His Slayer
Disclaimer: Joss owns Btvs
A/N: Once again I want to thank everyone who's reviewed this story. It's been a treat to read your wonderful thoughts. Now I've found the perfect anthem for this story. I finally went out and bought AUDIOSLAVE'S CD and there's a song on it. Track number 7 called Shadow of the Sun. I think it fits this story. Just thought I'd share. Anyway has anyone seen Tarzan on the WB? It's surprisingly good. I mean besides the eye candy, it's a good show. Well that's about it. Hope everyone's doing ok. Enjoy. Skyz.
~*~
Chapter Eighteen:
A war of conflicting emotions struggled to settle and bog Spike down. New and dangerous emotions. He wasn't sure if what he was feeling was half of what Buffy was feeling. He wouldn't dare to compare his feelings to hers. At least not at the moment.
So he kept his mouth shut and his emotions to himself. He didn't have much to say as it was. His thoughts were a jumble of violent pictures of ripping Maggie Walsh apart piece by piece. Though it gave him a bit of pleasure to think it, it couldn't take away the gnawing hole this night had caused to form in the pit of his stomach.
It hadn't occurred to him, as he'd stalked Riley that Maggie was in the process of killing Buffy's mother. Stealing his son and making her getaway as free as a bird. If it had… He would have left that bloody fool for the werewolf he'd sensed had been stalking Riley. Instead he'd taken a bit of his revenge and Joyce had died.
His jaw clenched as he thought of finding Buffy down on her knees staring in horrified fascination at her dead mother's body. It wasn't just the sight that had caught him off guard, but the thought that he could have saved Joyce. It ate at him. He could have easily followed Joyce's scent, found her with Maggie and taken care of Maggie and Joyce would still be alive.
He knew it wasn't rational thinking obviously. Because there was no way he would have been able to save Joyce. For one he didn't even know his way around town. The wind was blowing scents this way and that. And if he had gone only God knew what Maggie would have done to Tate.
Even if it was irrational it still bothered him that he hadn't been there to help save his son.
Angel had insisted on calling the police and Spike hadn't complained, his only thought was to get Buffy to a place where she could rest. She'd exhausted herself screaming and sobbing. She was limp in his arms as he lifted her up. Angel had told him to wait there while he went off and got help.
Screw that.
He stood a moment gathering his thoughts and sense of direction. He closed his eyes a moment, concentrating, past the blood that smeared the streets, past the smell of decaying leaves, sewage, and focused in on the one smell he'd never forget.
He followed Buffy's scent and soon found himself at her house.
He paused in the middle of the street, tense as his eyes studied the house, flickered to the ones surrounding it, and finally settled on Buffy's slackened face. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was raspy. He knew her throat must be aching, the way she'd screamed, had scared him beyond words. Now as he inhaled he knew there would be another blow for them both tonight.
His arms tightened around her for a moment, he wondered how much more this fragile girl could take. She felt so small, so breakable in his arms. If he had a heart it would gladly be hers. He loved this girl, beyond thought, beyond reason.
He watched as her eyelids fluttered and her hand curled around a fistful of his shirt.
"You're home," was all he said and watched as her eyes snapped open and she made to leave his arms. They tightened around her even more, and he watched her eyes try to focus, knew she couldn't see what he was seeing.
Was briefly glad for it.
He dropped a kiss onto her forehead before he strode up the walk and to the porch.
It was there he put her down, onto her own feet and watched as she swayed, he reached out and caught her arm. Watched as she realized her front door was open…
No not open.
It had been shattered from its hinges.
She stiffened took in a deep breath and squared her shoulders. She took a step forward and Spike followed.
She reached back and flattened a hand against his chest.
"Be careful," she whispered.
He wanted to tell her not to worry about him. That she was the one who had to be careful now, that things would be okay, but he didn't. Knowing if he did, the words would only be lies. Nothing would be okay. Not for awhile now. He was damn sure of that. He followed Buffy into her house and winced when she turned on the lights.
