"ROCKY AND BULLWINKLE WERE OFF AGAIN ON YET ANOTHER, EPIC, GLOBE-TROTTING ADVENTURE! WHEN LAST YOU SAW THEM THEY HAD JUST ESCAPED BEING LOCKED IN A CHEST IN AT THE BOTTOM OF THE ATLANTIC OCEAN, ESCAPED A TURKISH PRISON USING ONLY SOME STRING AND A PLASTIC STRAW, AND OUTRAN NINETY-THOUSAND CANNIBALS FROM THE HIDDEN TRIBE OF WATABUT IN THE JUNGLES OF ZANZIBAR!"

"It was BRUTAL!" Bullwinkle exclaimed, extinguishing the fire on his left antler.

"And WAAAYYY above the animation budget!" Rocky replied, removing thirty arrows from his backside.

"AND NOW THESE TWO JET-SETTING ANIMALS HAD REACHED THE EPOCH OF THEIR JOURNEY…."

(*scene cuts to birds flying away to reveal a massive, stone jungle temple-like structure before Rocky and Bullwinkle.*)

"THE TEMPLE OF THE MYSTIC TALISMAN KNOWN ONLY AS THE EYE OF LUCI. IT'S LOCATED IN ONLY THE MOST DENSE JUNGLES OF THE AMAZON, COMPLETELY SEALED OFF FROM THE REST OF THE WORLD!"

"Rumor has it that the Eye contains a hidden map to the lost city of Shangri-La!" Rocky exclaimed. "Now we just have to find a way to avoid all these booby traps…"

"HAHAAAA!" Bullwinkle exclaimed. "You said "traps"!"

"NEVERTHLESS, BOTH OUR BOYS WERE ABLE TO MAKE IT THROUGH TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE TEMPLE, PAST THE SNAKE TRAPS, THE FLAMETHROWER TRAP, AND THE FLAMIN' SNAKE TRAP!"

"Boy these people sure do like snakes." Bullwinkle commented. "And flames."

"Now all that's left to do is grab it!" Rocky smiled. He picked up Bullwinkle and the two climbed to the pedestal where the amulet was being displayed.

"AS ROCKY REACHED OUT HIS HAND TO GRAB THE AMULET, HE WAS STRANGELY STOPPED BY THE HAND OF ANOTHER FIGURE. AS IT TURNS OUT SAID HAND BELONGED TO A SIX-FOOT IRISH SETTER, THAT WORE A SUIT AND HAT SIMILAR TO THAT OF A NOIR DETECTIVE. NEXT TO HIM WAS A SHORTER, NAKED, WHITE FURRED…uh, rabbit…ty thing?"

"Hey SAM! Who the *(BLEEP)* are these losers?!" The rabbity-thing spoke to his compatriot.

"A little guy and a bigger guy, both animals of the crime-fighting, mystery-solving persuasion?" The six-foot tall dog pondered, then gasped. "SWEET JUMPIN' JAY WARD READIN' THE KORAN IN A SPEEDO WHILE BEING CATAPULTED OVER MINNESOTA, MAX! I think these badly-animated guys are stealing our image, little pal!"

"Hey, you're not so hot yourself ya….dog?" Bullwinkle struggled to come up with a better comeback.

"So the dynamic is switched here…interesting…" Sam pondered. "Kinda thought you'd be the smart one, coatrack."

"And I thought the squirrel could do THIS!!" Max exclaimed, pulling out his gun.

"W-Where'd you get that?" Rocky asked Max, very scared now.

"That's none of your damn business." Max replied, a huge shark-like grin still upon his face.

"Well, in that case I'll take that amulet." Rocky took the Eye of Luci.

"No way! It's ours you f*cks!" Max hollered, trying to grab the amulet from Rocky.

"MAKE SURE TO BE WITH US NEXT TIME FOR "Sam-I-Am" OR "Kick it to the Max!"!"

"Hey! What the hell was THAT?!" Max exclaimed.

"I believe that fellow is a narrator, Max." Sam spoke, placing an arm around the rabbity-thing. "He explains stuff in a loud, bombastic manner to the audience, despite the fact the audience already knows what he's explaining."

"Ohhhh…" Max replied. "Well that explains it."

—————

((A/N: Well, what do you think so far? This started off as a simple "Rocky and Bullwinkle go to Shangri-La"-story, but then I thought, what if they had competition? And what if said competition was none other than SAM AND MAX?!))