Title: Sugar and Spice (3/7)

Author: Satanic Mechanic

Rating: PG-13

Pairing(s): Seto/Jou, slight Otogi/Honda

Beta: Jennie

Spoilers: None

Summary: A baking contest turns Domino High into a competitive frenzy.
What effect will this have on everyone's favorite CEO and a certain
underdog in the competition?

Jou grunted, trying to struggle out of his bonds. Seto had deftly tackled him to the countertop, snatching up the discarded apron and using it to tie his arms over his head before the blonde could even blink. "Uh…Kaiba?" Jou blinked up at his captor, noticing he was wearing a puffy white chef's hat, one that he had not seen around before. The blonde would have laughed at the comical sight had he not been pinned down helplessly. The brunette merely waved a frosting covered spoon in Jou's face.

"Stop trying to struggle, you'll only make the knots tighter," Seto warned and Jou stopped his movements immediately, feeling something slightly cool drip onto his chest. At what point had his shirt come off? "Oh, sorry about that," Seto leered before leaning down to lick the frosting off the bare chest, slowly, chuckling as he heard the sharp intake of breath from above him.

"Ah…" Jou bit his lip to fight off the moan.

"Delicious," Seto commented before reaching to the side, "I know something else that might taste better on you…" the brunette drawled out before sprinkling some brown sugar on the curve of the blonde's hipbone, leaning down to…

"Holy shit!" Jou gasped out, throwing off the sweat soaked sheets and sitting up in his bed. "Did I just dream what I think I did?" the blonde panted out as he buried his face in his hands. After recovering from the initial shock, he reached over to his bedstand and pulled open a drawer, digging for something. "Come on, come on…be in there….aha!" The blonde pulled out a book he had purchased a while ago, 'Dreams; and what they mean to you'. It had come in handy before when he was having that reoccurring dream about the giant donut. He flipped to the page with 'Sex' as the heading and scanned over the words frantically.

"Dreams about sexual activities with someone you know may not always appear at face value…many times it signifies that you want to get to know this person better, or perhaps that you'd like to have power over them…" The blonde breathed a sigh of relief at that, although it still bothered him. He didn't want to get to know Kaiba better, right? Why would he? Of course…he wouldn't mind having some power over him; that might be nice. He let his mind wander back to the first dream he'd had featuring Kaiba, only this time it was the brunette who was whimpering on the floor like a dog.

Jou's fantasy was short lived though as he read further down the page, "However, most of the time dreams about sex simply state the obvious—one's own desires and sexual fantasies." He closed the book, flung it across the room and flopped down on his bed, staring up at the blank white ceiling. That couldn't be right, why the hell would he want to have sex with Kaiba? I mean, they had only spent the whole night baking together, there was nothing sexy about that.

Groaning and rolling over, Jou was prepared to drift back to sleep, praying that no more bizarre dreams would come until he realized he had another problem on his hands. Rolling off the bed Jou headed for the bathroom to tame the beast.

………

It had been hours, and Seto was still sitting in front of the computer screen. Mokuba had long since gone to bed. He had not found it odd that his brother was overworking himself as usual, or so he thought. Seto clicked on the image he was studying a few times, bringing up a large view of the section he had selected. "Who ever created this did a good job…you almost can't tell it's a fake…" Seto muttered to himself, his eyes scanning over the photo he had received yesterday. It had been driving him insane the whole time Jou had been there today; his mind had kept picturing him in that skimpy little thong.

The picture looked so real, he couldn't even see a line on the neck joining the picture of Jou's head with the body of an adult model, and Seto was actually beginning to toy with the idea that it was his. A bet gone wrong on Jou's part? Perhaps. Or maybe, just maybe…Jou really did want him to ring his…jingle bells. Seto scowled and shook his head at the obscene thought. It definitely was a photo touch up, done by a pro. It couldn't have been Jou; he was stupid, but not that stupid. Besides…Jou had a much nicer ass than that. Seto groaned at the last thought in his head, deciding that it was time for bed, his brain was malfunctioning. He knew he had a long day ahead of him tomorrow.

………

"Seto! Seto, wake up or we're going to be late!" The brunette groaned and opened his eyes slowly, searching for the source of the incessant noise so he could promptly smash it to pieces. He reached over and felt for his alarm clock blindly, finding the 'off' button and clicking it. "Seto!" The noise continued and was right over him now. He rolled over to see Mokuba standing over him and his brain began to put together the pieces.