They were met by destruction.
Spike couldn't take his eyes off it. In the foyer, right in the middle of it, stood a huge steeple cross.
He took a step forward towards it.
Buffy stared at the cross for a moment before she turned her attention to the livingroom. Glancing into it she saw another cross, mixed amongst what had once been her livingroom. Now it was a mess of furniture, of broken windows, debris was everywhere.
She took a step into the livingroom.
Spike kept his steps slow as he made his way to the cross. Transfixed, he lifted a hand to touch it, to feel it.
To feel the slow burn that would turn his flesh to ash, the pain would be nothing new. He could feel it now, the burning sensations that zinged through his hand up into his arm, and into the rest of his body.
It was only when Buffy's small hand closed forcefully around his own, that he realized he wasn't touching the cross, that his hand hovered mere inches from it. That he'd been remembering the sensations of past experiments Maggie had liked to inflict on him.
He blinked as he met Buffy's red rimmed eyes.
She stared at him with a small frown on her face.
He felt disconcerted, unfocused, and he knew he had to be the strong one here, for Buffy. She needed him and didn't need him going off into his own world.
Buffy tugged on his hand until he had moved away from the cross. She pulled him to her side and kept his hand firmly in hers as she took him through the house, avoiding the crosses placed throughout.
He could see how upsetting it was for Buffy, but could do nothing for her. What could he do? Maggie had done this for show, he was sure. I can kill your mother; I can destroy everything and everyone you love. And there was nothing Buffy could do to stop her, nothing Buffy's vampires' could do.
Maggie had nearly destroyed him.
And he was afraid she was halfway through destroying Buffy.
Ensuring his destruction along with hers.
~*~
It had always been a silent thought in the back of her mind. That something, someone, would come after her mother. Once she had thought it would be Spike. In fact she'd been so sure she'd been scared half out of her mind when she'd found him in her kitchen with her mother all those months ago.
She'd never revoked his invitation. Angel had suggested, as had Giles that she do so, but her mother had said Spike had been harmless. He'd been moaning over a cup of hot chocolate, about Drusilla leaving him.
Harmless.
A vampire without a soul, one of the worst recorded in history, and her mother had scoffed and called him harmless. Tears threatened to fall as she turned from the livingroom. Her eyes landed on Spike and they widened, before they narrowed, as she moved forward. She grabbed his hand and squeezed.
She couldn't tell what he was thinking as he turned wide blue eyes to her own. He stared at her a moment and for a split second Buffy had the flash of smirky, evil Spike. The Spike who'd threatened to kill her on Saturday. As soon as the image came it faded and all that was left was her Spike.
This new Spike.
She frowned as she pulled at his hand.
She kept her hand on his as she began the task of checking each room of her house. She'd never thought she'd see the day her house looked like a natural disaster site. Like a tornado had come through, and swept everything that mattered to her to the ground and destroyed it. Everything, anything it seemed they could get their hands on had been broken.
Pictures had been broken from their frames, torn into pieces, and Buffy wondered if Maggie had done this herself. She had the feeling she had. To show her who was boss.
To show Buffy she had control over her now.
It didn't take long for them to wander their way through the entire house.
Nothing was left.
Nothing.
She wanted to sag and drop to her knees and sob. She wanted to scream and scream. But she'd already done that, and she wasn't going to give Maggie the satisfaction of doing it again.
Her mother was dead.
Her house was a complete loss.
Her life was in shambles and yet…
The grief that had threatened to consume her was slowly giving away to anger and anger gave away to rage. It was one thing to mess with her; after all she was the Slayer. Trouble came with the name and the job made her enemy number one.
But to take it further. To take it to her family, to actually kill her mother…
Buffy felt her breath begin to quicken as she felt her anger rising and abruptly she let go of Spike's hand and hurried down the stairs. She stalked to the kitchen and began to go through the mess on the floor.
