Because Of You, a degrassi fanfic

Disclaimer- I do NOT own Degrassi/characters or the song it self.

PG- Emma Nelson of what she felt after the shooting and almost getting shot takes after "Time Stand Still, and "Back in Black", parts of "Secrets"

Sean & Emma, Jay, Emma.

Song Title from Kelly Clarkson new CD "Breakaway"

"Because Of You"

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself
Cause my heart so much misery
I will not break the way you did,
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way
To never let it get that far

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I find it hard to trust not only me, but everyone around me
Because of you
I am afraid

I lose my way
And it's not too long before you point it out
I cannot cry
Because you know that's weakness in your eyes
I'm forced to fake
A smile, a laugh everyday of my life
My heart can't possibly break
When it wasn't even whole to start with

I watched you die
I heard you cry every night in your sleep
I was so young
You should have known better than to lean on me
You never thought of anyone else
You just saw your pain
And now I cry in the middle of the night
For the same damn thing

Because of you
I never stray too far from the sidewalk
Because of you
I learned to play on the safe side so I don't get hurt
Because of you
I try my hardest just to forget everything
Because of you
I don't know how to let anyone else in
Because of you
I'm ashamed of my life because it's empty
Because of you
I am afraid

Because of you
Because of you

I cry at night seeing that image of you dying in front of me. That after the accident, I couldn't be worth of anything anymore, the only person that helped me through this was Jay, he understood the pain that showed me a different path in my life, sure it was only for pure pleasure for him and I. The only person that I miss and love is Sean, but he went away for now I don't know where I'm headed if it's a different path. But one day I'll find my own way back but right now I don't know where I stand. The image in my head of you dying made me afraid to look at anything important. Seeing you die made me different inside that I can't see where I'm headed because of you and what you did I'm afraid of going back to that place where I was responsible for everything that I did. What you did almost did to me, made me different I can't feel the tomorrow, because of you I see myself dying inside. I can't live inside my skin anymore, I can't be the person I was before the one that I thought I took the right turn before the shooting but I guess things never change in a person that you can't control. Going back, meaning I have to live inside my old skin again, but because of you and what you did I almost died because of you I stand waiting for my love to return, seeing himself saving me that day, he went away from me because of you, I can't forgive you for what you did and because of you I'm afraid of going back, to the place where I was before.