His Slayer
Disclaimer: Joss owns Btvs
A/N: Hi all. I figured I'd better get this written while I was still inspired so you all wouldn't have another month long wait. So here's the latest chapter and I hope you enjoy. I think we'll be getting into some of the action in the next few chapters. There's a part in this that is rather confusing but I wrote it specifically like that so that I can get into it in the next few chapters. Thanks once more for sticking with me through this disillusionment with Spuffy. I'm keeping the faith though so… Enjoy. Skyz.
~*~
Chapter Twenty-Two:
Always, always, always it seemed to happen this way. Whenever she wanted to do something good, whenever she attempted to be a better person it backfired and blew up in her face. And that was why she had taken to not giving a damn about other people. She couldn't afford to, because once she did it was inevitable that they were hurt or killed for knowing her. So it was better to be alone and miserable than happy and have all the friends in the world.
When she'd hit Sunnydale the only thing on her mind had been her anticipation in meeting another Slayer and getting to kick some ass with a girl who could hang as tough and as long as she could. And sure it was rocky at first getting to know B and her little gang. Trying to fit in even when she knew it would only cause her more pain if she actually became attached to these people. Well that had been her first mistake.
Getting to know B's little rag tag group of misfits and liking them even as they seemed to dislike her. Starting a mother-daughter kinda thing with Joyce and letting B care about her.
See she shouldn't be surprised that Joyce was the one to die. It only made sense. Joyce was the one thing that meant the most to both Slayers. The one person who she had felt a real honest to God connection with. And for that Joyce had suffered. And there was nothing Faith could do to change that.
It was a chilly night and she'd been careless and had only grabbed her lightweight leather jacket and keys before she'd left her little run down room on the edge of town. She hadn't been thinking as she had spent the whole day at the hospital at B's bedside. Hanging with the gang and talking.
Faith's face turned into a grimace as she recalled how the day had gone as they all tried to ignore the fact that things were terribly wrong. Ignore the fact that Giles blamed her and wasn't hiding that fact. Trying to ignore that Oz had up and left and Willow was even more devastated than before.
There were a number of things wrong and it wasn't something that anyone wanted to discuss. All they had to do was look around to see it laid out before them.
It had been a relief to leave the hospital and get away from them all. Because seeing Buffy like that all deadly still and pale had been hard to stand. Because B was a Slayer so if it could happen to her then more than likely it would happen to Faith as well. And that was one scary ass thought.
They'd spoken about one important thing though while they'd been at the hospital and that had been about Angel. How Wesley the Watcher Spike had come to town with said Angel could very well turn Buffy even if she were out of danger, the temptation would be too much. And while the newest Watcher dude didn't know much about Angel-Brood she could see how Angel might actually do that.
It was hard for her to admit but she was scared. If they couldn't find a way to help Buffy she would be alone. She would be the only Slayer and she feared she would have no one but herself to rely on like the old days. And that was something she didn't want anymore. She had gotten used to having someone watching her back and having friends. If Buffy died she knew all of that would go away. Because no one would want to help a person they held responsible for all that went wrong.
She'd gotten as far away from the hospital as she could and made her way slowly through the cemeteries of Sunnydale. Stake in hand and bad attitude striding a good ten feet ahead of her to clear her path.
"Well look at what we have here," the voice came from somewhere to her left and in the shadows so she couldn't see much of anything. But the tone of the voice caused her to roll her eyes. Whoever it was speaking was trying to be menacing and evil but only accomplished coming off as cheesy as hell.
"Why don't you come out and see for yourself," she retorted leaving off the asshole she wanted to add on. She gave herself points for restraint for that one.
She heard some rustling and then a little yelp before the voice spoke again.
"Don't you know it's not safe for little girls to be wandering around cemeteries after dark?"
Faith narrowed her eyes and twirled her stake between her fingers and spread her legs wide to peer into the darkness.
"Don't you know it's not safe to aggravate and already aggravated woman? It's a dangerous game you're playing here. And I'm really getting tired of it so do us both a favor and get your ass out here so I can-"
"…but Tucker-" she heard a voice whine before a figure was pushed through the bushes and into the dim light the moon cast.
She peered at him and took a few steps closer to get a better look as he rolled over and let out a scream as he got a look at her.
Mouth slightly agape Faith was slightly incredulous as she moved fast and leaned down, grabbing the boy by his shirt front and jerking him to his feet. She pulled him with her as she moved more into the light and once satisfied she turned her head back to the bushes.
"Hey you in there get out here and join your friend here," she called out and only watched as she heard someone run off. She turned her attention to the kid she held in front of her.
He was small, frail looking with a thin face that was dominated by wide glasses and a mouth currently pinched in fear. He was trembling in her grasp and Faith flashed her teeth and felt him shudder. It gave her a little thrill to see that she was scaring this kid.
"What were you and your friend doing here? And you had better tell me the truth because I'll know if you're lying."
"W…we uh we were just playing," he stammered out as he gulped.
"Playing?" Faith echoed. "In a cemetery? What were you playing? Who wants to die first? Jeez," she gave a snort of disgust and shoved him away from her watching as he stumbled and then caught his balance.
"Please don't hurt me," he cried out.
"Listen get outta here. It's not safe here all right?" Faith shook her head and turned away from the kid.
"A…are you like a super hero?"
The tentative question halted her steps and she kept her back to the kid as she answered.
"Where'd you get that?"
She heard him approach and tensed readying herself for a possible attack.
"Cuz me and Tucker were watching you. You um…you killed those vampires. With that stake you're holding. So you've got super powers and stuff? Because you've got this bad ass v…vibe going that's so Electra. I mean I bet you can kick some serious…"
He trailed off as she turned sharply and faced him. Where the hell had her head been, she thought angrily, if she hadn't even heard this dimwit and his pal following her?
"You were following me?" she asked calmly wondering at how she could have been so stupid. She couldn't let herself be the one to die this time. She had to make amends to Buffy for letting Joyce die.
The kid took a step back.
She took a step forward.
"Yes. We were out looking for some GI Joe's but we found you instead and Tucker, that's my brother, said that we had to follow you to see if you were a super hero and if we could-" he began to babble and Faith cut him off with a glare.
"GI Joe's? What do you mean by that? You seen a lot of these uh…commando people?"
Excited and hopeful the kid hurried forward and took her slightly relaxed stance to mean she wanted to talk.
"Yeah. We've seen a whole bunch of them. In fact Tucker and I found out where they have their secret head quarters. Kinda like X-Men and their mansion in Westchester only instead of it being a school for mutants they have their headquarters under a school. I wonder if they have a bald paralyzed leader with telepathic abilities. It would be so cool. I mean--"
It really was something to listen to this kid speak. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. All she could seem to focus on was the fact that he'd mentioned the Initiative.
"You're right I am a super hero and you my little geek are gonna help me do some cool super hero type of crap."
With that said she stomped towards him and clamped her hand around his arm and began to walk off.
"What's your name? Is it Butch Girl? Not that you give off lesbian vibes but you are really, really, really strong and you're hurting me. And I don't think that's a good name anyway cuz you're better than that. Um…how about um…Hot Tamale Mama? I've always wanted to go to Mex-he-i-co. I'm Andrew by the way and that guy who ran away was my brother Tucker. He goes to Sunnydale High and so do I but I'm a few years back. I-"
"I'm Faith and if you don't shut it I'll shut it for you," Faith cut him off sweetly tightening her hand on his arm intentionally.