She was frantic in her search.
She felt Spike at the doorway staring at her, wondering what she was doing.
She felt crazy as she tossed things aside and muttered to herself. She felt gripped by an unseen force that wouldn't let her go, not until she finished this.
Maggie thought she'd won. Taken everything away from her. That stupid bitch, Buffy thought savagely. She didn't even know she'd just declared war and there was no way Maggie would survive.
She was going to enjoy killing Maggie Walsh, she thought with a savage baring of her teeth. She gave a grunt of triumph when she found what she wanted.
She went through the house again, Spike at her heels.
She took his hand once again as she led them both out onto the porch. With a flick of her wrist she let the match she'd lit fly. She couldn't help the grin that flashed as it landed in the foyer and flames erupted.
She stared as the heat of it hit her and she stumbled back.
Spike caught her.
Hefted her up and over his shoulder.
"Put me down," she gritted out as she struggled.
Spike ignored her and she growled low down in her throat, she began to struggle in earnest now. She bit, she hit, she cried. She watched her house burn and abruptly she went limp.
She could feel it…as the fire spread throughout the house, destroying what Maggie had created. Eating away at everything she held dear.
Oh God.
Oh God.
Oh God.
"Put me down," she rasped out.
Spike kept on walking.
Buffy's hands began to shake and her lips quivered as she closed her eyes to ward off the pain that was surging throughout her body.
"Please," she whispered.
She didn't notice when he put her down onto her feet, didn't notice as he cupped her face in his hands. Stared into her eyes and saw death.
"I'll kill her for you," he told her peering at her, trying to see if he was getting through to her.
"She's already dead. She just doesn't know it," Buffy told him emotionlessly.
~*~
Since she'd burned her house down there wasn't another place she felt comfortable going to, except oddly enough the school library. And to get into it she had Spike do a little breaking and entering.
They walked the halls and she told him once again about parent teacher night, the night she'd first fought him. She didn't know why she was bringing it up, now of all times. She couldn't have stopped herself even if she'd wanted to. Some force compelled her to speak. And to keep on talking.
"I think you would have killed me," she said her voice conversational. Calm and almost cheerful. "Except for my Mom coming in when she did. She hit you over the head with an axe. Saved my life. I think you would have killed me," she repeated.
And she did think that.
She'd never met another vampire like him before. He was impatient, he was cocky, arrogant, a hell of a fighter, and he'd killed Slayers before too. He'd been so in love with Dru, she mused with a little grimace. He would have done anything for Dru.
He would have killed her. There was no doubt in her mind that had her mother not stepped in when she had, Spike would have had another Slayer under his belt.
She turned slightly to look at him, to see him staring at her, a look on his face she didn't care to describe, or read. She gave him a smile and bumped him with her shoulder.
"C'mon Spike. You're a vampire and I'm the Slayer. We're supposed to kill eachother. Not love one another. That's not supposed to happen. Once was sure as hell enough," she stated.
She didn't know what she was saying. Or why she was saying this, all she knew was that she had to keep talking. To keep herself from falling. She had to…
"Did I tell you about Angel? How much I loved him? It was crazy. I couldn't keep away from my broody vamp. He was like a slow acting drug, I became addicted over time. His secrets. His soul, God it all consumed me. He was it. He was a hero, seeking redemption. He was everything to me."
She led the way into the library. She glanced around. Taking in the room, seeing it and not seeing it. She saw her mother on the ground, lifeless. She saw Giles standing giving them information on Poglra demon's and their cousins Grotsa demons.
That day when Dru had first entered her mind.
It was the beginning.
Or maybe the end.
She didn't have to look at Spike to know he wasn't taking what she was saying too well.
"But he had one little problem. A problem that became mine. I would never have suspected what it was. You know what?" she turned to face him and watched him turn those burning blue eyes her way.
They latched onto hers and she took a step closer.
"No, what?" Spike asked coldly.