"Uh…Mokuba?"

"Geez, I've never seen you oversleep this much, are you feeling okay?" the boy said in a concerned manner, reaching down to feel his older brother's forehead. Seto swatted him away, glancing over at the digital clock, reading 10:15. He really had overslept. When he had finally decided to go to bed last night, or this morning as the case might be, around 2 am, sleep had not come easy. His dreams had been more like nightmares, and they all incorporated a certain mutt in a red thong.

"Just give me some time to get ready." Seto sat up on the side of his bed, bringing up a hand to rub his tired eyes and to smooth down the messy bed-head.

"Alright, but remember the parade is at 11, we need to leave in about a half an hour!"

"I know."

"Um…what's that doing here?" Mokuba spoke warily, watching his brother looking up at him in a confused manner.

"What are you talking about?" Seto saw that Mokuba was looking in the direction of his nightstand. He followed his gaze and froze in horror at what he saw. It was that damned picture, that damned near pornographic picture featuring Jou in an interesting position. This had to look incriminating. Why the hell had he left that thing out? He should have disposed of it after he was done scanning it into the computer for inspection.

"No wonder you were up all night…I guess you were busy." Mokuba scrunched up his nose in a disgusted sort of manner, but his voice still sounded slightly amused.

"Mokuba!" Seto gasped at the very thing his innocent little brother was suggesting.

"So you're not going to deny it?"

"Of course I am!" Seto paused for a moment as he realized that still made him sound guilty. "I mean, no, I'm not denying anything, because it's not true. Maybe you should tell me what made you think such an inappropriate thing in the first place?" Seto crossed his arms, giving a disapproving look to the younger boy, who promptly rolled his eyes.

"Seto, I'm going to be 13 next year, you think I don't know about…these things? It's perfectly natural you know," Mokuba explained as if he were talking to a small child. "I mean, I do it too, sometimes-"

"Stop right there, I do not think this is something we should really be talking about!" Seto stated, genuinely mortified by what his brother was saying. Mokuba merely shrugged and walked out of the room, reminding Seto to be ready to go soon. Seto sighed and headed to the bathroom, making a mental note to monitor Mokuba's Internet usage from this point on. They grow up so fast, Seto frowned as he turned on the shower head.

…………

"Oh, I'm so excited." Mokuba rubbed his glove-clad hands together, watching as the streets whizzed by in a snow covered blur.

"I'm glad someone is," Seto deadpanned and flicked on his signal light, turning into a parking lot. It was December 20th and it was the day of the annual '12 Days of Christmas' parade. Seto was originally going to refuse to go, but Mokuba had found him in the shower earlier this morning, humming the song that had been stuck in his head all morning, 'Jingle Bells', and happened to be conveniently testing out his new video camera. Needless to say, Seto was faced with blackmail when he tried get out of going to the parade. So now here they were, and they were there to stay. Seto stepped out of the sleek sports-car, amazed by the sheer mass of people who where crowding the main street of Domino. "Mokuba, just stay close to…" Seto turned around to find Mokuba had already ran off into the crowd. "…me."

The younger boy was currently running towards a shop decorated with red and blue Christmas lights, where he saw a familiar face. "Yugi! What are you doing here?" Mokuba smiled and looked up at the sign above the doors to the shop that read 'Naughty but Nice'.

"Oh, I'm waiting for Jou to, um, do something," Yugi stated, obviously embarrassed about being caught outside a sex shop, "Then we're going to watch the parade."

"Oh cool," Mokuba commented just moments before they heard a loud noise coming from inside the shop. Yugi and Mokuba exchanged glances before rushing through the doors, wondering what kind of mayhem Jou could be causing now.

"Hey, brat, you better fix that display case!" A man standing at the counter glared at Jou, who was currently making a big fuss over something, arms flailing; probably the reason the display case was on the floor, condoms spilling out over the white tiles.

"No! Not until you take this back!" Jou shoved the bottle of chocolate flavored lube in the man's face, to which the man swatted him away.

"Look, you don't have a receipt, so I can't."

"That's because I didn't buy it, some pervert sent it to me! Look!" Jou flashed him the tag that was labeled 'from your secret admirer'.

"Hn." The man read the tag and looked up at the blonde, giving him the once over. "Who the hell would want to secretly admire you?"

