content warning: just in case. there's some use of slurs near the end of this chapter, along with homophobia and general chauvinism.

Scarlet Justice: Full Blossom – ep. 25
"Atmospheres"

The days continue on, with Fio and I getting used to our new connection.

Crim and I finished our set of bracelets within two days. There are five in total, including the one around Fio's wrist. At some point I will hand them out to the members of my inner circle - Hina, Ino, and Erika - with one left over to make an extra decision on. Shino doesn't really have a need for it, I believe. And we don't want to reveal anything with so many hostile elements in and out of the village. One of the things I will definitely have to do is figure out a locking system so that only the intended users would have access to it. Fio has that taken care of with her unique seals.

Speaking of her, she's been having a good time figuring out the nuances of the communication system. We spent an entire day using it to talk to each other. It was interesting, and very educational. Having someone talk to you and hearing their voice are two entirely different things. We can use pitch, tone, inflection, and everything in the same way as if we were using our vocal chords, but there is definitely something else to hearing voices as they come from another person's lips. I found myself missing it after a while, and so did Fio. We broke our silence to wish each other good night, and declared the experiment a success.

Lili! I'm gonna be back a bit later than scheduled.

It's another new morning in the Leaf. I'm taking completed paperwork over to the Jounin Commander's office for processing, and then picking up another folder to start the cycle anew. Well, I think this will be done before lunch today...so I might have a small break, actually. And I did want to do some weight training this week.

Rather early on to hear about that, no?

Ah, there's a really big delay. There was a landslide earlier and it's blocked off the path that the civilians were supposed to use on their way up. We have to figure out how to move their supplies around safely...narrow passage and all. And whatever they're carrying is finicky, so I can't just go a-blasting like I want to.

Bothersome, that.

Yep.

I'll be keeping busy, so no need to worry about me. Though I'll miss you terribly, as always.

I know, hehe. Just wanted to give you a heads' up since we'll be moving slow for a few days. Oh, you said you had your recon thing to get to. Did you want to do that while I was gone?

No, that will take a bit more preparation on the side of our marine forces. Another week at best, but I'm not in an incredible rush. You take your time, and I'll be waiting for you here.

Got it. I love you lots, Lili.

And I love you, Fio. Good luck.

We end our call and I knock before opening the door to the commander's station.

"Good morning, Lord Nara."

"Morning." Shikaku sips at his coffee and gestures towards the in pile with his free hand. I gently set my paperwork down, and he nods.

"Give me a second to get your documents."

"Take your time."

"Did you want a drink?"

"No, but thank you. I'm planning to fill myself with caffeine at a local cafe in a few minutes."

"Hard at work already?"

"The day's opened up. I want to tend to my body properly later. After all, it does take some work to look this good all the time. Just a little bit, you know."

Shikaku turns his chair from the filing cabinet and sets down a thick folder on the desk. "That'll be reassuring to some people."

"It should. Even the gifted need to work hard every once in a while."

"That was sarcasm, by the way."

"Oh, I know."

He shakes his head before chuckling. "Well, stay out of trouble. Oh, just so you know...the jounin meeting is getting pushed back a few days. Executive meddling and some regional changes. Nothing's been happening much with the occupied zone in Sound, but you know how some of the brass get."

"A touch of greed, eh."

"Time is like a flat circle. So I've heard."

"Mm. In the current world, there might be something to that."

"But you think you can change that part."

"I don't think anything, honestly. Either I do, or I do not. No in between," I say to Shikaku as I pick up the folder.

"Just be careful. There's always someone or something lurking in the shadows."

"I'll remember, Shikaku."

"Good. Have yourself a productive day, Colonel Kobayashi. I'll be here if you need anything."

"Thank you. Until next time, Commander Nara."

He gives me a short salute before sipping at his coffee again. I head out with my desired folder and pick a cafe at random, order a pot of coffee for myself, and sit down to start on my work. It's reasonably quiet for this time of day, and I make sure that nobody is wandering too close – the information isn't critically sensitive, but it's always better to be safe than sorry in these times.

"Couple of incoming washouts...mm. Wonder if I can't steer them somewhere safe before they get themselves killed. I don't like the thought of it. And you, I'll get rid of with a phone call. And you over here, I'll recommend for promotion." I nod and start my writing.

After about an hour or so of going through reports, I'm just about done. A familiar chakra signature comes up as a result of my surveillance, and stops at a sensible distance from my table.

"Colonel Kobayashi, ma'am. I was wondering if you had time for me today."

I lift my head towards Futaba.

"I'm actually just about finished with my work here, so your timing is very good. Have a seat there, and order something for yourself."

"Thank you."

