Somehow, between her work for the Ghostbloods, her duties as a Radiant, and her relationship with Adolin, Shallan had managed to carve out a little time for herself. Safe in her room, she could draw out Memories she'd recently taken, and perhaps even do a little studying.
Such a thing could not be allowed, of course. Her pencil had barely brushed her sketchpad when there was a knock on her door.
Maybe, she pondered, if I just don't respond, they'll leave me alone.
A few strokes of her pencil, and the knocking resumed, more frantic and insistent.
With an angry grunt Shallan rose from her seat, stomped over to the door, and opened it fully ready to shout at whoever was on the other end.
The epithets she'd had in mind died on her tongue when it turned out to be King Elhokar at the door. He was looking at the floor, and though he was clearly doing his best to emulate that typical Alethi stoicness, she could read nervousness in his pale green eyes. "Brightness Shallan, may I speak to you about something? Privately?"
Not about to refuse a king, she nodded her head, moving aside so that Elhokar could enter. Shutting the door behind him, Shallan watched as he started pacing back and forth in her bedroom, gaze flicking to a mirror hanging on her wall for just a second.
Shallan was at a loss of what to say. Not only was he, at least technically, a king, but Elhokar wasn't someone she knew well at all. Adolin (mostly) seemed to like his cousin, but Elhokar had a rather poor reputation, as a ruler and as a person.
Not due to cruelty, or callousness, but just for...weakness. None of his uncle's strength was in his arms, his spine, or his step. At least, not as far as Shallan or anyone else could see.
Which, honestly, was kind of fine. After all...who was she to complain about other people being struggling under the weight they'd been burdened with?
Eventually, though, Shallan had to say something. It wasn't like she could just go back to sketching with Elhokar there. "...Your Majesty? What is your question, exactly?"
"Someone was telling me about how it was you formed your Radiant bond with your spren." That is a statement, not a question. "There was something about drawing symbol-headed creatures in your sketchbook." He waved a hand at the one she had with her, but didn't look in her direction, still pacing. "Do you think you could draw them for me?"
Immediately, Shallan had an inkling as to where this was going, but patiently drew out a quick sketch of a Cryptic, while telling the king, "Please be aware it's been some time since I saw Pattern or any of his kind in their true forms, so this will likely be more stylized than accurate."
The second it was done and proffered to Elhokar, he took it, looking at it with a fear in his eyes. A paranoia, in fact, that Shallan could immediately recognize from her own experience. "And they followed you around?"
"Yes. Much like the ones following you."
For a moment, it almost looked like he would accept the comment. But then Elhokar turned to look at Shallan, pale green eyes wide. "W-what?"
She shrugged. "Well, you took an interest in them, enough to come and talk to me. You keep looking at my mirror. It wasn't difficult to put together, once I had the clues." She didn't say out loud the final hint: Elhokar's well known paranoia. After all...how on-edge had Shallan been, running around and drawing the strange creatures she couldn't see? How much worse would it have gotten, if she hadn't gotten answers as quickly as she had?
It seemed to take a second for Elhokar to calm himself down, at which point he openly looked at the reflective surface. "...you're right. I've seen them for more than a year now. Are they following me because...they think I could be a Radiant?"
"As far as I'm aware, that seems to be the only reason Cryptics attach themselves to a person."
Pattern spoke up from the wall, making Elhokar jump. "Mmm...many lies around you...I can see why they are considering a bond."
It almost looked like Elhokar was going to argue about the lies part, but then he just deflated. Just as well. If the Cryptics are interested, it means he is lying, about a lot of things. Shallan couldn't help being curious as to exactly what.
"..." Shallan watched as Elhokar looked into her mirror, and visibly made himself stand up straighter. "Life before death. Strength before weakness. Journey before destination."
There wasn't any visible difference, at least none Shallan's eyes could see, but Pattern started humming. "Mmm...interesting."
Reaching into her bag, Shallan pulled out a pouch of infused spheres, and tossed it to Elhokar, who caught it, barely. "Okay, Radiant. Show me what you can do."
He looked inside the pouch, and hesitantly drew in a breath. Moving a little sluggishly at first, the Light finally began pulling away from the gemstones in the spheres, moving through the air and into Elhokar.
The Stormlight started to rise from his skin, and Shallan found herself smiling. This would make him the second Lightweaver in Urithiru, the second member of...'her' order? That felt weird to think about.
Turning her back to him, Shallan told him, "Congratulations, Your Majesty. I still need to finish some of these sketches, but when I'm done we can work on some of the basics of Lightweaving." Just that, of course. Soulcasting was still tricky for Shallan. She'd hate to get the king of Alethkar killed by a dip into Shadesmar.
She'd almost finished the one she had started on originally when Elhokar interrupted her. "Um...Shallan?" No Brightness before it, that was odd. And...did he sound scared? Shallan turned around, and was stunned at what she saw. "What's going on?"
The person standing there wasn't Elhokar. Or...well, that wasn't quite right. The eyes were the right shade, the hair just as black, same height, same general build. The only thing that was wrong were...well...the breasts on the person's chest.
Okay, that wasn't the only difference, but it was what stood out. The features were just softer in general, and this person's hips were a bit wider, their shoulders more narrow.
Shallan smiled. "Oh, don't worry too much, Your Majesty. You're just Lightweaving." I have to sketch to get mine to work, but I suppose there's no reason all of us need that restriction. "It should run out quickly when the Stormlight does."