Andrew gave a big smile in response.
~*~
Giles rubbed the bridge of his nose and with a neck stiff with staying in the same position for too long he rose from his seat at Buffy's bedside. He stretched his body and felt as well as heard his old bones crack and at once loathed and welcomed his old age. He could not be less than pleased with his life, he was more than anything at the moment feeling like a piece of-he would not call himself something he didn't believe he was. He was at the moment a tired old man who dared to believe that he had some life left in him. He was seriously wondering if he could continue on in this vain. If when Buffy woke could he continue to be her Watcher? Could he continue to guide this young woman when it seemed more than apparent that she neither needed nor wanted his advice?
He could not say at the moment.
He turned and looked over as the door opened and Wesley strode in a small white bag tucked under his arm and two cups of coffee in his hands. His glasses were slipping down his nose and his two day growth of stubble gave him an oddly dangerous edge, Giles mused as his resentment reared its ugly head. His jaw clenched and he couldn't seem to move his gaze as he watched Wes stride to Buffy's bedside and place his bag on her beside table and then headed for him with the coffee.
"Here you go," Wes said as he handed Giles a cup of coffee.
Giles grudgingly took it and took a sip. His silent regard making Wesley uncomfortable and he was glad for it as he took another sip before he realized that he was drinking this coffee black as he never did. He grimaced and with his eyes narrowed he finally allowed himself to speak his mind to the insolent whelp who wanted to take his place in Buffy's life.
"So." He didn't have to try hard to make his voice flat and unfriendly. "Tell me where do you think this little relationship you've established with Buffy will get you? Do you think she'll want anything to do with you once she wakes up and has time to think about all of this? That she will honestly want to be around you or Spike as it dawns on her that all of this was the reason her mother is dead? Has it occurred to you that none of us will want you to be here? A constant reminder that her mother is dead and her house is gone and you are no longer needed! I am her Watcher and if you think you can just come here and take over you are sadly mistaken!"
It took Giles a moment to realize that he'd squeezed his coffee cup so hard that most of it was spilled over his hand and scalding him. He breathed in deeply and with a measure of control he hadn't known he possessed he headed for the waste basket.
Wesley followed him with his eyes.
"Are you quite finished?" Wes asked carefully.
Giles violently tossed his cup of coffee into the trash and whirled to face Wesley. He had taken only half a step towards Wes before he realized belatedly where he was. Buffy was lying there in a coma and he was about to pound her…newest friend to a bloody pulp. What was wrong with him?
"If you are, might I suggest something? I have no intention of taking your place nor does Buffy have any intentions of replacing you. I have only known her for a few weeks and have come to greatly appreciate and respect her. I care for her and Spike. Now it might seem beyond you at the moment but I can say rightfully that the Spike you knew and who he is today are two very different people. My only hope here is to be there for Buffy and Spike when they need me. I want to be their friend. I hope that I am. And you need to take a step back and re-evaluate what it is you think would be what Buffy wants. Do you think she'll want to see your disgust and derision? Do you think that she will be okay with the fact that you blame her for this? I think you are forgetting something here Mr. Giles. She may not wake up from this coma and if she does she might not be the same person she was before. She has to wake up to deal with the loss of her mother, her home, and the scorn and blame of her Watcher, a man whom she loves and respects. I don't think you understand that when she wakes all of this could destroy her and she will need everyone's support through this hard time."
Giles had begun to nod through the middle of Wesley's little speech and was still nodding as Wes came to an end. He wiped his hand on his pants leg and smiled.
"See that's where you're wrong Wesley. Spike is not a person; he is a vile evil vampire. He kills people because he can and there is not a thing you can say that will make me see any differently. This vampire you see as a person watched idly while Angelus tortured me and terrorized Buffy and her friends. He is nothing and the sooner Buffy remembers that the better. You and I are not alike in the fact that I have a Slayer and you do not. I know what it is I talk about. You have never been out of London or the Council's bosom and have no idea what it's like to be the moving force behind a Slayer. I am her Watcher. I took the chance and became more than that. I became her friend and she became a daughter and if you think I don't know what's best for her you are mistaken! I know that this will surely be difficult for her but she has to take responsibility for what has happened. She is to be held responsible for a part in this debacle. And if it hurts her feelings then that is just too bloody bad. I can't keep her hidden from this and wouldn't want to for that matter. Now don't ever presume to preach to me about what I should and shouldn't do in regards to my Slayer."
The silence that fell was thick with tension and repressed with so many emotions that Wes wondered why they both weren't choking on it and falling over from the pressure of it all.
Wes turned his eyes away first and it was then that he noticed. He took a step towards the bed her name falling from his lips in a shocked whisper.
"Buffy…"
Giles turned then too and his eyes widened behind his glasses as he looked at Buffy.
Her eyes were open.
Giles brushed past Wesley and reached for Buffy. Gripping her shoulders tightly as he stared into her eyes.
"Buffy? Can you hear me? Bu-" he cried out desperately as he tried to reach her.
Wes pulled Giles away from Buffy, as he feared Giles might harm Buffy more than was good.
"Get a doctor," Wes ordered as he moved Giles towards the door and took his place at Buffy's bedside.
Giles stared at him as if he couldn't comprehend a word of what Wes had said.
"Get a doctor!" Wes yelled as he watched as Buffy began to move and he dimly realized that she wasn't having a seizure but he wasn't exactly sure what was happening to her either. So they needed a doctor so they could find out what was happening to her.
Giles finally seemed to pull himself out of whatever hell he'd found himself in as he blinked and gave a curt nod.
He left the room at a run.
~*~
"I knew this was how it would be."
His statement was met with silence and it was as if he realized this was something she needed so he didn't press the issue. And for that she was grateful. As she wasn't sure what it was she wanted to say or what she could say. There were a number of things going on in her mind at the moment.
The least being how things would go from here. Who was to say how things would go? She didn't know what she was going to do. Her life as it had been was over with and there was no going back to that or anything that resembled that life. She wasn't ignorant to the fact that she was partly to blame for what had happened.
But she still couldn't get over the fact that she wasn't the only one who was at fault here.
With a sigh she hadn't wanted to give she turned from the window and glanced at the man standing at her side.
"Are you happy now, Angel?" she asked tiredly as she pressed the palms of her hands to the side of her head as if to keep it attached.
Angel looked over at her and with a small smile he reached for her. Letting his hands rest on her shoulders he intended to pull her to him. But she moved evading his touch and his offer of comfort.
"Yes I am happy Buffy. This is something I hoped for, something I prayed for. I wanted this more than you can imagine. I love you."
Buffy nodded.
This wasn't something new to her after all she was well aware of how much Angel loved her. In fact it was one of the things she liked most about him. His love for her was something she cherished. Something she enjoyed more than she should. After all it wasn't everyday you made a souled vampire fall in love with you was it?
She couldn't help but feel a little proud of that fact.
"You can't tell me you aren't happy Buffy," he said as he stared at her, his eyes searing into her as if trying to burn his happiness into her by sheer force of will.
Buffy finally removed her hands from the sides of her head and faced Angel. With something akin to desperation and resignation she allowed herself to meet his soulful eyes and speak.
"Yes. I am happy," she said her voice serene and even slightly cheerful. Was it a lie she wondered? Was she not happy?
He was still watching her and though she realized that it was important for her to make him feel as happy as she could, it couldn't just be her that made him happy. He had to be happy on his own, he had to be able to be okay by himself, and she had to be okay with that.