"He can't handle sex. Makes him too happy. Loses his soul and ends up killing innocent people. His alter ego Angelus. That's his problem. Sex plus happiness equals: Angelus. But see, I still loved him, I couldn't help myself. It crawled around inside of me, slithered into my brain, ate away at my heart, and while he destroyed I looked the other way. Until I finally came to my senses and stuck a sword into his gut and sent his sorry ass to hell."
She circled the room, trailed her hand along the table top and watched Spike watch her.
"He made me lie to my friends and I let people die because I loved him. I loved him. Probably still do. Then," she paused for a moment as she shoved a hand through her hair. Ran the tip of her tongue along her lips. "There's you. William the Bloody. Well I hated you. And see that's why this is so confusing to me. I hated you. Even when I envied Dru because of your devotion to her. You weren't supposed to be a part of my life, but you crept in. How? Why? Why?"
She stared at him and really wanted to know. Why had he become such a big part of her life? What had possessed her to let him in? To open herself up for a world of pain.
"Maybe it happened before Dru wiggled her way into my head. Maybe I knew… Maybe it was always there. Who knows? She asked for my help and I came. I came and it all began." She flung out an arm, sweeping books off the counter and in a fit of rage she tossed the table aside. "All of this began! Dru, you, Maggie, Tate! Everything was fine; everything was fine until you came back. Why? Why did this have to happen? Why did I- why did I let this happen? I could have easily stopped this. I could have ignored Dru's' call. I could have stayed here. With Angel. My Mom would still be alive. If Angel and I-"
She shook her head and tried to focus on what she was saying.
"If Angel and I- if we were still together. Things would be okay. Me and Angel-"
"Are through," Spike snarled as he stalked towards her.
Buffy frowned.
"No. No," she mumbled. "It's not. It could still work out. Things would go back to normal. Things would go back. I know it would. Things would be normal." They had to be. She knew she wouldn't be able to handle this new life of hers. Before…with Angel her life had been sane. It had held comfort and love. Safety.
Oh God, what had she done? She wondered guiltily.
Spike kept striding closer until he had bumped her body back into the counter, and he reached out capturing her chin in his hand.
"And you think I'd let that happen Buffy?" he asked carefully. "That I would actually stand by and let you be with that pillock? You two will never be together. Never. I'd kill him and you before I let that happen. You think I don't know what you're doing saying all these things? You want me mad, well I'm mad. What are you going to do about it? You wanna fight me? You want me to kill you luv? You wanna kill me?! Make it so I never existed. Go ahead. If I could I would take your pain away, I'd bring back your Mum, and kill Maggie before she had a chance to harm her. But I can't. I don't know what I can do for you Buffy," he told her his voice growing thick with emotion.
She stared at him.
She wanted to strike out, hit him. Make him feel what she was feeling, she wanted it to stop. All of it. She wanted him out of her face and away from her most of all.
She wanted him close. She wanted to drown in the deep depths of his eyes. She wanted oblivion in his arms. She wanted to surrender to this need that clawed its way through her. She wanted to smooth her fingers over his sculpted cheeks, part his lips with her tongue and delve in. To taste his strength, his courage… His love.
Maybe…she could drown in it, the sensations she knew it would cause, the heat, the desire. Unable to stop herself she leaned forward, her hands lifted.
One taste and she could fall…
"Get away from me," she told him abruptly. She started to push him aside.
He dropped her chin and gripped her arms.
"Why? I know you blame me Buffy," he told her. He smirked a little as he leaned in closer. "You love me and you hate it. I can see it. I wonder how Angel feels about that. Precious Angel and his cursed soul. He'd never have allowed Joyce to die would he? Or-wait, maybe he would have. Angel would have done the job himself," he growled as she shoved him back.
"Shut up," she muttered running her hands up and down her arms.
She felt so cold.