She sits across from me and quickly brushes at her hair with one hand.

"Anything for you, miss?" the waitress asks.

"Oh, yes. Peppermint tea, please. One sugar," Futaba says.

"Of course. And you, ma'am?"

"One glass of lemonade," I say. "I've had enough coffee for today. Deliciously done, by the by."

"Fresh brewed on the spot. Lots of work, but it's worth it."

"Oh, indeed. Thank you very much."

"You're welcome, ma'am. I'll be back with your orders in a bit."

She takes away the coffee pot and other things on the table before leaving quietly. Futaba moves around a bit in order to get more comfortable. I let out a sigh and cross my legs.

"Well. I have been wondering when we would get a chance to chat."

"You have, ma'am?"

"Yes, very much so. And just so you know, you don't need to be so stiff and formal around me. Lili is fine." I give her a wink. "Of course...you can call me whatever you like, if that's what you're into."

"O-oh. I'm...um, a little tamer than most, I think," she says with a blush.

"Hmhm. I figured. How have you been, Futaba?"

"Doing pretty well, m-I mean, Lili. Sorry, I need to get used to that."

"It's perfectly fine."

"Thank you. Yes, I've been doing well enough. Trying to consider what the best path is for my personal growth. I might want to become a special jounin instead of a full jounin, you know? Different responsibilities and time constraints."

"That's very well understood. There is much in the way of work involved at this level, in addition to the generally more stressful mission types. Not everyone is built for them, and that's more than fine. People like Tsume Inuzuka and Ibiki Morino are special jounin, and they're some of the more experienced members of this village. Of course, you can take on different career paths within the jounin sphere. You might want to become a full time educator and have more impactful changes in your field."

"The pay doesn't hurt, either."

"It certainly doesn't. Between you and me, I love having the extra income to throw around. It means I can hand out treats whenever I want."

"That's so nice of you."

"Shino told me the good news."

"Oh...he did? Well, um. That's what I was here to talk to you about, most of all...wait, you said good news." She blinks a few times. "Does...that mean you approve?"

"Hm? Of course I do."

"Really. Wow...I mean...I thought you would be a little less happy. You know. After I was such a bitch to Yuno on that mission. Or maybe I was under the assumption that you would threaten me, something like that."

"All of the threats you're thinking of are implicit, my darling."

"Ahaha...I'm sure they are. That only makes sense." She lets out a breath. "I...really love Shino. A lot. I guess you saw through me when I asked you to talk to him about three years ago. He's a handful sometimes. He's still kind of shocked sometimes that I chose him, you know? But we're together for real, and I want to keep taking care of him. I'm thinking of marriage, in the future."

"I really am happy to see you two together. He cares for you, too. And yes, he is an interesting personality at times. But that's why I love him so much."

"I know. He speaks so highly of you. Not just as a leader or teammate, but as a friend. Thank you for letting us come together like this. I know it's dramatic to say, but I would rather die than hurt Shino. He means that much to me."

I nod as the waitress comes back with our drinks.

"Here we are. One peppermint tea, single sugar. And our house lemonade, freshly made. Enjoy, ladies."

"Thank you kindly," I say. She nods back before leaving. Futaba takes a few sips of her tea while I sip from my lemonade glass. Lovely. I'll have to come back here soon.

"The tea is so nice here. I love how minty this is, it's beautiful," Futaba says.

"The lemonade is wonderful, too."

"I'll have to try it next time." She sets down her cup and sighs. "I was nervous for a lot of reasons. Do you mind if I...talk about some things? What I've been going through since the last time we properly spoke..."

"Of course. What was on your mind, Futaba?"

"I'm just...it was on my mind for such a while. I thought of you and everything, and...it's complicated."

"Take all the time you need. I'm here to listen," I say gently.

She nods and takes another sip of tea to calm herself.

"You must remember the mission we first went on. When I was spitting out that hateful garbage about Yuno. What you did for me changed my life, Lili. You treated me with so much kindness, and I couldn't figure out what to do next. Slowing down was the best option, and it let me clear my head. It was because my mind was clear that I could go to you about approaching Shino. And later, I could talk to Yuno again. She was kind to me, too. Kinder than I thought she should have been. I...kept screwing up. Things like misgendering her, even if it was a mistake. But she was so patient with me. It reminded me so much of you. I just...I can't understand how you can take it all."

"The discrimination, you mean."

"Yes. I know now that you're a lesbian...isn't that the truth?"

"It is, yes."

"I called you a deviant out of anger that time, but I wondered how close I was to the truth about you, after seeing how you reacted. The reason I talk about this is because of what happened when I started dating Shino. My parents seemed happy at first. They talked about how it would be good for me to marry someone from such a prestigious Leaf family. The heir to a clan, of all things. I felt a bit embarrassed...hearing it like that made it sound like I was after Shino for that reason alone."