It was hard for her she supposed. Hard for her to let this all go. To let the grip he had on her go so that she could find a life with someone else.
But she couldn't do it. And because of that she knew she was weak, too weak to ever hurt Angel the way she was sure he was able and willing to hurt her. Perhaps it was that she held what they had, what he had given her, closer to her heart than he did.
She could not doubt that he loved her. He showed her in his small ways every chance he got, but the truth was he'd had little to no experience being human in more than two hundred years. He hadn't exposed himself to the humane side of life so that he would be able to understand all the things that went with being slightly less monstrous and more human.
Not that he wasn't trying mind you he was. Trying a little too hard would be more accurate.
"Let's go out," he said suddenly and roused her from her thoughts.
She didn't protest this and he seemed glad as he took her hand in his larger one and they headed for the door. This was a new thing that had been slightly startling. Angel's need to go out, to show the world that he loved her, loved her more now than ever.
Her broody vamp had turned himself into a man, something she hardly recognized as such, and something she wasn't sure he even knew himself.
The Bronze was packed and they were lucky to find a table. But they did find one in the back. Off to the side and in the shadows and though it had been one of Angel's favorites before it was not to his liking now. She saw him scowl and felt a brief wave of something she couldn't describe surge through her. She turned her gaze away not able to bear looking at him a moment longer.
"What do you want to drink?" he asked eagerly, ready and willing to do her biding. Anything she wanted, anything she needed he was there ready and happy to oblige her.
A cynical part of her brain couldn't help but notice that it had been Spike's interest in her that had asserted this new and improved Angel. So it could be said had it not been for Spike then Angel would not have given a second thought to leaving town and breaking her heart.
"A Coke," she murmured softly and when he reached for her hand and slid his over it she didn't flinch only smiled before he rose and left the table to get their drinks.
Her eyes slid to the crowded dance floor and for a brief time she allowed herself to get lost in the movements of the couples gyrating and grinding away.
A hand slid along the back of her neck, fingers sliding downward tracing small circles along her spine.
"All hearts and flowers then is it?" Spike asked as leaned over her shoulder his eyes on her face as she continued to stare at the crowd.
"What's your point?" she asked at last as she moved her neck to dislodge his fingers. But they didn't budge only stayed as she moved. Irritating her and exciting her all at the same time.
"Does there have to be one? Couldn't I just be commenting on a fact? Saying something that happens to be true? Or is it not true and you're just being defensive because you think I know that it's not true? Or that you know that I know that you know that I kno-"
She turned sharply to face him causing him to move back as she swung towards him. His fingers slipped away and he eyed her cautiously.
"What is this?" she hissed out as she gestured to him. "What are you doing here Spike? I thought this was something that we agreed on. Things are just too…" She trailed off as words failed her at the moment. What could she say that hadn't already been said?
Spike's jaw clenched and she could see the struggle he was going through as his eyes darkened and anger seemed to drip off of him.
"No," he replied his voice hard and cold, "you decided what we'd do about "us". I had no say. You didn't even discuss this with me. I think I have a say in this little relationship you've got goin' with Angelus. Seems he's the one you're thinking about these days. Is this really what you want?"
Buffy rose and with a small growl pushed past him and made her way towards the door. She had to get out of here, away from him and everything he represented.
"You can't run away from this Buffy. This isn't fair to me or to you. Just because you're afraid of hurting Angel doesn't mean you have to give up your happiness for him. Don't you think he might realize down the line that you aren't happy? That he doesn't make you happy? That the life you're trying to build is-"
"Enough!" Buffy snapped as she whirled around and shoved him backwards. "You know what I want?" she demanded.
She didn't give him a chance to speak as she pressed as close as she could and claimed his mouth with her own. She plundered his mouth, sucking on his bottom lip before she bit down hard enough for him to gasp out in pain. Only to groan as her tongue swept a path along the length of his bottom lip and slipped inside.
She reached up gripping the back of his head, her fingers skimming through it as she anchored his mouth to hers and she let her mouth and body do the talking for her.
" Buffy, please," Spike moaned as he managed to tear his mouth away from hers long enough to speak. He gripped her arms pulling her tighter to him. "We could leave right now. You, Tate, and me. We could just leave and get away from here, away from Angel. I know you don't love him. You can't love him. Not the way you love me."
"Stop it," she whispered shakily. She pulled out of his arms. "How are we going to do that? He'd never let me go. Not now. Not ever. Maybe before. But now it's impossible for me to be away from him Spike. Maybe it would be better if you left and took Tate with you. It would be easier all around. You could go somewhere new, find someone new to love and be with. I haven't got it in me to-"
"You're talking nonsense," he retorted harshly.
Her laughter was filled with nothing resembling humor.
"Is this nonsense?" she asked shrilly as she gestured downwards.
They both turned their eyes downwards to her protruding belly and the thing--the baby that was separating them. Not only physically but emotionally as well.
"And the baby of course would come along," he added through gritted teeth.
"See? You couldn't even say it and mean it. There's no hope for us Spike and there never was. I don't know why I thought there could be. Just let me go. Let me go."
Spike lifted shaking hands and rubbed them furiously over his face.
"I can't. I don't know how. I will never let you go. I don't care whose baby that is. It could be mine, it could be his but the only thing I know is that it's a part of you and I'll love it. No matter what. Li-"
Buffy turned away from him.
"What is this?" she asked sharply. "I want out of this! Why are you doing this?!"
Spike frowned not understanding whom she was talking to.
"What? Whom are you talking to Buffy?" he asked suspiciously.
"No need to yell. I can hear you just fine," her mother's voice came from behind her and behind Spike.
Buffy moved past Spike to glare at Joyce.
"Why are you showing me this? What is the point of this? You know the only thing this is doing is making me feel worse. Worse than I ever could! What is this supposed to show me?"
Joyce sighed.
"What did you want me to show you, honey?" she asked quietly.
Buffy rolled her eyes unable to resist the urge. She moved away from Joyce and crossed her arms over her chest. Paced away from her mother and tried to make sense of all this.
"Is this heaven? Well all I can say is if this is heaven then show me hell because it has to be better than this! It has to be. I can't believe you thought this was what I wanted. I never--"
"That's enough Buffy. I am only showing you what could happen. What very well could happen. There's a chance that this," Joyce waved her arms around, "could happen. You could be forced to choose and Angel would be your choice. I think what you need to do is think why that is."
Buffy nodded.
"Because you say so?" she asked her voice scathing.
Joyce stood straighter and moved closer to Buffy.
"I am your mother. You will do as I say. I-"
"My mother is dead! She's dead and I don't know what this is but you-- I know you aren't her and this will not happen. I won't allow this to happen. I can not let this happen."
Joyce smiled sadly.
"You think you can stop what is already happening? It's fate Buffy. I died because it's what was supposed to happen. You're in a coma because this is where you needed to be so that you could see. You need to see. Open your eyes and see!"
"What?!" Buffy yelled. "What do you want me to see? I see that I'm pregnant and that I'm with Angel. I see that it's tearing Spike apart and that I'm not happy either. I see that this is the only thing I could think of that would make things easier. If Spike would leave then it would be a lot easier. I could try and be happy. What do you want me to see because obviously it's not getting through to me!"
"This isn't working," Joyce muttered. She reached out and grabbed Buffy's arm. "This isn't a glimpse for the mere purpose of making you angry Buffy. There's something here you have to see. Something I can't tell you, something you have to see for yourself. There are things at work here that you need to be prepared for."
