Chapter 7

Snape sat in the Great Hall until the very last minute in the hopes that he would be able to avoid his damned assistant. How anyone could stand being that annoying was beyond him, but there was no way he was going to bend over and give her what she wanted. No one forced him to do anything he didn't want to do. No one. And, if anyone attempted to refute that by stating his association with Voldemort, he'd hex them into the next world. If it were even possible to hex someone that far. He certainly hoped it was possible. Then, maybe he could hex Sarah away and leave himself in peace.

As he slowly made his way out of the Great Hall and down the halls to his classroom, he glared at any teacher he came across and docked house points from any student for being late to class. This, of course, made him feel marginally better. And, an evil grin spread across his face as he neared his classroom to hear laughter. That wasn't going to last for long and he was sure he would be able to dock more points once he entered the room. The thought caused a rush of satisfaction as he reached out to open the door. It rather seemed that he hadn't quite learned yet.

He stormed into the potions classroom, the door banging against the wall as he did so. His mouth open and ready to start scolding his students when he froze and the air left his lungs in a great whoosh!

His classroom was... pink. And not just any pink. That bright nauseating pink. (AN: Think Barbie pink, birthday pink, and Pepto Bismol pink all came together and had a bastard child. Yeah.. That kind of pink. You know, the one that gives you a headache just glancing at it, let alone looking at it for any great length of time? Yep. That one.. ::Shudder::) There were pink cushions on the stools to ensure comfort. Pink swathes of cloth draped the walls, the classroom gleamed spotlessly and there were large windows on one wall with sheer pink curtains framing them. There were even flowers on the desks. In pink crystal vases.

Suddenly realizing that he had to breathe, the shocked potions master took a deep breath and almost gagged. What the hell? He looked around and finally noticed several small caldrons set around the room, each emanating soft pink or lavender wisps of smoke. Incense caldrons! That wreaked of roses and lavender! But, what really took the cake, was his desk. It was pink. The ink wells were pink, as were the parchment, quills, and paper weights. Even the ink was a dark pink so as to show up on the papers. Unable to speak, he emitted a chocking noise from his throat.

"Ooh, Seviesugar-poopsipoo! I just knew you would like it! And, it looks soooo much better this way, don't you think, my sweet curly hinky punk leg hairs..?" Sarah squealed as she gave him a huge hug, bouncing in the process. Before he could even glare at her, she continued. "I have to go to the little witch's room, right now," she stated sweetly. Then, in a loud stage whisper, "It's my menstrual cycle! Be back soon! Love ya, buh-bye!" With that, she darted out of the classroom and was up three flights of stairs and starting on her fourth, which is quite a feat when you're wearing 3 inch spiked stilettos on stone work floors, when it was heard.

Snape had done the only thing he could think of to do... He'd screamed bloody murder in the form of a really, really loud roar. Eeping slightly, Sarah sped up and rounded a corner, and promptly knocked herself and someone else to the floor. "Oh! Sorry!"

Mariah laughed slightly and shook her head as she climbed to her feet, helping Sarah up in the process. "I heard the scream. Potions?"

Sarah grinned. "Yep. And the pink."

"Barbie?"

"Barbie, birthday, and medicinal."

"Ooh, you play dirty."

"Don't I know it. I feel kind of bad for the students that are still in the classroom, though... They have to deal with him for the next two hours."

Mariah sniggered. "So, do you think this will sway him completely?" she asked, starting down the hall towards the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom.

"Well, if this doesn't annoy him into action, the little surprise I have in store for him will push him pretty damned close," Sarah cackled, walking with her friend. She wasn't exactly eager to get back to the potions classroom at the moment.

Before Mariah could as what the surprise was, another very loud and tortured yell rang through the halls. "And, I think he just found it," the red head smirked evilly.

"What's the surprise?"

