Disclaimer: I own nothing, so shove off!
"Italics" - mind speak
Chapter 1: A Question of Trust
"Harry, you do know a simple Ennervate Charm would work just as well as that bucket of ice cold water in waking Mr. Weasley and Ms. Granger up, right?"
"Of course Albus. However, someone has to administer the preventive serum, and an Ennervate wouldn't be as fun."
"Well...it's just that...I mean..." Harry couldn't really be sure, but he figured that if Dumbledore had a face then it would be a stunningly beautiful magenta color. "...I think..."
"What is it professor?"
"I have seen enough of Miss Granger tonight to last me a lifetime. I just couldn't bare to see her in another compromising situation."
At this, Harry took a good look at what he had dressed Hermione in. He really wasn't paying that much attention at the time he had picked out her clothing. He was rushed because he wanted to investigate the rest of the house which, he came to find, was incredibly humble for two of the three most famous people in the wizarding world; two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a quaint living room, a charming dinning room, and a collection of books that slithered in and out of all the other available space within the household. But now Harry realized that he had put her in a rather inappropriate top for what he was about to do. The look was very Hermione; a plaid, knee-length skirt and a tight, white shirt. However, once water was added to the equation, it would probably look more like something Parvati would wear in front of him.
"Well...I'd always wondered how she'd do in a wet T-shirt contest." And with that thought, Harry dumped the bucket over their heads and sat back to judge. "I'd give her a ten, but I guess I'm biased." Harry was torn from his appraisal of Hermione by Ron's sputtering and cursing.
"Goddamnit Harry, why in the hell did you dump that ice cold-fucking-bucket of water on my head?!"
"Because Ronald, that is how the son of a prankster operates. I also wanted to see your fiancé in wet clothing."
"Um...Harry?"
"Yes, Hermione?"
"Do you think you could muster the decency to cast a warming spell?!"
"Why Hermione," Harry muttered in mock indignation. "If I didn't know any better I'd say you were a tad bit uncomfortable. How come? It's not like I don't know you in rather...intimate detail." This last bit Harry said with a charming wink and a disarming smile, but Hermione paled considerably and Ron started to shake in barely controlled rage. Harry glanced back and forth between the two of them several times with a confused look on his face. And then it dawned on him. "You never told him," he asked Hermione. She just nodded her head in affirmation. "And Ron, you just assumed that we never..." (He motioned with his hands between Hermione and himself) Ron's lack of answer was answer enough, and Harry couldn't believe it. Through his laughter he managed to choke out: "you thought...never...in ten months...daft git...we had sex so many...lost count...now that's rich!
I am a little confused though. How is it that you thought she was a virgin when it would have been physically impossible to...'take her maidenhood' that first time."
Not only was Ron very angry, but now he was very confused as well.
"I can answer that for Ron, Harry. Wizards don't learn the same things about sex that muggles do. I was Ron's first and only. He has never made love to a virgin."
"Well I guess that explains my first time with Luna." At Hermione and Ron's shocked expressions, Harry let loose a bark of laughter.
By now Ron was so angry with Harry that any fear of reprisal was forgotten. "Find my ignorance funny do you Potter?! You're just upset because your 'Boy-Who-Lived' charm didn't work on Hermione. You're just pissed because you didn't get the girl this time. Gonna steal her, like you did Luna, now are you?!"
"Oh yeah Ron, that's it. After seven years, I'm here risking my own capture to steal her away from you..." Ron picked up on the sarcasm and was enraged. "...Might I also remind you that I am the only one here who isn't accustomed to stealing another person's significant other. Out of the four of us I'm the only one."
Ron and Hermione had the decency to look ashamed but confused at the same time; there were only three of them, weren't there? "Harry, what do you..."
"Never mind! I would like to address Ron's accusations first. You say I always get the girl correct?" At Ron's nod, he continued. "Well, why do you think that is?"
"Because your 'Saint Potter'...the 'Boy-Who-Lived'!"
"Well you're wrong and right in making that statement." Harry conjured a chair for himself and took a seat. "When I came here tonight I never thought I'd be explaining this, but it will be a pleasant distraction before I really get started."
"Harry, what are you..."
"Hermione please stop interrupting. I'll never finish if I don't get started. Besides, you'll probably enjoy this. My theory is very muggle and scientific in nature." Once again Harry used his beatific stare and charming smile to stifle any further argument. It worked.
"It's not fair that you can do that."