"Mm. It had crossed my mind as a possibility, but your interest seemed far more genuine than that," I say.

"That only makes sense, to be a bit skeptical about it. I thought everything was fine, you know? And then there was one of the usual gatherings at our home a few years ago. Everyone there knew each other...a clique that my mom and dad were part of from their school days. They started talking about people in the Leaf. Gossiping about them. Slandering them. They started talking about how the Aburame were bug infested freaks who only had value as tools and killers. Just out in the open like that. I was so angry. I didn't say anything. I couldn't. It was like my mouth was sealed shut. I just...fumed in a distant corner while everyone else talked. That's how I came to understand the type of person I had been. I was just like them before meeting you and Shino. I was the one gossiping and making fun of others. All of that, despite the fact that they would devote their lives to protecting this village, this entire nation and the people that live in it. People like me, who did nothing but trash and slander them the moment their backs turned. I realized what a hypocrite I was."

"It's better that you found yourself later, rather than not at all. But I can imagine it still felt terrible," I say to her.

"It did. It felt so awful. All I could think of was how all of the Aburame I met never looked down on me. They treated me with such respect and kindness, even as an outsider. Especially Miss Kiko. And my family along with their friends were trashing them, while I all I could do was sit and watch. I realized how often they did it after that. How they talked about others. I just...tuned it out before. Treated it as normal background noise."

She looks at me wistfully.

"And they talked about you, too. All of the rumours swirling around...saying that you were someone dangerous, someone predisposed to depravity. They came to the same conclusions that I did once, that you were a freak and a deviant. It wasn't just them. The people that I hung out with before, the adults that would hold conversations with us...they were the same. It was just so hateful, and I couldn't stand it. Part of the reason why I lost control the first time we met was because I respected you so much. You were so strong, so brilliant and beautiful. And so, in my mind...it was terrifying to see you voice your support for Yuno, someone who wasn't at all like you, someone who violated what I thought was the natural order of things. You did so much for this village. You helped save Lord Hokage, you defended this home from that monster Orochimaru. You were an incredible, brilliant student, a fantastic military mind. You carry yourself with such elegance and grace, you seem to know the answer to every question that comes your way. And yet...they drag your name through the mud. How is that fair? How could that make any sense? It's why I wanted what you had...and to be like you. To be someone who dealt with all of that, and still had the capacity to give me comfort after I said such terrible things."

I take a sip of my lemonade. "I said before that you would not want to be like me so badly, once you saw the scars on my heart."

"I remember that."

"I stand behind those words, even now. It is hard to love in those circumstances for most. It is even harder to forgive. But I was blessed in my short time on the earth. My mother was the one who showed me what the meaning of love was. My beloved sister then filled me with it again, and helped shape me. I pour out the love that has gathered in my heart to those who are in need. There...is no special method. No real means of replicating what is in me, because it is the work of heaven itself. But you can reach towards your own truth, once someone has given you kindness from themselves."

"The grace that you gave me."

"Yes."

"It's stayed with me the entire time. I'm sure it will for the rest of my life, just as you said it would. It opened up a space in my heart that wasn't there before. I found myself...aware of where I was, and what I could and could not do. My parents wouldn't listen, even as I pleaded with them to stop talking about Shino and his family in the way they did. I couldn't be with them any longer. So...I made up an excuse to leave. I said that I had found a new opportunity as a kunoichi, one that might allow me to leave the military sooner. I didn't feel bad about lying to them...I think that was proof of how far we were drifting apart."

"You're living on your own?"

"Sharing an apartment with one of my girlfriends. My parents don't know that. I haven't talked to them in a while, and that was over the phone and stuff. They sound the same. Like they're never going to change, no matter what happens. But I'm...okay now. I'm not perfect. I still have so much learning to do..."

"We all do. I personally don't believe there's a time where we can ever rest on the knowledge we have. The world is ever changing."

"That's true."

"However, it does a body no good to burn themselves out trying to keep up. Not everyone is built for that task. And not everyone needs to flow endlessly with the times, nor should they. Some of my most favourite people are timeless, like treasure boxes from a single place in history. There are some things that I think should be held to, no matter what the passage of time might bring."

"I see. There's a lot to think about, isn't there?"

"There always is. But I'm glad to hear that you've been changing, Futaba. I want you to know that I'm very proud of you, and I wish you well on your journey."

She blushes and smiles. "Thank you so much. Hearing that...makes me incredibly happy."

"It's always good to acknowledge someone efforts and accomplishments. You have been through a lot, and achieved even more. You're becoming the kind person I hoped you would be."

