CHAPTER TWO
Back in the Gryffindor common room, Remus had turned the volume back up on Sirius, who had immediately proceeded to exercise his vocal chords vigorously.
"♫ - WALK THIS WAY! TALK THIS WAY! WALK THIS ♫ - hey Moony!"
Remus, deeply absorbed in Numerology and Grammatica, appeared not to hear him.
"Mooooony! MOONY! MOONY YOU CAN TAKE YOUR EARPLUGS OUT NOW!"
"What?" Remus finally tore his eyes away from the heavy tome, and was immediately confronted by Sirius' snapping fingers. "What is it?"
"Where is everyone?"
Remus looked around the deserted common room. "They..uh…they didn't feel worthy of your singing…talents…so they….crawled away in abject humility?"
Sirius nodded knowingly, apparently satisfied. "Why aren't Lily and James back?"
Remus grunted. It was generally a bad idea to disturb him in the middle of reading.
For about two minutes, Sirius walked around the common room, fiddling with various knick knacks and humming the Electric Slide. Eventually he sucked in a huge breath and said the words – "I'm bored."
Muscles spasming noticeably, Remus pushed aside his quill, ink, and book before Sirius even finished the sentence. "Come on then, let's go find Lily and James."
"Wow, that was fast. Were you expecting me to say that?"
"You think?"
Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth (camels yes, but not horses), Sirius followed Remus out of the portrait hole.
By the time they reached the Hospital Wing, Sirius' handsome head had been replaced by a large kiwi fruit. Madam Prifton nearly burst a blood vessel when they came through the door.
"Sirius, what happened?" she exclaimed as she restored his head to its normal self, and then proceeded to give him exorbitant amounts of candy.
"I was being a git, so Remus attacked me. No big deal," Sirius said nonchalantly as he started to sift through the candy. Madam Prifton bustled out of the room muttering something about responsibility.
"You know they put dried Billywig stings in those, don't you?" Remus commented as Sirius selected a Fizzing Whizbee.
"Really?" Sirius asked, quirking an eyebrow. He eyeballed the treat for about eight seconds before popping it into his mouth.
"So James," Remus began, turning toward the sorry figure huddled in the fetal position on a bed. "You want to tell us why you're shivering in your timbers and whatnot?"
"Why is James still here but Lily isn't?" Sirius asked.
"Generally, if James is in the hospital and Lily isn't, it means she put him there," Remus said, sounding remarkably like a weatherman.
James rocked back and forth.
"Oh," Sirius said. "Well, Jamsiepoo, you do remember what night tonight is, don't you?"
"Yeah, come on. We have to prepare," Remus chimed in.
James sat bolt upright, a mischievous grin on his face and a slightly crazed look in his eye. He jumped out of bed and proclaimed, "Let's do it."