"Like what?" Buffy demanded. She wasn't any closer to understanding this little glimpse than before. She had been put in the middle of something she didn't understand. Something she never wanted to understand.
And here was this woman who looked amazingly like her mother, someone she could not believe was actually her mother. Showing her things that she didn't understand and would not let herself understand.
"Please Buffy you have to promise me something--wait not yet! Not yet she can't go yet. This wasn't how this was supposed to go! Please no, no, no, no, no--"
Buffy backed away as terror made its way around her. She lifted her arms and when pain raked through her she screamed.
"No you can't have her back yet. I won't let you," Joyce screamed.
But Buffy didn't hear her as darkness fell over her vision and she slid into oblivion.
~*~
"You are soooo not butch at all. You're like um… You are like Xena but hotter and minus Gabrielle. An amazon-"
"Please leave your praise at the door and shut the hell up," Faith snapped as they entered the hospital.
Andrew clamped his mouth shut and nodded vigorously.
He slid his gaze around and took in all the activity while Faith strode towards the admit desk and gave the nurse sitting behind the desk a grin.
"I'd like you to page Dr. Grant. Tell him to meet me in room 230, I think there's something he needs to see."
While the nurse stared at her suspiciously and reluctantly did what Faith had asked Faith gave her a nod of thanks before she tightened her grip on her prisoner and made her way to the elevator.
"I can't believe you're just walking along like you don't have this guy by the throat. Like you don't give a rats-"
"Do I have to say this again? Be quiet?" she asked as she stepped into the elevator and glared at Andrew.
"No. I um…I get it. Let me um…shut up now. Okay?"
"Good. I've got enough on my mind without your crap. This here doctor better take care of Buffy or else!"
She glared at the thin man she held in her grasp. She tightened her grip on the man as he gulped and shuddered.
"I told you I'd have to see for myself what is wrong with your friend."
"And you will fix her. Thought you could sneak away and run off to la la land and no one would give a damn? Well guess again."
They left the elevator and Faith dragged the scientist behind her as she walked towards Buffy's room. Only to pause and falter as she spotted Giles and Wes hovering at her closed door.
"What's going on?" she demanded as she hurried her steps.
Wes turned and stared.
Giles kept his gaze glued to the closed door.
"What--who is that you've got there?" Wes asked worriedly.
"Never mind what's wrong with Buffy? Is she dead?" Faith asked fearfully.
"She's…well um... She opened her eyes earlier and they're in there examining her. So far as we can tell there's nothing wrong with her or worse with her for that matter."
Faith swallowed hard.
"Here," she thrust the man into Wesley. "He should be able to help. He works for the Initiative. He's a doctor and I think he could help," she couldn't help but repeat.
Shoving her hands into her pockets Faith balanced on the balls of her feet as Wes shook his head and his eyes narrowed in confusion.
"How did you find him?" Giles asked at last.
"Oh, well we just did a little hunting. Sniffed out his trail and when we found him we kicked a lit-" Andrew began excitedly.
Buffy's door opened and Dr. Grant stepped out.
"Mr. Giles," he started interrupting Andrew.
"This man should be able to help you fix what's wrong with Buffy," Wes interrupted as he shoved the man forward.
The doctor stared for a moment.
"And this would be?" Dr. Grant asked carefully.
"Our best hope," Faith replied grimly.
"I'm Dr. Steven Zieler and I think I may be able to help," he replied and when Wes jabbed him in the back he offered his hand.
Dr. Grant looked at them all for a moment before he took the hand and shook it.
"Come with me. If you can help us understand what's going on with Ms. Summers then I'd gladly take all the help I can get."
With that said the doctor began to walk away.
"If you don't mind I would like to go along," Wesley said.
Dr. Grant turned back with a frown.
"Excuse me? That's highly irregular and--"
"And a young woman's life is on the line. You and I want the same thing. For Buffy to get better. So shall we?"
Having said that Wesley took Dr. Zieler's arm and hurried him forward. Dr. Grant reluctantly following.
Giles stepped into Buffy's room as the nurse strode out.
"Do you think your doctor can fix Buffy?" Giles asked.
Faith shrugged.
"I honestly don't know."
~*~
It was two days later when in the middle of the afternoon Dr. Grant came back with Wes and Dr. Zieler in tow. With an antidote or so they hoped. Once the nurse had inserted it into Buffy's IV all they could do was what they'd been doing for days.
Wait.
And they waited and waited and with each passing hour their hope left them.
And with each passing minute Angel became certain that the only option left was for him to actually turn her. He had to wait until the sun went down before he could reach the hospital. Before he could do what needed to be done.
He arrived eager to get started on this new journey with Buffy at his side. He hurried down the hall and took a deep breath as he paused outside of her closed door.
He could do this.
He would do this.
He wanted to do this.
His hand closed around the doorknob and he slowly pushed open the door and stepped into her room.
His steps faltered as he spotted the empty bed and he felt his stomach clench and his body begin to tremble.
"No…" he whispered in anguish.
"I suppose I shouldn't bother but I don't guess you'd be willing to tell me where Wesley is?"
Angel spun to face the adjoining bathroom and his mouth opened in shock as Buffy strode out.
He expected her to be looking at him but she wasn't she was staring behind her and for a awful moment Angel suspected Spike had come back for Buffy.
But it didn't seem like she was talking to Spike, he thought.
She was nodding.
"Well I gave it a shot. I can't stay here a minute longer, so whether I find Wes or not I have to get out of here. And don't tell me I have no place to go. I already know that," Buffy said sharply.
Slowly Angel closed his mouth. Shook his head and bit his bottom lip as he tried to dispute what it was he was seeing.
Buffy was awake and that was great but it seemed she'd woken up rather insane, he thought dazedly.
"Buff…?" he asked hesitantly.
Buffy turned to Angel with a look of mild annoyance on her face. She stepped fully into the room and the grim look on her face had him stiffening.
"Now this could just be me but what do you see Angel?" she asked as she gestured behind her. "Come out here so he can see you."
Angel was more nervous than he'd ever been before. What was going on here? Who had Buffy been talking to? Why did she look so grim and resigned? What had this coma done to her?
His thoughts came to a halt as nothing came out behind Buffy.
"So by the look on your face I can see this is all me. I'm crazy and seeing dead people. This is my life and I've got to find Wesley!" With that she hurried to the door.
Angel grabbed her arm.
"I don't even garner a hello?" he asked sharply.
Buffy paused long enough to shake her head.
"I have to find Wes," she muttered in response.
Angel shook his head as anger began to form.
"Why?" he asked angrily as he shook her slightly.
Buffy jerked out of his grasp and with a slightly disgusted look his way shook her head.
"So he can tell me where Spike is," was all she said as she moved out of the door and down the hall.
"That went rather well."
Buffy turned to look at her mother's form.
"Is that sarcasm? I didn't know ghosts could do that," she mocked with a smile. "Why are you haunting me?"
"Am I? I am here to help you Buffy. I told you that already."
"Help me with what? I don't need any help."
Joyce merely grinned.
"A child always needs a mother's advice no matter who they are or how old they are. You have things you need to see and understand and there's no one who will keep me from seeing this through Buffy. Maggie Walsh killed me and I'll be damned if I see the same thing happen to you!"
Buffy could find nothing to say to that and so she remained silent as she went in search for Wes and perhaps some answers.