That didn't seem to calm Elhokar down like she expected it would. Instead, he started...feeling himself. In places men usually weren't supposed to touch, especially in front of a lady. But wait...his clothing was moving as he touched it. Were his illusions that good? Incredible. "Brightness Shallan?" Elhokar asked, even his voice sounding higher pitched than it normally did. "I don't think this is an illusion."
Now Shallan was starting to get confused. "What do you mean? Why not?"
"Well...can you normally feel illusions? Do they feel real?"
Before Shallan could answer, Pattern spoke up again. "This...is not a lie."
Elhokar looked at the spren. "W-what do you mean it's not a lie? Brightness Shallan, what does it mean?"
At first, Shallan wasn't sure. But then, something she'd read in Words of Radiance came back to her, and she gasped, looking at Elhokar in a new light. "...in the records, it was said that the Radiants could heal themselves with Stormlight."
Stomping a foot, Elhokar replied, "Yes, I'm aware, I've heard all about that, but what does it have to do with me growing...?" Rather than saying the word, Elhokar just gestured at the offending chest.
"It isn't only from damage, Elhokar. Renarin had poor vision, as well as epilepsy, but becoming a Radiant healed those conditions. There are records detailing other sorts of...ailments, ones that could be cured by becoming a Radiant." Might as well just come out and say it. "It was even specifically mentioned that transgender Knights Radiant found their bodies changing to conform to their ideal self." Though of course writers of that time phrased it in...less flattering terms. Transphobic assholes...
Shallan expected Elhokar to ask what 'transgender' meant, or scramble to deny it. Instead...Elhokar just sighed. "You're...remarkably well informed."
After considering it, Shallan decided not to find that insulting. "I'm a scholar, Your Majesty, in addition to being a Radiant." Plus, gay recongizes gay.
Running a hand through...well, her hair, Elhokar looked conflicted. A fairly standard expression for Elhokar, though it looked strangely more wise on her altered face. "Is there a way to...change me back? Or use Lightweaving to make me appear..." She left the statement unfinished, as if unsure how to refer to the way she'd looked her entire life before becoming a Radiant.
Wincing, Shallan gave advice even as she felt unqualified to share it. "There's no way I've ever heard of to reverse the healing of a Radiant, and even if you could develop your Lightweaving abilities enough to create an illusion for others..." Am I really about to say this? Me? "...I don't think that would be...healthy. Elhokar, you've been pretending to be a man your entire life. This allows you an easy way to show everyone who you really are."
Elhokar laughed, and there was something profoundly self-mocking and uncomfortable about the sound. "Do you really think anyone would take me seriously if they found out what I am?"
I don't know how to tell you this Brightness, but no one takes you seriously now. "Elhokar, we are in a Desolation. The Everstorm crosses the world, parshman have turned into an army for the enemy, and the Knights Radiant have returned. I don't think you being a woman is particularly newsworthy at this point."
It was, to be fair, an oversimplification. Vorin countries, particularly Alethkar, had less than stellar records in how they treated transgender people, even the ones with light eyes. But Shallan also thought she had a real point. After all, Dalinar was saying the Almighty was dead, and had disobeyed the ardentia by marrying his sister-in-law. Was there blowback from that? Yes. Was he being deposed? Not anytime soon.
Her words seemed to calm Elhokar down a little, and Shallan walked over to sit down on her bed next to the other girl. "I...suppose you are correct." Elhokar laughed again, but this time it sounded a little less manic. "Might as well say it outloud myself: I'm a girl, and I always have been."
Neither of them were expecting Elhokar to suddenly glow with Stormlight again, and for a voice similar to Pattern's to warble up from the bed near Elhokar. "This is...mmm...a good truth."
Neither really knew what to say after that, so Shallan asked, "If you don't mind, is there another name you'd want to be called? Elhokar feels...a bit masculine."
Still looking at the pattern of her own Cryptic, Elhokar replied, "My wife sometimes called me Kari? I...kind of like that."
"Well then, Kari. I think it would be a good idea for me to go find your uncle so you can explain this all to him, to start with." Kari grunted in response, leaving Shallan to exit her room, and start considering just what this would all mean.
Kari would need to follow a different set of Vorin standards now. The fact she'd never been particularly good at fighting wouldn't matter anymore, but she had to learn how to read and write. In fact, years of missed education would need to be made up for. She'd be served sweet foods instead of the spicy things she'd gotten before, and...
...and there was now the question of the crown itself. Elhokar had only reigned as king because people thought she was the oldest male heir, but...as a woman, Jasnah would then take priority. Would that not matter, because Kari already sat on the proverbial throne? Or would she be asked to abdicate for her big sister?
It was going to be a lot, and Shallan felt just a bit of sympathetic nervousness for Kari. But after leading Dalinar and Navani to speak with Kari, Shallan found herself envying the familial warmth on display. Navani gently rebuked her daughter for not telling her about this sooner, Dalinar looked very taken aback by the entire thing, but...there were a lot of hugs. And tears. And smiles.
Coming out as a woman wasn't going to be easy for Kari, regardless of what being a Radiant did for her. But she had people who loved her, there to support her every step of the way.
And who knew? Maybe Queen Kari would be a better ruler, and a better person, than 'King Elhokar' had ever been.