"I...I know it's going to sound harsh, but..."

"You're wondering if there's a bit of self-interest involved here, yes?"

She nods.

"Far be it from me to lie to you, Futaba. There is, quite a bit, in fact. I want nothing but the best for my Shino. It's what he deserves. But all of that aside, it makes me happy to see you growing, too. Every person met with kindness is another person that can share that kindness with others. And it goes on and on like this, until the whole world knows what it means to love and be loved."

"It sounds like such a beautiful dream."

"It does, yes. I want it to be more than that, one day soon."

"If it's you, Lili...I know that it's possible. Please, if there's anything that I can do, let me know. However small it might be."

"I'll remember, Futaba. Thank you," I say with a smile.

"Um...do you mind if we talk about work stuff a bit?" she asks. "Shino said that you had some neat tips for paperwork, and I was really interested to see what that was about one of these days."

"Certainly. As said before, I don't have much in the way of business today." I run a hand through my hair and flip it over my shoulder.

"A-and after that...hair advice," Futaba mumbles. "Kind of unfair how good yours looks."

"Hmhm. I'll think about revealing my secrets, perhaps."

She sighs. "I can live with that much. Okay. Let's hear about how you handle forms. Shino said it was confusing, but he likes to exaggerate sometimes..."

After finishing up at the cafe, I head over to the gym where Kurenai and I usually work out. Before that, I stop at the clothing store nearby and buy some exercise wear, since I hadn't packed any before coming to the Leaf.

One of the regular staff at the gym recognizes me and we have a short conversation. I head to the changing room with my new bag, get into my outfit, and head towards the weights while tying up my hair. Right, we have to limber up first. Shinobi can get the same mundane injuries as everyone else in these scenarios, especially if we're not careful.

"Afternoon. Haven't seen you around here before."

I continue putting weight on the barbell as someone approaches me. A casual glance to the side reveals a fit gentleman, with musculature that is well defined against his shirt and shorts. At the least, he's sensibly built and works on his upper and lower halves equally.

"Good afternoon. This is my first time back in a while, so perhaps that might explain things. My elder sister is usually with me, but she's just had her first child."

"Oh, congratulations to her. You've uh, got a bit of weight on the bar there, I see."

"A light workout for now," I say as I finish adding weight. "Easing back into things."

"Did you need someone to spot you?"

"I should be more than fine. You'll know if I need any help," I say with a polite smile. After shaking out my limbs, I lay down on the bench and get a firm grip on the bar. Then I lift it from the rack, let it fall towards my chest, and lift again.

"You're sure that you'll be okay?" the man asks.

"Quite sure. Thank you kindly," I say to him.

"Alright. Have fun," he says with a shrug.

"I will. Thank you."

Annoying, but far from the worst that I've had to deal with in these places. He gave up easily enough.

I ease through my repetitions and re-rack the barbell before resting a bit. The sounds of conversation, faint to most, float across the room.

"Hey. You know who that girl is over there?" The man from earlier hasn't given up on sating his curiosity, it seems.

"Who're you talking about?" another man replies.

"The one with the red hair. Dressed for attention."

"Oh. That's Miss Kobayashi. People call her Lili sometimes."

"The Lilith Kobayashi from the exams and stuff?"

"That's her. She's a regular here, just that she was away for training or something I guess. Yeah, that's her usual workout wear. Pretty standard, I think. What happened, you try to pick her up or something?"

I let out a breath and pull down the bar again.

"Nothing like that."

"Ah, so you gave up halfway through. It happens."

"Dude, shut up. It was just weird how she didn't want any company at all. Like she wanted to get rid of me real quick."

"Can you blame her? All sorts of weirdos around these parts. Probably wanted some peace and quiet. Only people she really talks to her are her girlfriends when they're around."

"That's the other thing. Are those rumours true?"

"Rumours?"

I finish another set and put the bar back up.

"That she's a dyke. A lesbian. Doesn't like men, all of that," the first man says.

"Hell if I know. What's it matter?"

"What do you mean what's it matter?"

"It's none of our business. I don't think it's true, but if it is, whatever. It's her life and a good one to live."

"Well, excuse me. What, are you gay too?"

I pull the bar down and start another set of repetitions.

"Not last I checked. I just like minding my business. Gay or not, it doesn't make her any less of a badass. Know what I mean?"

"I don't. I mean, just look at her. That...everything. And men are getting turned away. I just think it's crazy, man."

"Yeah? I dunno. I think we're living in the crazy house right now as it is. Hey, if you go back over there and she rejects you, get me an autograph."

"Shut up."

I laugh quietly to myself as I work.