(Harry chuckles warmly) "I know, but you still love me for it." Hermione slightly cringed at the comment and Harry laughed again. "Maybe not. Well anyway, as you both know I apprenticed under Albus for three years after we graduated. During that time I did many things. One of which being intensive research on Voldemort himself, and the other was discovering my latent Veela capabilities. As it seems, I had a great grandmother that was a full-fledged Veela and one of my great grandfathers had traces of it in his system as well. Because I am a male it took a little longer for it to manifest and I wasn't showing any signs until my eighteenth birthday. But to understand why this is important, I have to explain my attempts to decipher the enigma that is Voldemort. To accomplish this task I studied human psychology and, as a curious footnote, the biology behind some of his Animagus forms as well. It was here that I discovered the term for a specific type of male known as the Alpha.
In the Animal Kingdom, the most physically dominant males are always the most attractive to the females. This, of course, is inherently important to Darwin's theory, survival of the fittest, perpetuation of the species, etc., etc. However, in humans, and more specifically wizards, it is slightly different.
The complexity of our minds keeps physicality from being the sole reason for attraction. If this weren't the case, then men like Voldemort, Crabbe, Goyle, and Snape would have plenty of women to choose from. But in reality, if my intelligence is correct, then I don't think a one of them has ever had a significant other...ever. So I used those four as justifications to expand my theory.
I won't bore you with the expansive explanations that are required to describe my experimentation. I will, however, tell you that I was able to discover three factors that one must posses in create quantity to be considered an Alpha Male. They are physicality, magical capability, and personality. Personality is an all-encompassing category that includes things like intelligence, genetics, disposition, etc.
For my age, height, and build I am at my physical peak. I am one of, if not the strongest wizard in the world. My personality, which includes my intelligence, Veela attributes, and 'saving people thing' are all very attractive to the opposite sex. I would consider myself an Alpha Male."
Ron started to mumble incoherently. It sounded like something along the lines of 'arrogant, pig-headed git.'
"Ron, before you get all hot and bothered and consider me arrogant, I'll have you know this: it isn't arrogance if it's fact. You can consider yourself one as well unless you and I are in the same room. In those situations I steal all your limelight. However, when you are in a place without me, which, I will remind you, is the state that you have been in for the last seven years, you are the number one guy. This has been, and will always be your greatest weakness; you have never given yourself enough credit and you always blame me for that.
As you might have guessed, Hermione, there are a number of holes in my theory. If the human mind is strong enough to separate itself form the Animal Kingdom in terms of male and female interaction, then of course it's capable enough to shatter the confines of my hypothesis. I thought that too, until I hunted down Bellatrix Lestrange.
You see, for obvious reasons, I have an incredible hatred for her. And, for obvious reasons, she has an incredible hatred for me. If anyone was going to disprove my findings it would've been her, but I was pleasantly surprised to find out that I had misjudged Mrs. Lestrange. Now before you even ask, I was able to seduce her, and yes...I slept with her. However, I killed her afterwards as per my mission. And, so you don't think of me as a total asshole, I was so sick with myself afterwards I almost committed suicide...I am sorry Sirius.
I still had doubts though about my experiment. Bellatrix and I hated each other, but she was evil and, from what my intelligence tells me, a sex-aholic as well. She could've just been looking for a good shag and I just fit the bill, or she could've been doing the same thing I was; she could've been just trying to lower my defenses enough for a kill.
No, to make my experiment a success I need someone who hated me but didn't want to kill me. Possibly even someone who I used to be friends with." At this, Harry stared intently at Hermione. "You and I have loved deeply, been intimate with one another, and you are disgusted by the things that I have done and what I have become. However...(Harry lifts his eyelids, which had been downcast throughout the entire rant, rather smugly)...your body is screaming for me right now." Hermione started to protest, but Harry left his chair and silenced her with a look. He started to circle the both of them very slowly before he spoke again. "I have no doubt that you love Ron completely, and I also know for a fact that you can't stand me. Your complex brain and body language are working to paint a very clear picture. Your posture is rigid and defensive. Well, as defensive as you can be when tied up. The glare that you are wearing right now is quite impressive. Plus that snobbish, down-the-nose look is a nice indicator as well. However, the sexual functions of your body, the ones controlled by your baser instincts, are sending very different signals. For one, your heart rate has increased from seventy to one hundred beats per minute. Also, your body temperature has jumped from ninety-eight to ninety-nine degrees. Your pheromone count has nearly tripled. And..." At this, Harry leaned dangerously close so that only Hermione could hear his next words. "...I can smell how aroused you are." Harry backed away again and continued with his narrative.
"Now even though I didn't come here to prove my theory, I would like to thank you for helping me. I would also like to thank you Ron, for demonstrating the reaction I get out of most of the men I meet. Hermione, take a good look at Ron while I describe what his body is going through right now. His face is flustered because he is angry. In fact, most of the changes that have appeared on his vestige in the last hour are due to his anger towards me. His increased heart rate and body temperature have been triggered by his hatred of me. And he also is releasing hormones into the air, but that is defensive in nature to try and combat what I am doing to you. I can also tell that he is thinking about ways to kill me...legilimens. So far he has discovered 102, make that 103, ways to end my life with the rope that he is tied up in.
