I do not own Cowboy Bebop or the song On My Own.

On My Own

The beach was heaven on earth. There was a crisp breeze carrying the salty scent of the ocean to them. Though the night was cool, the sand was warm. The couple dancing in the silver moonlight was oblivious to anyone but each other.

"Faye, I'm so sorry I ever left. Sorry I ever hurt you. I love you." Spike pulled Faye's closer. He couldn't bear to be away from her.

Looking deep into Spikes mismatched eyes Faye saw all the love and devotion she had always wanted to see there. With tears in her eyes and a hand in his hair she pulled his head down for a long kiss, trying to transfer all her feelings for the fuzzy haired lunkhead through touch alone.

"Spike..." She snuggled deeper into his chest and breathed his scent deep. He smelled of Irish spring and cigarettes. The world didn't exist. Only Spike and Faye. Only this moment. Together they watched the sun rising in each other's eyes.

On my own

Pretending he's beside me

All alone I walk with him till morning

Without him

I feel his arms around me

And when I loose my way I close my eyes

And he has found me

"Faye! Breakfast! Or in your case, lunch." Jet was yelling from the kitchen where he was burning what food they had left and calling it edible. He was worried about Faye. She hardly showed herself anymore. It was as if she had given up on life after Spike's funeral.

"D-d-damn him! I c-can't b-believe he l-left!" Faye Valentine was now awake and sobbing uncontrollably.


"Just when I rememb-ber everyt-thing! I thought I could finally have a f-family again!" Faye curled her body into a fetal position on her bed holding her aching heart. She felt cold remembering how warm and complete she had felt in Spike's arms.

"He's gone. I know he's not coming back." She wiped some tears away with her sheets. Thinking of his eyes in her dream started the tears anew. Only in her dreams would he ever look at her like that. In real life Julia received his loving looks.

I should have made him stay...

Faye remembered his funeral. It had rained creating a sliver coated faerie realm. A black clad Faye gently laid a bouquet of red roses on the casket. She couldn't bear to stay longer. Through the veil over her eyes and her blinding tears she managed to make it to the Bebop. Arriving soaking wet she had locked herself in her room and hadn't left since. That was 3 days ago.

In the rain the pavement shines like silver

All the lights are misty in the river

In the darkness the trees are full of starlight

And all I see is him and me for ever and forever

Faye thought back to one night when she and Spike had gotten completely drunk. They got along much better when they were both intoxicated. Spike had tripped and landed face down in her lap.

"Shorry Faye. I think I's deally runk!" Giggling like a little girl, Spike snuggled into her lap and promptly began to snore.

"Shpike! Ger off shou big jerk!" Giving him a push Faye and Spike both ended up on the floor tangled in each other's arms.

"No move. Shleep here. Shtay" Spike pulled her into his arms and was promptly passed out. Feeling his warmth surround her, Faye was content for the first time in ages. Maybe there was hope for her and Spike yet.

"Shoolia..." Spike nuzzled Faye's neck and returned to sleep.

Her world shattered like a precious crystal. Damn him! Even in a drunken stupor he thinks about her! Faye began to cry, wrapped in Spike's arms on the cold metal floor of the Bebop. I'm done being proud. If this is all I'll ever get from him, I'll take it. I'll take this one bittersweet sliver of heaven allotted to me.

And I know it's only in my mind

That I'm talking to myself and not to him

And, although I know that he is blind

Still I say there's a way for us!

Life had lost all its zest for Faye Valentine. Gambling shopping, catching a bounty - none of it interested her. Every day and every minute, her soul yearned to have Spike back. To not have relayed Julia's message to him. To have actually shot him instead of letting him leave for his showdown with Vicious. Her mind's eye showed different memories of Spike. Smirking, bored, sleeping, drunk and hung over, narrow eyed in hatred to Vicious. She treasured them all. They were Spike at his finest.

I love him

But when the night is over

He is gone; a river's just a river

Without him the world around me changes

The trees are bare, and everywhere the streets are full of strangers

"I never told him how I really feel." Faye began to sob once more. I loved him. I know he never loved me. I know he never needed me. He was my other half! But I loved him.

I love him

But everyday I'm learning

All my life I've only been pretending

Without me his world will go on turning

The world is full of happiness that I have never known

Faye's head came up. There was a renewed glint of determination in her emerald eyes. "He may be dead, but I'm not. I'll survive. I'll cry and grieve. I'll never be over him, but I will not throw away my life just because he had to pull a STUPID kamikaze stunt." She walked to the mirror and looked at herself. Applying some makeup and combing her hair Faye prepared to face this new, cold, lonely gray world she had been thrust into. With a final sniff she walked to the hanger. "Goodbye Jet. I'm on my own now."

I love him, I love him, I love him...But only on my own.

The Redtail's thrusters blasted into the night as Faye Valentine left to make a new life. On her own.

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I was listening to Les Mis when this song came on. I immediately thought of Faye and Spike. I think it worked out pretty well! lol I think Faye may seem OOC here, but I was trying to capture how she would feel in private towards Spike for walking out on her to kill Vicious for killing Julia. Wow, its a *vicious* cycle! lol

Please review this! I love reviews...I just never get any! lol :( Let me know if I should keep writing.