Disclaimer: Joss owns Btvs
A/N: Hi all. I figured I'd better get this written while I was still inspired so you all wouldn't have another month long wait. So here's the latest chapter and I hope you enjoy. I think we'll be getting into some of the action in the next few chapters. There's a part in this that is rather confusing but I wrote it specifically like that so that I can get into it in the next few chapters. Thanks once more for sticking with me through this disillusionment with Spuffy. I'm keeping the faith though so… Enjoy. Skyz.
~*~
Chapter Twenty-Two:
Always, always, always it seemed to happen this way. Whenever she wanted to do something good, whenever she attempted to be a better person it backfired and blew up in her face. And that was why she had taken to not giving a damn about other people. She couldn't afford to, because once she did it was inevitable that they were hurt or killed for knowing her. So it was better to be alone and miserable than happy and have all the friends in the world.
When she'd hit Sunnydale the only thing on her mind had been her anticipation in meeting another Slayer and getting to kick some ass with a girl who could hang as tough and as long as she could. And sure it was rocky at first getting to know B and her little gang. Trying to fit in even when she knew it would only cause her more pain if she actually became attached to these people. Well that had been her first mistake.
Getting to know B's little rag tag group of misfits and liking them even as they seemed to dislike her. Starting a mother-daughter kinda thing with Joyce and letting B care about her.
See she shouldn't be surprised that Joyce was the one to die. It only made sense. Joyce was the one thing that meant the most to both Slayers. The one person who she had felt a real honest to God connection with. And for that Joyce had suffered. And there was nothing Faith could do to change that.
It was a chilly night and she'd been careless and had only grabbed her lightweight leather jacket and keys before she'd left her little run down room on the edge of town. She hadn't been thinking as she had spent the whole day at the hospital at B's bedside. Hanging with the gang and talking.
Faith's face turned into a grimace as she recalled how the day had gone as they all tried to ignore the fact that things were terribly wrong. Ignore the fact that Giles blamed her and wasn't hiding that fact. Trying to ignore that Oz had up and left and Willow was even more devastated than before.
There were a number of things wrong and it wasn't something that anyone wanted to discuss. All they had to do was look around to see it laid out before them.
It had been a relief to leave the hospital and get away from them all. Because seeing Buffy like that all deadly still and pale had been hard to stand. Because B was a Slayer so if it could happen to her then more than likely it would happen to Faith as well. And that was one scary ass thought.
They'd spoken about one important thing though while they'd been at the hospital and that had been about Angel. How Wesley the Watcher Spike had come to town with said Angel could very well turn Buffy even if she were out of danger, the temptation would be too much. And while the newest Watcher dude didn't know much about Angel-Brood she could see how Angel might actually do that.
It was hard for her to admit but she was scared. If they couldn't find a way to help Buffy she would be alone. She would be the only Slayer and she feared she would have no one but herself to rely on like the old days. And that was something she didn't want anymore. She had gotten used to having someone watching her back and having friends. If Buffy died she knew all of that would go away. Because no one would want to help a person they held responsible for all that went wrong.
She'd gotten as far away from the hospital as she could and made her way slowly through the cemeteries of Sunnydale. Stake in hand and bad attitude striding a good ten feet ahead of her to clear her path.
"Well look at what we have here," the voice came from somewhere to her left and in the shadows so she couldn't see much of anything. But the tone of the voice caused her to roll her eyes. Whoever it was speaking was trying to be menacing and evil but only accomplished coming off as cheesy as hell.
"Why don't you come out and see for yourself," she retorted leaving off the asshole she wanted to add on. She gave herself points for restraint for that one.
She heard some rustling and then a little yelp before the voice spoke again.
"Don't you know it's not safe for little girls to be wandering around cemeteries after dark?"
Faith narrowed her eyes and twirled her stake between her fingers and spread her legs wide to peer into the darkness.
"Don't you know it's not safe to aggravate and already aggravated woman? It's a dangerous game you're playing here. And I'm really getting tired of it so do us both a favor and get your ass out here so I can-"
"…but Tucker-" she heard a voice whine before a figure was pushed through the bushes and into the dim light the moon cast.
She peered at him and took a few steps closer to get a better look as he rolled over and let out a scream as he got a look at her.
Mouth slightly agape Faith was slightly incredulous as she moved fast and leaned down, grabbing the boy by his shirt front and jerking him to his feet. She pulled him with her as she moved more into the light and once satisfied she turned her head back to the bushes.
"Hey you in there get out here and join your friend here," she called out and only watched as she heard someone run off. She turned her attention to the kid she held in front of her.
He was small, frail looking with a thin face that was dominated by wide glasses and a mouth currently pinched in fear. He was trembling in her grasp and Faith flashed her teeth and felt him shudder. It gave her a little thrill to see that she was scaring this kid.
"What were you and your friend doing here? And you had better tell me the truth because I'll know if you're lying."
"W…we uh we were just playing," he stammered out as he gulped.
"Playing?" Faith echoed. "In a cemetery? What were you playing? Who wants to die first? Jeez," she gave a snort of disgust and shoved him away from her watching as he stumbled and then caught his balance.
"Please don't hurt me," he cried out.
"Listen get outta here. It's not safe here all right?" Faith shook her head and turned away from the kid.
"A…are you like a super hero?"
The tentative question halted her steps and she kept her back to the kid as she answered.
"Where'd you get that?"
She heard him approach and tensed readying herself for a possible attack.
"Cuz me and Tucker were watching you. You um…you killed those vampires. With that stake you're holding. So you've got super powers and stuff? Because you've got this bad ass v…vibe going that's so Electra. I mean I bet you can kick some serious…"
He trailed off as she turned sharply and faced him. Where the hell had her head been, she thought angrily, if she hadn't even heard this dimwit and his pal following her?
"You were following me?" she asked calmly wondering at how she could have been so stupid. She couldn't let herself be the one to die this time. She had to make amends to Buffy for letting Joyce die.
The kid took a step back.
She took a step forward.
"Yes. We were out looking for some GI Joe's but we found you instead and Tucker, that's my brother, said that we had to follow you to see if you were a super hero and if we could-" he began to babble and Faith cut him off with a glare.
"GI Joe's? What do you mean by that? You seen a lot of these uh…commando people?"
Excited and hopeful the kid hurried forward and took her slightly relaxed stance to mean she wanted to talk.
"Yeah. We've seen a whole bunch of them. In fact Tucker and I found out where they have their secret head quarters. Kinda like X-Men and their mansion in Westchester only instead of it being a school for mutants they have their headquarters under a school. I wonder if they have a bald paralyzed leader with telepathic abilities. It would be so cool. I mean--"
It really was something to listen to this kid speak. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. All she could seem to focus on was the fact that he'd mentioned the Initiative.
"You're right I am a super hero and you my little geek are gonna help me do some cool super hero type of crap."
With that said she stomped towards him and clamped her hand around his arm and began to walk off.
"What's your name? Is it Butch Girl? Not that you give off lesbian vibes but you are really, really, really strong and you're hurting me. And I don't think that's a good name anyway cuz you're better than that. Um…how about um…Hot Tamale Mama? I've always wanted to go to Mex-he-i-co. I'm Andrew by the way and that guy who ran away was my brother Tucker. He goes to Sunnydale High and so do I but I'm a few years back. I-"
"I'm Faith and if you don't shut it I'll shut it for you," Faith cut him off sweetly tightening her hand on his arm intentionally.