"That's what I said!" Jou exclaimed throwing his hands up in exasperation before he paused, realizing what the man had just said, "Wait a minute…"

The man snickered at Jou's insulted tone before shaking his head and speaking. "Listen kid, it's already opened, so I can't take it back either way. But, I'll throw in a free pair of bondage bracelets if you leave me alone. You look like you're into that kind of stuff."

Jou put his hands and his hips and huffed, "And how the hell would you know?"

"It's a gift. I can tell just by looking at people what their kink is," the man shrugged, gesturing over at something behind Jou's shoulder. "Take that 'spiked wonder' for example. He likes to wear women's underwear and be spanked with a paddle."

"Ex—excuse me?" Yugi blushed as he realized the man was referring to him. Jou looked over his shoulder to see his friend.

"Man, you're all wrong. Yugi would never do something like that! Oh, hi Mokuba," Jou finished as he noticed the boy standing next to Yugi. "Wait. Mokuba?!" Jou panicked and jumped in front of the boy, trying to shield his eyes from the display of variously shaped vibrators on the wall next to them. "What are you doing in here?"

"I was talking to Yugi outside and we heard a noise. Would you chill out Jou?" Mokuba giggled and moved out of the way as Jou tried to cover the boy's eyes.

"Let's get out of here, this guy is making me uncomfortable," Yugi whispered.

"Yeah, fine, he's not going to take this back anyway," Jou sighed and stuffed the recent object of his demise into the large pocket of his winter coat. "Hey, Honda let's go!" Jou called over to his friend, who seemed to be studying some items in the back of the store with interest. "Sex dice?" Jou raised an eyebrow as he realized what his friend was holding. "You really are starting to hang out with Otogi too much."

"Shut up," Honda sneered and tossed the dice back on the display.

"Jou, how did you get that stuff?" Mokuba asked.

"This stuff?" Jou patted his pocket and the boy nodded. "Some weirdo stuffed it in my mail box," he said as the stepped outside to the busy street. "Pretty gross, huh?"

"Hmm…you know, I could have sworn I saw Seto bringing home something like that, but he hid it somewhere before I could get a good look," Mokuba grinned as he saw Jou's eyes widen in surprise.

"Wait…are you saying that you think…your brother did this?" Jou gasped out.

Mokuba shrugged. "I dunno…don't worry about it Jou, I'm sure that it's just a coincidence."

"Hey Jou!" The blonde was snapped out of his shocked state by an elbow to the ribs. "Check out the 8 maids-a-milkin'!" Honda exclaimed as eight women in very low cropped, short maids' uniforms passed, a few cows walking down the street with them. "Wait a minute…is that, Mai?"

Jou squinted his eyes as he noticed a busty woman with blonde hair walking in the parade, dressed up as one of the mentioned maids. "Hey, Mai! Over here!" Jou called out and the woman in question stopped and made her way over to the group.

"Jounouchi, Yugi." Mai greeted them lamely, obviously not enjoying herself.

"What are you doing in the parade?"

The woman sighed. "I needed the extra cash. Looking this good costs money you know," she explained before one of her fellow maids grabbed her by the elbow.

"Move it! We have to make room for the 'nine ladies dancing'!" the girl exclaimed, pulling Mai back into the current of the parade route. Mai waved goodbye, helpless as she was dragged off. Next came a band of drum players tapping a very loud tune, and right behind them a bunch of men playing flutes.

"Isn't this nice?" Mokuba beamed up at his friends as they watched the parade.

"Mokuba!" The group all exchanged glances as they heard the name being called loudly from somewhere amidst the large crowd. "Mokuba!" It came from a closer distance this time.

"Hey, doesn't that sound like-,"

"Seto!!" Yugi was cut short as the smaller boy jumped in his spot. "Oh my god, I completely forgot that I left him behind! He'll be so angry!"

"There you are!" The brunette emerged from the crowd, nearly mowing down a group of carolers as he spotted his little brother. "Mokuba, what on earth did you think you were doing!?"

"Ow, ow, ow…" Mokuba whined as his ear was pulled on harshly. "Seto, I'm sorry, but I was with Yugi the whole time! See? No harm done!" Seto looked up and sneered at Yugi and company, not bothering with any sort of greeting.

"Jounouchi, don't forget, 6pm tonight." The blonde nodded rapidly, but couldn't bring himself to look up into the other man's eyes. Seto turned back to his brother, "We'd better be going."