I have always found it very interesting to study the way people react to me ever since I learned to combine my Veela powers and mage senses. One time in particular is memorable. It was at one of the last Weasley family dinners." At this, Harry ended his impromptu-speech and leveled the couple with an almost predatory glare.
"You two remember those right? The ones you were...'oh just too busy'...to attend because of your careers; the ones we won't ever be having again due to the death of Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. I'll have you know that the funeral you two refused to show up at was lovely. How could you do that to them Ron? I had expected it when Percy turned his back on your mother and father, but I never thought you would stoop to the same level." Harry stopped to consider something for a moment.
"Hell, maybe I should have seen it coming. I mean you were always so annoyingly jealous of me at Hogwarts. You wanted my money, my fame, and my power, but didn't you realize that I was the one who was jealous of you. Ron, you had a loving family and I would have traded everything for just that. (Harry laughs inwardly for a moment) As it turns out, I didn't have to. For a time, I think I was considered apart of the Weasley family. It was the greatest feeling in the world. And you, you little prick, gave it all up for some fucking job! I don't think I can ever forgive you for that!"
Up until this point Harry had been very controlled. But the memory of how Ron took his family for granted, in the hopes of extending his career, made the bile in his stomach rise. For a while Harry looked very dangerous, and for the moment Ron was too frightened to look ashamed. This led Harry to take a deep breath, a short break, and attempt to continue
"Well, anyway, one night Bill brought Fleur and Gabrielle with him. Now three quasi-Veelas in the same area is very dangerous for a room full of witches and wizards. However, it is even more dangerous for the Veelas themselves. I was able to control myself, as were they. Until, of course, Bill got called back to Gringotts on emergency and the twins decided to spike the punch. I would've normally been able to pick up on the firewhisky a mile away, but my senses were going crazy already. After a few drinks...well...I don't want to be too explicit, so I'll just say this: If not for a few well placed stunners by Albus and the rest of the Weasley clan, then I would have been a statutory rapist and Bill would have been none too pleased with his wife."
Throughout his entire dialogue, the couple had been uncharacteristically quiet. Harry was very surprised that he hadn't been inundated with questions from Hermione. It looked as if the both of them had been shocked into silence. In fact, the only difference that was detectable was their changes in body language at various parts of the exposition. It was time to get on with it.
"I know that neither one of you trust me, so what I am going to do is give you your wands and free you." With a surreptitious wave of his hand they were untied, on their feet, and with their wands at the ready. They didn't miss a beat.
"Stupefy!"
"Accio weapons!"
Instead of spells erupting from the tips of their foci, a pair of rubber chickens flopped to the floor.
"It's good to see that Moody's training came in handy somewhere. Ron, do try to remember that I do wandless magic so, therefore, I have no foci to summon. Now, how about we try this again? I'll give you your real wands, but this time...don't hex me." From the tone of Harry's voice it sounded if he was telling Ron and Hermione this for his own good just as much as theirs. With another wave of his hand, they had their real wands, and once again they didn't miss a beat.
"Stupefy!!"
Harry watched as the spells approached at a sluggish pace and muttered a few quick incantations. His words negated Ron and Hermione's actions, stripped them of their wands, and bound them back into their chairs.
"Why can't you two just hear me out?"
"You murdered Albus Dumbledore, that's why!"
"Once again Ron, you are both wrong and right with the things that you say."
"Bullshit! You killed him in cold blood you fucking murderer!"
"Silence! You know absolutely nothing of his death. I loved that man like a grandfather, and I never would of done anything to intentionally hurt him. Yes, I did kill him, however, it was without malice, and therefore not murder. If anything, it was suicide. His own stupid actions brought about his death, and I have already grieved enough over that you insufferable bastard!"
"Harry, you need to calm down...let me speak with them."
"I am sorry grandfather, it's just that Ron went too far that time."
"That is quite all right Harry, and I say again that you should let me speak with them."
"If you wish?"
"If you two don't believe me, then maybe you'll believe him." With that said, Harry calmed down and concentrated. Within moments his eyes were no longer the startling green that they once were. Now they were a twinkling blue that only one man could posses. And when he spoke it wasn't Harry's voice, but the voice that went with the eyes.
"Hello my children." At this, both Hermione and Ron fainted again. Harry was now Albus Dumbledore.
A/N: Before you get all excited, Albus is not Harry's real grandfather. It's just a term of endearment that Harry has reserved for Dumbledore. Having to share the same head with someone for seven years can bring people together.