Andrew gave a big smile in response.
~*~
Giles rubbed the bridge of his nose and with a neck stiff with staying in the same position for too long he rose from his seat at Buffy's bedside. He stretched his body and felt as well as heard his old bones crack and at once loathed and welcomed his old age. He could not be less than pleased with his life, he was more than anything at the moment feeling like a piece of-he would not call himself something he didn't believe he was. He was at the moment a tired old man who dared to believe that he had some life left in him. He was seriously wondering if he could continue on in this vain. If when Buffy woke could he continue to be her Watcher? Could he continue to guide this young woman when it seemed more than apparent that she neither needed nor wanted his advice?
He could not say at the moment.
He turned and looked over as the door opened and Wesley strode in a small white bag tucked under his arm and two cups of coffee in his hands. His glasses were slipping down his nose and his two day growth of stubble gave him an oddly dangerous edge, Giles mused as his resentment reared its ugly head. His jaw clenched and he couldn't seem to move his gaze as he watched Wes stride to Buffy's bedside and place his bag on her beside table and then headed for him with the coffee.
"Here you go," Wes said as he handed Giles a cup of coffee.
Giles grudgingly took it and took a sip. His silent regard making Wesley uncomfortable and he was glad for it as he took another sip before he realized that he was drinking this coffee black as he never did. He grimaced and with his eyes narrowed he finally allowed himself to speak his mind to the insolent whelp who wanted to take his place in Buffy's life.
"So." He didn't have to try hard to make his voice flat and unfriendly. "Tell me where do you think this little relationship you've established with Buffy will get you? Do you think she'll want anything to do with you once she wakes up and has time to think about all of this? That she will honestly want to be around you or Spike as it dawns on her that all of this was the reason her mother is dead? Has it occurred to you that none of us will want you to be here? A constant reminder that her mother is dead and her house is gone and you are no longer needed! I am her Watcher and if you think you can just come here and take over you are sadly mistaken!"
It took Giles a moment to realize that he'd squeezed his coffee cup so hard that most of it was spilled over his hand and scalding him. He breathed in deeply and with a measure of control he hadn't known he possessed he headed for the waste basket.
Wesley followed him with his eyes.
"Are you quite finished?" Wes asked carefully.
Giles violently tossed his cup of coffee into the trash and whirled to face Wesley. He had taken only half a step towards Wes before he realized belatedly where he was. Buffy was lying there in a coma and he was about to pound her…newest friend to a bloody pulp. What was wrong with him?
"If you are, might I suggest something? I have no intention of taking your place nor does Buffy have any intentions of replacing you. I have only known her for a few weeks and have come to greatly appreciate and respect her. I care for her and Spike. Now it might seem beyond you at the moment but I can say rightfully that the Spike you knew and who he is today are two very different people. My only hope here is to be there for Buffy and Spike when they need me. I want to be their friend. I hope that I am. And you need to take a step back and re-evaluate what it is you think would be what Buffy wants. Do you think she'll want to see your disgust and derision? Do you think that she will be okay with the fact that you blame her for this? I think you are forgetting something here Mr. Giles. She may not wake up from this coma and if she does she might not be the same person she was before. She has to wake up to deal with the loss of her mother, her home, and the scorn and blame of her Watcher, a man whom she loves and respects. I don't think you understand that when she wakes all of this could destroy her and she will need everyone's support through this hard time."
Giles had begun to nod through the middle of Wesley's little speech and was still nodding as Wes came to an end. He wiped his hand on his pants leg and smiled.
"See that's where you're wrong Wesley. Spike is not a person; he is a vile evil vampire. He kills people because he can and there is not a thing you can say that will make me see any differently. This vampire you see as a person watched idly while Angelus tortured me and terrorized Buffy and her friends. He is nothing and the sooner Buffy remembers that the better. You and I are not alike in the fact that I have a Slayer and you do not. I know what it is I talk about. You have never been out of London or the Council's bosom and have no idea what it's like to be the moving force behind a Slayer. I am her Watcher. I took the chance and became more than that. I became her friend and she became a daughter and if you think I don't know what's best for her you are mistaken! I know that this will surely be difficult for her but she has to take responsibility for what has happened. She is to be held responsible for a part in this debacle. And if it hurts her feelings then that is just too bloody bad. I can't keep her hidden from this and wouldn't want to for that matter. Now don't ever presume to preach to me about what I should and shouldn't do in regards to my Slayer."
The silence that fell was thick with tension and repressed with so many emotions that Wes wondered why they both weren't choking on it and falling over from the pressure of it all.
Wes turned his eyes away first and it was then that he noticed. He took a step towards the bed her name falling from his lips in a shocked whisper.
"Buffy…"
Giles turned then too and his eyes widened behind his glasses as he looked at Buffy.
Her eyes were open.
Giles brushed past Wesley and reached for Buffy. Gripping her shoulders tightly as he stared into her eyes.
"Buffy? Can you hear me? Bu-" he cried out desperately as he tried to reach her.
Wes pulled Giles away from Buffy, as he feared Giles might harm Buffy more than was good.
"Get a doctor," Wes ordered as he moved Giles towards the door and took his place at Buffy's bedside.
Giles stared at him as if he couldn't comprehend a word of what Wes had said.
"Get a doctor!" Wes yelled as he watched as Buffy began to move and he dimly realized that she wasn't having a seizure but he wasn't exactly sure what was happening to her either. So they needed a doctor so they could find out what was happening to her.
Giles finally seemed to pull himself out of whatever hell he'd found himself in as he blinked and gave a curt nod.
He left the room at a run.
~*~
"I knew this was how it would be."
His statement was met with silence and it was as if he realized this was something she needed so he didn't press the issue. And for that she was grateful. As she wasn't sure what it was she wanted to say or what she could say. There were a number of things going on in her mind at the moment.
The least being how things would go from here. Who was to say how things would go? She didn't know what she was going to do. Her life as it had been was over with and there was no going back to that or anything that resembled that life. She wasn't ignorant to the fact that she was partly to blame for what had happened.
But she still couldn't get over the fact that she wasn't the only one who was at fault here.
With a sigh she hadn't wanted to give she turned from the window and glanced at the man standing at her side.
"Are you happy now, Angel?" she asked tiredly as she pressed the palms of her hands to the side of her head as if to keep it attached.
Angel looked over at her and with a small smile he reached for her. Letting his hands rest on her shoulders he intended to pull her to him. But she moved evading his touch and his offer of comfort.
"Yes I am happy Buffy. This is something I hoped for, something I prayed for. I wanted this more than you can imagine. I love you."
Buffy nodded.
This wasn't something new to her after all she was well aware of how much Angel loved her. In fact it was one of the things she liked most about him. His love for her was something she cherished. Something she enjoyed more than she should. After all it wasn't everyday you made a souled vampire fall in love with you was it?
She couldn't help but feel a little proud of that fact.
"You can't tell me you aren't happy Buffy," he said as he stared at her, his eyes searing into her as if trying to burn his happiness into her by sheer force of will.
Buffy finally removed her hands from the sides of her head and faced Angel. With something akin to desperation and resignation she allowed herself to meet his soulful eyes and speak.
"Yes. I am happy," she said her voice serene and even slightly cheerful. Was it a lie she wondered? Was she not happy?
He was still watching her and though she realized that it was important for her to make him feel as happy as she could, it couldn't just be her that made him happy. He had to be happy on his own, he had to be able to be okay by himself, and she had to be okay with that.