"But, Seto! We haven't even been here an hour!" Mokuba whined.

"Yes well, it's almost over anyway, and you know how I dislike crowded places."

Mokua sighed. "Alright, we can go. Bye, guys." The boy waved glumly and the two disappeared into the crowd."

"Man, what a jerk-off. I'm sorry you have to work with him Jou," Honda commented once Seto was safely out of hearing distance.

"Yeah well, can't win them all," Jou shrugged, looking back up towards the parade before picking out another familiar face. "Hey, Bakura!" Jou called across the road to the other side, where the white-haired boy was standing and watching quietly. He heard his name being called and waved back politely.

"Think he can come over to this side with us?" Jou turned to his friend.

"Not until the parade is finished. Santa Claus still has to come out on his sleigh." Yugi answered, waving back to Bakura, only there seemed to be something different about him all of a sudden. "Um…Bakura, are you feeling okay?" Yugi called loudly across the street.

"What do you mean?" Bakura called back, his voice sounding harsher than usual.

"You look like you're constipated!" Yugi shouted, making a little mega-phone with his hands so that he could be heard, a few passersby giving him strange looks.

"Pharaoh!" Bakura growled out, recognizing the change immediately, "Stay right there so I can smite you!!" The spirit of the ring grinned maniacally and pushed his way past the security guards that were lining the streets. "Move out of my way mortal!" he hissed at a stubby man who was blocking his warpath.

"I'm sorry sir, but no one is allowed on the road while Santa is passing through," the man spoke.

"Santa can blow me," Bakura stated bluntly and found great pleasure in the shocked look on the other man's face. With the man distracted he pushed his way through, spotting the arrogant pharaoh on the other side of the street and heading blindly in that direction.

"Ho ho…holy shi-," The big jolly man with the red cap jumped as his sleigh suddenly came to an abrupt halt. "I though you said the live reindeer wouldn't be a problem?" he whispered to one of the elves, who also happened to be one of the producers of the event.

"It seems that someone attacked one of the reindeer!"

"No, no, I saw it happen, and it looked more like that guy got ran over by the reindeer."

"Well, shit, we'd better not get sued for this."

"Agh…" Bakura blinked open his eyes only to see a horned beast standing over him. The animal leaned down to sniff him before huffing out a blast of air from its nostrils. "Do you mind?" Bakura grimaced, raising his hand to shield his face from lovely reindeer snot. The animal blinked and began chewing on the white hair lazily. "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Bakura shouted, causing the animal to back off. The spirit then jumped up and bit the animal's ear. "There, how do you like it?" The animal looked back at the human who was latched onto his ear for moment before screeching and taking off, spurring the rest of reindeer to run along with him.

"Oh my god!" Mai gasped as the sleigh that was once carrying Santa whizzed past her and the rest of the maids, sending the swans and the French hens flying away for the hills. Women screamed, children cried, teenagers thought it was the funniest thing they ever saw, as the entire parade went into mass hysteria. The sleigh finally stopped when the head deer crashed into the pear-tree at the front of the parade, knocking it over and sending the partridge to the ground, screeching and flapping feathers everywhere.

Once things had settled down, people tried to calm the animals, and the onlookers went back to the normal routine...onlooking. Bakura walked over to where taller Yugi and friends were, satisfied that he had created as much chaos as possible, grinning like it was what he had planned to do all along. "Hello Pharaoh, did you enjoy the mockery I made of you're beloved little parade?"

"You have reindeer snot on your nose" came the simple reply, and Bakura narrowed his eyes before bringing a slow hand up to his face, seeing that it was, in fact, true.

"Yes well…good day then," Bakura stated with as much as was left of his wounded pride, before turning heel and storming off. The other spirit rolled his eyes and smirked back at the retreating form when he noticed something odd…down there.

"Yugi? Why do our underwear feel so…silky smooth?" Yami let his mind wander back to the conversation that took place in the sex shop, how the man said that Yugi liked to wear woman's underwear…and well, do stuff that Yami didn't really want to think about.

"Hey, Yugi are you cold? You can borrow my scarf if you want," Honda commented to his friend who seemed to be blushing slightly.

"Uh, no I'm fine, thanks for asking," Yugi smiled before adjusting his underwear discreetly; lace could get really itchy sometimes.