"If it hadn't been for me Joyce would still be alive. Don't think I don't know that. I do. Got it burned into my brain. Hell half the things that have gone on wouldn't have happened if I'd only stayed away from you. Away from this bloody town!"
Buffy closed her eyes and tried to ignore him.
"Say it. Tell me how this is all my fault," he snarled out shaking her and forcing her to look at him. "Say it. Say it. Say it. Say it!"
She pushed him aside.
"Damn you! Why couldn't you stay away from me?! Why did you make me fall in love with you? I- I didn't want that. I don't want this--not with you! I can't do this, not again. Not with another vampire--Don't--d-don't touch me," she warned him as he reached out.
He ignored her warning and wrapped her in his arms.
"I love you," he whispered into her hair and held her tight. "I'll never let you go."
"That's not a comforting thought," she told him even as she tried to resist the comfort he was offering. She had known deep down that loving him would cause her more pain than she could have ever imagined.
Now faced with that reality his words only strengthened her resolve.
She couldn't be with him.
Not now.
Maybe not ever.
"It wasn't meant to be," he stated. "It's a fact. You're stuck with me."
"It would be so much easier if I hated you," she whispered as she lifted her arms and wrapped them around him. Why couldn't she go back in time and hate him again? Why? Why had things turned out like this?
Why?
"But you don't."
"But I don't," she acknowledged.
~*~
It had been Buffy's idea that they start looking for her friends. That they should head to the hospital for starters and check in on Angel. She'd made it an order rather than a request.
He hadn't protested.
He'd seen her frantic need to escape what was happening and why. He'd watched as she had set her home on fire, had watched it begin to burn. He'd watched her try and persuade herself that everything would be so much better if only she had remained here. It didn't help to know that she was probably right.
That if she had remained away from him things for her at least, would have remained sane. Now…now she had a life in ruins and it could be put squarely on his shoulders. As he had no doubt her Watcher and Angel were doing. They'd tell her he was no good and that he'd brought her too much pain already.
That she should send him away or better yet let them kill him.
"… you think she killed them too?" Buffy was saying.
He sent her a glance and then turned his gaze back to the street. Stretched his senses for any sign of Maggie's men. It was still dangerous to be out and about. They still had no idea what had actually happened here.
"I think…" he hesitated saying the rest. But he couldn't sugar coat this and let her have any delusions. "I think she killed your Mum on the spur of the moment. She'd probably come back from taking care of your house. I doubt she had time to kill your friends," he told her bluntly.
She paused in their walk and turned to fully face him. Her hair whipped about her face as the wind blew, Spike reached out and smoothed it away, tucked a few strands behind her ear.
"You really think she killed my Mom just for the hell of it?" she demanded. She seemed unable to accept that. He figured to her, loving her Mum like she did, it would be impossible for a person to kill for the hell of it.
Spike kept his face averted as he dropped his hand from her cheek.
"You don't know her like I do. Anything's possible with her Buffy. This has just begun," he muttered. "She's not through with me. And she's damn well not through with you! She wants to control us. She already does."
Buffy shook her head.
"No she doesn't," she denied.
"Doesn't she?" Spike turned and finally met her eyes. "She has my son. Which means half of my attention is devoted to him. My other half is devoted to you. I'm torn straight down the middle here luv! She didn't kill Joyce for fun--well that's not entirely true. I think she enjoyed it but she did it for a reason. She wanted you and I distracted enough so that she could leave. Leave with my son and I'd let her go."
"What are you saying? You're here because of me? Listen to me: I don't need you here with me," she snapped angrily walking off. Spike eyed her for a moment before he followed after her.
Anger wasn't something he wanted to give into at the moment. But he'd be damned if she thought she could toss him aside like that. She needed him and she bloody well knew it.
"No you listen to me," he told her. "I'm here because I want to be. Now if things had turned out a little differently and your Mum was alive then…then I'd have left. And taken you with me. But as things stand right now it's not an option. I know that. What I was saying was that Maggie knows all this. She kno-"
"I don't care what she knows. In fact that's one more reason why you should leave," she said firmly.
