Keep Me Breathing

Chapter One

It was 5.00 am and something was wrong. She lay on her back staring at the ceiling trying to figure out what it was and then it hit her like a tonne of bricks. The baby wasn't crying, why wasn't he crying? Every morning since the day he'd been brought home (which granted was only ten days ago) he woke up at 5.00 to be fed, why was today different? Riley Helms was already vaulting out of bed forgetting she wasn't wearing pyjama bottoms and that her top was undone, she was sure something had to be wrong with the baby. Of course there wasn't, he was awake and being fed by Shane who was pacing the nursery with him.

"What was all the noise?" he asked.

Remembering her un toned stomach and stretch marks where all on display, Riley began covering herself up as much as she could.

"I couldn't hear him crying and I panicked."

"He's fine, I got up early to feed him and give you a break."

"You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"So I should help from now on?"

"I didn't say that...just...forget it."

Shane smiled. "Go back to bed, he'll be asleep in a minute and I'll be back in."

"I can't, I'm awake now."

"Go on, I'm here so you can take it easy."

"Yeah right, I've heard enough from Yvette and Sydney to know that I can't take it easy for the next eighteen years, twenty one if I get really attached to him."

She sat down on the armchair in the corner and tried in vain to button up her top. Shane had finished Noah and was now talking to him in a low voice so Riley couldn't hear. It had been at 1.00 am on Tuesday morning when Shane called, luckily Riley was still awake because so was Noah. He'd asked her about her day, how Noah was, simple things. Things that a friend would do, friends like Alice who despite everything she had said had sent Riley flowers when she heard the news. She wasn't to know that Shane had turned down the opportunity to go out with the boys from the locker room just to spend 15 minutes on the phone with her. In fact there was a lot Riley didn't know about Shane and vice versa. They where both completely oblivious to the fact they where in love with each other, and why shouldn't they be? It was a marriage of convenience, they had gotten married because Riley was poor and pregnant and it had been Shane's fault. Not that it had turned out so badly in the end; she had Noah who was wide awake and looking at her over Shane's shoulder.

"What's the plan for today?" Shane asked.

"Lots of washing and cleaning and feeding."

"Sounds fun, can we take him out?"

"He's not a dog Shane."

"I know, but Matt and Amy haven't seen him yet and I want to show him off."

"My friends haven't seen him either." Riley pointed out, climbing off the chair.

"That's different; all your friends live in New York."

Riley took Noah, who kicked his legs and spit up on himself.

"Fine, we can take him out, later. It's still dark."

"Right, I'm going to take a shower."

She nodded and took Noah back to her bedroom where she sat on the bed with him and listened to the shower run. This wasn't how she imagined her life would turn out, but look at where she would be if this had never happened, back in New York with no electricity, no heating and living no noodles and orange juice. Sure she had Alice, but now she had Noah and Shane. Well not Shane really, he may have been her husband but that didn't mean anything, he was basically a walking ATM machine and they both knew it. It didn't mean Riley wanted it to stay that way but she learnt a long time ago you didn't always get everything you wanted.

When Shane walked into the bedroom twenty minutes later the baby was asleep in the middle and Riley was in the middle of changing, when she saw him she screamed and tried to hide.

"Please Riley; I got you pregnant I've seen it all."

"That was different, I was thin then."

"You're not so bad for someone who's just had a baby."

"I have stretch marks!"

She sat down on the bed and attempted to pull up her jeans whilst showing as little flesh as possible. Shane shook his head, she was certifiable sometimes, and he supposed she got that off Alice. It didn't stop him thinking she was amazing though, and he had thought that long before Noah was born, not that he'd ever tell her. Riley would probably run off to New York with Noah and he liked having them there, both of them.

"What are you smirking at?" she demanded pulling on a T-Shirt

"I wasn't smirking."

"Whatever, there was definite smirkage."

"Is that even a word?"

"It is now."

She flashed him a quick smile and took Noah off the bed. Shane carried on getting dressed.