CHAPTER TEN

"Yowch!"

"Hold still, Black!"

Sirius smacked Lily's hand away and rubbed his eye tenderly. "Aren't you supposed to put eyeliner around the outside of your eye?" he asked plaintively.

Lily suppressed a sigh. "It looks more natural on the inside, you dolt."

Sirius stared blankly at her. "Remind me why I'm doing this again?"

"Because James told you it would be fun," answered Remus, who was using a wizard video camera to document the whole process.

A grin crept onto Sirius' face. "What say we make this more interesting?"

"How so?" Lily said suspiciously. Remus focused his camera lens.

"Nothing too fancy," Sirius said innocently. "If I, in woman form, can get thirty dates by dinnertime, then you go on a date with Prongsie here."

"YES!" James yelled, jumping up and punching the air with his fist.

Lily gave Sirius an appraising look. After deliberating for a bit, she said "All right, but when you lose -"

"If I lose," Sirius interrupted.

"If you lose," Lily amended, "Then Potter leaves me alone for a month."

"NO!" bellowed James, sinking to his knees and burying his face in the rug.

"Get a grip, James" said Sirius impatiently. "You're not going to lose. Look at me."

James paused his theatrical sobbing to take a look at the newly feminine Sirius. His dark hair was now platinum blond. Naturally, he had makeup on – mascara, eye shadow, lip gloss, the works. A Shrinking Charm had cut about six inches off his height. He wore a short black dress of Lily's, and a very padded pushup bra underneath. He had even shaved his legs. Sirius Black made quite an attractive female.

"You're right," James grinned. "We are winning this thing."

Even Lily looked a little apprehensive. "I don't have to snog him on this date if you win, do I?"

Sirius looked like a cat with a mouse. "Oh no, Lilyflower. You just have to wear this dress."

"I am never wearing that dress again," she grimaced.

James looked like a five year old on his birthday. "You need a girly name, don't you, mate?"

"How about Stacy?" Lily offered. Sirius shook his head vehemently.

"My name is Robin Agneau. Not Stacy."

James stared for a moment before recovering his composure. "All right, let me kick things off. Robin Agneau, my name's James Potter. Will you go on a date with me?

Sirius tittered in a girly fashion. "Of course, Jamsiekins!"

Lily groaned.

"One down, twenty nine to go," Sirius said in a sing song voice.

James' hazel eyes focused on Remus. "Moony! Ask Sirius out!"

Remus looked scandalized. "Not a chance! I can't interfere, that'd be a conflict of interest! This is a documentary I'm filming here!"

James pouted. "Fine, Remy, be that way."

"And you guys probably shouldn't talk to me, either," Remus added thoughtfully. "This film needs to be unbiased."

James shook his head. "You are sick, do you know that? Just sick."

A thought popped into Lily's head. "Yes! Now I'll know if you guys cheated or not!"

"You doubt my ability to get thirty dates by dinnertime?" cried an outraged Sirius.

Lily ignored him. "Remus, I need that tape at dinner."

"Don't talk to me!" said a frustrated Remus.

James, Sirius, and Lily quickly looked anywhere except at the camera.

"So Sirius…I mean, Robin," James smirked.

Sirius smiled in what he thought was a seductive way. "Yes, James?"

"I reckon it's time to set you loose in the halls of Hogwarts."

"I'd have to agree with you there."

James offered Sirius his arm. "Shall we?"

Sirius linked arms with his best friend. "We shall."

They set off down the staircase that led to the common room, Remus and his camera following close behind.