Spike felt his whole body stiffen. He couldn't have heard her right, he thought bleakly. She hadn't just told him he should leave. Leave her here alone. To be with Angel.
His stomach clenched in the sick realization of just where Buffy's thoughts were headed. He shook his head and when he spoke he could barely get out the word.
"What?" he breathed out.
"I think you should leave. No actually I know you should leave. There's nothing here for you." She paused, and then anticipating his argument, shook her head. "Except me and well…that's not going to happen. At least not anytime soon. I have too much to handle here. I have to…um…" her voice trailed off.
And Spike assumed she was trying to come up with a suitable lie to tell him.
"Why are you trying to push me away? First in the library and now this. All I want to do is help you. I want to fix this. I can fix this. I know I can. But I need you beside me for that to happen. I can't have you shutting me out. I won't allow that."
"You won't allow it?" she hissed out. "What is this? Why is this all about you? What about what I want? What I need?" she cried out. "I want you gone! I need you gone!"
"I suppose you want for me to go away. Far away so you can wallow in your grief and self pity. Where you can blame yourself and your little friends can delude themselves into thinking you're fine. Then you would have Angel on hand too, at your beck and call. Have your bloody perfect relationship--except no sex. But that's okay because you've got the greatest love in the whole bloody fucking world!" His laugh when it came was deep and full of bitterness.
Buffy laughed too.
It was either that or sob.
"Yeah we do," she nodded in total agreement. "He treats me like…he treats me li-"
"A child. Don't give me that spiel about your little Romeo and Juliet romance. It's over and the sooner that poof gets that, the better off we'll all be."
He watched as she blanched and felt no satisfaction in his words. It was true though and the sooner everyone understood that, the easier it would be all around. Angel had to go. Period. He would be a constant reminder about the past.
So are you, a little voice in his mind whispered. She'll look at you and blame you.
Spike clenched his jaw and tried to ignore it.
He was being selfish, he knew it, but didn't give a damn. He hadn't spent all those months locked up in a cage just to have her push him away, and take away the only chance of happiness they both had.
He needed her to get all of her anger out. He needed to let her rant and rave and let go. He'd be there to catch her when she fell. He hadn't wanted to push her but he knew her. Despite what she might like to think, he knew her.
She'd bury this so deep that when it burst out it wouldn't be pretty or even healthy.
"I suppose this is what you think your Mum would want huh? To let you spend your life running away. Pushing the people who love you most, away? I never thought…I never thought I'd see the day you'd let your fear lead you."
He shook his head in disappointment.
Buffy stared at him in shock.
"What are you talking about? Fear? I don't-I'm not afraid! Just because I don't want to be with you doesn't make me a coward! All I want is for you to go away. So that I can repair things between me and my friends. Do you have any idea what this is going to do to them? To Giles? He can't stand to look at me as it is how do you think he'll react to my Mom's death?! He'll blame me. My friends will blame me Spike. It's not like it'd be wrong of them, because hell it's the truth! I left her and them to go and play rescue ranger. I'm the Slayer! I have a job and I—"
"What about the other Slayer? There are two of you. She was here. Why didn't she protect your Mum? Why didn't Angel stay and take care of her? Why didn't your Watcher? They left too! They didn't have to but they did. Tell me why? Did you ask them to leave too? To come and rescue you? Seems to me your Mum was a grown woman and knew what she was doing. She wasn't blind; she must have realized the risks. It's easy to see why you'd blame yourself but it's not your fault she's dead."
"No it's Maggie's fault," Buffy finally said after a bit. "I just…I don't know what to do. All I know is that you have to go. It's not about me or you. It's about Tate. He's just a baby. He can't protect himself and he's at Maggie's mercy. She's crazy. We've established that and I-I can't let you stay here looking after me while she has your son. It wouldn't be right."
