "James gets that position for life, apparently."

"Lucky me. See, you get to have your life back as soon as we get Iktomi's shield. I get to have this kind of luck the rest of my days," James said, a sad expression on his dark face.

"Poor bastard. Problem is, I don't have the shield." Lindsey got up and went into the next room to get a tablet and pen. "It's not in my apartment. It's not mine to give, and if I were so dumb as to give it to you in return for the Trickster butting the hell out of my life, it would be such a short life as to not be worth the living." Lindsey started writing.

"Sounds like you have a huge problem." Sophie seemed extremely amused.

Lindsey handed her the note detailing where the item was and how best to rob him tomorrow morning when he went in to work. "I'll tell them I'm coming in to work early to make up for getting sanctioned after last night's indiscretion. By the way, Iktomi, you owe me ten thousand dollars."

"Good luck getting a bent dime out of him," James said. "Iktomi can't hold on to money any more than he can his sobriety."

"Shut up, son." Iktomi dropped four hands on James' head and shoulder and for his part, the holy man didn't seem disturbed or afraid.

"This should work." Sophie passed on the note to James and then Iktomi.

Lindsey took it from the spider god and went into the kitchen. He put the paper into the gas jet then dropped the flaming paper in the sink. "Sound like a plan?"

"Works for me," Iktomi said.

With that the trio left. Lindsey went to drop off, exhausted to the bone. He took two steps into his bedroom and smelled the stale sex. Groaning, he stripped the bed, remade it and still had no taste for lying down in it. He went back to his living room after grabbing a beer from the fridge, put in his favorite old movie, Porky's, and zoned out on his comfortable sofa.