It was hard for her she supposed. Hard for her to let this all go. To let the grip he had on her go so that she could find a life with someone else.
But she couldn't do it. And because of that she knew she was weak, too weak to ever hurt Angel the way she was sure he was able and willing to hurt her. Perhaps it was that she held what they had, what he had given her, closer to her heart than he did.
She could not doubt that he loved her. He showed her in his small ways every chance he got, but the truth was he'd had little to no experience being human in more than two hundred years. He hadn't exposed himself to the humane side of life so that he would be able to understand all the things that went with being slightly less monstrous and more human.
Not that he wasn't trying mind you he was. Trying a little too hard would be more accurate.
"Let's go out," he said suddenly and roused her from her thoughts.
She didn't protest this and he seemed glad as he took her hand in his larger one and they headed for the door. This was a new thing that had been slightly startling. Angel's need to go out, to show the world that he loved her, loved her more now than ever.
Her broody vamp had turned himself into a man, something she hardly recognized as such, and something she wasn't sure he even knew himself.
The Bronze was packed and they were lucky to find a table. But they did find one in the back. Off to the side and in the shadows and though it had been one of Angel's favorites before it was not to his liking now. She saw him scowl and felt a brief wave of something she couldn't describe surge through her. She turned her gaze away not able to bear looking at him a moment longer.
"What do you want to drink?" he asked eagerly, ready and willing to do her biding. Anything she wanted, anything she needed he was there ready and happy to oblige her.
A cynical part of her brain couldn't help but notice that it had been Spike's interest in her that had asserted this new and improved Angel. So it could be said had it not been for Spike then Angel would not have given a second thought to leaving town and breaking her heart.
"A Coke," she murmured softly and when he reached for her hand and slid his over it she didn't flinch only smiled before he rose and left the table to get their drinks.
Her eyes slid to the crowded dance floor and for a brief time she allowed herself to get lost in the movements of the couples gyrating and grinding away.
A hand slid along the back of her neck, fingers sliding downward tracing small circles along her spine.
"All hearts and flowers then is it?" Spike asked as leaned over her shoulder his eyes on her face as she continued to stare at the crowd.
"What's your point?" she asked at last as she moved her neck to dislodge his fingers. But they didn't budge only stayed as she moved. Irritating her and exciting her all at the same time.
"Does there have to be one? Couldn't I just be commenting on a fact? Saying something that happens to be true? Or is it not true and you're just being defensive because you think I know that it's not true? Or that you know that I know that you know that I kno-"
She turned sharply to face him causing him to move back as she swung towards him. His fingers slipped away and he eyed her cautiously.
"What is this?" she hissed out as she gestured to him. "What are you doing here Spike? I thought this was something that we agreed on. Things are just too…" She trailed off as words failed her at the moment. What could she say that hadn't already been said?
Spike's jaw clenched and she could see the struggle he was going through as his eyes darkened and anger seemed to drip off of him.
"No," he replied his voice hard and cold, "you decided what we'd do about "us". I had no say. You didn't even discuss this with me. I think I have a say in this little relationship you've got goin' with Angelus. Seems he's the one you're thinking about these days. Is this really what you want?"
Buffy rose and with a small growl pushed past him and made her way towards the door. She had to get out of here, away from him and everything he represented.
"You can't run away from this Buffy. This isn't fair to me or to you. Just because you're afraid of hurting Angel doesn't mean you have to give up your happiness for him. Don't you think he might realize down the line that you aren't happy? That he doesn't make you happy? That the life you're trying to build is-"
"Enough!" Buffy snapped as she whirled around and shoved him backwards. "You know what I want?" she demanded.
She didn't give him a chance to speak as she pressed as close as she could and claimed his mouth with her own. She plundered his mouth, sucking on his bottom lip before she bit down hard enough for him to gasp out in pain. Only to groan as her tongue swept a path along the length of his bottom lip and slipped inside.
She reached up gripping the back of his head, her fingers skimming through it as she anchored his mouth to hers and she let her mouth and body do the talking for her.
" Buffy, please," Spike moaned as he managed to tear his mouth away from hers long enough to speak. He gripped her arms pulling her tighter to him. "We could leave right now. You, Tate, and me. We could just leave and get away from here, away from Angel. I know you don't love him. You can't love him. Not the way you love me."
"Stop it," she whispered shakily. She pulled out of his arms. "How are we going to do that? He'd never let me go. Not now. Not ever. Maybe before. But now it's impossible for me to be away from him Spike. Maybe it would be better if you left and took Tate with you. It would be easier all around. You could go somewhere new, find someone new to love and be with. I haven't got it in me to-"
"You're talking nonsense," he retorted harshly.
Her laughter was filled with nothing resembling humor.
"Is this nonsense?" she asked shrilly as she gestured downwards.
They both turned their eyes downwards to her protruding belly and the thing--the baby that was separating them. Not only physically but emotionally as well.
"And the baby of course would come along," he added through gritted teeth.
"See? You couldn't even say it and mean it. There's no hope for us Spike and there never was. I don't know why I thought there could be. Just let me go. Let me go."
Spike lifted shaking hands and rubbed them furiously over his face.
"I can't. I don't know how. I will never let you go. I don't care whose baby that is. It could be mine, it could be his but the only thing I know is that it's a part of you and I'll love it. No matter what. Li-"
Buffy turned away from him.
"What is this?" she asked sharply. "I want out of this! Why are you doing this?!"
Spike frowned not understanding whom she was talking to.
"What? Whom are you talking to Buffy?" he asked suspiciously.
"No need to yell. I can hear you just fine," her mother's voice came from behind her and behind Spike.
Buffy moved past Spike to glare at Joyce.
"Why are you showing me this? What is the point of this? You know the only thing this is doing is making me feel worse. Worse than I ever could! What is this supposed to show me?"
Joyce sighed.
"What did you want me to show you, honey?" she asked quietly.
Buffy rolled her eyes unable to resist the urge. She moved away from Joyce and crossed her arms over her chest. Paced away from her mother and tried to make sense of all this.
"Is this heaven? Well all I can say is if this is heaven then show me hell because it has to be better than this! It has to be. I can't believe you thought this was what I wanted. I never--"
"That's enough Buffy. I am only showing you what could happen. What very well could happen. There's a chance that this," Joyce waved her arms around, "could happen. You could be forced to choose and Angel would be your choice. I think what you need to do is think why that is."
Buffy nodded.
"Because you say so?" she asked her voice scathing.
Joyce stood straighter and moved closer to Buffy.
"I am your mother. You will do as I say. I-"
"My mother is dead! She's dead and I don't know what this is but you-- I know you aren't her and this will not happen. I won't allow this to happen. I can not let this happen."
Joyce smiled sadly.
"You think you can stop what is already happening? It's fate Buffy. I died because it's what was supposed to happen. You're in a coma because this is where you needed to be so that you could see. You need to see. Open your eyes and see!"
"What?!" Buffy yelled. "What do you want me to see? I see that I'm pregnant and that I'm with Angel. I see that it's tearing Spike apart and that I'm not happy either. I see that this is the only thing I could think of that would make things easier. If Spike would leave then it would be a lot easier. I could try and be happy. What do you want me to see because obviously it's not getting through to me!"
"This isn't working," Joyce muttered. She reached out and grabbed Buffy's arm. "This isn't a glimpse for the mere purpose of making you angry Buffy. There's something here you have to see. Something I can't tell you, something you have to see for yourself. There are things at work here that you need to be prepared for."