"Oh, nothing much. Just a little charm on all the decorations... If he tries to remove them before not only agreeing to take us to where ever to get some clothes, but to speak to the headmaster as well, the pink and potions will spread. And will do so every time he or anyone else, other than Dumbledore and the house elves, tries to remove them. Nifty, huh?"

Mariah raised a brow and gave her a piercing look. "You do know that my rooms are totally of limits, right?"

"Duh."

"Okay.. What about your rooms?"

"Heh," she cackled again, rubbing her hands together. "I'm smart, see? My rooms are completely protected as is everything that isn't Slytherin territory. So, it will spread to his rooms, private lab, office, parts of the dungeons, and the Slytherin dorms."

"Well, if he's anything like you, you had better pray he'll break by the end of the week."

"Don't remind me.. And, he's the one that wants to play it hard, not me. Besides, it's not that bad, is it.. It's just pink. Right? Riiiiiight?" Sarah asked as they wondered down the hall and disappeared around a corner. "You don't think the Slytherins will mind if their dorms get turned pink, do you?" Mariah's laugh was the only response she got.

The rest of the day passed fairly uneventfully. Just Sarah sighing and cooing at Snape, students laughing and sniggering at their potions professor, and Snape seconds away from a mental breakdown. And that was just Tuesday. There was still four days left in the week. Many just hoped that Hogwarts would still be standing by Saturday evening. Really, things couldn't possibly get that bad, right? Right? Helloooo?

:::ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ:::

Wednesday dawned brightly for Hogwarts. Snape was up earlier than usual because of a paranoia that had quickly developed the past two days about what Sarah was going to pull next. The girl was completely out of line and he couldn't predict her movements and ideas before hand and it bothered him to no end. How was he supposed to get anything accomplished if she wouldn't develop a pattern.

Suddenly realizing that he was pacing, the ebony haired wizard stopped and stiffened. "This is ridiculous," he muttered, sitting gracefully in a chair. "She's just a muggle. In a school of magic. There is no way she could possibly cause this much damage. She's just a muggle." This quickly became his mantra as he prepared for the day ahead.

As per usual, Sarah pranced into the Great Hall, looking as nauseatingly cute as ever in her school girl uniform and pig tails. She skipped up to the head table and sat next to Snape and smiled blindingly at him.

"Good morning, my Sevipoo-schnookiecookie! You look absolutely wonderful!" she cooed, leaning close and sighing.

Snape closed his eyes and took a deep breath in an attempt to control the sudden need to strangle the red head. Not responding, he went back to sipping his tea and munching on some toast.

Not to be deterred, Sarah giggled in the disgustingly cute nasally way and squealed. "I have another present for you! It's shampoo and conditioner! Specifically formulated for people with high amounts of oil and grease build up in their hair! And it smells like cloves and spices! And, you'll never run out!" (AN: There is a reason why it actually smells good. The shampoo and conditioner will be playing a role in the story at some point in the future, so I had to have it actually smell good. A small sympathy for the snarky potions guy, yeah?)

Ignoring the laughter coming from the other professors and the students, Sarah giggled again and gave Snape a good solid glomp before saying, "Now, I'm going to go prepare the classroom for the next potions class, so you just stay here and finish your breakfast, okay my cuddly wuddly nuzzle bear? Good! Love ya, buh bye!" With that, she was thrust the hair products into his hands and was gone, leaving behind a hall of sniggering students and a fuming potions master. Snape's reputation was never going to survive the week.

The rest of the day past with Sarah cooing at him and calling him anything from 'Snuggle butt' to potions ingredients turned into endearments. By the end of the day, Snape was fast reaching the end of his rope and Sarah was about ready to scream out her frustrations.

"Damnit, Mariah! Three days! THREE DAYS! He wasn't supposed to last ONE!" Sarah yelled as she paced around the Ravenclaw's room. "What the hell am I supposed to do now?! I'm running out of ideas!"

Mariah simply shook her head and continued reading her book. "Sarah, you're a Slytherin for a reason. They don't just give up when hitting a brick wall. They find a more under handed method to get around the wall."