It was on the tip of his tongue to tell her she was wrong. That he could be here for her and look for Tate too. But he knew it would be untrue. He couldn't do both. It was either one or the other.
"Buffy…" he began in a pained whisper.
"That wasn't a suggestion Spike," she told him sending him a steely eyed look.
"It's not that easy," Spike snapped. "I can't just walk away from you. Not now! Not while you're going through this. You need me and dammit I need you."
Before he could stop himself he reached out and tugged her to him. He slipped a hand into her hair and lowered his head, close enough now that when he inhaled he soaked up her very essence.
He lifted his other hand and let his fingers slide down the side of her face, to the underside of her jaw. He whispered her name as his lips brushed hers, his fingers sliding a torturous path down her neck.
He could feel her heart pounding, echoing loudly in his ears, the rush of blood as it flowed through her veins. The quickening of her breathing as he kissed along her smooth jaw line.
"Don't send me away," he whispered as he nipped a path down her throat.
Buffy's breath came out in a little hiss as he bit down, her fingers clenched on his forearms in reaction to the jittery excitement it sent through her.
"I'm not-"she began her voice breathless. "You have—don't make this harder."
A low rumble emerged from his throat in response, and he smiled against her skin.
"Stop me then."
She reached up and pulled his face from her neck and peered into his eyes. He wasn't sure what she saw exactly. All he knew was that a look he couldn't understand passed over her features; before she pulled his head back down and met his lips with her own.
His hand clenched in her hair as she parted her lips and let her tongue dance across his bottom lip, she bit down just hard enough that a growl threatened to rise. He parted his lips and let his Slayer have her way. Her tongue slid between his teeth and was met by his own.
The taste of her exploded inside his brain as he watched her eyes darken as the kiss deepened. She was sweet, like a peach, as wild as the wind that whipped around them.
She tasted like life.
She tasted like his soul.
He groaned as he released her hair and wrapped his arms around her waist. He pulled her closer and tilted his head slightly, taking control of the kiss, his tongue battled with hers in an erotic rhythm that matched the beat of her heart.
"Spike," she sighed his name as she broke the kiss gasping for air. "Spike…"
He kissed her again.
"I love you," she told him against his now warmed lips.
Everything was going to fine, he realized then. As his hands roamed over her body, as his lips devoured her, he knew things would work out between them.
She loved him.
He loved her.
"Spike," she said his name again, and through his passion fogged brain it registered. The tone was the same only not. He lifted his head and stared into her glassy eyes.
His stomach clenched in response to the look in them.
"Buffy…" he began his voice laced with lingering passion and concern.
"Help me," she breathed as she lifted a hand and let it fall limp to her side as her whole body stiffened.
Spike's arms tightened around her and he shook her as he listened to the beat of her heart thin and slow.
"Buffy!!!"
Her body seized up and jerked knocking both of them off their feet. Spike managed to maneuver himself so she fell onto him instead of beneath him.
Her body bucked and convulsed.
Spike's hands ran frantically over her body as he lay her down.
"Buffy, please, what's wrong with you?!" he yelled trying to hold her down.
He watched in terror as her mouth opened on a silent scream.
"Help me," he whispered the words. Then raising his head he screamed them. "HELP ME! Some one help me! Help me."
Terror swept through him like a tidal wave and his mind barely functioned as he tried to stop Buffy from causing herself any harm. He didn't know what to do for her, he didn't know whether or not to run and find her help himself or-
He barely noticed when the voices began to speak to him. Telling him an ambulance was on its way, and that he had to put something in Buffy's mouth to keep her from swallowing her tongue.
On automatic he did as he was told.
And when her body abruptly went limp in his arms and her pulse slowed and her heart tripped in her chest, he tilted back his head and howled in rage and sorrow.
He wasn't letting Maggie take Buffy away from him too.
She was his Slayer and he wasn't going to allow her to die.
Not now.
Not ever.