"Like what?" Buffy demanded. She wasn't any closer to understanding this little glimpse than before. She had been put in the middle of something she didn't understand. Something she never wanted to understand.
And here was this woman who looked amazingly like her mother, someone she could not believe was actually her mother. Showing her things that she didn't understand and would not let herself understand.
"Please Buffy you have to promise me something--wait not yet! Not yet she can't go yet. This wasn't how this was supposed to go! Please no, no, no, no, no--"
Buffy backed away as terror made its way around her. She lifted her arms and when pain raked through her she screamed.
"No you can't have her back yet. I won't let you," Joyce screamed.
But Buffy didn't hear her as darkness fell over her vision and she slid into oblivion.
~*~
"You are soooo not butch at all. You're like um… You are like Xena but hotter and minus Gabrielle. An amazon-"
"Please leave your praise at the door and shut the hell up," Faith snapped as they entered the hospital.
Andrew clamped his mouth shut and nodded vigorously.
He slid his gaze around and took in all the activity while Faith strode towards the admit desk and gave the nurse sitting behind the desk a grin.
"I'd like you to page Dr. Grant. Tell him to meet me in room 230, I think there's something he needs to see."
While the nurse stared at her suspiciously and reluctantly did what Faith had asked Faith gave her a nod of thanks before she tightened her grip on her prisoner and made her way to the elevator.
"I can't believe you're just walking along like you don't have this guy by the throat. Like you don't give a rats-"
"Do I have to say this again? Be quiet?" she asked as she stepped into the elevator and glared at Andrew.
"No. I um…I get it. Let me um…shut up now. Okay?"
"Good. I've got enough on my mind without your crap. This here doctor better take care of Buffy or else!"
She glared at the thin man she held in her grasp. She tightened her grip on the man as he gulped and shuddered.
"I told you I'd have to see for myself what is wrong with your friend."
"And you will fix her. Thought you could sneak away and run off to la la land and no one would give a damn? Well guess again."
They left the elevator and Faith dragged the scientist behind her as she walked towards Buffy's room. Only to pause and falter as she spotted Giles and Wes hovering at her closed door.
"What's going on?" she demanded as she hurried her steps.
Wes turned and stared.
Giles kept his gaze glued to the closed door.
"What--who is that you've got there?" Wes asked worriedly.
"Never mind what's wrong with Buffy? Is she dead?" Faith asked fearfully.
"She's…well um... She opened her eyes earlier and they're in there examining her. So far as we can tell there's nothing wrong with her or worse with her for that matter."
Faith swallowed hard.
"Here," she thrust the man into Wesley. "He should be able to help. He works for the Initiative. He's a doctor and I think he could help," she couldn't help but repeat.
Shoving her hands into her pockets Faith balanced on the balls of her feet as Wes shook his head and his eyes narrowed in confusion.
"How did you find him?" Giles asked at last.
"Oh, well we just did a little hunting. Sniffed out his trail and when we found him we kicked a lit-" Andrew began excitedly.
Buffy's door opened and Dr. Grant stepped out.
"Mr. Giles," he started interrupting Andrew.
"This man should be able to help you fix what's wrong with Buffy," Wes interrupted as he shoved the man forward.
The doctor stared for a moment.
"And this would be?" Dr. Grant asked carefully.
"Our best hope," Faith replied grimly.
"I'm Dr. Steven Zieler and I think I may be able to help," he replied and when Wes jabbed him in the back he offered his hand.
Dr. Grant looked at them all for a moment before he took the hand and shook it.
"Come with me. If you can help us understand what's going on with Ms. Summers then I'd gladly take all the help I can get."
With that said the doctor began to walk away.
"If you don't mind I would like to go along," Wesley said.
Dr. Grant turned back with a frown.
"Excuse me? That's highly irregular and--"
"And a young woman's life is on the line. You and I want the same thing. For Buffy to get better. So shall we?"
Having said that Wesley took Dr. Zieler's arm and hurried him forward. Dr. Grant reluctantly following.
Giles stepped into Buffy's room as the nurse strode out.
"Do you think your doctor can fix Buffy?" Giles asked.
Faith shrugged.
"I honestly don't know."
~*~
It was two days later when in the middle of the afternoon Dr. Grant came back with Wes and Dr. Zieler in tow. With an antidote or so they hoped. Once the nurse had inserted it into Buffy's IV all they could do was what they'd been doing for days.
Wait.
And they waited and waited and with each passing hour their hope left them.
And with each passing minute Angel became certain that the only option left was for him to actually turn her. He had to wait until the sun went down before he could reach the hospital. Before he could do what needed to be done.
He arrived eager to get started on this new journey with Buffy at his side. He hurried down the hall and took a deep breath as he paused outside of her closed door.
He could do this.
He would do this.
He wanted to do this.
His hand closed around the doorknob and he slowly pushed open the door and stepped into her room.
His steps faltered as he spotted the empty bed and he felt his stomach clench and his body begin to tremble.
"No…" he whispered in anguish.
"I suppose I shouldn't bother but I don't guess you'd be willing to tell me where Wesley is?"
Angel spun to face the adjoining bathroom and his mouth opened in shock as Buffy strode out.
He expected her to be looking at him but she wasn't she was staring behind her and for a awful moment Angel suspected Spike had come back for Buffy.
But it didn't seem like she was talking to Spike, he thought.
She was nodding.
"Well I gave it a shot. I can't stay here a minute longer, so whether I find Wes or not I have to get out of here. And don't tell me I have no place to go. I already know that," Buffy said sharply.
Slowly Angel closed his mouth. Shook his head and bit his bottom lip as he tried to dispute what it was he was seeing.
Buffy was awake and that was great but it seemed she'd woken up rather insane, he thought dazedly.
"Buff…?" he asked hesitantly.
Buffy turned to Angel with a look of mild annoyance on her face. She stepped fully into the room and the grim look on her face had him stiffening.
"Now this could just be me but what do you see Angel?" she asked as she gestured behind her. "Come out here so he can see you."
Angel was more nervous than he'd ever been before. What was going on here? Who had Buffy been talking to? Why did she look so grim and resigned? What had this coma done to her?
His thoughts came to a halt as nothing came out behind Buffy.
"So by the look on your face I can see this is all me. I'm crazy and seeing dead people. This is my life and I've got to find Wesley!" With that she hurried to the door.
Angel grabbed her arm.
"I don't even garner a hello?" he asked sharply.
Buffy paused long enough to shake her head.
"I have to find Wes," she muttered in response.
Angel shook his head as anger began to form.
"Why?" he asked angrily as he shook her slightly.
Buffy jerked out of his grasp and with a slightly disgusted look his way shook her head.
"So he can tell me where Spike is," was all she said as she moved out of the door and down the hall.
"That went rather well."
Buffy turned to look at her mother's form.
"Is that sarcasm? I didn't know ghosts could do that," she mocked with a smile. "Why are you haunting me?"
"Am I? I am here to help you Buffy. I told you that already."
"Help me with what? I don't need any help."
Joyce merely grinned.
"A child always needs a mother's advice no matter who they are or how old they are. You have things you need to see and understand and there's no one who will keep me from seeing this through Buffy. Maggie Walsh killed me and I'll be damned if I see the same thing happen to you!"
Buffy could find nothing to say to that and so she remained silent as she went in search for Wes and perhaps some answers.