Stopping her pacing, the potions apprentice eyed her friend in contemplation. "So, instead of trying to get around the wall, I should just bust it down?" she demanded, tapping her foot.

"Nope. That is a Gryffendor tendency. And, much of what you have been doing is what many Gryffendors would do." The raven haired girl sighed and shook her head, not looking up from her book. "Start thinking like a Slytherin." she advised as she hummed a Disney song under her breath.

A light flickered in Sarah's golden eyes before she headed for the door. "I need to talk to the Weasley twins.." she muttered as she opened the door. "They're going to help me get under that brick wall other wise known as Severus Snape." Stopping suddenly, she said, "That wasn't supposed to sound like that. Not that I would mind, though. But, yeah. You know what I mean. Bye!" She ran out the door.

"Good luck!" Mariah called as the door started to close.

Before it did, Sarah stuck her head back in the room, saying, "I'm going to be needing help from the seventh year Ravenclaws, okay?"

"No problem."

"Thanks!"

"Uh huh."

There was a pause before Sarah said, "Hooker!" and ran out of the Ravenclaw common room. Mariah just laughed and shook her head.

Thursday morning came around, slightly over cast, but sun breaking through the clouds. Sucking up his patience, and a large amount of courage, Severus Snape headed to the Great Hall for breakfast. It had been three days since the torments had started. Three days since Sarah had started her siege against him for some clothes. In the deep, black recesses of his mind, Severus knew that she had every right to be angry and frustrated. Though, you would never catch him admitting to that, not even to himself. Big surprise.

Breakfast passed rather uneventfully, with Sarah never showing up in her skippy, bouncing way, squealing and sighing as she did so. Giving a huge sigh of relief, Severus dug in to some eggs and toast with relish. The girl had finally given up. Hah. That would teach her to try and get her way when dealing with Snape. HAH!

Many of the students were discussing this most recent turn of events, none noticing that there were one or two students missing, along with Sarah.

"So, do you think she finally gave up?"

"Well, even if she did, you have to give her credit for the amount of effort she put in to get her way."

"What do you suppose she was trying to get, anyway?"

So the conversation continued, boosting Snape's mood even more as breakfast continued with no signs of Sarah. Cackling to himself, Snape decided to loiter a bit longer than usual in the hall, taking pride in the slight disappointment that sounded amongst the students who were saddened that Sarah's antics seemed to be over. Especially some of the sixth and seventh year boys who liked seeing the red head in her short skirts and tight tops.

Once breakfast was finished, the potions professor headed towards his classroom, a slight bounce in his step. There were several opportunities to improve his mood in the form of students that were late for class. He took advantage of each and every opportunity and docked house points right and left.

His mood was only slightly diminished once he reached his classroom to see that all the pink was still there. All well. He would speak with the house elves about removing it later. For now, he could bear teaching in a pink classroom one more day. Just to prove that he could and would stand tall over her petty torments. He conveniently forgot about bellowing in rage when he found out that the pink would spread every time he attempted to remove it and that he personal lab was pink and parts of his personal quarters were glaring pink, as well.

Class started, and still no sign of Sarah. 'Perhaps she is to ashamed to face me after being trounced by my patience,' he thought to himself with an evil laugh that turned into a soft chuckle. He choked on the chuckle when the door to his classroom burst open to reveal Sarah in all her nauseatingly cute glory with her hands behind her back.

Grinning widely, Sarah sauntered into the classroom, winking at Snape when he chocked slightly. Still standing at the back of the class, she nodded her head and three more people came into the classroom, causing much laughter. Along with Sarah, who was still dressed as a school girl, stood Fred and George Weasely and Lee Jordan. All of whom were dressed like Sarah, hair, make up, and all, with green and silver pompoms in their hands. Sarah dropped her hands to her sides to show that she had pompoms as well.

Snape could only stare at his assistant, ignoring the thought that she looked rather fetching in the short skirt that had been lingering in the back of his mind since this whole thing began. 'Why hasn't she given up?!' he yelled to himself. 'She can't possibly be this stubborn!' What happened next was going to go down in Hogwarts history till the end of time.

Nodding, Sarah and the three boys took their positions in a line at the back of the classroom, each taking a deep breath before chanting, dancing around, waving their pompoms, and kicking their legs into the air. "Once there was a snake, slithering 'cross a log! Rooting for the other team, had no sense at all. He fell into the water, and bumped his little head! And when he got back up, this is what he said: Go, go go! Go mighty Slytherin! Fight, fight fight! Fight mighty Slytherin! Win, win win! Win mighty Slytherin! GO! FIGHT! WIN!" They cheered and laughed and jumped around, causing all the students to laugh and clap at their antics.

This moment would be written in Hogwarts: A History. A trophy would be placed in the trophy room. And all would pass the story on until the end of Hogwarts, so all would know what had transpired. Not because it had finally swayed Snape. Oh, no. But because it had caused such mortification in the potions master that the man actually passed out. Passed out, not fainted. Though, everyone would say he fainted, only to get him riled up when the story was retold over and over again.

Seeing Severus slump to the floor, Sarah dropped her pompoms and ran to his side to make sure he was all right. After making sure he was fine, just unconscious, the red head moved back to the back of the classroom and picked up her pompoms.

"Would one of you please wake him up? Just, make sure you stand back, okay?" she asked, winking at the students.

Braving the wrath of the potions master, one of the Hufflepuffs waved his wand and stammered out "Enervate," while laughing hysterically.

Waking up, Snape stared at the ceiling for several moments before realizing that he was on the floor. Standing, he glared around the classroom, his eyes settling on Sarah and the three Gryffendor boys that were dressed as girls. Refusing to comment on anything that happened, the ebony haired wizard began his lessons for the day. Through out the lessons, he was continuously interrupted by Sarah and the boys with stupid cheers and such. But, he absolutely refused to acknowledge them and their antics. So, they just followed him around the school, doing cheers and praising Snape and Slytherin and causing all who saw and heard them to laugh. Except the Slytherins. They found no humor in this and were now plotting revenge against the fiery red head.

And so ended Thursday. A day that would live in infamy. And would sit right up there at the top of the list that was Snape's worst memories. Mwahaha.. Sarah just hoped that he would crack and give in by Friday evening. She still had one more trick up her sleeve. And it really should be the clincher. She hoped.

:::ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ:::

I am soooo sorry this has taken so long to get out! I lost my funny muse and stuff and I had to find the stupid thing again.. (Listening to Eiffel 65 really helps, by the way.) Yeah. So, I give you a new chapter, now! Please read and review, like always, and stuff. I'll love you forever and give you sugar coated... Dracos and Harrys! Only $9.95 while supplies lasts! So, review and get a discount! One free sugar covered Harry or Draco, your choice on which, for a single review! And, a once in a chapter offer! Review now, and you get two for FREE! That's right! One each of the sugar coated Dracos and Harrys for a review! And, I'll even throw in a bottle of chocolate syrup! But, you have to review now! Right NOW! So, just click that little button at the bottom that says 'Review' and you'll have what you always dreamed of! (I'd offer Snape or Lucius, but they're taken. Sorry!)

Also, if anyone would like a character to make a cameo at some point in the story, please give the name, house, and brief description of said character and I'll put them in the story! It may also be a shop keeper or something in Hogsmeade or an extra teacher or something! Whoo!

Oh! And thank you soooo muuuuuch for all the people that reviewed! It means so much to me that you actually enjoy this fic and aren't just laughing at my feeble attempts at humor! Unless, that's really what you're doing. In which case, I'm going to delude myself and pretend that you're laughing because the fic is actually funny and not just... a feeble attempt at humor. Yes.. Anyway. THANK YOU SOO MUCH!!

And, please forgive the alphabet thing.. The astrics won't work on and it was the only thing I could think of... BYE!!

ankhbearer3